I'll review first chapters... ?

LeilaniOtter

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2025
Messages
1,185
Points
113
I'm not going to post anything until the series bugs work themselves out and I'm back in good standing again, so I'll read for a bit here.
I'll look at your first chapters and give completely honest, professional evaluations on:
  1. Content: Am I enjoying what I'm reading? Are the characters standing out? Does the chapter ending make me want to click "Next". (I'll add works to my reading list in that instance so I can keep reading.) How is the pacing? How is the world-building and do you have a grasp on what you're trying to create?
  2. Grammar/Spelling: I'm nuts about proper grammar/spelling, but I realize there are exceptions to every rule. For example, your book might be a narrative and "speaking" is always different with different people. Like "kinda" instead of "kind of", etc., which is fine. I won't point out everything; just give you examples on something that glared at me, and how to fix it.
  3. Strengths/Weaknesses: Is there something you can improve upon? Is there something you could add to a character, or a scene, or your world that might make the chapter flow better? What was it I really liked/disliked about the chapter?
Before I began writing full-time, my partner and I were in literary representation. We were doing okay until the economy took a nose-dive in the 2000s and we couldn't stay in that industry, and turned to freelance work again. But I still love to read and have a firm grasp on what's hot.

So, let me know if I can help, and if you feel so inclined, happily read my work as well. (just be mindful it's mostly NSFW) ?

Would prefer private consultations only; however if you'd like a glowing review shared here in this post, (because you did such a great job), I don't mind posting my review here too.

UPDATE: I'm going to limit this service to 20 people. I'm already getting swamped. ?
 
Last edited:

Representing_Tromba

Sleep deprived mess of an author begging for feedb
Joined
Jan 29, 2020
Messages
5,970
Points
233
I would love it if you would consider taking a look at my story! I would like to know of any ways I can improve, or if it is interesting enough to keep reading. I know you are only reading the first chapter, so you can skip the prologue, unless you would like some extra context.

 

Cookiez_N_Potionz

Rank: Moon Leo
Joined
Sep 27, 2024
Messages
408
Points
78
Can you check out my story if you don't mind?

Synopsis:
5 Systems.
5 Royal Families.
Greetings, Champion!

17 year-old, Collin Rex is a football player with a heart of gold. But his easygoing life is flipped upside-down when his older siblings fall into a mysterious coma.

With no more tricks in their playbook Collin's folks decide to move back to their hometown to help him cope with the emotional shock. At his new school he bumps into a strange girl named Helena and realize their childhood friends. Soon, Collin begins to remember things and then one day he accidentally obtains something called: The Knight System.

But it wasn't an accident...

9 years ago he was chosen to become a Maverick, a peacemaker between the mortal and supernatural community.

 

LeilaniOtter

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2025
Messages
1,185
Points
113
I would love it if you would consider taking a look at my story! I would like to know of any ways I can improve, or if it is interesting enough to keep reading. I know you are only reading the first chapter, so you can skip the prologue, unless you would like some extra context.

Alright, yours was first. I'll read the prologue and first chapter, not a problem. I like having a direction anyway, and I'll get back to you through private message. Um...how do I do private messaging, do i just click "start conversation"? ?
 

Representing_Tromba

Sleep deprived mess of an author begging for feedb
Joined
Jan 29, 2020
Messages
5,970
Points
233
Alright, yours was first. I'll read the prologue and first chapter, not a problem. I like having a direction anyway, and I'll get back to you through private message. Um...how do I do private messaging, do i just click "start conversation"? ?
Thank you! Yes, if you click start conversation, it should be private.
 

LeilaniOtter

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2025
Messages
1,185
Points
113
Can you check out my story if you don't mind?

Synopsis:
5 Systems.
5 Royal Families.
Greetings, Champion!

17 year-old, Collin Rex is a football player with a heart of gold. But his easygoing life is flipped upside-down when his older siblings fall into a mysterious coma.

With no more tricks in their playbook Collin's folks decide to move back to their hometown to help him cope with the emotional shock. At his new school he bumps into a strange girl named Helena and realize their childhood friends. Soon, Collin begins to remember things and then one day he accidentally obtains something called: The Knight System.

