ShrimpShady

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Today at 8:39 AM

I feel like a lot of "greatest opening lines in literature" are just "the opening lines of classic novels"

"When he was nearly thirteen my brother Jem got his arm broken badly at the elbow" is not one of the greatest opening lines in literature

• 

  Macha

• Today at 7:35 AM

Keep your virus to yourself

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=959955266415243&id=100072023348477

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Today at 6:53 AM

DB Cooper was the Zodiac Killer, but most aren't ready for this conversation

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Today at 2:11 AM

Wish we could get big city infrastructure without the big city "everything is far away"-ness

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Yesterday at 12:45 PM

Wingstop cashier mispronounced my name and then laughed at it

I officially no longer support the working class. I am now a diehard capitalist

Water is not a human right. Busting unions > busting nuts. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps or die.

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Yesterday at 11:33 AM

Shromp Rule #

Couples who wear matching clothes will receive unfavorable reincarnations

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Wednesday at 4:25 PM

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Wednesday at 11:17 AM

Hanging out with women and they try something on at a store so that one is forced to repeat "It's giving..." followed by a random noun, verb, celebrity, visual aesthetic, book genre, mineral, time period, etc. until they deem your answer satisfactory

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Wednesday at 8:12 AM

Walked into a restaurant that I'd been curious about for a while only to find out it's way more expensive than I thought

I can sense the waitress judging me for being an out of place brokie

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Wednesday at 7:42 AM

Reverse 1999 designs so good they almost manipulated me into installing a gacha game

Not today Mammon

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Wednesday at 1:20 AM

I hope time isn't linear because I want to be reincarnated as a Steppe Nomad robbing fools on the Silk Road

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Tuesday at 12:00 PM

If I ever had shrimp babies, they'd have to be with a woman whose ethnicity is almost comically different from mine. I aim to create a never-before-seen ethnicity

• 

  JayMark

• Tuesday at 6:56 AM

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Tuesday at 6:35 AM

I remember the time I got into a protracted online fight with a Mushoku Tensei pfp about whether or not Witch Hat Atelier was woke bullshit

Little did he know I hadn't read either series

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Monday at 2:09 PM

If I somehow got dummy rich and started driving a Rolls Royce and some brokie in a corolla rear-ended me, shit I don't think I'd even charge him for the repairs. In fact, I couldn't do that to him

I just have that much compassion for the working class, you see

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Monday at 11:30 AM

My xitter algorithm is currently a fan of showing me xeets of people spouting straight up bullshit as scientific/historical fact.

Just today, I saw someone proclaim that Jesus just... didn't exist. This was an artist who posts their paintings online, and I'm sure those paintings are very lovely, but how could a painter be so confident as to go against the consensus of real historians?

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Monday at 4:37 AM

Shromp Rule #

capitalism is cringe

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Monday at 3:45 AM

When Jesus came back from the dead, one of the first things he said was like, "peace be upon you"

so like, may peace be upon you this easter even though it's already monday here

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Sunday at 3:03 PM

Cricumcisions have really come a long way technologically since when I was a kid

• 

  ShrimpShady

• Sunday at 8:21 AM

Would've loved to be in that room when they discovered Stalin's body. idk must've been crazy lmao