Solved – Thanks for the help [Closed]

[taraco-candy]

Thanks everyone! I'm cosing this thread?

 

[Eldoria]

Also, are there any unwritten rules or common etiquette I should know as a new author?

Posting multiple chapters in RR is strategic, while in SH, it's spam.

 

[L1aei]

Posting multiple chapters in RR is strategic, while in SH, it's spam.

Do you mind elaborating on this a bit more on the reasoning? I wasn't aware.

 

[ElijahRyne]

Hey, I’m new here! Any tips you wish you knew when you first joined Scribble Hub? Also, are there any unwritten rules or common etiquette I should know as a new author?

If you want to get a big active audience, you should update consistently and reach out to readers. The first is obvious, as for the second very few readers interact with stories they read. If you want interaction, it is on you to reach out. Here on the forums are a good place to start. Even then expect ~1/100 views on each chapter to have a person leave a comment or ~1/20 for a heart. However an active comment section brings more comments.

Also, consistent releases is pretty much the only way to grow an audience. Don’t expect many readers at 10-50k words, especially if your release schedule is haphazard.

Finally, enjoy the craft of writing, and don’t write if you don’t enjoy it. While that may conflict with my earlier advice, I think it more accurate as the counter thesis to the earlier thesis. The interaction between the two will, ideally, result in a sublimation of the concept.

Do you mind elaborating on this a bit more on the reasoning? I wasn't aware.

A certain amount of chapter releases, in a story, in a day hits spam filters. I forgot the exact numbe though.

 

[L1aei]

A certain amount of chapter releases, in a story, in a day hits spam filters. I forgot the exact numbe though.

Thank you. I'll keep that in mind.

 

[Eldoria]

Do you mind elaborating on this a bit more on the reasoning? I wasn't aware.

In SH, you need to gain exposure through visibility through chapters released in the latest updates. However, releasing too many chapters in a short period of time can be considered spam by the system.

This is different from RR, where the system identifies authors who release multiple chapters as active. The RR system tends to recommend those fiction to other users.

In RR, you also can't manipulate the visibility of fiction in the latest updates because it only lasts a few seconds or minutes before being buried by other fiction releases.

Therefore, in RR, system recommendations play a greater role in determining engagement with your fiction than the visibility of fiction that readers can directly access in the latest updates.

 

[taraco-candy]

If you want to get a big active audience, you should update consistently and reach out to readers. The first is obvious, as for the second very few readers interact with stories they read. If you want interaction, it is on you to reach out. Here on the forums are a good place to start. Even then expect ~1/100 views on each chapter to have a person leave a comment or ~1/20 for a heart. However an active comment section brings more comments.

Also, consistent releases is pretty much the only way to grow an audience. Don’t expect many readers at 10-50k words, especially if your release schedule is haphazard.

Finally, enjoy the craft of writing, and don’t write if you don’t enjoy it. While that may conflict with my earlier advice, I think it more accurate as the counter thesis to the earlier thesis. The interaction between the two will, ideally, result in a sublimation of the concept.


A certain amount of chapter releases, in a story, in a day hits spam filters. I forgot the exact numbe though.

Thanks! This is super helpful. The stats about comments/hearts make a lot of sense. I’ll work on being more consistent and try to be more active here.

And yeah, enjoying the writing part is important too.
Really appreciate the tips!?

 

[L1aei]

In SH, you need to gain exposure through visibility through chapters released in the latest updates. However, releasing too many chapters in a short period of time can be considered spam by the system.

This is different from RR, where the system identifies authors who release multiple chapters as active. The RR system tends to recommend those fiction to other users.

In RR, you also can't manipulate the visibility of fiction in the latest updates because it only lasts a few seconds or minutes before being buried by other fiction releases.

Therefore, in RR, system recommendations play a greater role in determining engagement with your fiction than the visibility of fiction that readers can directly access in the latest update.

Thank you for that in-depth explanation. It has been a while since I've written anything on RRL, but that does sound refreshing how SH handles it.

 

[taraco-candy]

Posting multiple chapters in RR is strategic, while in SH, it's spam.

Oh wow, I didn’t realize that. Good to know RR and SH handle updates so differently. I’ll be more careful about how often I post on SH. Thanks!

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Hey, I’m new here! Any tips you wish you knew when you first joined Scribble Hub? Also, are there any unwritten rules or common etiquette I should know as a new author?

Not a specific rule here, but yeah, pay attention to your passive and active voices in writing, use of strong verbs, and chapter length.

Recommended word count per chapter is 1k to 2k, and lots of readers prefer 'active' voice in narration.

Tis my mistakes when starting, hence, I'm still editing my novel after finishing 1.2m words, and 400+ chapters. ?

Also...

 

[taraco-candy]

Not a specific rule here, but yeah, pay attention to your passive and active voices in writing, use of strong verbs, and chapter length.

Recommended word count per chapter is 1k to 2k, and lots of readers prefer 'active' voice in narration.

Tis my mistakes when starting, hence, I'm still editing my novel after finishing 1.2m words, and 400+ chapters. ?

Also...
View attachment 43876

Thanks for the super helpful advice!
You’re right — active voice really does make it easier to slip into a story.

I think I’ve been posting on the longer side without realizing it.I really appreciate you telling me?

And by the way, your illustration was amazing — I was genuinely impressed?

Thank you so much‼︎

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Spoiler: A copy paste because you apparently can't search.

While Reading, Put this on a loop:

Spoiler: SpoilerCeption

WHAT IS "PHYSICS" IN FICTION?"



In fiction, we write stories based on reality, to some extent or another. It can follow reality very closely, like in a normal, slice-of-life romance, or it can have magic, super science, or spirits. It can even be really out there, like Flatland, a book about 2-dimensional life, and have very little do to with the laws of reality, as we know it.



However, by definition, every fictional story has FICTIONAL physics, because the book is... duh... fiction. You, the author, have to decide what rules you are keeping, and what rules you are throwing out. This is simple for most since most authors don't change physics much. Less is more, so most stories have a few changes, stated up front, and then the story tries to be "as normal" as possible from there. But maybe YOU are the exception.





I have developed a series of categories that I use for keeping my fictional setting's altered physics properly segregated so it is easier to keep track, thus avoiding emersion-breaking plot holes.





TERMS

Pataphysics - Imaginary Science (What we cannot conceive)

Metaphysics - Memetic Science (What we conceive)

Isophysics - Normal physics, but in the literary sense. (Objective reality)

Hypophysics - Quantum mechanics, but literary. (Subjective Reality)

Infraphysics - Null science (The science of nothing)

Paraphysics - An altered version of Meta, Iso, or Hypo.







EXAMPLES:

Pataphysics - Something completely alien to the human way of thought. This would be your neverborns or eldritch horrors of Lovecraftian origins. By definition, you cannot conceive Pataphysical concepts.



Metaphysics - This is thought. Pure concepts such as emotions, honor, philosophy, etc.

Para-metaphysics - It's where you take normal human thought and give it new rules that couldn't exist. The physical manifestation of thought would be a para-meta concept.



Isophysics - "Normal" physics, but the thing is, does "normal" physics really exist in writing? For example, 20 bad guys shoot SMGs at MC and nobody hits. This is Isophysics. Yes, it is POSSIBLE, but really, did that make sense? So, it isn't "physics", it's isophysics.



Para-Isophysics - You take physics and add new rules. This is most magic systems.



Hypophysics - Quantum mechanics, but again, literary. This gets a little fuzzy because TECHNICALLY, it should only be what is possible, but we don't know what is or isn't possible. On some level of reality, when you get small enough, perception changes reality. The act of observation alters what you observe. So this would be quantum mechanics as we understand it.



Para-Hypophysics - Quantum physics applied to macro objects. Again, this gets fuzzy. I put the line at "How hard is the Magic System/Super Science?" Para-Hypo is more sci-fi than Para-Iso, IMHO. It's more about how much justification you put into your altered physics. How closely do you "observe" your magic system? if you do a lot of hand waving, it's Para-iso. If you are very specific and detailed, chances are it should fall under para-hypo.



Infraphysics - The Science of NULL. This is a difficult concept to handle. It is the literary science of NOTHING. The absolute lowest end of concepts. Where we are dealing with the absence of everything. There might be a complete absence of matter/energy/thought, but even empty space has rules and permanence. So, if you are dealing with REALLY alien concepts about NOTHING, then you are dealing with Infraphysics.



You will note, that there are no Para versions of Pata or Infra physics. Why? Because it already IS as Para as we can get. There are no ALTERNATE versions of Pata or Infra physics because humans cannot even begin to conceptualize what is NORMAL for these versions of physics, much less what an alternate version of them would be.





IN PRACTICE:



Let's start with Isophysics:



You might say, why make up a new term? Just call it physics and be done with it. Why call it isophysics? Well, all isophysics falls under normal physics, but not all normal physics, falls under isophysics. What I mean is that isophysics are the rules of reality you, the author are KEEPING.



There was a new manga I read called Colorless. In this setting, it has most of the normal laws of physics. Buildings have foundations. People need to eat. Electricity works. That sort of this. All that would fall under isophysics. However, in this setting, there is no color, except for color that has been collected and harvested. This collected color has magical properties. So, under normal physics, there is a spectrum of color, but in this universe, there is not. The new and altered properties of color would fall under Para-Isophysics. Para-iso would be any normal laws of physics that you have changed or new laws that you have added. Typically, you would put most "normal" magic under para-iso.





However, if you are sticking with normal physics, but just pushing the boundary, it stays in Isophysics. Whenever you do something possible, but highly improbable, you should stick it under isophysics and keep an eye on it. Yes, luck exists, but if you use luck too much, it starts to move from isophysics to para-isophysics, and readers do not like it when you start making up powers on the fly to save your MC. It's a useful tool to keep track of "Possible, but improbable" events in your story. if you use them too much, you might want to consider going back to the start of the story and establishing that your MC is very lucky, or has a blessing from a leprechaun, or something, so it becomes easier for your reader to suspend disbelief.







Metaphysics:



Metaphysics is anything that deals with concepts. This is the realm of memes. If you can imagine it, it falls under metaphysics. We all know what thought is, so I hope I don't have to clarify that. However, you might want to get whacky with your memetics, so that becomes Para-metaphysics. Typically, that would be your ghosts, your spirits, gods, that sort of thing. If you want magic that is based off summoning spirits and then the spirits do the magic, that's Para-metaphysics. If your magic has personalities, it's Para-meta. So if you are just dealing with "hard" magic, you'd stick with para-iso, but if you are dealing with praying for spells, summoning spirits, that sort of thing, then you are moving into para-meta.



Now the two do bleed from one into the other. This isn't a hard and fast set of rules. Remember, this is to help YOU, the author, keep track of how you are altering your fictional setting and the changes you are making to reality. So, while a summoned spirit would be Para-meta, the magic it casts could fall under para-iso. It's useful to think of it this way, so that when you are considering "What can my MC do?" you don't make the mistake of making a given power a Swiss army knife. LIMITATIONS ARE GOOD.





People like to see MCs challenged and then overcome those challenges. They also don't like "new" powers that just 'happen' when the situation needs it. If you need the MC to get out of trouble, see if he has an already established ability you can twist and use in a devious manner to save his ass, rather than make something new, or if you must, make sure it's at least adjacent to an established exception.





Pataphysics:



I didn't make up the name. Some French guy did. This is the physics of what we cannot think of. If you can imagine it, it's metaphysics. If you can't, it's pataphysics. A good example of pataphysics is a 4-dimensional hypercube. We are three-dimensional. We cannot see in four dimensions, so we cannot truly "conceive" of a hypercube. We can make a 3-dimensional shadow of one, but in the end, we are just seeing its shadow and trying to imagine what it might look like





(Actually, because the back of our eyes is effectively "flat", we are seeing a 2-dimensional image of a three-dimensional shadow, of a four-dimensional object. Funny that.)



This is pataphysics in a nutshell. It is where you cannot conceive of something, but you can observe how such a thing might interact with what you CAN conceive. So if you are trying to write about truly alien concepts, then it falls under pataphysics. Oddly enough, a good chunk of horror stories use pataphysics. Most physics we can understand, but the utterly alien tends to send chills up one's spine. We can understand some guy chanting and casting fireballs. It's hard to understand why someone, with tears of bubbling pitch streaming down their face, would open three of their seven mouths to chant the song that destroys the world.





Both involve chanting, one is a bit more disturbing.



Pataphysics doesn't have to be terrifying, however. Look at Terry Pratchett's The Colour of Magic. Magic has a colour that we cannot see unless you are a magic user yourself. it is the 8th color. This would be Pataphysical. It's just a nice, yet alien touch to the story. I also like the part where he describes an object as being so cold it is ANTI-BOILING the water around it. So if you want to add just a pinch of the alien to your story, consider googling prefixes and suffixes and then take some concepts from your story and just mix and match. See what you can come up with.





Hypophysics:



Hypophysics is another word for quantum physics. Again, it is the physics you are keeping, hence why we use this term instead of quantum physics. Hypophysics is about the rules that govern very small things as well as minute details. When you try to observe very small objects, it gets increasingly difficult the smaller it is. For example, you need a microscope to see single-cell organisms. To go smaller, you might use an electron microscope. However, an electron microscope works by shooting a stream of electrons at an object. There is a limit to how small you can go with this.



Let's say you are trying to look at a single proton. If you used an electron microscope, this would be like trying to find out what color a beach ball is in a totally dark room by firing a stream of billard balls at it, then observing where the eight-ball bounced off to. This is what they mean when they say that the act of observing an object changes the object.





On a quantum level, perception changes the object you are looking at. If you took a stream of photons, trying to detect packets of energy, you will find packets of energy. if you switch to detecting for waves instead of particles, you will CHANGE the particles into waves. So if you have a stream of light that you split into two, and you start detecting for particles on one, and waves on the other, you will get 50% and 50% each. However, if you put a detector that detects only waves before the splitter, it will change the beam into 100% waves and you will stop detecting particles.



What's strange, is that this can work in reverse, changing the photons retroactively one way or the other.



All sorts of strangeness occurs with quantum mechanics. Teleportation, tunneling, entanglement, and some REALLY strange stuff that seems to break the speed of light and conservation of matter and energy. However, it has limits. You can't walk through walls. You can't teleport a person.



But what if you COULD?



That's where Para-hypophysics comes in. If you are dealing with super-science instead of straight-up magic, then chances are you are dealing with para-hypophysics. When you want to break the speed of light, you might turn your MC into a macro-tachyon. You know what a sonic boom is, right? What if you want to break the light barrier? Would that be a "Luminal Boom"? What the hell would that even look like?



Para-hypophysics is like a scalpel, whereas Para-iso is more of a sledgehammer. The "science" of Star Trek is mostly straight-up magic when you think about it, but the writers (used to) put in a lot of effort to TRY and connect it to real-world physics. There is no reason you cannot mix and match. You see, while I'm mostly splitting it up by Fantasy being para-iso and Super Science being para-hypo, it's not quite that simple.



Para-hypo is more about how perception alters reality, and Para-iso is more about altered objective reality. A wizard just says, "By my will be done" and casts his spell. The scientist needs to justify what he is doing. He has to perceive how the magic works. He needs a full framework in his mind of all the steps. So a "hard" magic system would fall under Para-hypo, because you are getting down into the nitty gritty. Most very complex magic systems in a LitRPG would technically fall under para-hypo.



If you do a lot of hand-waving, or magic isn't that central to your story, you can keep most of it in Para-iso. However, if you plan on getting down into the details of how the system works, you are "Observing" it in great detail, then it's Para-hypo. Note, that this isn't a hard limit here. Again, these are just ways of keeping concepts subdivided so it is easier to keep track of how your setting works.





Infraphysics:



Finally, we get to the strangest of the categories. The physics of nothing. What is nothing? And I mean, Null, Not Zero, because zero is a number and therefore exists. I'm talking about Nul, where you don't even have a ZERO. What is empty space? Is the void actually something? If you had a box with a true vacuum in it, and no light or any form of radiation or bosons of any sort passed through, and you brought it down to absolute zero inside the box, is anything there?



Oddly enough, yes. If you could take something down to true absolute zero, the universe would force the temperature back up via virtual particles, thus creating energy. If you could keep harvesting it, you could achieve what is called, zero-point energy. Which is basically taking reality and dividing by zero and somehow getting a result.





Alas, since the conservation of matter and energy exists, you don't get it for free. What you are doing is converting reality into energy. Imagine that the world was on a grid, like most video games. You have to place things on the grid, or objects snap to the grid for placement. Zero Point energy would be like burning the grid ITSELF for fuel. In other words, using the very fabric of the universe for kindling. On paper, it sounds nice. I bet there would be some problems if we actually pulled it off.



If you are dealing with concepts like this, you are dealing with infraphysics. But it would also cover the use of "null" in general. Another example would be how you view magic working. In Forgotten Realms, magic works because of "The Weave", but the goddess Shar noticed that the weave left gaps. The weave casts a "shadow" between the threads of the weave. So the goddess of night used this "shadow weave" to set up an alternate power source for magic that allowed her to get around the goddess of magic's stranglehold on magic.



Perhaps you view magic as gathering mana and then releasing it. An alternate method might be to "dig a hole" in reality. To create a "mana vacuum" that then, due to thermodynamics, causes mana to flow into the "negative space", and thus a way of using the mana around you without "gathering" it. So if normal magic users gather magic into themselves and then use that to cast magic, this "vacuum magic" would be more about clawing a hole in reality, than stealing mana from sources around you to "fill up" the hole.



Infraphysics is a hard concept to tackle. It's the exact opposite of Pataphysics. At least pataphysics allows you to infer what you cannot conceive by observing how the inconceivable interacts with the conceivable. With infraphysics, you literally have NOTHING TO WORK WITH. It is more of "the edge of the map" than a concept that you would use for organizing the laws of your fictional setting, but if you are the sort who likes to play around with "Things Man Was Never Ment To Know", then this category is definately somewhere on your "To Do" list for things to play with.


CONCLUSION:



Think of these categories as just the way to order things so that when you are considering adding in a new power, or exception to the laws of physics, you can properly compare it to the other exceptions you have already added and say to yourself, "Does this add anything to the story, or is there a better way to do this? Have I changed too much, or does this fit in with what I'm doing?



For example, if your story is a romance where the magic system revolves around summoning sexy nymphs and fluttering faeries to cast spells and do magic, it wouldn't make much sense to have the Villain use laser blasters and robots. Now summoning spirits to shoot lightning bolts, or binding them into corpses to create an undead army, that fits much better.

-------------------------------------

HOW LONG TO WRITE A CHAPTER.

I spend up to twelve hours thinking about a chapter, then slam it out in an hour. There are many steps to writing. Planning is part of writing.

Editing is the part that takes the most time. Learn how to be your own editor.

-------------------------------------

What About the first chapter?

1) The first sentence is what grabs my attention to read the first paragraph.
2) The first paragraph is what sells the first chapter.
3) The first chapter gives me a question that the reader should be curious about and your book should be the only way to answer that question.

I have a pattern.

Single Line at the start of the chapter to be a zinger.

Then I have a little exposition at the start of most chapters.

A paragraph explaining the setup.
Paragraphs are broken up by topic.
Occasionally a one-liner where I hit the reader with a single idea.




I will sometimes put something all by itself after many carriage returns to make it ESPECIALLY stand out.


Then, finally, I try to have a final zinger line to end the chapter on.



It's cheap psychological manipulation, but it works.

How about an example?

Spoiler: original

Author Note: This is my first time writing a novel, so bear with me now.



"Keugh... is this.. how I leave this world?" He coughs blood, and after a slight pause he laughs and smiles. "Oh well, whatever all I can do now is hope."

My life was full of stupid shit honestly, I never spent my time well.. if I could I wish I could go to a different world like Murim with some system, man, I should've stopped reading those weird novels, but whatever honestly, in the end, it's the survival of the fittest, even in this so-called "comfortable" world. All I hope now is that I at least don't go to hell, or get reborn, since me going to Heaven is the equivalent of letting a crazy murderer not go to jail while being caught.

"G-goodbye you shitty world." he tries to yell out loud while on the concrete ground, but only to output a barely audible voice with a lot of people looking down at him in worry, with sirens in the background.