But it wasn't an accident...

9 years ago he was chosen to become a Maverick, a peacemaker between the mortal and supernatural community.

I'm waiting on a reply from @Hoshino so I'll get started on yours. *^^*
 

LeilaniOtter

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2025
Messages
1,185
Points
113
Last edited:

Rookieqw

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2021
Messages
236
Points
103
Thank you for your kind offer! Here's my first three chapters on a story that I'm writing in my spare time:

The raider's name was Latif. His story was unremarkable. A member of a gang that stumbled upon an ancient weapon buried after the Extinction. That same night, he and a handful of his henchmen poisoned their leader and slaughtered his family and most trusted comrades, subjugating the rest. After digging up the machine, the bandits turned it into a mobile camp.

Since then, Latif has traveled the world, ravaging villages and filling the holds of his fortress with stolen supplies and slaves for sale. Periodically, he formed alliances with other raiders to overcome settlements capable of resistance. Such agreements rarely lasted longer than the first breach in the defenders’ walls, as Latif always stabbed his allies in the back, enslaving everyone in his path and recruiting the best madmen into his ranks.

Even ambitious fools learn, and Latif’s name was no longer welcome among the wild gatherings of plunderers and slave traders. Their lairs still accepted his landship because of the tribute Latif paid to Paikan, the unofficial ruler of the local lands. But outside the markets, slavers, raiders, and even ordinary robbers mercilessly hunted the hated opportunist who dared to break all the unspoken rules and agreements.

After experiencing several such ambushes when the rest of the bandits came to the aid of Latif’s victims, the raider realized that Volnitsa was no longer a defenseless feeding ground for his gang. He expanded his hunting zone and left the borders of the lawless region, bringing grief and destruction to neighboring lands.

Latif’s mobile base was a nightmare in reality. A rusting, seven-thousand-ton wagon weighed seven thousand tons and moved on gigantic wheels. A wide variety of weapons, from artillery pieces to rocket launchers, were welded onto the hull of this resurrected zombie. But such a behemoth required constant maintenance, and only Volnitsa lairs were willing to sell supplies and repairs. Hundreds of slaves labored day and night in the innards of the evil behemoth, dying by the dozens and dreaming that the owners would recognize them as fit for sale.

Nor was there unity in the ranks of Latif’s minions. His original gang had long since disappeared. Some had been betrayed by their own subordinates, others had been deemed useless due to their wounds and thrown into the engine bay or ammunition fetching duties to live out their days. Often blades glinted in the dimly lit corridors, and the sounds of gunfire echoed off the walls as the raiders reshuffled dainty positions. Latif didn’t care about any squabbles. As long as his horde obeyed his will and were constrained by the fear he instilled in them, they could do whatever they wanted with whomever they wanted. On rare occasions, the returned prisoners would tell wild stories of the torture going on in Latif’s base and show their mutilated bodies as evidence.

Such a lifestyle was impossible to sustain for long. Latif was always in need of new men, new slaves to sell and to pay the meat tribute, and a constant supply of spare parts and ammunition. He became brazen, making increasingly daring raids inside and outside the Volnitsa, miraculously escaping the claws of death. His story was another tale of a hard and short-sighted tyrant with no achievable goal, whose only difference from the rest was his extraordinary streak of good fortune.

One that lasted until this day. Latif dared to attack and sack a settlement in the far east of Volnitsa, capturing many exotic mutants.

For this he was sentenced to death. The Oathtakers never abandoned their own.

Latif’s wagon loomed over the empty scavenger camp. Smoke curled from the burning huts; both watchtowers were gone, replaced by craters. A mob of armed bastards from all corners of the world stormed into the settlement, nestled near the mountainside, rushing toward the large house belonging to the chief. They broke through the inner palisade, slowed down by the absence of screams and people trying to reach the arsenal. Their suspicions were soon confirmed: the beautifully painted chief’s house and all the warehouses were empty, and there was not a soul in the settlement or the inner camp. The locals had not left a single slave for the raiders, and Latif’s cry called his horde back, while the guns of his wagon reduced the house to smoldering ruins.

