Without spoiling anything, post one joke thats in your story today
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Representing_Tromba
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What do you mean that time doesn't exist? You are a time traveler! That doesn't make any sense... are you high?
LeilaniOtter
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Oral sex is incredibly complex for some people...? *shrugs* ? ?
AnEmberOfSundown
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"Oh, [goats] are staples for a reason. Livelier than a pig, less unwieldy than a cow, lots of personality...isn't that right Frederick? See? Frederick agrees."
"Do you know this goat?"
"No. He just looks like a Frederick."
"Hate to be the one to tell you this, Sundown...but that's a nanny goat."
"And I woke up in a fountain. I'm not going to judge Frederick."
EDIT: My bad, your thread title said 'today' and that one is in a scheduled chapter, so here's one that's already posted:
"Me? Oh, I was gonna cast Bigby's Emotional Blackmail. Ya dinnae want to know the material component for tha' one."
"Do you know this goat?"
"No. He just looks like a Frederick."
"Hate to be the one to tell you this, Sundown...but that's a nanny goat."
"And I woke up in a fountain. I'm not going to judge Frederick."
EDIT: My bad, your thread title said 'today' and that one is in a scheduled chapter, so here's one that's already posted:
"Me? Oh, I was gonna cast Bigby's Emotional Blackmail. Ya dinnae want to know the material component for tha' one."
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Racosharko
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It's only a joke to me but...
"Cultivation is supposed to be hard, this is real life, not some cheap amateur web novel!"
"Cultivation is supposed to be hard, this is real life, not some cheap amateur web novel!"
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Juia_Darkcrest
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'But isn't that what the DEN got cha?... gut chaa?... roulette wheel gave me?'
83 year old MC John, trying to pronounce gatcha in his thoughts.
83 year old MC John, trying to pronounce gatcha in his thoughts.
Juia_Darkcrest
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pangmida
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"Alright, serious question though. If you could hear humans' blood, like hear their song or whatever... what would mine sing?"
“Beethoven.”
“Really?”
“After he went deaf. Without the musical talent.”
“…I hate you.”
“Beethoven.”
“Really?”
“After he went deaf. Without the musical talent.”
“…I hate you.”
Bimbanana
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Eldoria
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"D-don't tell me… y-you—"
Marry stiffened for a moment. Cold sweat trickled down her forehead. She thought little Thomas knew her identity…
"Was little Thomas even slightly conscious… during the massacre?!" Marry muttered to herself.
"Y-you… must be… the shadow heroine… t-the one who loved saving people… and then… just… disappeared… t-that…?"
"Shadow hero? Huh…" For a moment, Marry's eyes went blank. "Not the blood executioner?!"
Thomas's eyes lit up… he became excited.
Edit: I couldn't think of a better joke than this considering my fiction is ideological-philosophical dark fantasy.
Marry stiffened for a moment. Cold sweat trickled down her forehead. She thought little Thomas knew her identity…
"Was little Thomas even slightly conscious… during the massacre?!" Marry muttered to herself.
"Y-you… must be… the shadow heroine… t-the one who loved saving people… and then… just… disappeared… t-that…?"
"Shadow hero? Huh…" For a moment, Marry's eyes went blank. "Not the blood executioner?!"
Thomas's eyes lit up… he became excited.
Edit: I couldn't think of a better joke than this considering my fiction is ideological-philosophical dark fantasy.
CharlesEBrown
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Well, this one's been kicking around in my head for a week and a half but I'm finally writing it down now.
As he passed a table with three older men he thought were ranchers, Dane heard one say: "No, it can't be - but it sure looks like him." Then, louder, the man said: "Hey, gunny!"
Dane casually glanced around. Nobody else had reacted to the comment so he turned to the older man and replied: "Ain't been a gunny for nearly ten years, nor a marine for nine."
The man just took this in stride and asked: "What do you call a Marine with multiple Good Conduct medals?"
Something about the man's voice triggered a memory and the question had him suspect that he knew who this was: "Well, a long time ago, I was told the only answer is 'an obvious plant,' sir."
As he passed a table with three older men he thought were ranchers, Dane heard one say: "No, it can't be - but it sure looks like him." Then, louder, the man said: "Hey, gunny!"
Dane casually glanced around. Nobody else had reacted to the comment so he turned to the older man and replied: "Ain't been a gunny for nearly ten years, nor a marine for nine."
The man just took this in stride and asked: "What do you call a Marine with multiple Good Conduct medals?"
Something about the man's voice triggered a memory and the question had him suspect that he knew who this was: "Well, a long time ago, I was told the only answer is 'an obvious plant,' sir."
Bimbanana
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the last line hits me hard in the wrong way :'(
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Hans.Trondheim
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My life.
Wenlock
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Light hearted bickering between a married couple?
He caught sight of Aika leaning in the doorway, eyes bleary, lips curled in a sour smile. He snaps. “Woman, I am heading to the Fifth Court and a few other places. I will be gone for a few days. Behave yourself.”
Aika’s lips curl into a sneer. She slurs out. “Take as long as you fucking can.” Ren Jiang merely scoffs at her and turns to leave. Aika yells at his retreating figure. “Never show me your face again!”
As Ren Jiang does not have the time for domestic violence today, he leaves her jaw intact. He climbs into the carriage and kicks the side, spurring the driver forward.
He caught sight of Aika leaning in the doorway, eyes bleary, lips curled in a sour smile. He snaps. “Woman, I am heading to the Fifth Court and a few other places. I will be gone for a few days. Behave yourself.”
Aika’s lips curl into a sneer. She slurs out. “Take as long as you fucking can.” Ren Jiang merely scoffs at her and turns to leave. Aika yells at his retreating figure. “Never show me your face again!”
As Ren Jiang does not have the time for domestic violence today, he leaves her jaw intact. He climbs into the carriage and kicks the side, spurring the driver forward.