Suddenly, he wakes up on a bunch of leaves and some grass, with rays of sun on his face. Still not comprehending what has happened, he looks around to see many tall trees with lots of leaves on them. He then feels a different type of clothing on his body, he sees himself wearing a red and black Hanfu. (I believe a Hanfu is the things people wear in wuxia or murim please tell me what the name is of what they wear.) When he tries to look around he notices his long hair going all the way down to his upper back. Upon noticing all of these details, he begins to check if he still has his manhood.

"Oh... thank god, I'm still a man." He redirects his attention back to his surroundings. "So where am I? By the looks of it it seems like I'm in a different universe?" He begins to remember the life he's lived giving him a irritated expression on his face. "AGH! Whatever, I just need to be better then last time, this time I will try to actually do something with my life."

And then out of nowhere a blue square appears right in front of him, not bounded by gravity or the laws of physics.

[Initializing...]

After looking in confusion for a little bit, a light begins to pop up in his head, causing him to grin a little bit at the realization of what has just appeared right in front him.

"My god, haha... is that a fucking system!? Please let it be a system and not just me being crazy." At those words the blue square begins to show numbers indicating the percentage of something.

[Initializing... 4% 7% 13% 25% 43% 77% 99%]

"What the hell, I'm not hallucinating? It really is a system!"

[Initializing... 100% Congratulations, Thank You For Playing Our Game!"

Spoiler: My offered rewrite

"Keugh... is this.. how I leave this world?"



Melvin was dying. he held his hand to his mouth as he coughed and pulled his cupped hand away to look at it. The odd mix of blood and mucus actually distracted him from the sucking chest wound for a few seconds. For just a moment, he forgot there was a small bullet hole in his back and the frickin Holand Tunnel out the front.

He fell to his knees, not quite sure who shot him in the back. Given the time of day, it was most likely anyone who knew his schedule. That meant this assassination was a betrayal, "Oh well, whatever all I can do now is hope."

The funny thing was, he had just realized he was doing things wrong. His whole life he'd be a bastard. He'd only thought about number one. He justified it with how life had treated him. His father was a working stiff who never got anywhere. Mom always bitched at dad and only thought about how much happier she could have been if she had only married Jack back in college.

Melvin spent most of his childhood getting the crap beat out of him, so as soon as he had his chance to get ahead, he took it. He had learned nobody cares, so he cared about no one. He was a very good liar and got ahead by backstabbing, betraying, and never ever showing mercy.


One day, that changed.


He realized everything he did was to get back at the people who beat the crap out of him. Everyone he hurt, was just an attempt to make things "right" to make things fair. But one day he realized something. He was just evil.

It started small. he couldn't do his job. He couldn't focus. he started trying to stop, get out. Nothing made him happy anymore so he just stopped doing drugs, stopped having sex, and stopped doing everything. He finally made up his mind. He was going to quit.

Unfortunately, his partners figured it out first.

Now he was face first on the sidewalk, people screaming, people running. He doubted anyone would catch the bastard who killed him, nor would anyone care. He just stared at the growing pool of blood under himself as he thought, ~Honestly, I really was going to try and fix things.~ He closed his eyes, ~Ah well, at least there's a special place in Hell for someone like me.~

Now, compare these two What is the QUESTION?
The original: What is this guy going to do?
My Rewrite: Is this guy going to make good on turning over a new leaf?

Which question is more compelling? Which one is more likely to get you to read to the end of the book to find out?

People like a question that goes somewhere and isn't open-ended. Keep that in mind.

-----------------------------------

On Dialogue

"When having a conversation I have words inside quotations and get rid of the word 'said' whenever possible." Eldritch had discovered that people are smart enough to figure it out for themselves, "You just need a comma and some quotes to get people to know who is talking. The important part is to start a new chapter whenever the speaking subject changes.

My imagination interrupted, "This would be an example of that." It looked around and wiggled its tendrils, "Actions can be done by anyone and rolled into the paragraph." Eldritch nodded as my Imagination continued, "As long as who is talking inside the quotes remains the same."

"So Expositions should be all at the start of the chapter, with maybe a small wrap-up at the end, but if you get in the habit of having conversations like this, you can group things up in a way that is easier on the reader's eyes. It knows where one speaker ends and another begins. In fact, if you keep up the pattern, you won't even need to point out who is talking, the reader will figure it out by style of speech, or the fact only two people are talking."

However, there is a problem...

How to have the conversation sound... different.

Step 1: JUST WRITE THE CONVERSATION. Alternate between who is talking keeping the words spoken seperated

A: You suck
B: no you suck
A: You really suck
C: you both suck.
A & B in unison: Go Away, C. Nobody likes you.

Step 2: Sprinkle in what actions they do while talking. Give each one a signature action. Write it out as a Spread sheet.

WHEN: Angry, Sad, Happy, Emotionless, Fear, Awe, Scare, Hopeless, Frustrated, Hopeful

Like: Angry: Gestures Wildly
Happy: Smiles
Scared: His eyes go wide

Blah Blah Blah. but make sure you use the same 'action' for the emotion EVERY TIME so the reader can pick up on it. Just me, they'll figure it out if YOU are consistent.

THEN...

GO TO CHAT GPT

Take your dialogue and feed it in to the machine by saying:

REPHRASE THE FOLLOWING DIALOGUE AS IF A [Blank] WAS SPEAKING.

Keep it simple. No more than 3 words.

Spoiler: ORIGNAL

Jacob lowered his head to look at the floor, "I dunno why I tried so hard to save him. Matter of pride I guess. Didn't want anyone accusing me of slacking. But... nothing I could do. I didn't even know what to do." He looked up and around, "This is right before NanaMed, by the way." He turned back tot he Professor, "Crazy thing. Right before he died he grabs me and says, 'Thanks for trying. It's acceptable. I am glad I got to meet a human."

He scratched the back of his neck, "It boggled me. No idea what the fuck that meant. Then I looked into it and it turns out one of the races who's asses we kicked had done the same thing to the Icconians." He looked around the room, "The first time it occurred to me that you guys weren't all on the same team. Maybe blaming all of you for my shitty life wasn't the smart way to go." He shrugged, "So when I got out of the army, I quit being an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Sorry. You mightn't know what that is."

"Anti-xenos" He explained, "Spelled AX. It's something you use on earth to chop things up. So people who actively hate all aliens called themselves Axers." He shrugged, "Anyways. Fast forward to last year. I was looking into school that taught xenobiology so I could be a better medic and learned about this place. I signed up and..." He shrugged, "I got accepted." He snapped his finger, "But, I'm broke. So... I ran a go fund me." He looked around, "Uh, basically a way to beg for money from strangers." He shrugged, "Anyways. it wasn't getting much money, but... it did get noticed by some former axers I knew."

Jacob looked up at the professor, "So I was working at a local clinic. I had gotten out of the army by then and this guy walks up to me and asks me my name and I knew something was up." He gestured to his armpit, "Now, former military is allowed to conceal carry weapons. It's a perk. I think he was expecting me to be unarmed." He make his hand into a gun shape, "He shot three times, hit me twice, and I had a Watt Pistol." Jacob 'fired' his hand, "Got him between the eyes and that's all she wrote."

He shrugged, "Next thing you know, the government is using this as Anti-Axer propaganda. Everyone on the planet learned about the shooting and money comes flowing into the go fund me and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I am. A strange, bumpy, and crazy road to get here, but I'm here."

Spoiler: Old West Cowboy

Jacob tilted his hat down, eyes on the ground. "Can't rightly say why I put in so much effort tryin' to save him. Reckon it was just pride, not wantin' folks thinkin' I was some kind of slacker. But... nothin' I could do. Didn't have the first clue what I was doin'." He lifted his gaze, lookin' around. "This was just before NanaMed, if you’re wonderin'." Turned back to the Professor, "Crazy thing though, right before he bit the dust, he grabs me and says, 'Thanks for tryin'. It's fine. Glad I got to meet a human.'"

He rubbed the back of his neck, "That one had me scratchin' my head. Didn't have a clue what in tarnation he meant. So I looked into it, turns out one of them races we thrashed had done the same thing to the Icconians." His eyes drifted around the room, "First time it hit me that y'all weren't ridin' for the same brand. Maybe blamin' y'all for my rotten luck wasn't the brightest idea." He shrugged, "So, when I got outta the army, I quit bein' an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Oh, sorry, guess you might not know what that is."

"Anti-xenos," he explained, "spelled AX. It's like somethin' you'd use back home to chop wood. So folks who hated all aliens called themselves Axers." He shrugged again, "Anyhow, fast forward to last year. I was searchin' for a school teachin' xenobiology so I could patch folks up better, stumbled across this place. Threw my hat in the ring and..." He shrugged, "got accepted." He snapped his finger again, "But, I was dead broke. So... I set up a go fund me." He glanced around, "Uh, that’s just a fancy way of beggin' folks for money." Another shrug, "It wasn’t pullin' in much cash, but... it did catch the eye of some old Axer buddies."

Jacob looked up at the professor, "So there I was, workin' at a local clinic, already out of the army, when this fella strolls up, asks for my name. Knew somethin' was off." He patted his side, "Now, ex-military's got the right to carry concealed. It’s a perk. Guess he figured I’d be unarmed." He shaped his hand like a gun, "Fired three shots, hit me twice, but I had a Watt Pistol." Jacob ‘fired’ his hand, "Put one right between his eyes, and that was the end of that."

He shrugged again, "Next thing I know, the government’s usin' this as Anti-Axer fodder. Everyone and their granny heard about the shootout, and money starts pourin' into the go fund me, and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I am. The road here was as rough as a tumbleweed in a dust storm, but I made it."

Spoiler: 16th century Nobleman

Jacob inclined his head, casting his gaze to the floor. "I know not why I exerted myself so greatly in an effort to save him. Mayhaps it was a matter of honor, for I desired not to be seen as indolent. Yet... there was naught I could do. I lacked the knowledge of how to proceed." He lifted his eyes, glancing about. "This occurred just prior to the advent of NanaMed, I should mention." He then turned to face the Professor, "A most curious thing happened. Just before he succumbed to his wounds, he seized my hand and said, 'I thank you for your efforts. It is well. I am grateful to have encountered a human.'"

He absently rubbed the back of his neck, "I was perplexed, truly. I could not fathom what he meant by those words. Upon further investigation, I discovered that one of the races we vanquished had inflicted the same upon the Icconians." He looked around the chamber, "It was the first time it dawned upon me that you were not all united under the same banner. Perhaps placing the blame upon you all for the misfortunes in my life was not the wisest course." He gave a slight shrug, "Thus, when I left the army, I abandoned my ways as an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Ah, I apologize. You may not be familiar with the term."

"Anti-xenos," he clarified, "spelled AX. It refers to an implement used on Earth for hewing wood. Those who harbored hatred for all alien beings styled themselves as Axers." He shrugged once more, "Nevertheless, to move the tale forward to the past year. I sought out a place of learning that imparted the study of xenobiology, that I might become a more proficient medic, and thus, I learned of this institution. I applied and..." He gave another shrug, "I was accepted." He snapped his fingers again, "But, alas, I found myself destitute. Thus... I resorted to a go fund me." He cast a glance around, "In essence, it is a manner by which one solicits alms from strangers." He gave yet another shrug, "It did not yield much coin, but... it did attract the attention of some former Axers of my acquaintance."

Jacob lifted his gaze to the professor, "So, there I was, laboring at a local infirmary, having already left the army, when a man approached me, inquiring as to my name. I sensed immediately that something was amiss." He gestured towards his side, "Now, veterans are granted the privilege of carrying concealed weapons. It is a benefit. I suspect he expected me to be unarmed." He mimed a pistol with his hand, "He discharged his weapon thrice, striking me twice, yet I bore a Watt Pistol." Jacob mimicked firing the pistol, "I struck him between the eyes, and thus ended the matter."

He shrugged yet again, "Before long, the government seized upon this incident as fodder for Anti-Axer rhetoric. Word of the shooting spread throughout the land, and soon, funds poured into the go fund me, and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I stand. The path that brought me hither was most strange, tumultuous, and unpredictable, yet I have arrived."

Spoiler: Fantasy Saloon Barkeep

Jacob lowered his head, staring at the floor as he spoke. "Ain't rightly sure why I put so much effort into saving him," he muttered. "Pride, maybe. Didn’t want folks thinkin’ I was slackin’. But… there weren’t nothin’ I could do. Didn’t even know where to start.” He glanced up and around the room, adding, “This was right before NanaMed, mind ye.” Turning back to the professor, he continued, “Funny thing, though. Just before he passed, he grabs hold of me and says, ‘Thanks for tryin’. It’s acceptable. Glad I got to meet a human.’”

Jacob scratched the back of his neck, a puzzled look crossing his face. “That threw me for a loop. Didn’t have the slightest idea what he meant. Later on, I dug into it and found out that one of the races we’d whooped had done the same to the Icconians.” He cast a glance around the room, “First time it hit me that y’all weren’t on the same side. Maybe blamin’ all of you for my own miserable life wasn’t the wisest course.” He shrugged, “So when I left the army, I gave up bein’ an Axer.” He snapped his fingers as if to jog a memory, “Oh, sorry. Might be you don’t know what that is.”

“Anti-xenos,” he explained, “Spelled AX. It’s somethin’ you use on earth to chop things up. So, folks who hated all aliens started callin’ themselves Axers.” He shrugged again, “Anyways, fast forward to last year. I started lookin’ into schools that taught xenobiology so I could be a better medic and came across this place. Signed up and…” He shrugged, “Got accepted.” Another snap of his fingers, “But I’m broke. So… I ran one of them go fund me deals.” He looked around sheepishly, “Uh, that’s just a way to beg money off strangers.” He shrugged once more, “Didn’t bring in much, but… it caught the eye of some old Axer pals of mine.”

Jacob looked the professor in the eye, “So there I was, workin’ at a local clinic. I’d already left the army by then, and this fella walks up, asks me my name, and I knew somethin’ was up.” He gestured towards his armpit, “Now, folks who’ve served in the military get to carry concealed weapons. It’s a perk. I reckon he thought I’d be unarmed.” He shaped his hand like a gun, “He fires three shots, hits me twice, but I had a Watt Pistol on me.” He mimed firing his hand, “Put one right between his eyes, and that was the end of that.”

He shrugged once more, “Next thing I know, the government’s usin’ this whole mess as Anti-Axer propaganda. Suddenly, everyone on the planet knew about the shootin’, and money started pourin’ into that go fund me.” He spread his hands wide, “And here I am. A strange, bumpy, and downright crazy road to get here, but here I am.”

As you can see, it needs a lot of work, but you can look at it and keep only a few bits and bobs and then rework it until it fits what you want. If you keep the three words for the Each Character the same and consistantly use ChatGPT to "flavor" the text, it will still be your writing, but it will be as if you uses a thesaurus.

It just speeds things up.

DON'T let ChatGPT write the dialogue. It SUCKS and making shit up.


------------------------------------------------------

HOW TO BE YOUR OWN EDITOR

1. Write the chapter yourself.

2. Run it through a simple spell checker like Word.

3. Go to ChatGPT and type "Rephrase The Following Paragraph" Take one paragraph of at least 3 sentences and save it in a separate file. Feed that paragraph to ChatGPT. Copy the resulting paragraph to a separate file. Make a hybrid paragraph of the best of both.

4. Repeat step 3 until you have done every paragraph.

5. Turn on Grammerly. Just use the spell-checking feature. Screw the suggestions.

6. Go through your chapter to search for the following words:
Suddenly
Very/really
Started
Just
Somewhat/slightly
Somehow
Seem(s)
Definitely
If you see any of these words, reconsider them. Usually, these words are misused. If someone is speaking, no problem, but outside of the conversation, they usually are a bad sign.

7. If any sections don't feel right use the following at random:
prowritingaid.com/rephrase
sudowrite.com/app
writesonic.com/
But they do not allow unlimited use, so just use these occasionally to get a different perspective on how you phrased something.

8. Put it through Text Edit and turn on the text-to-speech feature. Listen to the chapter and fix it as it reads it out loud to you.

9. Go through and check for words that you keep using over and over. Using the same word too often will stand out. Try to have at least three different ways of referring to any main character. Avoid using the same word more than once in any given paragraph, or at least no more than once a page (pronouns/conjunctions not included, obviously). The English language is incredibly diverse, so the more you force yourself to get creative using alternatives, the more interesting your work is.

10. Turn on Grammerly one last time for spell-checking.

-----------------

START AT THE END.

You need to know what the ending of a plotline is, At least the final gut punch you plan for the reader to have. You can have an epilogue afterward, but you need that final scene in your head at least. Just writing because "I have a cool idea." Doesn't work. You need to know the ending.

Most books are three acts.

You need a plot that starts then finishes in Act/Act, in order of importance:
1/3
1/1
3/3
2/2
1/2
2/3

What I mean is you introduce a plot in Act 1, then it ends in Act 3, followed by Act 1 ends in Act 1.

The overall plot, that goes from plot 1 to plot 3 is the most important, but 1/1 is the second most important because it KEEPS THE READER READING.

That means, before you start the story, you need to have 6 endings. I don't care how much you write it out, but you need 6 plots and 6 plot endings. ANYTHING ELSE IS BOTH UNNEEDED AND DANGEROUS. You also need to know how the plot STARTS. So you need 6 beginnings and 6 endings. However, if you work those out ahead of time, everything else is just filler to get the story to move from one key scene to the next.

For example:

1/3: Joe is summoned and he has to defeat the demon lord
1/1: Joe is dropped into a strange situation and needs to adjust.
3/3: Joe will have a setback he needs to overcome
2/2: Joe will go on a training montage.
1/2: Joe will encounter the miniboss and have to overcome them.
2/3: Joe will have a romance subplot where he meets a girl and they fall in love by the end.

So three things begin in the first act, 2 starts in the second, 1 in the last.
There is one conclusion in the first, 2 in the second, then 3 in the ending
(and if you do it well, it all comes together in one scene.)

It's simple, it's formulaic, IT WORKS.

If you do this, you won't "write in the wrong direction" because you know where the ending is. Once you work out those 6 starts and 6 ends, everything else in the book is just connective tissue.


--------------------


If you are having problems making a character Here's my cheat sheet


Name
Race
Apparent Age
Actual Age
Sex
Gender
Height
Weight
Eye Color
Hair Color
Parents (How many, Sex, general Relations)
Place of birth

Current mental Age group: (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Where PC/NPC spent their (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Note Worthy Events of (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Current Socio-Economic Standing (Poor/Lower Class/Middle Class/Upper Class/SuperRich)

Stats: 1-5
Physical: Strength/Dexterity/Stamina
Social: Charisma/Manipulation/Appearance
Mental: Intelligence/Wisdom/Perception

Morality (scale of 1-5)
Good-Evil (Objective Morality)
Right-Wrong (Subjective Morality)
Legal-Crime (Social Morality)
Positive-Negative (Outcome Morality)

I go with the 1-5 scale with occasionally 0 or 5+

Nobody lives in a vacuum. However, everyone rhymes. get in your head the above groups and some stereotypical traits for each.

A guy whose morality is Objective 1, Subjective 1, Social 5, Outcome 1 is the kind of guy who believes in "Good" Outside himself and seeks to internalize it. he thinks society is corrupt, and willing to commit crimes if the outcome is positive.

ie Batman.

Charisma is personality, Manipulation is how controlling you can be, and appearance is how you look.

So your typical otome Villainess is a Chr 1, Manip 4, App 4.

When you get good at it, you can "shorthand" a character with ease

--------------------------

How to self-motivate:

Tell yourself, "NO ONE LOVES YOU! YOU ARE A WASTE OF SKIN! YOU ARE ONLY WORTH SOMETHING WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING! IF YOU AREN'T DOING SOMETHING, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? EVERY MOMENT YOU WASTE NOT DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, A BABY KITTEN DIES! IF YOU ONLY TRIED HARDER, THERE WOULD BE LESS DEAD LOVED ONES IN YOUR LIFE! EVERYONE YOU EVER LOVED THAT DIED IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WORK HARD ENOUGH!"