The decoys slipped out of small crevices in the east of the gorge. Several battered and patched-up trucks and four buggies. The trucks rushed east, and eight rockets flew out of the launchers installed on top of the buggies, exploding in bright red blooming flowers on the bodies of the bandits.

Latif’s roar of rage turned into a guttural laugh, and his wagon turned, crushing several bandits who had been too slow to climb the ramp. The fools had barely singed his beast and exposed themselves. The machine moved, drawing a line of destruction across the settlement with its belly. Inside, the overseers used whips to encourage the slaves to make every effort to pursue them successfully. The time for tribute was approaching, and they still hadn’t gathered enough meat or supplies. If the situation didn’t improve, Latif could well sell them to appease the ruler of Volnitsa.

Realizing the futility of their efforts, the buggies turned around and raced after the trucks down the long canyon. The wagon rushed after them, leaving gouges in the sandy ground with its massive wheels. The cannons were aimed at the target, but Latif ordered the men not to shoot, eager to get the trucks relatively intact. The front of the wagon opened like the mouth of an immense beast, filling almost the entire narrow canyon and emitting an infernal roar of the engine mixed with the sound of countless moving gears. Flames burst from the engines behind the machine as it began catching up with the scavengers.

The escapees hurried toward the bend in the canyon, where it formed a T-shape. Their hopes that the vehicle would be unable to turn were replaced by terror when the guns fired a barrage of shells, causing part of the rock to collapse and blocking the passage to safety. Latif laughed as he watched the front of his machine almost catch up with the fleeing men when the first shell landed on top of his machine. The raider’s large hands crumpled the armrests of his throne as men jumped out of their hiding places on the canyon cliffs.

There were scavengers, bandits, and simply victims of his past conquests. The cameras caught several familiar faces among the idiots he had used and betrayed and those who had managed to escape or buy their freedom. Armed with rocket launchers, RPGs, or simply throwing down bundles of grenades, they covered their pursuers with a deafening, fiery blanket. Latif’s contemptuous laughter rang out through the barrage. None of the shells pierced the hull, and only a lone mortar tumbled down after all these efforts.

The raider’s needle-like leg rose in a silent gesture, prompting the operators to aim the weapons. They would kill hundreds, and then his gang would capture those who were unlucky enough to survive. The cripples were also valuable in the arenas. The open gates of the wagon almost reached the runaways on the ground.

The debris disappeared in a bright flash reminiscent of a sunrise. The operators stared in bewilderment at the suddenly captured energy and heat readings, and even Latif froze when the sirens wailed, announcing the radar detection of an enormous object south of the pursuers. Dust created a hazy mist at the site of the recently blocked passage.

And through it, a pyramidal shape squeezed through. Sunlight illuminated the green front of the object hovering above the ground, exquisite patterns painted in gold formed letters of prayers on the smooth hull, and in its center was a circle containing several dozen religious symbols. Suddenly, small circles opened on the front of the pyramid, revealing smooth barrels of large-caliber weapons without the slightest trace of rust or malfunction.

Trained by experience gained in hundreds of battles, the operators of the carriage opened fire on the newcomer. It responded with a blaze of energy tongues lashing out from its largest guns, and shells, bullets, and grenades exploded in the air without reaching their target. Accompanied by a soft rumble, the pyramid advanced, unleashing a barrage of counterfire on the enemy.

Artillery installations, turrets, and protective structures disappeared from the left side of the machine, as if licked away by a vast tongue, and a powerful jolt that penetrated deep into the wagon knocked the panicking bandits off their feet. But that was just the beginning. Ten thousand tons of the pyramid crashed into the flank of the titanic vehicle, forcing its right side to skid across the side of the canyon, losing its weapons. The beautiful and flawless surface of the pyramid received a few scratches, but its opponent fared worse, and the monstrous pressure burst several pipes inside the machine, showering the raiders with superheated gas and boiling water, exposing the bones of several misfortunate victims.

