I need to review

Dani007

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I need to review the last two or three chapters to check whether the conversations between the characters feel smooth and natural rather than forced.
I would appreciate your help.

 

Wamba2K

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Seems kind of forced. Also your **bold** technique isn't working. It's coming out in the chapters as a bunch of random sentences or words just being framed by asterisks. You can use the text editor in site to select text that you want to have bolded.

Here it is:

Screenshot 2026-03-15 224624.png



Edit: Also chapter six ends with a bunch of Arabic text. I put it in translate and it looks like its a continuation of the story that you forgot to translate...


Here:

Screenshot 2026-03-15 225307.png
 
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FRWriter

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Yep, the author has exposed himself by mistake. It's a translated story. Was already suspicious after two chapters, and then stopped because it just feels weird... now we have confirmation. Also extremely low effort. I see a lot of formatting issues, and some paragraphs are 400-500 words long.
Kinda rude having us review if his translation worked out or not. I feel like more often than not, trying to genuinely help people review their chapters backfires, and I always feel deceived one way or another.

The ** are probably a remnant of whatever translation AI is at work here.

Maybe the author translated his own story, maybe not... since he hid that fact, it's kinda hard to say now.
 
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Sylver

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Yep, the author has exposed himself by mistake. It's a translated story. Was already suspicious after two chapters, and then stopped because it just feels weird... now we have confirmation. Also extremely low effort. I see a lot of formatting issues, and some paragraphs are 400-500 words long.
Kinda rude having us review if his translation worked out or not. I feel like more often than not, trying to genuinely help people review their chapters backfires, and I always feel deceived one way or another.

The ** are probably a remnant of whatever translation AI is at work here.

Maybe the author translated his own story, maybe not... since he hid that fact, it's kinda hard to say now.
Whoa, you suggesting this story is taken from another author without credit? :blob_shock:
 

Eldoria

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Yep, the author has exposed himself by mistake. It's a translated story. Was already suspicious after two chapters, and then stopped because it just feels weird... now we have confirmation. Also extremely low effort. I see a lot of formatting issues, and some paragraphs are 400-500 words long.
Kinda rude having us review if his translation worked out or not. I feel like more often than not, trying to genuinely help people review their chapters backfires, and I always feel deceived one way or another.

The ** are probably a remnant of whatever translation AI is at work here.

Maybe the author translated his own story, maybe not... since he hid that fact, it's kinda hard to say now.
I'll wait for his response for clarification. I've been reviewing his manuscript without prejudice, but I haven't seen any real changes regarding the text or formatting.

And now... I'm surprised that OP is asking for other chapters to be reviewed.

You @Dani007 should appreciate your reviewers' efforts. The reviewers here are quite kind and don't charge anything for their time and thought.
 

Dani007

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Peace be upon you... Yes, I use artificial intelligence to translate my writing, but I always double-check it at least twice. I'm not good at writing in English because I'm not a native speaker, but I can read it. I use my phone to write, and these kinds of mistakes happen because the website keeps translating to Arabic. I copy the translated paragraphs part by part to make sure there aren't any incorrect translations from Arabic to English. Mistakes like these actually happened in the first two chapters, but I corrected them and thought I'd figured out the trick, but it seems my carelessness caused this error. As for my story being plagiarized, people write for profit, while I write only for myself, a story that appeals to me. To prove it's truly my story, I don't really know how to do that because I get rid of the drafts as soon as I finish writing and checking the chapter.Even the plot and character outlines were refined entirely in my head, because this novel I'm writing isn't for profit; it was simply a whim to write a novel that would satisfy me. Therefore, I have no physical proof that the novel is mine, except that you can search for the "original author"—and of course, you won't find him. Thank you for giving me this fair opportunity to explain myself. My carelessness has led to this embarrassing and foolish situation. I apologize to you and to the readers; it feels like a betrayal.Well, even when I wanted to post this comment, this problem occurred: part of the paragraph is in English and part is in Arabic.
Whoa, you suggesting this story is taken from another author without credit? :blob_shock:
Well, that's impossible. I only write novels that appeal to my taste in this genre... And also, would any author agree to have their novel published by someone else so they can profit from their effort without contributing? Even if their name is mentioned... As for my novel, I don't know. Perhaps you could search for a summary or description of the story on an AI that would tell you if this novel is plagiarized or not... I honestly don't know how you can be sure of that, but I'll just tell you that it's not plagiarized, that's all.
Yep, the author has exposed himself by mistake. It's a translated story. Was already suspicious after two chapters, and then stopped because it just feels weird... now we have confirmation. Also extremely low effort. I see a lot of formatting issues, and some paragraphs are 400-500 words long.
Kinda rude having us review if his translation worked out or not. I feel like more often than not, trying to genuinely help people review their chapters backfires, and I always feel deceived one way or another.