Then I get back to writing.

---------------------------

On units of measurement:

If you are describing units of measurement, sometimes you want to be vague. Metaphors are usually a good way to go.

The tree was as far from me as I was close to touching a girl's boob.
The events he reminded me of were as far past as the last good Star Wars movie.
His eyes were as far apart from one another as the distance between me and my father.

OR you can go with something to compare it to:

He was closing in on me, a mere two car lengths behind.
She was about half the size of the Statue of Liberty.
In the time it takes me to finish having sex with my wife, the song was over.

If you WANT to be specific, you can, but you need to be careful and consistent. Using actual numbers means the reader will track those numbers, so make sure your math is right.

And If you wanna use metrics in your story, go ahead. It's your story.
But I always use "We put a flag on the fuckin' moon" units.

--------------------------

On How Much You Write:

Brevity is the soul of wit.
When you write anything ask yourself is it World Building, Character Building, Plot Development, or Fluff. YOU DON'T NEED FLUFF. If possible, every line should do two or three things.

Something pounded into my head was, "WHAT CAN YOU CUT OUT OF YOUR STORY?"

Every word you include is a fraction of a second to read. Every fraction adds up. Time is the currency of exchange between an author and a reader. I am asking you for time. I am asking you to SPEND TIME ON ME. So, I go through and I pare it down. Carefully and deliberately ask myself, "What Does This Bring To The Story? Is it redundant? Have I already told this to the reader? Does repeating it serve a purpose? If not, how do I cut it? If it is new, then how can I make it serve a second purpose? Is there a way to have this information have a second meaning? A third meaning? Can I combine it with something else? Will It change when the reader knows the ending and will it be BETTER? Is there a better plot point I can use instead? Can I subvert their expectations and give them something BETTER than they expected and if so, how much can I keep hidden from the reader so they truly can't see it coming, yet will think it was obvious in retrospect?"

Smaller. Tighter. More concentrated. BIG is the enemy. Flowery fluffy filler is a sign of weakness. Hit him hard, let the reader breathe, then hit him again, but short rabbit punches.

I know that quality is what matters, but in the back of my head, I have this Big Is Evil, hang-up. 500k Well Written Words is fine. the 500k isn't the problem.

Except it's a problem.

Part of me wonders, like it or not, is it too much? Then I say, "If it's quality, then it doesn't matter. You can have large quantities of quality. It does happen."

Then I say, "No it doesn't. You arrogant FOOL!"

------------

BEST TIME TO POST CHAPTERS

The best time is subjective, just be consistent.
HOWEVER...

I have anecdotal evidence that the best time is 12:01 am local time so you have the maximum amount of exposure to the algorithm. To get the most amount of "hits", post once every three days for maximum return. But that's just my own systematic testing of the system. Take it with a boulder of salt.

------------------------------------------

ON WRITING FANFICTION

Step 1: STOP. TEARING. YOURSELF. DOWN.

If you start by thinking, "This is going to be crap" then you will succeed in making crap.


Step 2: Become a scholar on the subject.

If you haven't, watch the show. Maybe watch it again. Make a point of watching an episode every day. NON-STOP. Unless you are a freak like me who can remember obscure details from one watching of an episode, they you need to learn the material.

For example, if you said, "What's the name of that computer that accidentally kills a redshirt by hooking up directly to the warp-"
ME: "The M5"

I can't remember the names of my co-workers who I have worked with for 5 years now, but the name of a AI that killed a RedShirt in a ST:tOS episode I watched once when I was 12? THAT'S EASY. So unless you are a freak like me, STUDY YOUR MATERIAL. Which also means that you need to WATCH OTHER VIDEO Essays on the subject. Bad takes. Good Takes. You need as many PoVs as you can get on the material.

You need to LEARN THE CHARACTERS BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL CREATOR.


Step 3: DO NOT SELF INSERT.

Every Author needs to write what they know, and who do you know better than yourself? However, you are new at this. Are you ready for when the readers start to TEAR YOUR SELF-INSERT APART? When they call your Self-Insert a little BITCH, or a sociopath, or a cunt, or systematically explain why the self-insert is a total loser and tear apart every flaw they have and basically vivasect your self-insert alive in front of you, are you going to be able to take that?

I am. I got no problem with that. I love having my flaws exposed and pointed out. It's a great way to grow and improve as a person. I went on a talk show once on Youtube and got RIPPED APART, but you know something? I grew from the experience. It hurt, but I learned something about myself and I became a better man.

How about you, mister, "I'm cutting my own legs out from under myself by assuming my story is going to suck before I even write it"? You gonna grow from having your self-insert's soul shredded before you? I don't think you are up for that.

However, it is okay to use ELEMENTS from your life. Personality quirks, but KEEP IT TO A MINIMUM.


Step 4: Craft your Isekai OC character Well.

A. Read up on isekai.
B. Determine if they will want to stay or strive to return.
C. Do they know the setting and story? How well?
D. What is their weakness? A MC without a weakness to overcome and grow is a lame MC.
E. What is their Strength?

You should give your MC some sort of perk. Something they are GREAT at. Yes, you can make them superstrong, or the best water bender, or they have multiple elements they can control, or they can control... nothing, but they have access to the internet.

ONE. PERK.

Yes, you COULD have them be Superman in A:tLA, but you are new. You do not know what you are doing. ONE PERK ONLY. Make them have to get creative. Maybe the only power they have IS being creative. They are a water bender, but they know how to make Steam, Ice, or Ice-7, which only forms under 30,000 Atmospheres of pressure. or they can break down Water into Hydrogen and Oxygen and make the air flammable.

Whatever it is establish it in the FIRST CHAPTER. your readers will put up with as much BS as you want to shovel in the first chapter as you want. HOWEVER, after that first chapter, you need to make everything a LOGICAL CONCLUSION FROM THAT.

"And THEN". not "Just HAPPENS"
Meaning, A leads to B leads to C leads to D.
Not A HAPPENS. B HAPPENS. C HAPPENS.
Consequences. Cause and effect. One thing causes another.

Step 5: Your OC should never overshadow the IP's original Characters.

Go to my Sig file. Read Hotrod Lantern.

the OC is Ungodly powerful. However, he STILL needed to be saved by the original IP characters. He HELPED them, but in the end, they had dealt with people MUCH more powerful than him in the past, so while he had his moments, he wasn't the top dog.

The main problem you will have is finding ways to make your OC LOSE. How to have him fail. Cost him. You need to kick him in the teeth. You need to make him WORK at it. At least once in your story, ask yourself, WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD LOGICALLY HAPPEN AS A CONSEQUENCE? Then have it happen. Don't hit him with a Meteor. Have his actions come back to bite him. He's sneaking in somewhere? He trips and activates the alarm. Whatever it is, at some point things should go WRONG.

Then have him scramble to fix it.


Step 6: Don't have everyone like him, unless his one perk is he's super likable.

If he knows the story, acting super chummy with the Main Characters will often set off red flags. How does he know how I like my tea? How DOES he know my nickname? What would YOU do if a complete stranger suddenly dropped into your life and knew everything about you and just kept smiling around you all the time?

You'd Freak the fuck out, that's what.

Make him WORK to become friends. Have him fuck up. Have him want to get busy with one of the babes and have her flat out REJECT HIM. BTW, the Subject matter? SEX AND ROMANCE IS RIGHT OUT. Unless you are making THAT sort of fanfic, this type of setting does NOT lend itself well to any sort of relationship, unless it's FRIENDSHIP. You said you wanted to be serious? Well, KEEP IT SERIOUS AND RESPECT THE SETTING.



Step 7: You need a REAL character.

What does this mean? The Reader will swallow anything in the first chapter, after that, he needs to ACT LIKE A REAL HUMAN.

Ryan is the MC of HKN. If you drop him in the middle of Hell, he will crack his neck, sigh, then get to work being a hero. Why? BECAUSE I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I put Ryan through HELL. I spent 20 chapters kicking him in the TEETH. I made him SUFFER. However, that all said. Now? Now it is totally in character for him to just look at any problem or threat, roll up his sleeves, and get to work.

Jack, is a goddamn coward. He acts in his own self interest FIRST. Yes, he does heroic things, reluctantly. Plus, he sucks. He is a REAL person with REAL goals and REAL REACTIONS.

If the MC sees a problem and goes, "No problem". beats up all the bad guys, never acts scared, never worries about anything, constantly makes jokes, and basically acts like nothing matters, then the reader will think nothing matters. Ryan can act like nothing matters, because he is suicidal and wants to DIE. You know his blase attitude stems from his pain. He throws himself into danger because he wants to be reunited with his dead wife. Ryan acts like a blase hero, because he is dead inside and part of his journey is learning to become a Real hero by actually CARING.

See the difference? Ryan is a wise cracking never say die hero because he's insane. You know why he acts the way he does and it's SAD. Occationally the pain leaks out. There are moments the facade cracks.

Don't try and do that. Stick to a NORMAL DUDE in an extraordinary situation.



-------------------------------------------------------------


ON TIME TRAVEL

Establish rules on Time Travel lest you completely fubar your story.

I myself have the omnipresent now, but with enough chronoenergy, you can create limited change in time.

Time is a series of beads on a string. You enter a bead and possibilities expand until you get to halfway through the bead, then possibilities contract until you get to the exit. However, you do not move in a set path, but your path is a series of beads inside a larger bead, inside a larger bead, until you get to a bead that is THE CURRENT UNIVERSE.

To change a bead, you have to obey the conservation of energy. Meaning, you need chronoenergy. Try to change too large a bead, it fails.

Going into the future is easy, but it doesn't matter. To go beyond the Omnipresent Now is just a 'What if' and nothing is set in stone until universal 'Now' catches up. If you run out of energy on your trip, you snap back to NOW.

The energy is used to 'fix paradoxes' For example, you go back in time, kill your own grandpa. You return to the present. If you had enough energy, that's fine. You are still alive. You are now a Neverwere. Maybe you go back in time and convince yourself to be evil. Now you return to the present there are two of you. You are now a Meanwhile.

The conservation of matter and energy is balanced by Chronoenergy. However, there is only so much in my setting. In fact, it's running out. The end of everything is Neigh. There are only a few million years left, and every immortal in existence is fighting over the last remaining scraps of time left.

That way, when readers go, "PARADOX!!! THAT DOESN'T WORK!!!" I go, "He had enough chronoenergy to pay for it." and move on.


------------------------------------


ON THE NATURE OF POWER


Power does NOT corrupt.
Addiction to power corrupts.
If one can avoid addiction to power, power reveals one's true nature.
An evil man with power will be evil, a good man will not.
Alas, dopamine is a hell of a drug.
A good man addicted usually tries to justify his actions by at least lying to himself, an evil man becomes a horror.



-----------------------------------


ON THE NATURE OF SEX APPEAL:

Sex appeal is what attracts character X to the opposite gender.

I know you're going scream, "whut about" and fill in some niche sexual dynamic. You do you, my friend. I'm talking about the generalities here.


Why does it matter?

If you are trying to sell your story, and you are trying to sell your story, you need to appeal to the reader. You are trying to, at the very least, get the reader to spend his or her time on your story. To do this, you should try to make your MC someone that the reader will enjoy reading about. People enjoy reading about sexy people, even if those people never have sex.


So what is sexy?

Here's where I have been finding problems lately and what made me want to post this. For some reason, I'm seeing women being written as being sexy, but they are being written to be sexy to other women (and no, not in a GL story) and guys being written to be sexy to other men, when it's not a BL story. It is almost always a problem of the author not understanding what is sexy. So, Let me explain.


Men generally find the following sexy: Good Looking, Nice Personality, Low Body count

That's about it.

Now, some men might find sexy to be a high body count, but actually, I think you will find that actually, such men are attracted to the PERSONALITY that would produce a high body count, but they would prefer if they caught her really earily so she didn't have a body count yet. Is this universal? No. But it's the basics.

Now, when writing, there is only so much you can do as far as "good looking", because this is text. You basically describe her once, and that's about all you need. We're good after that. Personality is the most important factor. What is important? Actually, that's the hard part. Men like a Wide range of personalities as 'sexy'. Innocent. Violent, mothering, you name it. A good rule of thumb is a guy usually falls in love with his mother.

So how does this help you, the writer?

Pick whatever personality you are going with, and stick to your guns. Actions are what guys look at most, not words. What your MC female does is her personality. Is she loyal? Does she lie? Is she super horny, but only for one guy? Is she pushy except when it matters then lets her BF be in charge? Whatever it is, pick your niche personality and stick to it, because some guys will fall for it, others won't. You can't appeal to everyone.

There is no perfect woman. Just perfect Women.

The phrase, "You are perfect for me." isn't just BS. Guys say that because they do honestly come to believe there is a "perfect woman, for HIM." What is the most popular female type? Damned if I know, but if you figure it out, let me know. All I can suggest is, stick to your guns, whatever personality to give her.


Women are Way more complicated.

You hear that women want the Nice guy, but go after the bad boy. Truth is, it isn't one or the other. They want BOTH. They want the bad boy who IS a nice guy. It's two different metrics. The Bad Boy spectrum is typically based on appearance and masculinity. How tough he is. Is power, dominance, all that dark triad shit.

Women like peaceful men, not harmless men.

A harmless man isn't a threat to anyone. A peaceful man is a threat to everyone, but chooses not to be violent.

Maybe it's evolution, but women love it when they know their guy can and will kick everyone else's ass. Yes, it can be terrifying to know your boyfriend is extremely violent, but if he;s only violent when you are threatened, then hey, it's all good.

On the other spectrum we have the nice guy. This is based on how much the guy gives the girl (either money or time/attention) and how well he cleans up. How presentable he is in public. I knew a guy in college, rather fat, I mean, morbidly fat. However, he was always clean. He had excellent taste in clothes, and he had a lot of money. He also was very confident and rather commanding. He was moderately high on the bad boy scale, but was very high on the nice guy scale.

He had quite a few girlfriends.

Yes, appearance is important, but only on the bad boy scale. On the Nice guy scale, culture, wealth, self-esteem, personalty, nice taste, and a willingness to spend time and money on your partner can get you rather far.

So you wind up with:
Low Nice Low Bad guys being men who every woman ignores.
You have High Bad, low nice, or your average biker that your daughter sleeps with a few times then dumps, then hooks back up with in a few months when she gets bored.
You have your friendzoned fool who is High Nice, low bad. He's someone the girl talks to but will never sleep with.
Then you get high Bad, High Nice who is basically... Prince Charming.

No. Really.

Look at any Otome game. The ML is a Prince or High level Noble with Good Looks. He's usually good with a sword, more than a little dangerous, often very commanding and takes control. He's a bit wild, but "SHE" managed to tame him so that he's A High Value Guy who Is Dangerous but spends all his time/money/attention on one person, the FL.

Of course that doesn't happen in real life. A prince charming these days has so many women throwing themselves at him that he usually has one main girl and a half dozen side pieces, but we're talking about fantasy and wish fufillment.

So how do you make a sexy male lead.

Well, this is often why you see MLs as handsome, socially akward, and secretly powerful. He is a diamond in the rough who just needs the right girl to find him and polish him up. He's either secretly a prince, or he's actually secretly a very powerful magic user, or swordsman, or demon slayer. He's rough around the edges and usually violent, but he keeps it under control around "HER".

This is often why people get annoyed with MLs with harems. They have the violent, the handsome, the masculinity, but they aren't giving all their attention to one ML. Even to other men, they can sense this is a no-no. Yes, some men want to go, "I want lots'o'woman!" but the truth is, we know that isn't "sexy". We know women aren't turned off by the multiple partners, but the fact he isn't giving 100% to one person. There are women willing to put up with it. Often you'll find women who would rather share a "perfect man", over settling for a man who gives them 100% of his attention. 20% of perfect is better than 100% of average.

However, in a story, that doesn't sell.

TL/DR: Physical Attributes, masculinity, culture/how well they clean up, and wealth/time/attention are the four aspects that make a ML sexy to women.

Yes, there are many other factors, but I'm talking about the base factors here.


The problem is when a woman tries to write a woman who is sexy to men, sometimes she writes the woman like she would find a MAN to be sexy. She writes her FL as High on the Bad Girl scale and High on the Nice Girl scale, not knowing that for men, they are the same scale. To women, there are Bad & Nice men, but there are no Bad & Nice girls to men. A bad girl and a nice girl are opposites to most men. You can't be both. When they write both in the same FL, it isn't appealing (unless it's GL, then go for it.)

Conversely, this is often why I find so many MLs written by men to be so god damn shallow. They make them "BAD Boys" or "NICE guys", but they are never a mix of the two, and as such, such MLs are often flat, one dimensional, and frankly, annoying to everyone. They assume it's one or the other, so the character feels... off.

 

[taraco-candy]

Spoiler: A copy paste because you apparently can't search.

While Reading, Put this on a loop:

Spoiler: SpoilerCeption

WHAT IS "PHYSICS" IN FICTION?"



In fiction, we write stories based on reality, to some extent or another. It can follow reality very closely, like in a normal, slice-of-life romance, or it can have magic, super science, or spirits. It can even be really out there, like Flatland, a book about 2-dimensional life, and have very little do to with the laws of reality, as we know it.



However, by definition, every fictional story has FICTIONAL physics, because the book is... duh... fiction. You, the author, have to decide what rules you are keeping, and what rules you are throwing out. This is simple for most since most authors don't change physics much. Less is more, so most stories have a few changes, stated up front, and then the story tries to be "as normal" as possible from there. But maybe YOU are the exception.





I have developed a series of categories that I use for keeping my fictional setting's altered physics properly segregated so it is easier to keep track, thus avoiding emersion-breaking plot holes.





TERMS

Pataphysics - Imaginary Science (What we cannot conceive)

Metaphysics - Memetic Science (What we conceive)

Isophysics - Normal physics, but in the literary sense. (Objective reality)

Hypophysics - Quantum mechanics, but literary. (Subjective Reality)

Infraphysics - Null science (The science of nothing)

Paraphysics - An altered version of Meta, Iso, or Hypo.







EXAMPLES:

Pataphysics - Something completely alien to the human way of thought. This would be your neverborns or eldritch horrors of Lovecraftian origins. By definition, you cannot conceive Pataphysical concepts.



Metaphysics - This is thought. Pure concepts such as emotions, honor, philosophy, etc.

Para-metaphysics - It's where you take normal human thought and give it new rules that couldn't exist. The physical manifestation of thought would be a para-meta concept.



Isophysics - "Normal" physics, but the thing is, does "normal" physics really exist in writing? For example, 20 bad guys shoot SMGs at MC and nobody hits. This is Isophysics. Yes, it is POSSIBLE, but really, did that make sense? So, it isn't "physics", it's isophysics.



Para-Isophysics - You take physics and add new rules. This is most magic systems.



Hypophysics - Quantum mechanics, but again, literary. This gets a little fuzzy because TECHNICALLY, it should only be what is possible, but we don't know what is or isn't possible. On some level of reality, when you get small enough, perception changes reality. The act of observation alters what you observe. So this would be quantum mechanics as we understand it.



Para-Hypophysics - Quantum physics applied to macro objects. Again, this gets fuzzy. I put the line at "How hard is the Magic System/Super Science?" Para-Hypo is more sci-fi than Para-Iso, IMHO. It's more about how much justification you put into your altered physics. How closely do you "observe" your magic system? if you do a lot of hand waving, it's Para-iso. If you are very specific and detailed, chances are it should fall under para-hypo.



Infraphysics - The Science of NULL. This is a difficult concept to handle. It is the literary science of NOTHING. The absolute lowest end of concepts. Where we are dealing with the absence of everything. There might be a complete absence of matter/energy/thought, but even empty space has rules and permanence. So, if you are dealing with REALLY alien concepts about NOTHING, then you are dealing with Infraphysics.



You will note, that there are no Para versions of Pata or Infra physics. Why? Because it already IS as Para as we can get. There are no ALTERNATE versions of Pata or Infra physics because humans cannot even begin to conceptualize what is NORMAL for these versions of physics, much less what an alternate version of them would be.