Instantly assessing the danger of the situation, Latif sat back in his throne and gave the order to direct all power to the engines, and the flames bursting from them changed from orange to blue. Such a sudden surge of heat melted part of the rock and brought the vehicle back into motion, releasing the trapped part with a loud screech, accompanied by falling rocks drumming on the damaged structure. The convoy of escapees survived by sticking to the side of the canyon and letting the panicked steel beast pass.

A cry of disappointment came from the unusual alliance as their oppressors widened the distance between themselves and their allies. Several mutants and humans with powers began to run for a jump to land on the wagon. A single volley from the pyramid cut off part of the cliff, forcing the stunned people to retreat. No one was killed, but the message was clear. Don’t interfere. This is our hunt.

The pyramid did not turn; it simply changed direction, following the raiders who were trying to escape. With a series of loud bangs, six long capsules flew out of the pyramid, catching up with the wagon in seconds. Five capsules pierced the lower decks, unerringly finding their targets near the arsenals, engine room, and prison. The serrated blades on the noses of the capsules sprang into action, biting into and tearing through the metal in their path like a parasite burrowing into a human body, and the last capsule struck the command tower, bringing a smirk to Latif’s face. The armor in this spot was too thick, and a remaining cannon targeted the uninvited guests. Completely calm, Latif gave the order to prepare to repel the boarding.

****

“Forward, bastards! Get into position!” A kick to the shoulder sent Rustam headfirst forward, and he slid across the floor. The kid struggled to get up, miraculously slipping out from under the feet, trampling him.

Panic reigned on board. The guards handed out simple, small-caliber weapons to the slaves and drove them through the corridors to the place where the walls were bent. Months of beatings and abuse had done their job, and the desperate people did not even dare to think of resistance. Men and women, Normies and Mutants, formed a circle, raising their weapons with trembling hands.

Behind them, panels rose up, and Rustam pressed himself against the nearest one, peering over it in horror and clutching his shotgun to his chest. He was lucky; a week ago, one of the bastards who had burned his village dragged him into a tunnel to get ‘acquainted.’ He got acquainted with a sharp piece of pipe that Rustam had stabbed into his belly. Then he used it to smash the bastard’s head, and by some miracle, his masters rewarded him for this deed with oversized armor and weapons belonging to the deceased.

To Rustam’s left and right were teens his age, newbies, as the raiders called them. Their lives were worth little, and any disobedience led to death. Just yesterday, Yura was boiled alive in a reactor for refusing to shoot a man whose legs had failed him. But at least they were no longer beaten for no reason and were given nutritious food instead of the shitty broth consumed by slaves.

Everything had lost its meaning. Pa and Ma had always taught Rustam to care for others and be honest, but when the beasts in human form visited their village, none of that saved any of them. Rustam survived, afraid and trembling, obeying and closing his eyes to the surrounding cruelty. Even the death of his brothers and sisters from starvation no longer touched him. The boy wanted to survive and dared to hope that he had a ticket to the future, that he could escape one day...

And now this had happened. Nothing was going as it should have. He would never be free of this nightmare.

One slave, a girl named Sylvie with a mop of brown hair, took a step back, her mouth agape with fear as the screech of tearing metal rang through the wagon. Strangely, Rustam thought it was coming from above, rather than from the ‘boil’ that continued to swell in front of them. Sylvie screamed when she saw the sparks and slag falling from the wall. The boy smelled smoke.

The hand grabbed Sylvie by the scruff of her neck, jerking her into the air and turning her face toward the twisted grimace of Overseer Daulet. Tumors from frequent work with a leaking reactor covered his obese body, almost covering his swollen eye, and a predatory clicking mechanical pincer replaced his right hand from the elbow down. Locked in unending pain, the supervisor adored venting his sadistic temper on others.

“If you don’t want to be cannon fodder, you’ll play the role of a warning pancake,” Daulet exhaled, spitting out sticky saliva with each word and raising his pincer to strike.