The ** are probably a remnant of whatever translation AI is at work here.

Maybe the author translated his own story, maybe not... since he hid that fact, it's kinda hard to say now.
Well, I wasn't really trying to hide anything... but I didn't know I should mention that it's being translated from my native language into English, and that doesn't violate the site's rules as far as I know... Yes, I'd be lying if I said I put any real effort into the translation. I relied on AI to translate my chapters, just with a superficial check to make sure it didn't change or distort anything I wrote... Well, I'm embarrassed to say that the 500-character paragraph was mine... When I asked the AI to translate the chapter into English, it practically begged me to break the paragraphs into just a few lines, but I refused, haha, until Rudy told me about it... You're a French writer. Do you have any thoughts on translating from your native language into English?
Yep, the author has exposed himself by mistake. It's a translated story. Was already suspicious after two chapters, and then stopped because it just feels weird... now we have confirmation. Also extremely low effort. I see a lot of formatting issues, and some paragraphs are 400-500 words long.
Kinda rude having us review if his translation worked out or not. I feel like more often than not, trying to genuinely help people review their chapters backfires, and I always feel deceived one way or another.

The ** are probably a remnant of whatever translation AI is at work here.

Maybe the author translated his own story, maybe not... since he hid that fact, it's kinda hard to say now.
I also sincerely apologize for this mistake. My carelessness in proofreading the chapters was a betrayal of an honest person who genuinely tried to help. We will not repeat this mistake, God willing.
Seems kind of forced. Also your **bold** technique isn't working. It's coming out in the chapters as a bunch of random sentences or words just being framed by asterisks. You can use the text editor in site to select text that you want to have bolded.

Here it is:

View attachment 47551


Edit: Also chapter six ends with a bunch of Arabic text. I put it in translate and it looks like its a continuation of the story that you forgot to translate...


Here:

View attachment 47554
Seems kind of forced. Also your **bold** technique isn't working. It's coming out in the chapters as a bunch of random sentences or words just being framed by asterisks. You can use the text editor in site to select text that you want to have bolded.

Here it is:

View attachment 47551


Edit: Also chapter six ends with a bunch of Arabic text. I put it in translate and it looks like its a continuation of the story that you forgot to translate...


Here:

View attachment 47554
Thank you so much for your advice... I truly didn't expect such a glaring error... I immersed myself in reading the Arabic content after the English translation to ensure it hadn't been distorted, but I neglected to reread the English content more thoroughly. I apologize for this embarrassing situation. As for the writing, I don't use the site... We won't repeat this mistake, God willing.
 
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Eldoria

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You need to back up your claims. At the very least, revise your previous chapters and consider the feedback you've received. Don't be lazy about editing. Writing fiction isn't a one-time endeavor. Make your work readable, even for casual readers.

I won't touch your manuscript again until you prove your honesty and sincerity in learning to write fiction.

Regards.
 

Dani007

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عليك أن تدعم ادعاءاتك بدلالة. على الأقل، راجع فصولك السابقة وخذ بعين الاعتبار المذكرة التي تلقيتها. لا تتهاون في التحرير. كتابة القصص الخيالية ليست مهمة تُنجز لمرة واحدة. اجعل عملك سهل القراءة، حتى للقراء العاديين.

لن تلمس خطوطك مرة أخرى حتى تثبت أمانتك وإخلاصك في كتابة القصص الخيالية.

لا.

You need to back up your claims. At the very least, revise your previous chapters and consider the feedback you've received. Don't be lazy about editing. Writing fiction isn't a one-time endeavor. Make your work readable, even for casual readers.

I won't touch your manuscript again until you prove your honesty and sincerity in learning to write fiction.

Regards.
You're asking for proof that my story isn't plagiarized, yet you haven't asked the person who claimed it was? If he told you that 1+1=3, would you believe him too?
 

Eldoria

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You're asking for proof that my story isn't plagiarized, yet you haven't asked the person who claimed it was? If he told you that 1+1=3, would you believe him too?
It's hard to prove who's right or wrong based solely on individual opinions.