IN PRACTICE:



Let's start with Isophysics:



You might say, why make up a new term? Just call it physics and be done with it. Why call it isophysics? Well, all isophysics falls under normal physics, but not all normal physics, falls under isophysics. What I mean is that isophysics are the rules of reality you, the author are KEEPING.



There was a new manga I read called Colorless. In this setting, it has most of the normal laws of physics. Buildings have foundations. People need to eat. Electricity works. That sort of this. All that would fall under isophysics. However, in this setting, there is no color, except for color that has been collected and harvested. This collected color has magical properties. So, under normal physics, there is a spectrum of color, but in this universe, there is not. The new and altered properties of color would fall under Para-Isophysics. Para-iso would be any normal laws of physics that you have changed or new laws that you have added. Typically, you would put most "normal" magic under para-iso.





However, if you are sticking with normal physics, but just pushing the boundary, it stays in Isophysics. Whenever you do something possible, but highly improbable, you should stick it under isophysics and keep an eye on it. Yes, luck exists, but if you use luck too much, it starts to move from isophysics to para-isophysics, and readers do not like it when you start making up powers on the fly to save your MC. It's a useful tool to keep track of "Possible, but improbable" events in your story. if you use them too much, you might want to consider going back to the start of the story and establishing that your MC is very lucky, or has a blessing from a leprechaun, or something, so it becomes easier for your reader to suspend disbelief.







Metaphysics:



Metaphysics is anything that deals with concepts. This is the realm of memes. If you can imagine it, it falls under metaphysics. We all know what thought is, so I hope I don't have to clarify that. However, you might want to get whacky with your memetics, so that becomes Para-metaphysics. Typically, that would be your ghosts, your spirits, gods, that sort of thing. If you want magic that is based off summoning spirits and then the spirits do the magic, that's Para-metaphysics. If your magic has personalities, it's Para-meta. So if you are just dealing with "hard" magic, you'd stick with para-iso, but if you are dealing with praying for spells, summoning spirits, that sort of thing, then you are moving into para-meta.



Now the two do bleed from one into the other. This isn't a hard and fast set of rules. Remember, this is to help YOU, the author, keep track of how you are altering your fictional setting and the changes you are making to reality. So, while a summoned spirit would be Para-meta, the magic it casts could fall under para-iso. It's useful to think of it this way, so that when you are considering "What can my MC do?" you don't make the mistake of making a given power a Swiss army knife. LIMITATIONS ARE GOOD.





People like to see MCs challenged and then overcome those challenges. They also don't like "new" powers that just 'happen' when the situation needs it. If you need the MC to get out of trouble, see if he has an already established ability you can twist and use in a devious manner to save his ass, rather than make something new, or if you must, make sure it's at least adjacent to an established exception.





Pataphysics:



I didn't make up the name. Some French guy did. This is the physics of what we cannot think of. If you can imagine it, it's metaphysics. If you can't, it's pataphysics. A good example of pataphysics is a 4-dimensional hypercube. We are three-dimensional. We cannot see in four dimensions, so we cannot truly "conceive" of a hypercube. We can make a 3-dimensional shadow of one, but in the end, we are just seeing its shadow and trying to imagine what it might look like





(Actually, because the back of our eyes is effectively "flat", we are seeing a 2-dimensional image of a three-dimensional shadow, of a four-dimensional object. Funny that.)



This is pataphysics in a nutshell. It is where you cannot conceive of something, but you can observe how such a thing might interact with what you CAN conceive. So if you are trying to write about truly alien concepts, then it falls under pataphysics. Oddly enough, a good chunk of horror stories use pataphysics. Most physics we can understand, but the utterly alien tends to send chills up one's spine. We can understand some guy chanting and casting fireballs. It's hard to understand why someone, with tears of bubbling pitch streaming down their face, would open three of their seven mouths to chant the song that destroys the world.





Both involve chanting, one is a bit more disturbing.



Pataphysics doesn't have to be terrifying, however. Look at Terry Pratchett's The Colour of Magic. Magic has a colour that we cannot see unless you are a magic user yourself. it is the 8th color. This would be Pataphysical. It's just a nice, yet alien touch to the story. I also like the part where he describes an object as being so cold it is ANTI-BOILING the water around it. So if you want to add just a pinch of the alien to your story, consider googling prefixes and suffixes and then take some concepts from your story and just mix and match. See what you can come up with.





Hypophysics:



Hypophysics is another word for quantum physics. Again, it is the physics you are keeping, hence why we use this term instead of quantum physics. Hypophysics is about the rules that govern very small things as well as minute details. When you try to observe very small objects, it gets increasingly difficult the smaller it is. For example, you need a microscope to see single-cell organisms. To go smaller, you might use an electron microscope. However, an electron microscope works by shooting a stream of electrons at an object. There is a limit to how small you can go with this.



Let's say you are trying to look at a single proton. If you used an electron microscope, this would be like trying to find out what color a beach ball is in a totally dark room by firing a stream of billard balls at it, then observing where the eight-ball bounced off to. This is what they mean when they say that the act of observing an object changes the object.





On a quantum level, perception changes the object you are looking at. If you took a stream of photons, trying to detect packets of energy, you will find packets of energy. if you switch to detecting for waves instead of particles, you will CHANGE the particles into waves. So if you have a stream of light that you split into two, and you start detecting for particles on one, and waves on the other, you will get 50% and 50% each. However, if you put a detector that detects only waves before the splitter, it will change the beam into 100% waves and you will stop detecting particles.



What's strange, is that this can work in reverse, changing the photons retroactively one way or the other.



All sorts of strangeness occurs with quantum mechanics. Teleportation, tunneling, entanglement, and some REALLY strange stuff that seems to break the speed of light and conservation of matter and energy. However, it has limits. You can't walk through walls. You can't teleport a person.



But what if you COULD?



That's where Para-hypophysics comes in. If you are dealing with super-science instead of straight-up magic, then chances are you are dealing with para-hypophysics. When you want to break the speed of light, you might turn your MC into a macro-tachyon. You know what a sonic boom is, right? What if you want to break the light barrier? Would that be a "Luminal Boom"? What the hell would that even look like?



Para-hypophysics is like a scalpel, whereas Para-iso is more of a sledgehammer. The "science" of Star Trek is mostly straight-up magic when you think about it, but the writers (used to) put in a lot of effort to TRY and connect it to real-world physics. There is no reason you cannot mix and match. You see, while I'm mostly splitting it up by Fantasy being para-iso and Super Science being para-hypo, it's not quite that simple.



Para-hypo is more about how perception alters reality, and Para-iso is more about altered objective reality. A wizard just says, "By my will be done" and casts his spell. The scientist needs to justify what he is doing. He has to perceive how the magic works. He needs a full framework in his mind of all the steps. So a "hard" magic system would fall under Para-hypo, because you are getting down into the nitty gritty. Most very complex magic systems in a LitRPG would technically fall under para-hypo.



If you do a lot of hand-waving, or magic isn't that central to your story, you can keep most of it in Para-iso. However, if you plan on getting down into the details of how the system works, you are "Observing" it in great detail, then it's Para-hypo. Note, that this isn't a hard limit here. Again, these are just ways of keeping concepts subdivided so it is easier to keep track of how your setting works.





Infraphysics:



Finally, we get to the strangest of the categories. The physics of nothing. What is nothing? And I mean, Null, Not Zero, because zero is a number and therefore exists. I'm talking about Nul, where you don't even have a ZERO. What is empty space? Is the void actually something? If you had a box with a true vacuum in it, and no light or any form of radiation or bosons of any sort passed through, and you brought it down to absolute zero inside the box, is anything there?



Oddly enough, yes. If you could take something down to true absolute zero, the universe would force the temperature back up via virtual particles, thus creating energy. If you could keep harvesting it, you could achieve what is called, zero-point energy. Which is basically taking reality and dividing by zero and somehow getting a result.





Alas, since the conservation of matter and energy exists, you don't get it for free. What you are doing is converting reality into energy. Imagine that the world was on a grid, like most video games. You have to place things on the grid, or objects snap to the grid for placement. Zero Point energy would be like burning the grid ITSELF for fuel. In other words, using the very fabric of the universe for kindling. On paper, it sounds nice. I bet there would be some problems if we actually pulled it off.



If you are dealing with concepts like this, you are dealing with infraphysics. But it would also cover the use of "null" in general. Another example would be how you view magic working. In Forgotten Realms, magic works because of "The Weave", but the goddess Shar noticed that the weave left gaps. The weave casts a "shadow" between the threads of the weave. So the goddess of night used this "shadow weave" to set up an alternate power source for magic that allowed her to get around the goddess of magic's stranglehold on magic.



Perhaps you view magic as gathering mana and then releasing it. An alternate method might be to "dig a hole" in reality. To create a "mana vacuum" that then, due to thermodynamics, causes mana to flow into the "negative space", and thus a way of using the mana around you without "gathering" it. So if normal magic users gather magic into themselves and then use that to cast magic, this "vacuum magic" would be more about clawing a hole in reality, than stealing mana from sources around you to "fill up" the hole.



Infraphysics is a hard concept to tackle. It's the exact opposite of Pataphysics. At least pataphysics allows you to infer what you cannot conceive by observing how the inconceivable interacts with the conceivable. With infraphysics, you literally have NOTHING TO WORK WITH. It is more of "the edge of the map" than a concept that you would use for organizing the laws of your fictional setting, but if you are the sort who likes to play around with "Things Man Was Never Ment To Know", then this category is definately somewhere on your "To Do" list for things to play with.


CONCLUSION:



Think of these categories as just the way to order things so that when you are considering adding in a new power, or exception to the laws of physics, you can properly compare it to the other exceptions you have already added and say to yourself, "Does this add anything to the story, or is there a better way to do this? Have I changed too much, or does this fit in with what I'm doing?



For example, if your story is a romance where the magic system revolves around summoning sexy nymphs and fluttering faeries to cast spells and do magic, it wouldn't make much sense to have the Villain use laser blasters and robots. Now summoning spirits to shoot lightning bolts, or binding them into corpses to create an undead army, that fits much better.

-------------------------------------

HOW LONG TO WRITE A CHAPTER.

I spend up to twelve hours thinking about a chapter, then slam it out in an hour. There are many steps to writing. Planning is part of writing.

Editing is the part that takes the most time. Learn how to be your own editor.

-------------------------------------

What About the first chapter?

1) The first sentence is what grabs my attention to read the first paragraph.
2) The first paragraph is what sells the first chapter.
3) The first chapter gives me a question that the reader should be curious about and your book should be the only way to answer that question.

I have a pattern.

Single Line at the start of the chapter to be a zinger.

Then I have a little exposition at the start of most chapters.

A paragraph explaining the setup.
Paragraphs are broken up by topic.
Occasionally a one-liner where I hit the reader with a single idea.




I will sometimes put something all by itself after many carriage returns to make it ESPECIALLY stand out.


Then, finally, I try to have a final zinger line to end the chapter on.



It's cheap psychological manipulation, but it works.

How about an example?

Spoiler: original

Author Note: This is my first time writing a novel, so bear with me now.



"Keugh... is this.. how I leave this world?" He coughs blood, and after a slight pause he laughs and smiles. "Oh well, whatever all I can do now is hope."

My life was full of stupid shit honestly, I never spent my time well.. if I could I wish I could go to a different world like Murim with some system, man, I should've stopped reading those weird novels, but whatever honestly, in the end, it's the survival of the fittest, even in this so-called "comfortable" world. All I hope now is that I at least don't go to hell, or get reborn, since me going to Heaven is the equivalent of letting a crazy murderer not go to jail while being caught.

"G-goodbye you shitty world." he tries to yell out loud while on the concrete ground, but only to output a barely audible voice with a lot of people looking down at him in worry, with sirens in the background.

Suddenly, he wakes up on a bunch of leaves and some grass, with rays of sun on his face. Still not comprehending what has happened, he looks around to see many tall trees with lots of leaves on them. He then feels a different type of clothing on his body, he sees himself wearing a red and black Hanfu. (I believe a Hanfu is the things people wear in wuxia or murim please tell me what the name is of what they wear.) When he tries to look around he notices his long hair going all the way down to his upper back. Upon noticing all of these details, he begins to check if he still has his manhood.

"Oh... thank god, I'm still a man." He redirects his attention back to his surroundings. "So where am I? By the looks of it it seems like I'm in a different universe?" He begins to remember the life he's lived giving him a irritated expression on his face. "AGH! Whatever, I just need to be better then last time, this time I will try to actually do something with my life."

And then out of nowhere a blue square appears right in front of him, not bounded by gravity or the laws of physics.

[Initializing...]

After looking in confusion for a little bit, a light begins to pop up in his head, causing him to grin a little bit at the realization of what has just appeared right in front him.

"My god, haha... is that a fucking system!? Please let it be a system and not just me being crazy." At those words the blue square begins to show numbers indicating the percentage of something.

[Initializing... 4% 7% 13% 25% 43% 77% 99%]

"What the hell, I'm not hallucinating? It really is a system!"

[Initializing... 100% Congratulations, Thank You For Playing Our Game!"

Spoiler: My offered rewrite

"Keugh... is this.. how I leave this world?"



Melvin was dying. he held his hand to his mouth as he coughed and pulled his cupped hand away to look at it. The odd mix of blood and mucus actually distracted him from the sucking chest wound for a few seconds. For just a moment, he forgot there was a small bullet hole in his back and the frickin Holand Tunnel out the front.

He fell to his knees, not quite sure who shot him in the back. Given the time of day, it was most likely anyone who knew his schedule. That meant this assassination was a betrayal, "Oh well, whatever all I can do now is hope."

The funny thing was, he had just realized he was doing things wrong. His whole life he'd be a bastard. He'd only thought about number one. He justified it with how life had treated him. His father was a working stiff who never got anywhere. Mom always bitched at dad and only thought about how much happier she could have been if she had only married Jack back in college.

Melvin spent most of his childhood getting the crap beat out of him, so as soon as he had his chance to get ahead, he took it. He had learned nobody cares, so he cared about no one. He was a very good liar and got ahead by backstabbing, betraying, and never ever showing mercy.


One day, that changed.


He realized everything he did was to get back at the people who beat the crap out of him. Everyone he hurt, was just an attempt to make things "right" to make things fair. But one day he realized something. He was just evil.

It started small. he couldn't do his job. He couldn't focus. he started trying to stop, get out. Nothing made him happy anymore so he just stopped doing drugs, stopped having sex, and stopped doing everything. He finally made up his mind. He was going to quit.

Unfortunately, his partners figured it out first.

Now he was face first on the sidewalk, people screaming, people running. He doubted anyone would catch the bastard who killed him, nor would anyone care. He just stared at the growing pool of blood under himself as he thought, ~Honestly, I really was going to try and fix things.~ He closed his eyes, ~Ah well, at least there's a special place in Hell for someone like me.~

Now, compare these two What is the QUESTION?
The original: What is this guy going to do?
My Rewrite: Is this guy going to make good on turning over a new leaf?

Which question is more compelling? Which one is more likely to get you to read to the end of the book to find out?

People like a question that goes somewhere and isn't open-ended. Keep that in mind.

-----------------------------------

On Dialogue

"When having a conversation I have words inside quotations and get rid of the word 'said' whenever possible." Eldritch had discovered that people are smart enough to figure it out for themselves, "You just need a comma and some quotes to get people to know who is talking. The important part is to start a new chapter whenever the speaking subject changes.

My imagination interrupted, "This would be an example of that." It looked around and wiggled its tendrils, "Actions can be done by anyone and rolled into the paragraph." Eldritch nodded as my Imagination continued, "As long as who is talking inside the quotes remains the same."

"So Expositions should be all at the start of the chapter, with maybe a small wrap-up at the end, but if you get in the habit of having conversations like this, you can group things up in a way that is easier on the reader's eyes. It knows where one speaker ends and another begins. In fact, if you keep up the pattern, you won't even need to point out who is talking, the reader will figure it out by style of speech, or the fact only two people are talking."

However, there is a problem...

How to have the conversation sound... different.

Step 1: JUST WRITE THE CONVERSATION. Alternate between who is talking keeping the words spoken seperated

A: You suck
B: no you suck
A: You really suck
C: you both suck.
A & B in unison: Go Away, C. Nobody likes you.

Step 2: Sprinkle in what actions they do while talking. Give each one a signature action. Write it out as a Spread sheet.

WHEN: Angry, Sad, Happy, Emotionless, Fear, Awe, Scare, Hopeless, Frustrated, Hopeful

Like: Angry: Gestures Wildly
Happy: Smiles
Scared: His eyes go wide

Blah Blah Blah. but make sure you use the same 'action' for the emotion EVERY TIME so the reader can pick up on it. Just me, they'll figure it out if YOU are consistent.

THEN...

GO TO CHAT GPT

Take your dialogue and feed it in to the machine by saying:

REPHRASE THE FOLLOWING DIALOGUE AS IF A [Blank] WAS SPEAKING.

Keep it simple. No more than 3 words.

Spoiler: ORIGNAL

Jacob lowered his head to look at the floor, "I dunno why I tried so hard to save him. Matter of pride I guess. Didn't want anyone accusing me of slacking. But... nothing I could do. I didn't even know what to do." He looked up and around, "This is right before NanaMed, by the way." He turned back tot he Professor, "Crazy thing. Right before he died he grabs me and says, 'Thanks for trying. It's acceptable. I am glad I got to meet a human."

He scratched the back of his neck, "It boggled me. No idea what the fuck that meant. Then I looked into it and it turns out one of the races who's asses we kicked had done the same thing to the Icconians." He looked around the room, "The first time it occurred to me that you guys weren't all on the same team. Maybe blaming all of you for my shitty life wasn't the smart way to go." He shrugged, "So when I got out of the army, I quit being an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Sorry. You mightn't know what that is."

"Anti-xenos" He explained, "Spelled AX. It's something you use on earth to chop things up. So people who actively hate all aliens called themselves Axers." He shrugged, "Anyways. Fast forward to last year. I was looking into school that taught xenobiology so I could be a better medic and learned about this place. I signed up and..." He shrugged, "I got accepted." He snapped his finger, "But, I'm broke. So... I ran a go fund me." He looked around, "Uh, basically a way to beg for money from strangers." He shrugged, "Anyways. it wasn't getting much money, but... it did get noticed by some former axers I knew."

Jacob looked up at the professor, "So I was working at a local clinic. I had gotten out of the army by then and this guy walks up to me and asks me my name and I knew something was up." He gestured to his armpit, "Now, former military is allowed to conceal carry weapons. It's a perk. I think he was expecting me to be unarmed." He make his hand into a gun shape, "He shot three times, hit me twice, and I had a Watt Pistol." Jacob 'fired' his hand, "Got him between the eyes and that's all she wrote."

He shrugged, "Next thing you know, the government is using this as Anti-Axer propaganda. Everyone on the planet learned about the shooting and money comes flowing into the go fund me and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I am. A strange, bumpy, and crazy road to get here, but I'm here."

Spoiler: Old West Cowboy

Jacob tilted his hat down, eyes on the ground. "Can't rightly say why I put in so much effort tryin' to save him. Reckon it was just pride, not wantin' folks thinkin' I was some kind of slacker. But... nothin' I could do. Didn't have the first clue what I was doin'." He lifted his gaze, lookin' around. "This was just before NanaMed, if you’re wonderin'." Turned back to the Professor, "Crazy thing though, right before he bit the dust, he grabs me and says, 'Thanks for tryin'. It's fine. Glad I got to meet a human.'"

He rubbed the back of his neck, "That one had me scratchin' my head. Didn't have a clue what in tarnation he meant. So I looked into it, turns out one of them races we thrashed had done the same thing to the Icconians." His eyes drifted around the room, "First time it hit me that y'all weren't ridin' for the same brand. Maybe blamin' y'all for my rotten luck wasn't the brightest idea." He shrugged, "So, when I got outta the army, I quit bein' an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Oh, sorry, guess you might not know what that is."

"Anti-xenos," he explained, "spelled AX. It's like somethin' you'd use back home to chop wood. So folks who hated all aliens called themselves Axers." He shrugged again, "Anyhow, fast forward to last year. I was searchin' for a school teachin' xenobiology so I could patch folks up better, stumbled across this place. Threw my hat in the ring and..." He shrugged, "got accepted." He snapped his finger again, "But, I was dead broke. So... I set up a go fund me." He glanced around, "Uh, that’s just a fancy way of beggin' folks for money." Another shrug, "It wasn’t pullin' in much cash, but... it did catch the eye of some old Axer buddies."