Rustam turned before he even had time to think about what he was doing. He didn’t know Sylvie; they had barely exchanged a few words, but her appearance, her thin ribs pressing against her skin, and the color of her hair reminded him of his little sister. I won’t let this happen again. This time, I... I can do it! His finger pulled the trigger, and the pincer moved with inhuman speed, protecting his twisted face from the shotgun pellets. Several pellets ricocheted off the guard’s armor, and another owner knocked the weapon out of Rustam’s hands.

“We have a hero here, Daulet!” the bandit snorted. Rustam grabbed the knife from his belt and stabbed the man in the leg, but the blade snapped against his greaves. The bandit shoved the barrel of his pistol into the boy’s mouth, breaking part of his upper tooth.

“I thought there was a rod in it. All this new generation is such soft-hearted, snotty-nosed trash. Shoot this meat…” The shot interrupted Daulet.

The boarders did not wait for their machines to cut a clean circle. They kicked the weakened section of the bulkhead, knocking it down, and immediately opened fire. The first round sheared off a piece of the falling section and struck Daulet’s helmet, knocking it off his head. The bulging swelling under the helmet burst, flooding the man’s left eye with a disgusting-smelling, sticky yellow substance.

With a crash, the first of the intruders burst inside, and time slowed down for Rustam. He saw the master’s finger moving at a crawl’s pace, pressing the trigger, and twisted out of his grip. I won’t die. I won’t die here, no matter what. The boy thought, opening his mouth as wide as possible so that the corners of his mouth cracked.

The bullet tore his mouth and knocked out several of Rustam’s teeth, piercing his entire body with excruciating pain, as if acid had spilled into his mouth. His throat was parched, one ear had stopped hearing, and his head was splitting from a loud ringing. But he was alive. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement from the breach.

“Step forth and perish!” barked a female voice.

A figure clad head to toe in white armor pushed forward. A cloak flapped behind her, catching on the edges of the breach, and behind her, a mist shimmering with blue and green poured in. In its depths, Rustam saw other figures of giants, while the first one was already rushing forward, and on her cloak, or perhaps a robe thrown over her armor, a seahorse embroidered with gold thread shone next to a round symbol.

Without stopping, she jumped over the stunned slaves, denting the metal ceiling with her helmet, in the slit of which danced a green light. Landing behind the slaves, she rushed toward Daulet, swinging her spiked mace as she went. The tip pierced the gorget of the man holding Rustam and pierced it, much to the boy’s surprise.

He was not shocked by the gurgling of the suffocating bandit or by the fact that the hand literally knocked him off his feet, hurling him into the walls behind the other masters. No, the weakness of the raider’s armor surprised him. He remembered how that same armor had allowed the bandits to pass unscathed through the machine-gun fire of his village’s defenders. Raising himself up on one hand, the boy saw a flash of electricity run through the mace.

Daulet cursed, lifting Sylvie up like a shield. The boarder didn’t stop, firing several shots from the pistol in her hand, hitting the bandit’s shoulders and wrist. The plates of his suit cracked but held, and he raised his pincer, taking the crackling mace’s blow on it. With a slight buzzing of the motors inside her armor, the woman dragged her mechanical limb down to Daulet’s thigh and released her pistol.

Instead of falling, the gun took its place on her forearm, and the woman’s fingers, ending in sharp claws, dug into the crack in Daulet’s wrist, eliciting a cry of pain from him. The mace flashed, crushing the head of a bandit who rushed to Daulet’s aid and breaking the kneecap of another when he fired a burst of automatic fire at her. The bandit fell, screaming and clutching his crippled leg, and several notches appeared on the stranger’s thick plates.

“Mercy,” the fallen man managed to say.

“Ha! You took advantage of our hospitality; now down comes the punishing thumb!” The woman raised her foot, ending in a shod hoof instead of a normal foot. She stomped, crushing the bandit’s face and pressing the ruptured remains of his brain into his crumpled helmet.

Daulet’s hand jerked, and he released Sylvie. The boarder pulled her fingers out of her opponent’s wound and shoved the girl behind her back. Taking advantage of this momentary confusion, the raider struck her opponent in the ribs with his knee, forcing her to bend over. His pincer dodged the mace and stabbed into the boarder’s lower abdomen.

