Anyone else struggle to write romance

[Ytiamy]

Now I'd like to ask this question. Of the people who are struggling to write romance, how many of you have never experienced romance? I'm going to go ahead and raise my hand. ✋️

I did experience the "so-called" romance in real life, but it never gave me butterflies. Honestly? After coming home from dates with my ex, I'd imagine romance with them afterward. That made me feel something. But when I was actually with them? Nothing.

Now that I'm writing romance, I don't feel it at all. It's like my earlier imagination drained all the romanticism out of my real life. And now there's nothing left for the page either.

 

[SoullessDiaz]

I have been told I know how to write steamy romance scenes, with good description of the emotions.

Idk how to add romance to my stories lol.

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Kinda.

That's why I wanted to challenge myself in the romance genre and I did it. Wrote a GL about Modern Greek Mythology

 

[LutherinTaralom]

So, I had a bit of a realization today while writing.

I’m just not a good romance writer. When I read back through my novels, I couldn’t feel the love in the air at all.

That sent me down some internal rabbit holes, and I figured something out: I don’t think I actually like men...or at least, the idea of romance with men. And no, that doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian. I’m a straight woman, and I’ve got nothing against guys.

But I honestly cannot picture romance scenes in my head with anyone. The moment I try, I lose all interest and motivation. I end up slapping some generic fluff on the page just to move on. Maybe it’s trauma response, maybe something else. I’m still unpacking it.

So my question for you all: has anyone else run into this kind of block? If yes, how do you work through it? If no, I’d still love any advice you’ve got.

To be fair, I've been treated like shit with every guy I've been with. So when I write my romance, I write the way I'd want to be romanced if I ever got the chance to finally find someone that was amazing anyway.

 

[Worthy39]

What I've learned from this thread is that I need a crappy romance to learn how to effectively write good romance.

 

[SoullessDiaz]

What I've learned from this thread is that I need a crappy romance to learn how to effectively write good romance.

It kind of helps, lol. I once had a friend fanning air with her hand to her face with a scene, and I used my own experiences for it.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

What I've learned from this thread is that I need a crappy romance to learn how to effectively write good romance.

Not required but helpful. Probably moreso than a successful, happy one, but both can be useful learning experiences.

 

[Ytiamy]

To be fair, I've been treated like shit with every guy I've been with. So when I write my romance, I write the way I'd want to be romanced if I ever got the chance to finally find someone that was amazing anyway.

Except when I write, I can only think of the ways I have been treated. And how I dealt with it in the past. I have always escaped from difficult situations that involved confrontations with my ex and it shows when I write.

Now I feel like - meh. If you wanna leave, leave. Who am I stop you?

What I've learned from this thread is that I need a crappy romance to learn how to effectively write good romance.

Not if you have a vivid imagination.

Kinda.

That's why I wanted to challenge myself in the romance genre and I did it. It's a GL about Modern Greek Mythology

I am curious. Can you post a link of your work? I'd love to read.

 

[LutherinTaralom]

Except when I write, I can only think of the ways I have been treated. And how I dealt with it in the past. I have always escaped from difficult situations that involved confrontations with my ex and it shows when I write.

Now I feel like - meh. If you wanna leave, leave. Who am I stop you?

Not if you have a vivid imagination.

I am curious. Can you post a link of your work? I'd love to read.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hate to see others suffer like that. Maybe this seems stupid. But when I write, I see my characters as my kids, so I know I want the best for them. Have you tried something like that? I wish there were some other advice I could give. Never give up, though you got this!

 

[Ytiamy]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hate to see others suffer like that. Maybe this seems stupid. But when I write, I see my characters as my kids, so I know I want the best for them. Have you tried something like that? I wish there were some other advice I could give. Never give up, though you got this!

That's interesting. When you say kids, like grown up ones? How would you as a parent be able to imagine a romance scene of your child? I am curious.

And thanks for the encouragement. I am already over it. I am just talking about my past.