Jacob looked up at the professor, "So there I was, workin' at a local clinic, already out of the army, when this fella strolls up, asks for my name. Knew somethin' was off." He patted his side, "Now, ex-military's got the right to carry concealed. It’s a perk. Guess he figured I’d be unarmed." He shaped his hand like a gun, "Fired three shots, hit me twice, but I had a Watt Pistol." Jacob ‘fired’ his hand, "Put one right between his eyes, and that was the end of that."

He shrugged again, "Next thing I know, the government’s usin' this as Anti-Axer fodder. Everyone and their granny heard about the shootout, and money starts pourin' into the go fund me, and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I am. The road here was as rough as a tumbleweed in a dust storm, but I made it."

Spoiler: 16th century Nobleman

Jacob inclined his head, casting his gaze to the floor. "I know not why I exerted myself so greatly in an effort to save him. Mayhaps it was a matter of honor, for I desired not to be seen as indolent. Yet... there was naught I could do. I lacked the knowledge of how to proceed." He lifted his eyes, glancing about. "This occurred just prior to the advent of NanaMed, I should mention." He then turned to face the Professor, "A most curious thing happened. Just before he succumbed to his wounds, he seized my hand and said, 'I thank you for your efforts. It is well. I am grateful to have encountered a human.'"

He absently rubbed the back of his neck, "I was perplexed, truly. I could not fathom what he meant by those words. Upon further investigation, I discovered that one of the races we vanquished had inflicted the same upon the Icconians." He looked around the chamber, "It was the first time it dawned upon me that you were not all united under the same banner. Perhaps placing the blame upon you all for the misfortunes in my life was not the wisest course." He gave a slight shrug, "Thus, when I left the army, I abandoned my ways as an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Ah, I apologize. You may not be familiar with the term."

"Anti-xenos," he clarified, "spelled AX. It refers to an implement used on Earth for hewing wood. Those who harbored hatred for all alien beings styled themselves as Axers." He shrugged once more, "Nevertheless, to move the tale forward to the past year. I sought out a place of learning that imparted the study of xenobiology, that I might become a more proficient medic, and thus, I learned of this institution. I applied and..." He gave another shrug, "I was accepted." He snapped his fingers again, "But, alas, I found myself destitute. Thus... I resorted to a go fund me." He cast a glance around, "In essence, it is a manner by which one solicits alms from strangers." He gave yet another shrug, "It did not yield much coin, but... it did attract the attention of some former Axers of my acquaintance."

Jacob lifted his gaze to the professor, "So, there I was, laboring at a local infirmary, having already left the army, when a man approached me, inquiring as to my name. I sensed immediately that something was amiss." He gestured towards his side, "Now, veterans are granted the privilege of carrying concealed weapons. It is a benefit. I suspect he expected me to be unarmed." He mimed a pistol with his hand, "He discharged his weapon thrice, striking me twice, yet I bore a Watt Pistol." Jacob mimicked firing the pistol, "I struck him between the eyes, and thus ended the matter."

He shrugged yet again, "Before long, the government seized upon this incident as fodder for Anti-Axer rhetoric. Word of the shooting spread throughout the land, and soon, funds poured into the go fund me, and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I stand. The path that brought me hither was most strange, tumultuous, and unpredictable, yet I have arrived."

Spoiler: Fantasy Saloon Barkeep

Jacob lowered his head, staring at the floor as he spoke. "Ain't rightly sure why I put so much effort into saving him," he muttered. "Pride, maybe. Didn’t want folks thinkin’ I was slackin’. But… there weren’t nothin’ I could do. Didn’t even know where to start.” He glanced up and around the room, adding, “This was right before NanaMed, mind ye.” Turning back to the professor, he continued, “Funny thing, though. Just before he passed, he grabs hold of me and says, ‘Thanks for tryin’. It’s acceptable. Glad I got to meet a human.’”

Jacob scratched the back of his neck, a puzzled look crossing his face. “That threw me for a loop. Didn’t have the slightest idea what he meant. Later on, I dug into it and found out that one of the races we’d whooped had done the same to the Icconians.” He cast a glance around the room, “First time it hit me that y’all weren’t on the same side. Maybe blamin’ all of you for my own miserable life wasn’t the wisest course.” He shrugged, “So when I left the army, I gave up bein’ an Axer.” He snapped his fingers as if to jog a memory, “Oh, sorry. Might be you don’t know what that is.”

“Anti-xenos,” he explained, “Spelled AX. It’s somethin’ you use on earth to chop things up. So, folks who hated all aliens started callin’ themselves Axers.” He shrugged again, “Anyways, fast forward to last year. I started lookin’ into schools that taught xenobiology so I could be a better medic and came across this place. Signed up and…” He shrugged, “Got accepted.” Another snap of his fingers, “But I’m broke. So… I ran one of them go fund me deals.” He looked around sheepishly, “Uh, that’s just a way to beg money off strangers.” He shrugged once more, “Didn’t bring in much, but… it caught the eye of some old Axer pals of mine.”

Jacob looked the professor in the eye, “So there I was, workin’ at a local clinic. I’d already left the army by then, and this fella walks up, asks me my name, and I knew somethin’ was up.” He gestured towards his armpit, “Now, folks who’ve served in the military get to carry concealed weapons. It’s a perk. I reckon he thought I’d be unarmed.” He shaped his hand like a gun, “He fires three shots, hits me twice, but I had a Watt Pistol on me.” He mimed firing his hand, “Put one right between his eyes, and that was the end of that.”

He shrugged once more, “Next thing I know, the government’s usin’ this whole mess as Anti-Axer propaganda. Suddenly, everyone on the planet knew about the shootin’, and money started pourin’ into that go fund me.” He spread his hands wide, “And here I am. A strange, bumpy, and downright crazy road to get here, but here I am.”

As you can see, it needs a lot of work, but you can look at it and keep only a few bits and bobs and then rework it until it fits what you want. If you keep the three words for the Each Character the same and consistantly use ChatGPT to "flavor" the text, it will still be your writing, but it will be as if you uses a thesaurus.

It just speeds things up.

DON'T let ChatGPT write the dialogue. It SUCKS and making shit up.


------------------------------------------------------

HOW TO BE YOUR OWN EDITOR

1. Write the chapter yourself.

2. Run it through a simple spell checker like Word.

3. Go to ChatGPT and type "Rephrase The Following Paragraph" Take one paragraph of at least 3 sentences and save it in a separate file. Feed that paragraph to ChatGPT. Copy the resulting paragraph to a separate file. Make a hybrid paragraph of the best of both.

4. Repeat step 3 until you have done every paragraph.

5. Turn on Grammerly. Just use the spell-checking feature. Screw the suggestions.

6. Go through your chapter to search for the following words:
Suddenly
Very/really
Started
Just
Somewhat/slightly
Somehow
Seem(s)
Definitely
If you see any of these words, reconsider them. Usually, these words are misused. If someone is speaking, no problem, but outside of the conversation, they usually are a bad sign.

7. If any sections don't feel right use the following at random:
prowritingaid.com/rephrase
sudowrite.com/app
writesonic.com/
But they do not allow unlimited use, so just use these occasionally to get a different perspective on how you phrased something.

8. Put it through Text Edit and turn on the text-to-speech feature. Listen to the chapter and fix it as it reads it out loud to you.

9. Go through and check for words that you keep using over and over. Using the same word too often will stand out. Try to have at least three different ways of referring to any main character. Avoid using the same word more than once in any given paragraph, or at least no more than once a page (pronouns/conjunctions not included, obviously). The English language is incredibly diverse, so the more you force yourself to get creative using alternatives, the more interesting your work is.

10. Turn on Grammerly one last time for spell-checking.

-----------------

START AT THE END.

You need to know what the ending of a plotline is, At least the final gut punch you plan for the reader to have. You can have an epilogue afterward, but you need that final scene in your head at least. Just writing because "I have a cool idea." Doesn't work. You need to know the ending.

Most books are three acts.

You need a plot that starts then finishes in Act/Act, in order of importance:
1/3
1/1
3/3
2/2
1/2
2/3

What I mean is you introduce a plot in Act 1, then it ends in Act 3, followed by Act 1 ends in Act 1.

The overall plot, that goes from plot 1 to plot 3 is the most important, but 1/1 is the second most important because it KEEPS THE READER READING.

That means, before you start the story, you need to have 6 endings. I don't care how much you write it out, but you need 6 plots and 6 plot endings. ANYTHING ELSE IS BOTH UNNEEDED AND DANGEROUS. You also need to know how the plot STARTS. So you need 6 beginnings and 6 endings. However, if you work those out ahead of time, everything else is just filler to get the story to move from one key scene to the next.

For example:

1/3: Joe is summoned and he has to defeat the demon lord
1/1: Joe is dropped into a strange situation and needs to adjust.
3/3: Joe will have a setback he needs to overcome
2/2: Joe will go on a training montage.
1/2: Joe will encounter the miniboss and have to overcome them.
2/3: Joe will have a romance subplot where he meets a girl and they fall in love by the end.

So three things begin in the first act, 2 starts in the second, 1 in the last.
There is one conclusion in the first, 2 in the second, then 3 in the ending
(and if you do it well, it all comes together in one scene.)

It's simple, it's formulaic, IT WORKS.

If you do this, you won't "write in the wrong direction" because you know where the ending is. Once you work out those 6 starts and 6 ends, everything else in the book is just connective tissue.


--------------------


If you are having problems making a character Here's my cheat sheet


Name
Race
Apparent Age
Actual Age
Sex
Gender
Height
Weight
Eye Color
Hair Color
Parents (How many, Sex, general Relations)
Place of birth

Current mental Age group: (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Where PC/NPC spent their (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Note Worthy Events of (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Current Socio-Economic Standing (Poor/Lower Class/Middle Class/Upper Class/SuperRich)

Stats: 1-5
Physical: Strength/Dexterity/Stamina
Social: Charisma/Manipulation/Appearance
Mental: Intelligence/Wisdom/Perception

Morality (scale of 1-5)
Good-Evil (Objective Morality)
Right-Wrong (Subjective Morality)
Legal-Crime (Social Morality)
Positive-Negative (Outcome Morality)

I go with the 1-5 scale with occasionally 0 or 5+

Nobody lives in a vacuum. However, everyone rhymes. get in your head the above groups and some stereotypical traits for each.

A guy whose morality is Objective 1, Subjective 1, Social 5, Outcome 1 is the kind of guy who believes in "Good" Outside himself and seeks to internalize it. he thinks society is corrupt, and willing to commit crimes if the outcome is positive.

ie Batman.

Charisma is personality, Manipulation is how controlling you can be, and appearance is how you look.

So your typical otome Villainess is a Chr 1, Manip 4, App 4.

When you get good at it, you can "shorthand" a character with ease

--------------------------

How to self-motivate:

Tell yourself, "NO ONE LOVES YOU! YOU ARE A WASTE OF SKIN! YOU ARE ONLY WORTH SOMETHING WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING! IF YOU AREN'T DOING SOMETHING, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? EVERY MOMENT YOU WASTE NOT DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, A BABY KITTEN DIES! IF YOU ONLY TRIED HARDER, THERE WOULD BE LESS DEAD LOVED ONES IN YOUR LIFE! EVERYONE YOU EVER LOVED THAT DIED IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WORK HARD ENOUGH!"

Then I get back to writing.

---------------------------

On units of measurement:

If you are describing units of measurement, sometimes you want to be vague. Metaphors are usually a good way to go.

The tree was as far from me as I was close to touching a girl's boob.
The events he reminded me of were as far past as the last good Star Wars movie.
His eyes were as far apart from one another as the distance between me and my father.

OR you can go with something to compare it to:

He was closing in on me, a mere two car lengths behind.
She was about half the size of the Statue of Liberty.
In the time it takes me to finish having sex with my wife, the song was over.

If you WANT to be specific, you can, but you need to be careful and consistent. Using actual numbers means the reader will track those numbers, so make sure your math is right.

And If you wanna use metrics in your story, go ahead. It's your story.
But I always use "We put a flag on the fuckin' moon" units.

--------------------------

On How Much You Write:

Brevity is the soul of wit.
When you write anything ask yourself is it World Building, Character Building, Plot Development, or Fluff. YOU DON'T NEED FLUFF. If possible, every line should do two or three things.

Something pounded into my head was, "WHAT CAN YOU CUT OUT OF YOUR STORY?"

Every word you include is a fraction of a second to read. Every fraction adds up. Time is the currency of exchange between an author and a reader. I am asking you for time. I am asking you to SPEND TIME ON ME. So, I go through and I pare it down. Carefully and deliberately ask myself, "What Does This Bring To The Story? Is it redundant? Have I already told this to the reader? Does repeating it serve a purpose? If not, how do I cut it? If it is new, then how can I make it serve a second purpose? Is there a way to have this information have a second meaning? A third meaning? Can I combine it with something else? Will It change when the reader knows the ending and will it be BETTER? Is there a better plot point I can use instead? Can I subvert their expectations and give them something BETTER than they expected and if so, how much can I keep hidden from the reader so they truly can't see it coming, yet will think it was obvious in retrospect?"

Smaller. Tighter. More concentrated. BIG is the enemy. Flowery fluffy filler is a sign of weakness. Hit him hard, let the reader breathe, then hit him again, but short rabbit punches.

I know that quality is what matters, but in the back of my head, I have this Big Is Evil, hang-up. 500k Well Written Words is fine. the 500k isn't the problem.

Except it's a problem.

Part of me wonders, like it or not, is it too much? Then I say, "If it's quality, then it doesn't matter. You can have large quantities of quality. It does happen."

Then I say, "No it doesn't. You arrogant FOOL!"

------------

BEST TIME TO POST CHAPTERS

The best time is subjective, just be consistent.
HOWEVER...

I have anecdotal evidence that the best time is 12:01 am local time so you have the maximum amount of exposure to the algorithm. To get the most amount of "hits", post once every three days for maximum return. But that's just my own systematic testing of the system. Take it with a boulder of salt.

------------------------------------------

ON WRITING FANFICTION

Step 1: STOP. TEARING. YOURSELF. DOWN.

If you start by thinking, "This is going to be crap" then you will succeed in making crap.


Step 2: Become a scholar on the subject.

If you haven't, watch the show. Maybe watch it again. Make a point of watching an episode every day. NON-STOP. Unless you are a freak like me who can remember obscure details from one watching of an episode, they you need to learn the material.

For example, if you said, "What's the name of that computer that accidentally kills a redshirt by hooking up directly to the warp-"
ME: "The M5"

I can't remember the names of my co-workers who I have worked with for 5 years now, but the name of a AI that killed a RedShirt in a ST:tOS episode I watched once when I was 12? THAT'S EASY. So unless you are a freak like me, STUDY YOUR MATERIAL. Which also means that you need to WATCH OTHER VIDEO Essays on the subject. Bad takes. Good Takes. You need as many PoVs as you can get on the material.

You need to LEARN THE CHARACTERS BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL CREATOR.


Step 3: DO NOT SELF INSERT.

Every Author needs to write what they know, and who do you know better than yourself? However, you are new at this. Are you ready for when the readers start to TEAR YOUR SELF-INSERT APART? When they call your Self-Insert a little BITCH, or a sociopath, or a cunt, or systematically explain why the self-insert is a total loser and tear apart every flaw they have and basically vivasect your self-insert alive in front of you, are you going to be able to take that?

I am. I got no problem with that. I love having my flaws exposed and pointed out. It's a great way to grow and improve as a person. I went on a talk show once on Youtube and got RIPPED APART, but you know something? I grew from the experience. It hurt, but I learned something about myself and I became a better man.

How about you, mister, "I'm cutting my own legs out from under myself by assuming my story is going to suck before I even write it"? You gonna grow from having your self-insert's soul shredded before you? I don't think you are up for that.

However, it is okay to use ELEMENTS from your life. Personality quirks, but KEEP IT TO A MINIMUM.


Step 4: Craft your Isekai OC character Well.

A. Read up on isekai.
B. Determine if they will want to stay or strive to return.
C. Do they know the setting and story? How well?
D. What is their weakness? A MC without a weakness to overcome and grow is a lame MC.
E. What is their Strength?

You should give your MC some sort of perk. Something they are GREAT at. Yes, you can make them superstrong, or the best water bender, or they have multiple elements they can control, or they can control... nothing, but they have access to the internet.

ONE. PERK.

Yes, you COULD have them be Superman in A:tLA, but you are new. You do not know what you are doing. ONE PERK ONLY. Make them have to get creative. Maybe the only power they have IS being creative. They are a water bender, but they know how to make Steam, Ice, or Ice-7, which only forms under 30,000 Atmospheres of pressure. or they can break down Water into Hydrogen and Oxygen and make the air flammable.

Whatever it is establish it in the FIRST CHAPTER. your readers will put up with as much BS as you want to shovel in the first chapter as you want. HOWEVER, after that first chapter, you need to make everything a LOGICAL CONCLUSION FROM THAT.

"And THEN". not "Just HAPPENS"
Meaning, A leads to B leads to C leads to D.
Not A HAPPENS. B HAPPENS. C HAPPENS.
Consequences. Cause and effect. One thing causes another.

Step 5: Your OC should never overshadow the IP's original Characters.

Go to my Sig file. Read Hotrod Lantern.

the OC is Ungodly powerful. However, he STILL needed to be saved by the original IP characters. He HELPED them, but in the end, they had dealt with people MUCH more powerful than him in the past, so while he had his moments, he wasn't the top dog.

The main problem you will have is finding ways to make your OC LOSE. How to have him fail. Cost him. You need to kick him in the teeth. You need to make him WORK at it. At least once in your story, ask yourself, WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD LOGICALLY HAPPEN AS A CONSEQUENCE? Then have it happen. Don't hit him with a Meteor. Have his actions come back to bite him. He's sneaking in somewhere? He trips and activates the alarm. Whatever it is, at some point things should go WRONG.

Then have him scramble to fix it.


Step 6: Don't have everyone like him, unless his one perk is he's super likable.

If he knows the story, acting super chummy with the Main Characters will often set off red flags. How does he know how I like my tea? How DOES he know my nickname? What would YOU do if a complete stranger suddenly dropped into your life and knew everything about you and just kept smiling around you all the time?

You'd Freak the fuck out, that's what.

Make him WORK to become friends. Have him fuck up. Have him want to get busy with one of the babes and have her flat out REJECT HIM. BTW, the Subject matter? SEX AND ROMANCE IS RIGHT OUT. Unless you are making THAT sort of fanfic, this type of setting does NOT lend itself well to any sort of relationship, unless it's FRIENDSHIP. You said you wanted to be serious? Well, KEEP IT SERIOUS AND RESPECT THE SETTING.



Step 7: You need a REAL character.

What does this mean? The Reader will swallow anything in the first chapter, after that, he needs to ACT LIKE A REAL HUMAN.

Ryan is the MC of HKN. If you drop him in the middle of Hell, he will crack his neck, sigh, then get to work being a hero. Why? BECAUSE I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I put Ryan through HELL. I spent 20 chapters kicking him in the TEETH. I made him SUFFER. However, that all said. Now? Now it is totally in character for him to just look at any problem or threat, roll up his sleeves, and get to work.

Jack, is a goddamn coward. He acts in his own self interest FIRST. Yes, he does heroic things, reluctantly. Plus, he sucks. He is a REAL person with REAL goals and REAL REACTIONS.

If the MC sees a problem and goes, "No problem". beats up all the bad guys, never acts scared, never worries about anything, constantly makes jokes, and basically acts like nothing matters, then the reader will think nothing matters. Ryan can act like nothing matters, because he is suicidal and wants to DIE. You know his blase attitude stems from his pain. He throws himself into danger because he wants to be reunited with his dead wife. Ryan acts like a blase hero, because he is dead inside and part of his journey is learning to become a Real hero by actually CARING.