Sylvie! Half-conscious with pain, Rustam got up. The girl was still behind the strange woman, and if she took even one step back or fell... Staggering, he gathered all his strength and rushed toward the fighters, ignoring the chaos around him and the flying bullets. Rescue. He couldn’t save his family or himself, but maybe even he... His hands closed around Sylvie’s waist, pulling her aside.

The strange woman didn’t fall. The pincer dug deeper into her body and tried to open, widening the gap. A trickle of blood ran along its blade to Daulet’s grin. His hand slid to the machine gun on his belt and jerked convulsively from the blow of the mace handle to his face. The beak on its lower part tore the bandit’s lip, and he recoiled, pulling out his pincer. He exchanged three blows with the boarder and suddenly turned, sprinting down the corridor, leaving behind two bandits who had come to his aid. The man and woman did not last long. One died under the blows of the mace, and the other tried to shoot the woman, but the bullet flew over her shoulder and hit him in the temple.

Sylvie and Rustam gasped at the blood spreading across the floor, attracting the attention of the strange warrior. She was in front of them faster than the teenagers could blink, her hooves clattering across the floor, and the mace nearing Rustam’s eye, crystal clear despite the fierce battle. His heart sank, and his mouth refused to move. Together with Sylvie, they froze in horror.

“What were you planning to do with her, animal?” hissed the woman.

“Ruda! He’s just a boy!” came a shout from near the breach, and Rustam glanced over there.

The swirling fog hid the rest of the slaves and newbies, and the raiders were either killed or fled. The giant who called out to Ruda was decked out in blue and red clothes and armor decorated with bull emblems. Two of the boarders had arms that were too long, reaching their ankles.

“It’s in their armor, Ney. What, you think teens magically gain the ability to distinguish good from evil when they reach adulthood? It’s incorrigible.”

“Sariant. Don’t touch minors,” said a Long Arm. Two gilded eagle heads held his dark green cloak decorated with purple stars. Despite the recent battle, there was not a speck of blood or soot on him.

“Yes, Commander!” The mace moved away from Rustam’s face.

“How’s your wound, Sariant?”

“Just a scratch, Commander! Not even bleeding!” Ruda raised her pistol and started shooting into the corridor, hitting a bandit who had peeked out. “Will anyone provide me with a worthwhile dance prior to dying? What, no volunteers? But you were so brave with the villagers!”

“Medics, we have an injured.” The glowing slit of the commander's helmet looked at Rustam. “No, the veil stays.”

“Send me your best so I can grind their bones into dust!” Ruda held her mace over the gash in her armor.

“Commander, don’t think badly of our sister. She’s overly zealous, but her intentions are noble.”

“Dedication is commendable, but excessive posturing creates unnecessary risk,” said the commander. “Sister, you do not treat your raiment with befitting respect.” He glanced at the woman’s tattered robe, covered in blood and soot.

“I'll wash and sew my tabard and cloak upon returning, brother. Can’t fix a life as simply.”

“Hear, hear!” Ney laughed. “My sister’s selflessness inspires me. It would be an honor for me to aid her in such a mundane task. After we exorcise the evil from this den of depravity and find our people.”

“Ney's right!” Ruda said. “The scriptures of Landmeister Yaro teach us not to slacken our efforts when the enemy’s defenses and morale are broken. They have numerical superiority, so there is no need to give them a chance to regroup and take advantage of it. Let us kill the beasts and rescue the prisoners!”

“I concur. However, this time I will lead the charge. Sariants, form up at the rear. Troops, secure our prisoners and let the medics do their work,” said the commander, raising his mace and marching down the corridor, accompanied by four giants. Soon, sporadic gunshots rang out from deep within the wagon.

Someone was moving inside the fog, and Rustam tried to stand up, but the multicolored vapor reached him, enveloping the young man, and he inhaled it. His vision blurred, his body went numb, and the feeling of pain and even concern for Sylvie disappeared. It was just him and the conviction that everything would be fine, that nothing threatened him. Rustam yawned, understanding how exhausted he was, and lay down on the floor. No, it wasn’t the floor; it was his bed. He smelled a fragrance of freshly baked bread, made by his father. He saw the phantom silhouettes of his brothers, sisters, friends, and a white shape looking at him with eyes as red as rubies. Weakness spread through his limbs, and before he fell asleep in this strange haze, he thought he heard his mother’s voice, and tears welled up in his eyes.