Well, let's say I believe you. But do you have any intention of seriously learning to write fiction?

If the formatting is still a mess, how can I care anymore after you ignore the feedback you receive?!

I just want you to be serious about your work instead of trying to justify yourself.

Prove it with your work! Improve your manuscript!
 

Dani007

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Is this really a matter of right and wrong? You didn't ask the accuser for any evidence. As a site administrator, I have a duty to be fair in proving that my story is plagiarized. Regarding improvement, why would I bother asking people to review the chapters to improve my writing? If it were plagiarized, why would I bother asking people to scrutinize the characters' dialogue? As for the lack of improvement, didn't I ask for some advice two or three days ago? I already received several suggestions from you, such as combining the first two chapters, shortening paragraphs, and showing a more human side to the protagonist, among other things. Didn't I already do that? I didn't number the chapters as you requested because I didn't understand how it worked, and I was actually going to ask you: Do the rules prohibit using AI translation? Do the rules state that anyone suspected of plagiarism should be banned, even without concrete evidence?How can I improve my manuscript when I am subjected to this unfair treatment just because a new author has barely been around for a week and his account is being banned?
 

Eldoria

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(Sigh) You don't have to worry about how your work will be judged.

In fact, readers have their own perceptions. You can't control their minds.

As long as you don't cheat, why you worry? Account banned?! You can contact the administrator through contact us.

Keep it simple! Don't complicate it!

We're here for one hobby: writing fiction.
 

Dani007

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(Sigh) You don't have to worry about how your work will be judged.

In fact, readers have their own perceptions. You can't control their minds.

As long as you don't cheat, why you worry? Account banned?! You can contact the administrator through contact us.

Keep it simple! Don't complicate it!

We're here for one hobby: writing fiction.
You're the one who blocked me after taking on the roles of lawyer, judge, and jury, and then you make it seem so simple... Why do I feel like I'm talking to an AI that doesn't even know where I went wrong? ... And I also don't know where the "Contact Us" option is...
 

Akkizakura

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You're the one who blocked me after taking on the roles of lawyer, judge, and jury, and then you make it seem so simple... Why do I feel like I'm talking to an AI that doesn't even know where I went wrong? ... And I also don't know where the "Contact Us" option is...
My brother in Egypt (peace be upon you), the internet is dead. Everyone you see is AI. It's been like that since Covid-19.

The only human here is the site administrator Tony. You can contact Tony here.

 

Eldoria

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You're the one who blocked me after taking on the roles of lawyer, judge, and jury, and then you make it seem so simple... Why do I feel like I'm talking to an AI that doesn't even know where I went wrong? ... And I also don't know where the "Contact Us" option is...
Dude, I'm just a member here. How did you conclude I'm an admin?! :blob_teary:
 

Dani007

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Dude, I'm just a member here. How did you conclude I'm an admin?! :blob_teary:
I was banned the moment you sentenced me to death... If you weren't involved, then who was? Well, never mind. I just hope the ban is lifted. If it is, I'll find my story undamaged, right? It wasn't deleted, was it? And you also gave me inspiration for a character to add to my story... She'll be so much like you
My brother in Egypt (peace be upon you), the internet is dead. Everyone you see is AI. It's been like that since Covid-19.

The only human here is the site administrator Tony. You can contact Tony here.

May God bless you, I will do that now.
 

Eldoria

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I was banned the moment you sentenced me to death... If you weren't involved, then who was? Well, never mind. I just hope the ban is lifted. If it is, I'll find my story undamaged, right? It wasn't deleted, was it? And you also gave me inspiration for a character to add to my story... She'll be so much like you
(Sigh) So you think I banned you?! Account or fiction? I don't know. You're really good at thinking I have the authority to do it.

I'm guessing if your fiction was banned, it's because your content has a foreign language (Arabic) which violates the site's guidelines (content must be in English).

As a note, original fiction translated into English is not prohibited at SH. However, fiction contains foreign language (not English) is prohibited here. :blob_melt:
 

Dani007

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(Sigh) So you think I banned you?! Account or fiction? I don't know. You're really good at thinking I have the authority to do it.

I'm guessing if your fiction was banned, it's because your content has a foreign language (Arabic) which violates the site's guidelines (content must be in English).

As a note, original fiction translated into English is not prohibited at SH. However, fiction contains foreign language (not English) is prohibited here. :blob_melt:
The chapter was corrected hours before my ban.
 
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