See the difference? Ryan is a wise cracking never say die hero because he's insane. You know why he acts the way he does and it's SAD. Occationally the pain leaks out. There are moments the facade cracks.

Don't try and do that. Stick to a NORMAL DUDE in an extraordinary situation.



-------------------------------------------------------------


ON TIME TRAVEL

Establish rules on Time Travel lest you completely fubar your story.

I myself have the omnipresent now, but with enough chronoenergy, you can create limited change in time.

Time is a series of beads on a string. You enter a bead and possibilities expand until you get to halfway through the bead, then possibilities contract until you get to the exit. However, you do not move in a set path, but your path is a series of beads inside a larger bead, inside a larger bead, until you get to a bead that is THE CURRENT UNIVERSE.

To change a bead, you have to obey the conservation of energy. Meaning, you need chronoenergy. Try to change too large a bead, it fails.

Going into the future is easy, but it doesn't matter. To go beyond the Omnipresent Now is just a 'What if' and nothing is set in stone until universal 'Now' catches up. If you run out of energy on your trip, you snap back to NOW.

The energy is used to 'fix paradoxes' For example, you go back in time, kill your own grandpa. You return to the present. If you had enough energy, that's fine. You are still alive. You are now a Neverwere. Maybe you go back in time and convince yourself to be evil. Now you return to the present there are two of you. You are now a Meanwhile.

The conservation of matter and energy is balanced by Chronoenergy. However, there is only so much in my setting. In fact, it's running out. The end of everything is Neigh. There are only a few million years left, and every immortal in existence is fighting over the last remaining scraps of time left.

That way, when readers go, "PARADOX!!! THAT DOESN'T WORK!!!" I go, "He had enough chronoenergy to pay for it." and move on.


------------------------------------


ON THE NATURE OF POWER


Power does NOT corrupt.
Addiction to power corrupts.
If one can avoid addiction to power, power reveals one's true nature.
An evil man with power will be evil, a good man will not.
Alas, dopamine is a hell of a drug.
A good man addicted usually tries to justify his actions by at least lying to himself, an evil man becomes a horror.



-----------------------------------


ON THE NATURE OF SEX APPEAL:

Sex appeal is what attracts character X to the opposite gender.

I know you're going scream, "whut about" and fill in some niche sexual dynamic. You do you, my friend. I'm talking about the generalities here.


Why does it matter?

If you are trying to sell your story, and you are trying to sell your story, you need to appeal to the reader. You are trying to, at the very least, get the reader to spend his or her time on your story. To do this, you should try to make your MC someone that the reader will enjoy reading about. People enjoy reading about sexy people, even if those people never have sex.


So what is sexy?

Here's where I have been finding problems lately and what made me want to post this. For some reason, I'm seeing women being written as being sexy, but they are being written to be sexy to other women (and no, not in a GL story) and guys being written to be sexy to other men, when it's not a BL story. It is almost always a problem of the author not understanding what is sexy. So, Let me explain.


Men generally find the following sexy: Good Looking, Nice Personality, Low Body count

That's about it.

Now, some men might find sexy to be a high body count, but actually, I think you will find that actually, such men are attracted to the PERSONALITY that would produce a high body count, but they would prefer if they caught her really earily so she didn't have a body count yet. Is this universal? No. But it's the basics.

Now, when writing, there is only so much you can do as far as "good looking", because this is text. You basically describe her once, and that's about all you need. We're good after that. Personality is the most important factor. What is important? Actually, that's the hard part. Men like a Wide range of personalities as 'sexy'. Innocent. Violent, mothering, you name it. A good rule of thumb is a guy usually falls in love with his mother.

So how does this help you, the writer?

Pick whatever personality you are going with, and stick to your guns. Actions are what guys look at most, not words. What your MC female does is her personality. Is she loyal? Does she lie? Is she super horny, but only for one guy? Is she pushy except when it matters then lets her BF be in charge? Whatever it is, pick your niche personality and stick to it, because some guys will fall for it, others won't. You can't appeal to everyone.

There is no perfect woman. Just perfect Women.

The phrase, "You are perfect for me." isn't just BS. Guys say that because they do honestly come to believe there is a "perfect woman, for HIM." What is the most popular female type? Damned if I know, but if you figure it out, let me know. All I can suggest is, stick to your guns, whatever personality to give her.


Women are Way more complicated.

You hear that women want the Nice guy, but go after the bad boy. Truth is, it isn't one or the other. They want BOTH. They want the bad boy who IS a nice guy. It's two different metrics. The Bad Boy spectrum is typically based on appearance and masculinity. How tough he is. Is power, dominance, all that dark triad shit.

Women like peaceful men, not harmless men.

A harmless man isn't a threat to anyone. A peaceful man is a threat to everyone, but chooses not to be violent.

Maybe it's evolution, but women love it when they know their guy can and will kick everyone else's ass. Yes, it can be terrifying to know your boyfriend is extremely violent, but if he;s only violent when you are threatened, then hey, it's all good.

On the other spectrum we have the nice guy. This is based on how much the guy gives the girl (either money or time/attention) and how well he cleans up. How presentable he is in public. I knew a guy in college, rather fat, I mean, morbidly fat. However, he was always clean. He had excellent taste in clothes, and he had a lot of money. He also was very confident and rather commanding. He was moderately high on the bad boy scale, but was very high on the nice guy scale.

He had quite a few girlfriends.

Yes, appearance is important, but only on the bad boy scale. On the Nice guy scale, culture, wealth, self-esteem, personalty, nice taste, and a willingness to spend time and money on your partner can get you rather far.

So you wind up with:
Low Nice Low Bad guys being men who every woman ignores.
You have High Bad, low nice, or your average biker that your daughter sleeps with a few times then dumps, then hooks back up with in a few months when she gets bored.
You have your friendzoned fool who is High Nice, low bad. He's someone the girl talks to but will never sleep with.
Then you get high Bad, High Nice who is basically... Prince Charming.

No. Really.

Look at any Otome game. The ML is a Prince or High level Noble with Good Looks. He's usually good with a sword, more than a little dangerous, often very commanding and takes control. He's a bit wild, but "SHE" managed to tame him so that he's A High Value Guy who Is Dangerous but spends all his time/money/attention on one person, the FL.

Of course that doesn't happen in real life. A prince charming these days has so many women throwing themselves at him that he usually has one main girl and a half dozen side pieces, but we're talking about fantasy and wish fufillment.

So how do you make a sexy male lead.

Well, this is often why you see MLs as handsome, socially akward, and secretly powerful. He is a diamond in the rough who just needs the right girl to find him and polish him up. He's either secretly a prince, or he's actually secretly a very powerful magic user, or swordsman, or demon slayer. He's rough around the edges and usually violent, but he keeps it under control around "HER".

This is often why people get annoyed with MLs with harems. They have the violent, the handsome, the masculinity, but they aren't giving all their attention to one ML. Even to other men, they can sense this is a no-no. Yes, some men want to go, "I want lots'o'woman!" but the truth is, we know that isn't "sexy". We know women aren't turned off by the multiple partners, but the fact he isn't giving 100% to one person. There are women willing to put up with it. Often you'll find women who would rather share a "perfect man", over settling for a man who gives them 100% of his attention. 20% of perfect is better than 100% of average.

However, in a story, that doesn't sell.

TL/DR: Physical Attributes, masculinity, culture/how well they clean up, and wealth/time/attention are the four aspects that make a ML sexy to women.

Yes, there are many other factors, but I'm talking about the base factors here.


The problem is when a woman tries to write a woman who is sexy to men, sometimes she writes the woman like she would find a MAN to be sexy. She writes her FL as High on the Bad Girl scale and High on the Nice Girl scale, not knowing that for men, they are the same scale. To women, there are Bad & Nice men, but there are no Bad & Nice girls to men. A bad girl and a nice girl are opposites to most men. You can't be both. When they write both in the same FL, it isn't appealing (unless it's GL, then go for it.)

Conversely, this is often why I find so many MLs written by men to be so god damn shallow. They make them "BAD Boys" or "NICE guys", but they are never a mix of the two, and as such, such MLs are often flat, one dimensional, and frankly, annoying to everyone. They assume it's one or the other, so the character feels... off.

Thanks, I was just looking for different perspectives. A simple explanation would’ve been enough.

 

[AliceMoonvale]

Spoiler: A copy paste because you apparently can't search.

While Reading, Put this on a loop:

Spoiler: SpoilerCeption

WHAT IS "PHYSICS" IN FICTION?"



In fiction, we write stories based on reality, to some extent or another. It can follow reality very closely, like in a normal, slice-of-life romance, or it can have magic, super science, or spirits. It can even be really out there, like Flatland, a book about 2-dimensional life, and have very little do to with the laws of reality, as we know it.



However, by definition, every fictional story has FICTIONAL physics, because the book is... duh... fiction. You, the author, have to decide what rules you are keeping, and what rules you are throwing out. This is simple for most since most authors don't change physics much. Less is more, so most stories have a few changes, stated up front, and then the story tries to be "as normal" as possible from there. But maybe YOU are the exception.





I have developed a series of categories that I use for keeping my fictional setting's altered physics properly segregated so it is easier to keep track, thus avoiding emersion-breaking plot holes.





TERMS

Pataphysics - Imaginary Science (What we cannot conceive)

Metaphysics - Memetic Science (What we conceive)

Isophysics - Normal physics, but in the literary sense. (Objective reality)

Hypophysics - Quantum mechanics, but literary. (Subjective Reality)

Infraphysics - Null science (The science of nothing)

Paraphysics - An altered version of Meta, Iso, or Hypo.







EXAMPLES:

Pataphysics - Something completely alien to the human way of thought. This would be your neverborns or eldritch horrors of Lovecraftian origins. By definition, you cannot conceive Pataphysical concepts.



Metaphysics - This is thought. Pure concepts such as emotions, honor, philosophy, etc.

Para-metaphysics - It's where you take normal human thought and give it new rules that couldn't exist. The physical manifestation of thought would be a para-meta concept.



Isophysics - "Normal" physics, but the thing is, does "normal" physics really exist in writing? For example, 20 bad guys shoot SMGs at MC and nobody hits. This is Isophysics. Yes, it is POSSIBLE, but really, did that make sense? So, it isn't "physics", it's isophysics.



Para-Isophysics - You take physics and add new rules. This is most magic systems.



Hypophysics - Quantum mechanics, but again, literary. This gets a little fuzzy because TECHNICALLY, it should only be what is possible, but we don't know what is or isn't possible. On some level of reality, when you get small enough, perception changes reality. The act of observation alters what you observe. So this would be quantum mechanics as we understand it.



Para-Hypophysics - Quantum physics applied to macro objects. Again, this gets fuzzy. I put the line at "How hard is the Magic System/Super Science?" Para-Hypo is more sci-fi than Para-Iso, IMHO. It's more about how much justification you put into your altered physics. How closely do you "observe" your magic system? if you do a lot of hand waving, it's Para-iso. If you are very specific and detailed, chances are it should fall under para-hypo.



Infraphysics - The Science of NULL. This is a difficult concept to handle. It is the literary science of NOTHING. The absolute lowest end of concepts. Where we are dealing with the absence of everything. There might be a complete absence of matter/energy/thought, but even empty space has rules and permanence. So, if you are dealing with REALLY alien concepts about NOTHING, then you are dealing with Infraphysics.



You will note, that there are no Para versions of Pata or Infra physics. Why? Because it already IS as Para as we can get. There are no ALTERNATE versions of Pata or Infra physics because humans cannot even begin to conceptualize what is NORMAL for these versions of physics, much less what an alternate version of them would be.





IN PRACTICE:



Let's start with Isophysics:



You might say, why make up a new term? Just call it physics and be done with it. Why call it isophysics? Well, all isophysics falls under normal physics, but not all normal physics, falls under isophysics. What I mean is that isophysics are the rules of reality you, the author are KEEPING.



There was a new manga I read called Colorless. In this setting, it has most of the normal laws of physics. Buildings have foundations. People need to eat. Electricity works. That sort of this. All that would fall under isophysics. However, in this setting, there is no color, except for color that has been collected and harvested. This collected color has magical properties. So, under normal physics, there is a spectrum of color, but in this universe, there is not. The new and altered properties of color would fall under Para-Isophysics. Para-iso would be any normal laws of physics that you have changed or new laws that you have added. Typically, you would put most "normal" magic under para-iso.





However, if you are sticking with normal physics, but just pushing the boundary, it stays in Isophysics. Whenever you do something possible, but highly improbable, you should stick it under isophysics and keep an eye on it. Yes, luck exists, but if you use luck too much, it starts to move from isophysics to para-isophysics, and readers do not like it when you start making up powers on the fly to save your MC. It's a useful tool to keep track of "Possible, but improbable" events in your story. if you use them too much, you might want to consider going back to the start of the story and establishing that your MC is very lucky, or has a blessing from a leprechaun, or something, so it becomes easier for your reader to suspend disbelief.







Metaphysics:



Metaphysics is anything that deals with concepts. This is the realm of memes. If you can imagine it, it falls under metaphysics. We all know what thought is, so I hope I don't have to clarify that. However, you might want to get whacky with your memetics, so that becomes Para-metaphysics. Typically, that would be your ghosts, your spirits, gods, that sort of thing. If you want magic that is based off summoning spirits and then the spirits do the magic, that's Para-metaphysics. If your magic has personalities, it's Para-meta. So if you are just dealing with "hard" magic, you'd stick with para-iso, but if you are dealing with praying for spells, summoning spirits, that sort of thing, then you are moving into para-meta.



Now the two do bleed from one into the other. This isn't a hard and fast set of rules. Remember, this is to help YOU, the author, keep track of how you are altering your fictional setting and the changes you are making to reality. So, while a summoned spirit would be Para-meta, the magic it casts could fall under para-iso. It's useful to think of it this way, so that when you are considering "What can my MC do?" you don't make the mistake of making a given power a Swiss army knife. LIMITATIONS ARE GOOD.





People like to see MCs challenged and then overcome those challenges. They also don't like "new" powers that just 'happen' when the situation needs it. If you need the MC to get out of trouble, see if he has an already established ability you can twist and use in a devious manner to save his ass, rather than make something new, or if you must, make sure it's at least adjacent to an established exception.





Pataphysics:



I didn't make up the name. Some French guy did. This is the physics of what we cannot think of. If you can imagine it, it's metaphysics. If you can't, it's pataphysics. A good example of pataphysics is a 4-dimensional hypercube. We are three-dimensional. We cannot see in four dimensions, so we cannot truly "conceive" of a hypercube. We can make a 3-dimensional shadow of one, but in the end, we are just seeing its shadow and trying to imagine what it might look like





(Actually, because the back of our eyes is effectively "flat", we are seeing a 2-dimensional image of a three-dimensional shadow, of a four-dimensional object. Funny that.)



This is pataphysics in a nutshell. It is where you cannot conceive of something, but you can observe how such a thing might interact with what you CAN conceive. So if you are trying to write about truly alien concepts, then it falls under pataphysics. Oddly enough, a good chunk of horror stories use pataphysics. Most physics we can understand, but the utterly alien tends to send chills up one's spine. We can understand some guy chanting and casting fireballs. It's hard to understand why someone, with tears of bubbling pitch streaming down their face, would open three of their seven mouths to chant the song that destroys the world.





Both involve chanting, one is a bit more disturbing.



Pataphysics doesn't have to be terrifying, however. Look at Terry Pratchett's The Colour of Magic. Magic has a colour that we cannot see unless you are a magic user yourself. it is the 8th color. This would be Pataphysical. It's just a nice, yet alien touch to the story. I also like the part where he describes an object as being so cold it is ANTI-BOILING the water around it. So if you want to add just a pinch of the alien to your story, consider googling prefixes and suffixes and then take some concepts from your story and just mix and match. See what you can come up with.





Hypophysics:



Hypophysics is another word for quantum physics. Again, it is the physics you are keeping, hence why we use this term instead of quantum physics. Hypophysics is about the rules that govern very small things as well as minute details. When you try to observe very small objects, it gets increasingly difficult the smaller it is. For example, you need a microscope to see single-cell organisms. To go smaller, you might use an electron microscope. However, an electron microscope works by shooting a stream of electrons at an object. There is a limit to how small you can go with this.



Let's say you are trying to look at a single proton. If you used an electron microscope, this would be like trying to find out what color a beach ball is in a totally dark room by firing a stream of billard balls at it, then observing where the eight-ball bounced off to. This is what they mean when they say that the act of observing an object changes the object.





On a quantum level, perception changes the object you are looking at. If you took a stream of photons, trying to detect packets of energy, you will find packets of energy. if you switch to detecting for waves instead of particles, you will CHANGE the particles into waves. So if you have a stream of light that you split into two, and you start detecting for particles on one, and waves on the other, you will get 50% and 50% each. However, if you put a detector that detects only waves before the splitter, it will change the beam into 100% waves and you will stop detecting particles.



What's strange, is that this can work in reverse, changing the photons retroactively one way or the other.



All sorts of strangeness occurs with quantum mechanics. Teleportation, tunneling, entanglement, and some REALLY strange stuff that seems to break the speed of light and conservation of matter and energy. However, it has limits. You can't walk through walls. You can't teleport a person.



But what if you COULD?



That's where Para-hypophysics comes in. If you are dealing with super-science instead of straight-up magic, then chances are you are dealing with para-hypophysics. When you want to break the speed of light, you might turn your MC into a macro-tachyon. You know what a sonic boom is, right? What if you want to break the light barrier? Would that be a "Luminal Boom"? What the hell would that even look like?



Para-hypophysics is like a scalpel, whereas Para-iso is more of a sledgehammer. The "science" of Star Trek is mostly straight-up magic when you think about it, but the writers (used to) put in a lot of effort to TRY and connect it to real-world physics. There is no reason you cannot mix and match. You see, while I'm mostly splitting it up by Fantasy being para-iso and Super Science being para-hypo, it's not quite that simple.



Para-hypo is more about how perception alters reality, and Para-iso is more about altered objective reality. A wizard just says, "By my will be done" and casts his spell. The scientist needs to justify what he is doing. He has to perceive how the magic works. He needs a full framework in his mind of all the steps. So a "hard" magic system would fall under Para-hypo, because you are getting down into the nitty gritty. Most very complex magic systems in a LitRPG would technically fall under para-hypo.



If you do a lot of hand-waving, or magic isn't that central to your story, you can keep most of it in Para-iso. However, if you plan on getting down into the details of how the system works, you are "Observing" it in great detail, then it's Para-hypo. Note, that this isn't a hard limit here. Again, these are just ways of keeping concepts subdivided so it is easier to keep track of how your setting works.





Infraphysics:



Finally, we get to the strangest of the categories. The physics of nothing. What is nothing? And I mean, Null, Not Zero, because zero is a number and therefore exists. I'm talking about Nul, where you don't even have a ZERO. What is empty space? Is the void actually something? If you had a box with a true vacuum in it, and no light or any form of radiation or bosons of any sort passed through, and you brought it down to absolute zero inside the box, is anything there?



Oddly enough, yes. If you could take something down to true absolute zero, the universe would force the temperature back up via virtual particles, thus creating energy. If you could keep harvesting it, you could achieve what is called, zero-point energy. Which is basically taking reality and dividing by zero and somehow getting a result.





Alas, since the conservation of matter and energy exists, you don't get it for free. What you are doing is converting reality into energy. Imagine that the world was on a grid, like most video games. You have to place things on the grid, or objects snap to the grid for placement. Zero Point energy would be like burning the grid ITSELF for fuel. In other words, using the very fabric of the universe for kindling. On paper, it sounds nice. I bet there would be some problems if we actually pulled it off.



If you are dealing with concepts like this, you are dealing with infraphysics. But it would also cover the use of "null" in general. Another example would be how you view magic working. In Forgotten Realms, magic works because of "The Weave", but the goddess Shar noticed that the weave left gaps. The weave casts a "shadow" between the threads of the weave. So the goddess of night used this "shadow weave" to set up an alternate power source for magic that allowed her to get around the goddess of magic's stranglehold on magic.



Perhaps you view magic as gathering mana and then releasing it. An alternate method might be to "dig a hole" in reality. To create a "mana vacuum" that then, due to thermodynamics, causes mana to flow into the "negative space", and thus a way of using the mana around you without "gathering" it. So if normal magic users gather magic into themselves and then use that to cast magic, this "vacuum magic" would be more about clawing a hole in reality, than stealing mana from sources around you to "fill up" the hole.



Infraphysics is a hard concept to tackle. It's the exact opposite of Pataphysics. At least pataphysics allows you to infer what you cannot conceive by observing how the inconceivable interacts with the conceivable. With infraphysics, you literally have NOTHING TO WORK WITH. It is more of "the edge of the map" than a concept that you would use for organizing the laws of your fictional setting, but if you are the sort who likes to play around with "Things Man Was Never Ment To Know", then this category is definately somewhere on your "To Do" list for things to play with.


CONCLUSION:



Think of these categories as just the way to order things so that when you are considering adding in a new power, or exception to the laws of physics, you can properly compare it to the other exceptions you have already added and say to yourself, "Does this add anything to the story, or is there a better way to do this? Have I changed too much, or does this fit in with what I'm doing?



For example, if your story is a romance where the magic system revolves around summoning sexy nymphs and fluttering faeries to cast spells and do magic, it wouldn't make much sense to have the Villain use laser blasters and robots. Now summoning spirits to shoot lightning bolts, or binding them into corpses to create an undead army, that fits much better.

-------------------------------------

HOW LONG TO WRITE A CHAPTER.

I spend up to twelve hours thinking about a chapter, then slam it out in an hour. There are many steps to writing. Planning is part of writing.

Editing is the part that takes the most time. Learn how to be your own editor.

-------------------------------------

What About the first chapter?

1) The first sentence is what grabs my attention to read the first paragraph.
2) The first paragraph is what sells the first chapter.
3) The first chapter gives me a question that the reader should be curious about and your book should be the only way to answer that question.

I have a pattern.

Single Line at the start of the chapter to be a zinger.

Then I have a little exposition at the start of most chapters.

A paragraph explaining the setup.
Paragraphs are broken up by topic.
Occasionally a one-liner where I hit the reader with a single idea.




I will sometimes put something all by itself after many carriage returns to make it ESPECIALLY stand out.


Then, finally, I try to have a final zinger line to end the chapter on.



It's cheap psychological manipulation, but it works.

How about an example?

Spoiler: original

Author Note: This is my first time writing a novel, so bear with me now.



"Keugh... is this.. how I leave this world?" He coughs blood, and after a slight pause he laughs and smiles. "Oh well, whatever all I can do now is hope."

My life was full of stupid shit honestly, I never spent my time well.. if I could I wish I could go to a different world like Murim with some system, man, I should've stopped reading those weird novels, but whatever honestly, in the end, it's the survival of the fittest, even in this so-called "comfortable" world. All I hope now is that I at least don't go to hell, or get reborn, since me going to Heaven is the equivalent of letting a crazy murderer not go to jail while being caught.

"G-goodbye you shitty world." he tries to yell out loud while on the concrete ground, but only to output a barely audible voice with a lot of people looking down at him in worry, with sirens in the background.

Suddenly, he wakes up on a bunch of leaves and some grass, with rays of sun on his face. Still not comprehending what has happened, he looks around to see many tall trees with lots of leaves on them. He then feels a different type of clothing on his body, he sees himself wearing a red and black Hanfu. (I believe a Hanfu is the things people wear in wuxia or murim please tell me what the name is of what they wear.) When he tries to look around he notices his long hair going all the way down to his upper back. Upon noticing all of these details, he begins to check if he still has his manhood.

"Oh... thank god, I'm still a man." He redirects his attention back to his surroundings. "So where am I? By the looks of it it seems like I'm in a different universe?" He begins to remember the life he's lived giving him a irritated expression on his face. "AGH! Whatever, I just need to be better then last time, this time I will try to actually do something with my life."

And then out of nowhere a blue square appears right in front of him, not bounded by gravity or the laws of physics.

[Initializing...]

After looking in confusion for a little bit, a light begins to pop up in his head, causing him to grin a little bit at the realization of what has just appeared right in front him.

"My god, haha... is that a fucking system!? Please let it be a system and not just me being crazy." At those words the blue square begins to show numbers indicating the percentage of something.

[Initializing... 4% 7% 13% 25% 43% 77% 99%]

"What the hell, I'm not hallucinating? It really is a system!"

[Initializing... 100% Congratulations, Thank You For Playing Our Game!"

Spoiler: My offered rewrite

"Keugh... is this.. how I leave this world?"



Melvin was dying. he held his hand to his mouth as he coughed and pulled his cupped hand away to look at it. The odd mix of blood and mucus actually distracted him from the sucking chest wound for a few seconds. For just a moment, he forgot there was a small bullet hole in his back and the frickin Holand Tunnel out the front.

He fell to his knees, not quite sure who shot him in the back. Given the time of day, it was most likely anyone who knew his schedule. That meant this assassination was a betrayal, "Oh well, whatever all I can do now is hope."

The funny thing was, he had just realized he was doing things wrong. His whole life he'd be a bastard. He'd only thought about number one. He justified it with how life had treated him. His father was a working stiff who never got anywhere. Mom always bitched at dad and only thought about how much happier she could have been if she had only married Jack back in college.

Melvin spent most of his childhood getting the crap beat out of him, so as soon as he had his chance to get ahead, he took it. He had learned nobody cares, so he cared about no one. He was a very good liar and got ahead by backstabbing, betraying, and never ever showing mercy.


One day, that changed.


He realized everything he did was to get back at the people who beat the crap out of him. Everyone he hurt, was just an attempt to make things "right" to make things fair. But one day he realized something. He was just evil.

It started small. he couldn't do his job. He couldn't focus. he started trying to stop, get out. Nothing made him happy anymore so he just stopped doing drugs, stopped having sex, and stopped doing everything. He finally made up his mind. He was going to quit.

Unfortunately, his partners figured it out first.

Now he was face first on the sidewalk, people screaming, people running. He doubted anyone would catch the bastard who killed him, nor would anyone care. He just stared at the growing pool of blood under himself as he thought, ~Honestly, I really was going to try and fix things.~ He closed his eyes, ~Ah well, at least there's a special place in Hell for someone like me.~

Now, compare these two What is the QUESTION?
The original: What is this guy going to do?
My Rewrite: Is this guy going to make good on turning over a new leaf?

Which question is more compelling? Which one is more likely to get you to read to the end of the book to find out?

People like a question that goes somewhere and isn't open-ended. Keep that in mind.

-----------------------------------

On Dialogue

"When having a conversation I have words inside quotations and get rid of the word 'said' whenever possible." Eldritch had discovered that people are smart enough to figure it out for themselves, "You just need a comma and some quotes to get people to know who is talking. The important part is to start a new chapter whenever the speaking subject changes.

My imagination interrupted, "This would be an example of that." It looked around and wiggled its tendrils, "Actions can be done by anyone and rolled into the paragraph." Eldritch nodded as my Imagination continued, "As long as who is talking inside the quotes remains the same."

"So Expositions should be all at the start of the chapter, with maybe a small wrap-up at the end, but if you get in the habit of having conversations like this, you can group things up in a way that is easier on the reader's eyes. It knows where one speaker ends and another begins. In fact, if you keep up the pattern, you won't even need to point out who is talking, the reader will figure it out by style of speech, or the fact only two people are talking."

However, there is a problem...

How to have the conversation sound... different.

Step 1: JUST WRITE THE CONVERSATION. Alternate between who is talking keeping the words spoken seperated

A: You suck
B: no you suck
A: You really suck
C: you both suck.
A & B in unison: Go Away, C. Nobody likes you.

Step 2: Sprinkle in what actions they do while talking. Give each one a signature action. Write it out as a Spread sheet.

WHEN: Angry, Sad, Happy, Emotionless, Fear, Awe, Scare, Hopeless, Frustrated, Hopeful

Like: Angry: Gestures Wildly
Happy: Smiles
Scared: His eyes go wide

Blah Blah Blah. but make sure you use the same 'action' for the emotion EVERY TIME so the reader can pick up on it. Just me, they'll figure it out if YOU are consistent.

THEN...

GO TO CHAT GPT

Take your dialogue and feed it in to the machine by saying:

REPHRASE THE FOLLOWING DIALOGUE AS IF A [Blank] WAS SPEAKING.

Keep it simple. No more than 3 words.

Spoiler: ORIGNAL

Jacob lowered his head to look at the floor, "I dunno why I tried so hard to save him. Matter of pride I guess. Didn't want anyone accusing me of slacking. But... nothing I could do. I didn't even know what to do." He looked up and around, "This is right before NanaMed, by the way." He turned back tot he Professor, "Crazy thing. Right before he died he grabs me and says, 'Thanks for trying. It's acceptable. I am glad I got to meet a human."

He scratched the back of his neck, "It boggled me. No idea what the fuck that meant. Then I looked into it and it turns out one of the races who's asses we kicked had done the same thing to the Icconians." He looked around the room, "The first time it occurred to me that you guys weren't all on the same team. Maybe blaming all of you for my shitty life wasn't the smart way to go." He shrugged, "So when I got out of the army, I quit being an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Sorry. You mightn't know what that is."

"Anti-xenos" He explained, "Spelled AX. It's something you use on earth to chop things up. So people who actively hate all aliens called themselves Axers." He shrugged, "Anyways. Fast forward to last year. I was looking into school that taught xenobiology so I could be a better medic and learned about this place. I signed up and..." He shrugged, "I got accepted." He snapped his finger, "But, I'm broke. So... I ran a go fund me." He looked around, "Uh, basically a way to beg for money from strangers." He shrugged, "Anyways. it wasn't getting much money, but... it did get noticed by some former axers I knew."

Jacob looked up at the professor, "So I was working at a local clinic. I had gotten out of the army by then and this guy walks up to me and asks me my name and I knew something was up." He gestured to his armpit, "Now, former military is allowed to conceal carry weapons. It's a perk. I think he was expecting me to be unarmed." He make his hand into a gun shape, "He shot three times, hit me twice, and I had a Watt Pistol." Jacob 'fired' his hand, "Got him between the eyes and that's all she wrote."

He shrugged, "Next thing you know, the government is using this as Anti-Axer propaganda. Everyone on the planet learned about the shooting and money comes flowing into the go fund me and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I am. A strange, bumpy, and crazy road to get here, but I'm here."

Spoiler: Old West Cowboy

Jacob tilted his hat down, eyes on the ground. "Can't rightly say why I put in so much effort tryin' to save him. Reckon it was just pride, not wantin' folks thinkin' I was some kind of slacker. But... nothin' I could do. Didn't have the first clue what I was doin'." He lifted his gaze, lookin' around. "This was just before NanaMed, if you’re wonderin'." Turned back to the Professor, "Crazy thing though, right before he bit the dust, he grabs me and says, 'Thanks for tryin'. It's fine. Glad I got to meet a human.'"

He rubbed the back of his neck, "That one had me scratchin' my head. Didn't have a clue what in tarnation he meant. So I looked into it, turns out one of them races we thrashed had done the same thing to the Icconians." His eyes drifted around the room, "First time it hit me that y'all weren't ridin' for the same brand. Maybe blamin' y'all for my rotten luck wasn't the brightest idea." He shrugged, "So, when I got outta the army, I quit bein' an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Oh, sorry, guess you might not know what that is."

"Anti-xenos," he explained, "spelled AX. It's like somethin' you'd use back home to chop wood. So folks who hated all aliens called themselves Axers." He shrugged again, "Anyhow, fast forward to last year. I was searchin' for a school teachin' xenobiology so I could patch folks up better, stumbled across this place. Threw my hat in the ring and..." He shrugged, "got accepted." He snapped his finger again, "But, I was dead broke. So... I set up a go fund me." He glanced around, "Uh, that’s just a fancy way of beggin' folks for money." Another shrug, "It wasn’t pullin' in much cash, but... it did catch the eye of some old Axer buddies."

Jacob looked up at the professor, "So there I was, workin' at a local clinic, already out of the army, when this fella strolls up, asks for my name. Knew somethin' was off." He patted his side, "Now, ex-military's got the right to carry concealed. It’s a perk. Guess he figured I’d be unarmed." He shaped his hand like a gun, "Fired three shots, hit me twice, but I had a Watt Pistol." Jacob ‘fired’ his hand, "Put one right between his eyes, and that was the end of that."

He shrugged again, "Next thing I know, the government’s usin' this as Anti-Axer fodder. Everyone and their granny heard about the shootout, and money starts pourin' into the go fund me, and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I am. The road here was as rough as a tumbleweed in a dust storm, but I made it."

Spoiler: 16th century Nobleman

Jacob inclined his head, casting his gaze to the floor. "I know not why I exerted myself so greatly in an effort to save him. Mayhaps it was a matter of honor, for I desired not to be seen as indolent. Yet... there was naught I could do. I lacked the knowledge of how to proceed." He lifted his eyes, glancing about. "This occurred just prior to the advent of NanaMed, I should mention." He then turned to face the Professor, "A most curious thing happened. Just before he succumbed to his wounds, he seized my hand and said, 'I thank you for your efforts. It is well. I am grateful to have encountered a human.'"

He absently rubbed the back of his neck, "I was perplexed, truly. I could not fathom what he meant by those words. Upon further investigation, I discovered that one of the races we vanquished had inflicted the same upon the Icconians." He looked around the chamber, "It was the first time it dawned upon me that you were not all united under the same banner. Perhaps placing the blame upon you all for the misfortunes in my life was not the wisest course." He gave a slight shrug, "Thus, when I left the army, I abandoned my ways as an Axer." He snapped his fingers, "Ah, I apologize. You may not be familiar with the term."

"Anti-xenos," he clarified, "spelled AX. It refers to an implement used on Earth for hewing wood. Those who harbored hatred for all alien beings styled themselves as Axers." He shrugged once more, "Nevertheless, to move the tale forward to the past year. I sought out a place of learning that imparted the study of xenobiology, that I might become a more proficient medic, and thus, I learned of this institution. I applied and..." He gave another shrug, "I was accepted." He snapped his fingers again, "But, alas, I found myself destitute. Thus... I resorted to a go fund me." He cast a glance around, "In essence, it is a manner by which one solicits alms from strangers." He gave yet another shrug, "It did not yield much coin, but... it did attract the attention of some former Axers of my acquaintance."

Jacob lifted his gaze to the professor, "So, there I was, laboring at a local infirmary, having already left the army, when a man approached me, inquiring as to my name. I sensed immediately that something was amiss." He gestured towards his side, "Now, veterans are granted the privilege of carrying concealed weapons. It is a benefit. I suspect he expected me to be unarmed." He mimed a pistol with his hand, "He discharged his weapon thrice, striking me twice, yet I bore a Watt Pistol." Jacob mimicked firing the pistol, "I struck him between the eyes, and thus ended the matter."

He shrugged yet again, "Before long, the government seized upon this incident as fodder for Anti-Axer rhetoric. Word of the shooting spread throughout the land, and soon, funds poured into the go fund me, and..." He spread his hands wide, "Here I stand. The path that brought me hither was most strange, tumultuous, and unpredictable, yet I have arrived."

Spoiler: Fantasy Saloon Barkeep

Jacob lowered his head, staring at the floor as he spoke. "Ain't rightly sure why I put so much effort into saving him," he muttered. "Pride, maybe. Didn’t want folks thinkin’ I was slackin’. But… there weren’t nothin’ I could do. Didn’t even know where to start.” He glanced up and around the room, adding, “This was right before NanaMed, mind ye.” Turning back to the professor, he continued, “Funny thing, though. Just before he passed, he grabs hold of me and says, ‘Thanks for tryin’. It’s acceptable. Glad I got to meet a human.’”

Jacob scratched the back of his neck, a puzzled look crossing his face. “That threw me for a loop. Didn’t have the slightest idea what he meant. Later on, I dug into it and found out that one of the races we’d whooped had done the same to the Icconians.” He cast a glance around the room, “First time it hit me that y’all weren’t on the same side. Maybe blamin’ all of you for my own miserable life wasn’t the wisest course.” He shrugged, “So when I left the army, I gave up bein’ an Axer.” He snapped his fingers as if to jog a memory, “Oh, sorry. Might be you don’t know what that is.”

“Anti-xenos,” he explained, “Spelled AX. It’s somethin’ you use on earth to chop things up. So, folks who hated all aliens started callin’ themselves Axers.” He shrugged again, “Anyways, fast forward to last year. I started lookin’ into schools that taught xenobiology so I could be a better medic and came across this place. Signed up and…” He shrugged, “Got accepted.” Another snap of his fingers, “But I’m broke. So… I ran one of them go fund me deals.” He looked around sheepishly, “Uh, that’s just a way to beg money off strangers.” He shrugged once more, “Didn’t bring in much, but… it caught the eye of some old Axer pals of mine.”

Jacob looked the professor in the eye, “So there I was, workin’ at a local clinic. I’d already left the army by then, and this fella walks up, asks me my name, and I knew somethin’ was up.” He gestured towards his armpit, “Now, folks who’ve served in the military get to carry concealed weapons. It’s a perk. I reckon he thought I’d be unarmed.” He shaped his hand like a gun, “He fires three shots, hits me twice, but I had a Watt Pistol on me.” He mimed firing his hand, “Put one right between his eyes, and that was the end of that.”

He shrugged once more, “Next thing I know, the government’s usin’ this whole mess as Anti-Axer propaganda. Suddenly, everyone on the planet knew about the shootin’, and money started pourin’ into that go fund me.” He spread his hands wide, “And here I am. A strange, bumpy, and downright crazy road to get here, but here I am.”

As you can see, it needs a lot of work, but you can look at it and keep only a few bits and bobs and then rework it until it fits what you want. If you keep the three words for the Each Character the same and consistantly use ChatGPT to "flavor" the text, it will still be your writing, but it will be as if you uses a thesaurus.

It just speeds things up.

DON'T let ChatGPT write the dialogue. It SUCKS and making shit up.


------------------------------------------------------

HOW TO BE YOUR OWN EDITOR

1. Write the chapter yourself.

2. Run it through a simple spell checker like Word.

3. Go to ChatGPT and type "Rephrase The Following Paragraph" Take one paragraph of at least 3 sentences and save it in a separate file. Feed that paragraph to ChatGPT. Copy the resulting paragraph to a separate file. Make a hybrid paragraph of the best of both.

4. Repeat step 3 until you have done every paragraph.

5. Turn on Grammerly. Just use the spell-checking feature. Screw the suggestions.

6. Go through your chapter to search for the following words:
Suddenly
Very/really
Started
Just
Somewhat/slightly
Somehow
Seem(s)
Definitely
If you see any of these words, reconsider them. Usually, these words are misused. If someone is speaking, no problem, but outside of the conversation, they usually are a bad sign.

7. If any sections don't feel right use the following at random:
prowritingaid.com/rephrase
sudowrite.com/app
writesonic.com/
But they do not allow unlimited use, so just use these occasionally to get a different perspective on how you phrased something.

8. Put it through Text Edit and turn on the text-to-speech feature. Listen to the chapter and fix it as it reads it out loud to you.

9. Go through and check for words that you keep using over and over. Using the same word too often will stand out. Try to have at least three different ways of referring to any main character. Avoid using the same word more than once in any given paragraph, or at least no more than once a page (pronouns/conjunctions not included, obviously). The English language is incredibly diverse, so the more you force yourself to get creative using alternatives, the more interesting your work is.

10. Turn on Grammerly one last time for spell-checking.

-----------------

START AT THE END.

You need to know what the ending of a plotline is, At least the final gut punch you plan for the reader to have. You can have an epilogue afterward, but you need that final scene in your head at least. Just writing because "I have a cool idea." Doesn't work. You need to know the ending.

Most books are three acts.

You need a plot that starts then finishes in Act/Act, in order of importance:
1/3
1/1
3/3
2/2
1/2
2/3

What I mean is you introduce a plot in Act 1, then it ends in Act 3, followed by Act 1 ends in Act 1.

The overall plot, that goes from plot 1 to plot 3 is the most important, but 1/1 is the second most important because it KEEPS THE READER READING.

That means, before you start the story, you need to have 6 endings. I don't care how much you write it out, but you need 6 plots and 6 plot endings. ANYTHING ELSE IS BOTH UNNEEDED AND DANGEROUS. You also need to know how the plot STARTS. So you need 6 beginnings and 6 endings. However, if you work those out ahead of time, everything else is just filler to get the story to move from one key scene to the next.

For example:

1/3: Joe is summoned and he has to defeat the demon lord
1/1: Joe is dropped into a strange situation and needs to adjust.
3/3: Joe will have a setback he needs to overcome
2/2: Joe will go on a training montage.
1/2: Joe will encounter the miniboss and have to overcome them.
2/3: Joe will have a romance subplot where he meets a girl and they fall in love by the end.

So three things begin in the first act, 2 starts in the second, 1 in the last.
There is one conclusion in the first, 2 in the second, then 3 in the ending
(and if you do it well, it all comes together in one scene.)

It's simple, it's formulaic, IT WORKS.

If you do this, you won't "write in the wrong direction" because you know where the ending is. Once you work out those 6 starts and 6 ends, everything else in the book is just connective tissue.


--------------------


If you are having problems making a character Here's my cheat sheet


Name
Race
Apparent Age
Actual Age
Sex
Gender
Height
Weight
Eye Color
Hair Color
Parents (How many, Sex, general Relations)
Place of birth

Current mental Age group: (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Where PC/NPC spent their (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Note Worthy Events of (Childhood/teen Age/Young Adult/Older Adult/Elder)
Current Socio-Economic Standing (Poor/Lower Class/Middle Class/Upper Class/SuperRich)

Stats: 1-5
Physical: Strength/Dexterity/Stamina
Social: Charisma/Manipulation/Appearance
Mental: Intelligence/Wisdom/Perception

Morality (scale of 1-5)
Good-Evil (Objective Morality)
Right-Wrong (Subjective Morality)
Legal-Crime (Social Morality)
Positive-Negative (Outcome Morality)

I go with the 1-5 scale with occasionally 0 or 5+

Nobody lives in a vacuum. However, everyone rhymes. get in your head the above groups and some stereotypical traits for each.

A guy whose morality is Objective 1, Subjective 1, Social 5, Outcome 1 is the kind of guy who believes in "Good" Outside himself and seeks to internalize it. he thinks society is corrupt, and willing to commit crimes if the outcome is positive.

ie Batman.

Charisma is personality, Manipulation is how controlling you can be, and appearance is how you look.

So your typical otome Villainess is a Chr 1, Manip 4, App 4.

When you get good at it, you can "shorthand" a character with ease

--------------------------

How to self-motivate:

Tell yourself, "NO ONE LOVES YOU! YOU ARE A WASTE OF SKIN! YOU ARE ONLY WORTH SOMETHING WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING! IF YOU AREN'T DOING SOMETHING, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? EVERY MOMENT YOU WASTE NOT DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, A BABY KITTEN DIES! IF YOU ONLY TRIED HARDER, THERE WOULD BE LESS DEAD LOVED ONES IN YOUR LIFE! EVERYONE YOU EVER LOVED THAT DIED IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WORK HARD ENOUGH!"

Then I get back to writing.

---------------------------

On units of measurement:

If you are describing units of measurement, sometimes you want to be vague. Metaphors are usually a good way to go.

The tree was as far from me as I was close to touching a girl's boob.
The events he reminded me of were as far past as the last good Star Wars movie.
His eyes were as far apart from one another as the distance between me and my father.

OR you can go with something to compare it to:

He was closing in on me, a mere two car lengths behind.
She was about half the size of the Statue of Liberty.
In the time it takes me to finish having sex with my wife, the song was over.

If you WANT to be specific, you can, but you need to be careful and consistent. Using actual numbers means the reader will track those numbers, so make sure your math is right.

And If you wanna use metrics in your story, go ahead. It's your story.
But I always use "We put a flag on the fuckin' moon" units.

--------------------------

On How Much You Write:

Brevity is the soul of wit.
When you write anything ask yourself is it World Building, Character Building, Plot Development, or Fluff. YOU DON'T NEED FLUFF. If possible, every line should do two or three things.

Something pounded into my head was, "WHAT CAN YOU CUT OUT OF YOUR STORY?"

Every word you include is a fraction of a second to read. Every fraction adds up. Time is the currency of exchange between an author and a reader. I am asking you for time. I am asking you to SPEND TIME ON ME. So, I go through and I pare it down. Carefully and deliberately ask myself, "What Does This Bring To The Story? Is it redundant? Have I already told this to the reader? Does repeating it serve a purpose? If not, how do I cut it? If it is new, then how can I make it serve a second purpose? Is there a way to have this information have a second meaning? A third meaning? Can I combine it with something else? Will It change when the reader knows the ending and will it be BETTER? Is there a better plot point I can use instead? Can I subvert their expectations and give them something BETTER than they expected and if so, how much can I keep hidden from the reader so they truly can't see it coming, yet will think it was obvious in retrospect?"

Smaller. Tighter. More concentrated. BIG is the enemy. Flowery fluffy filler is a sign of weakness. Hit him hard, let the reader breathe, then hit him again, but short rabbit punches.

I know that quality is what matters, but in the back of my head, I have this Big Is Evil, hang-up. 500k Well Written Words is fine. the 500k isn't the problem.

Except it's a problem.

Part of me wonders, like it or not, is it too much? Then I say, "If it's quality, then it doesn't matter. You can have large quantities of quality. It does happen."

Then I say, "No it doesn't. You arrogant FOOL!"

------------

BEST TIME TO POST CHAPTERS

The best time is subjective, just be consistent.
HOWEVER...

I have anecdotal evidence that the best time is 12:01 am local time so you have the maximum amount of exposure to the algorithm. To get the most amount of "hits", post once every three days for maximum return. But that's just my own systematic testing of the system. Take it with a boulder of salt.

------------------------------------------

ON WRITING FANFICTION

Step 1: STOP. TEARING. YOURSELF. DOWN.

If you start by thinking, "This is going to be crap" then you will succeed in making crap.


Step 2: Become a scholar on the subject.

If you haven't, watch the show. Maybe watch it again. Make a point of watching an episode every day. NON-STOP. Unless you are a freak like me who can remember obscure details from one watching of an episode, they you need to learn the material.

For example, if you said, "What's the name of that computer that accidentally kills a redshirt by hooking up directly to the warp-"
ME: "The M5"

I can't remember the names of my co-workers who I have worked with for 5 years now, but the name of a AI that killed a RedShirt in a ST:tOS episode I watched once when I was 12? THAT'S EASY. So unless you are a freak like me, STUDY YOUR MATERIAL. Which also means that you need to WATCH OTHER VIDEO Essays on the subject. Bad takes. Good Takes. You need as many PoVs as you can get on the material.

You need to LEARN THE CHARACTERS BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL CREATOR.


Step 3: DO NOT SELF INSERT.

Every Author needs to write what they know, and who do you know better than yourself? However, you are new at this. Are you ready for when the readers start to TEAR YOUR SELF-INSERT APART? When they call your Self-Insert a little BITCH, or a sociopath, or a cunt, or systematically explain why the self-insert is a total loser and tear apart every flaw they have and basically vivasect your self-insert alive in front of you, are you going to be able to take that?

I am. I got no problem with that. I love having my flaws exposed and pointed out. It's a great way to grow and improve as a person. I went on a talk show once on Youtube and got RIPPED APART, but you know something? I grew from the experience. It hurt, but I learned something about myself and I became a better man.

How about you, mister, "I'm cutting my own legs out from under myself by assuming my story is going to suck before I even write it"? You gonna grow from having your self-insert's soul shredded before you? I don't think you are up for that.

However, it is okay to use ELEMENTS from your life. Personality quirks, but KEEP IT TO A MINIMUM.


Step 4: Craft your Isekai OC character Well.

A. Read up on isekai.
B. Determine if they will want to stay or strive to return.
C. Do they know the setting and story? How well?
D. What is their weakness? A MC without a weakness to overcome and grow is a lame MC.
E. What is their Strength?

You should give your MC some sort of perk. Something they are GREAT at. Yes, you can make them superstrong, or the best water bender, or they have multiple elements they can control, or they can control... nothing, but they have access to the internet.

ONE. PERK.

Yes, you COULD have them be Superman in A:tLA, but you are new. You do not know what you are doing. ONE PERK ONLY. Make them have to get creative. Maybe the only power they have IS being creative. They are a water bender, but they know how to make Steam, Ice, or Ice-7, which only forms under 30,000 Atmospheres of pressure. or they can break down Water into Hydrogen and Oxygen and make the air flammable.

Whatever it is establish it in the FIRST CHAPTER. your readers will put up with as much BS as you want to shovel in the first chapter as you want. HOWEVER, after that first chapter, you need to make everything a LOGICAL CONCLUSION FROM THAT.

"And THEN". not "Just HAPPENS"
Meaning, A leads to B leads to C leads to D.
Not A HAPPENS. B HAPPENS. C HAPPENS.
Consequences. Cause and effect. One thing causes another.

Step 5: Your OC should never overshadow the IP's original Characters.

Go to my Sig file. Read Hotrod Lantern.

the OC is Ungodly powerful. However, he STILL needed to be saved by the original IP characters. He HELPED them, but in the end, they had dealt with people MUCH more powerful than him in the past, so while he had his moments, he wasn't the top dog.

The main problem you will have is finding ways to make your OC LOSE. How to have him fail. Cost him. You need to kick him in the teeth. You need to make him WORK at it. At least once in your story, ask yourself, WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD LOGICALLY HAPPEN AS A CONSEQUENCE? Then have it happen. Don't hit him with a Meteor. Have his actions come back to bite him. He's sneaking in somewhere? He trips and activates the alarm. Whatever it is, at some point things should go WRONG.

Then have him scramble to fix it.


Step 6: Don't have everyone like him, unless his one perk is he's super likable.

If he knows the story, acting super chummy with the Main Characters will often set off red flags. How does he know how I like my tea? How DOES he know my nickname? What would YOU do if a complete stranger suddenly dropped into your life and knew everything about you and just kept smiling around you all the time?

You'd Freak the fuck out, that's what.

Make him WORK to become friends. Have him fuck up. Have him want to get busy with one of the babes and have her flat out REJECT HIM. BTW, the Subject matter? SEX AND ROMANCE IS RIGHT OUT. Unless you are making THAT sort of fanfic, this type of setting does NOT lend itself well to any sort of relationship, unless it's FRIENDSHIP. You said you wanted to be serious? Well, KEEP IT SERIOUS AND RESPECT THE SETTING.



Step 7: You need a REAL character.

What does this mean? The Reader will swallow anything in the first chapter, after that, he needs to ACT LIKE A REAL HUMAN.

Ryan is the MC of HKN. If you drop him in the middle of Hell, he will crack his neck, sigh, then get to work being a hero. Why? BECAUSE I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I put Ryan through HELL. I spent 20 chapters kicking him in the TEETH. I made him SUFFER. However, that all said. Now? Now it is totally in character for him to just look at any problem or threat, roll up his sleeves, and get to work.

Jack, is a goddamn coward. He acts in his own self interest FIRST. Yes, he does heroic things, reluctantly. Plus, he sucks. He is a REAL person with REAL goals and REAL REACTIONS.

If the MC sees a problem and goes, "No problem". beats up all the bad guys, never acts scared, never worries about anything, constantly makes jokes, and basically acts like nothing matters, then the reader will think nothing matters. Ryan can act like nothing matters, because he is suicidal and wants to DIE. You know his blase attitude stems from his pain. He throws himself into danger because he wants to be reunited with his dead wife. Ryan acts like a blase hero, because he is dead inside and part of his journey is learning to become a Real hero by actually CARING.

See the difference? Ryan is a wise cracking never say die hero because he's insane. You know why he acts the way he does and it's SAD. Occationally the pain leaks out. There are moments the facade cracks.

Don't try and do that. Stick to a NORMAL DUDE in an extraordinary situation.



-------------------------------------------------------------


ON TIME TRAVEL

Establish rules on Time Travel lest you completely fubar your story.

I myself have the omnipresent now, but with enough chronoenergy, you can create limited change in time.

Time is a series of beads on a string. You enter a bead and possibilities expand until you get to halfway through the bead, then possibilities contract until you get to the exit. However, you do not move in a set path, but your path is a series of beads inside a larger bead, inside a larger bead, until you get to a bead that is THE CURRENT UNIVERSE.

To change a bead, you have to obey the conservation of energy. Meaning, you need chronoenergy. Try to change too large a bead, it fails.

Going into the future is easy, but it doesn't matter. To go beyond the Omnipresent Now is just a 'What if' and nothing is set in stone until universal 'Now' catches up. If you run out of energy on your trip, you snap back to NOW.

The energy is used to 'fix paradoxes' For example, you go back in time, kill your own grandpa. You return to the present. If you had enough energy, that's fine. You are still alive. You are now a Neverwere. Maybe you go back in time and convince yourself to be evil. Now you return to the present there are two of you. You are now a Meanwhile.

The conservation of matter and energy is balanced by Chronoenergy. However, there is only so much in my setting. In fact, it's running out. The end of everything is Neigh. There are only a few million years left, and every immortal in existence is fighting over the last remaining scraps of time left.

That way, when readers go, "PARADOX!!! THAT DOESN'T WORK!!!" I go, "He had enough chronoenergy to pay for it." and move on.


------------------------------------


ON THE NATURE OF POWER


Power does NOT corrupt.
Addiction to power corrupts.
If one can avoid addiction to power, power reveals one's true nature.
An evil man with power will be evil, a good man will not.
Alas, dopamine is a hell of a drug.
A good man addicted usually tries to justify his actions by at least lying to himself, an evil man becomes a horror.



-----------------------------------


ON THE NATURE OF SEX APPEAL:

Sex appeal is what attracts character X to the opposite gender.

I know you're going scream, "whut about" and fill in some niche sexual dynamic. You do you, my friend. I'm talking about the generalities here.


Why does it matter?

If you are trying to sell your story, and you are trying to sell your story, you need to appeal to the reader. You are trying to, at the very least, get the reader to spend his or her time on your story. To do this, you should try to make your MC someone that the reader will enjoy reading about. People enjoy reading about sexy people, even if those people never have sex.


So what is sexy?

Here's where I have been finding problems lately and what made me want to post this. For some reason, I'm seeing women being written as being sexy, but they are being written to be sexy to other women (and no, not in a GL story) and guys being written to be sexy to other men, when it's not a BL story. It is almost always a problem of the author not understanding what is sexy. So, Let me explain.


Men generally find the following sexy: Good Looking, Nice Personality, Low Body count

That's about it.

Now, some men might find sexy to be a high body count, but actually, I think you will find that actually, such men are attracted to the PERSONALITY that would produce a high body count, but they would prefer if they caught her really earily so she didn't have a body count yet. Is this universal? No. But it's the basics.

Now, when writing, there is only so much you can do as far as "good looking", because this is text. You basically describe her once, and that's about all you need. We're good after that. Personality is the most important factor. What is important? Actually, that's the hard part. Men like a Wide range of personalities as 'sexy'. Innocent. Violent, mothering, you name it. A good rule of thumb is a guy usually falls in love with his mother.

So how does this help you, the writer?

Pick whatever personality you are going with, and stick to your guns. Actions are what guys look at most, not words. What your MC female does is her personality. Is she loyal? Does she lie? Is she super horny, but only for one guy? Is she pushy except when it matters then lets her BF be in charge? Whatever it is, pick your niche personality and stick to it, because some guys will fall for it, others won't. You can't appeal to everyone.

There is no perfect woman. Just perfect Women.

The phrase, "You are perfect for me." isn't just BS. Guys say that because they do honestly come to believe there is a "perfect woman, for HIM." What is the most popular female type? Damned if I know, but if you figure it out, let me know. All I can suggest is, stick to your guns, whatever personality to give her.


Women are Way more complicated.

You hear that women want the Nice guy, but go after the bad boy. Truth is, it isn't one or the other. They want BOTH. They want the bad boy who IS a nice guy. It's two different metrics. The Bad Boy spectrum is typically based on appearance and masculinity. How tough he is. Is power, dominance, all that dark triad shit.

Women like peaceful men, not harmless men.

A harmless man isn't a threat to anyone. A peaceful man is a threat to everyone, but chooses not to be violent.

Maybe it's evolution, but women love it when they know their guy can and will kick everyone else's ass. Yes, it can be terrifying to know your boyfriend is extremely violent, but if he;s only violent when you are threatened, then hey, it's all good.

On the other spectrum we have the nice guy. This is based on how much the guy gives the girl (either money or time/attention) and how well he cleans up. How presentable he is in public. I knew a guy in college, rather fat, I mean, morbidly fat. However, he was always clean. He had excellent taste in clothes, and he had a lot of money. He also was very confident and rather commanding. He was moderately high on the bad boy scale, but was very high on the nice guy scale.

He had quite a few girlfriends.

Yes, appearance is important, but only on the bad boy scale. On the Nice guy scale, culture, wealth, self-esteem, personalty, nice taste, and a willingness to spend time and money on your partner can get you rather far.

So you wind up with:
Low Nice Low Bad guys being men who every woman ignores.
You have High Bad, low nice, or your average biker that your daughter sleeps with a few times then dumps, then hooks back up with in a few months when she gets bored.
You have your friendzoned fool who is High Nice, low bad. He's someone the girl talks to but will never sleep with.
Then you get high Bad, High Nice who is basically... Prince Charming.

No. Really.

Look at any Otome game. The ML is a Prince or High level Noble with Good Looks. He's usually good with a sword, more than a little dangerous, often very commanding and takes control. He's a bit wild, but "SHE" managed to tame him so that he's A High Value Guy who Is Dangerous but spends all his time/money/attention on one person, the FL.

Of course that doesn't happen in real life. A prince charming these days has so many women throwing themselves at him that he usually has one main girl and a half dozen side pieces, but we're talking about fantasy and wish fufillment.

So how do you make a sexy male lead.

Well, this is often why you see MLs as handsome, socially akward, and secretly powerful. He is a diamond in the rough who just needs the right girl to find him and polish him up. He's either secretly a prince, or he's actually secretly a very powerful magic user, or swordsman, or demon slayer. He's rough around the edges and usually violent, but he keeps it under control around "HER".

This is often why people get annoyed with MLs with harems. They have the violent, the handsome, the masculinity, but they aren't giving all their attention to one ML. Even to other men, they can sense this is a no-no. Yes, some men want to go, "I want lots'o'woman!" but the truth is, we know that isn't "sexy". We know women aren't turned off by the multiple partners, but the fact he isn't giving 100% to one person. There are women willing to put up with it. Often you'll find women who would rather share a "perfect man", over settling for a man who gives them 100% of his attention. 20% of perfect is better than 100% of average.

However, in a story, that doesn't sell.

TL/DR: Physical Attributes, masculinity, culture/how well they clean up, and wealth/time/attention are the four aspects that make a ML sexy to women.

Yes, there are many other factors, but I'm talking about the base factors here.


The problem is when a woman tries to write a woman who is sexy to men, sometimes she writes the woman like she would find a MAN to be sexy. She writes her FL as High on the Bad Girl scale and High on the Nice Girl scale, not knowing that for men, they are the same scale. To women, there are Bad & Nice men, but there are no Bad & Nice girls to men. A bad girl and a nice girl are opposites to most men. You can't be both. When they write both in the same FL, it isn't appealing (unless it's GL, then go for it.)

Conversely, this is often why I find so many MLs written by men to be so god damn shallow. They make them "BAD Boys" or "NICE guys", but they are never a mix of the two, and as such, such MLs are often flat, one dimensional, and frankly, annoying to everyone. They assume it's one or the other, so the character feels... off.

What the hell is even that?
Sending an essay is wild.

 

[Alski]

What the hell is even that?

Cringe meme.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Thanks for the super helpful advice!
You’re right — active voice really does make it easier to slip into a story.

I think I’ve been posting on the longer side without realizing it.I really appreciate you telling me?

And by the way, your illustration was amazing — I was genuinely impressed?

Thank you so much‼︎

Thanks! I do commissions, if you need one.

 

[Zinless]

Thread locked under OP's request