The teeth of the siege saws grated, slowing down and breaking in the thick layer of metal covering the command tower. The red-hot flames shooting out of the nozzles harmlessly sprayed across the gray surface, unable to melt it. A siren wailed inside the assault capsule, warning of a targeting cannon.

The harnesses came undone, releasing soldiers, a single medic, and a tall figure clad to the chin in black power armor.

Szarel el-Farah raised his hand, and the artillery piece on the deck crumpled into a pancake. Invisible streaks of force created by his telekinesis struck the stubborn surface of the tower, creating a crack no wider than a finger.

Szarel’s will formed hooks, driving them into the breach, widening it enough for the nose of the pod to squeeze through with a monstrous screech.

“Magister, let us go first,” asked Butylin, the support platoon leader.

Dressed in the colors of the Order from head to toe and wearing body exoskeletons, they looked like animated shadows that slipped out from behind people’s backs. With a soft click, the lenses of their helmets activated, acquiring a slight purple tint, and blue numbers appeared on the displays of their rifles and grenade launchers, showing their current ammunition supply.

“We are all expected home, Sergeant,” Szarel replied, sensing the medic’s gaze boring into the back of his head.

With a soft rustle of his coat of arms and the hum of the generator, the magister stepped inside the corridor of the command tower, accompanying each step with a loud blow of a sharp staff. Exquisite fabrics covered the floor, and gaudily placed statues of precious metals lined the length of the corridor.

A silver-framed mirror reflected Szarel, his skin stretched taut over his skull, his sunken nose, deep-set brown eyes, and holes instead of ears. The cameras on the ceiling focused on the outsiders and trembled, disintegrating into pieces, destroyed by the will of the magister. A lone prisoner holding a tray of roughly chopped meat tried to shrink into the wall, trying to hide from the incoming boarders.

Szarel did not even look at the unfortunate child. An alluring and sweet fragrance of a suppression veil poured out of the capsule, filling the nostrils of a pale and badly scarred teenager, drawing him into the soothing world of dreams. The medic held the falling body, turning the boy’s head to the side, although there was no need for this. Szarel found the result satisfactory. He couldn’t calm the wounded soul with words.

Retribution was his profession. Inhaling narcotic clouds of smoke without harm to himself and without loss of concentration, the magister pressed a button on his belt, and a cold spread throughout his entire body. The footsteps, the sound of the end of his staff cutting through fabric, the movement of the servos—everything slowed, stretching out in time as the armor emptied the contents of the ampoule into Szarel’s neck, to the displeasure of the field medic.

Thick, dark blood flowed from the nose, caressing the gray flesh like a silk handkerchief, and the touch of air resembled the pricks of daggers. He licked off the blood, seeing the glow in the corridor's distance. Crackling arcs of electricity whipped towards the group, incandescent statues in their path. The attack shattered into a stream of sparks, hitting the solidified air.

Among the Blessed, the people changed by the Extinction, Trolls did not possess any supernatural speed, nor the extreme strength that distinguishes them from Normies. To achieve the coveted heights, they used the gifts of technology. Or the gifts of medicine.

Szarel extended his hand, and to his perception, accelerated by the potion, the limb barely crawled. It did not matter; his mind controlled God’s gift. The movements were just a habit. The five raiders at the end of the corridor were still reloading their large energy cannons when the first one screamed. Several tons of weight crashed down on her legs, breaking them instantly. Her armor had saved her from the worst, but Szarel interrupted her scream by crushing the bandit’s windpipe.

The pressure flattened the other two bandits against the wall, their visors cracking, and wires and bundles of muscle fiber sprouted from the joints of their hodgepodge of ill-fitting armor. With a loud crunch, their chests crumpled inwards. One of the remaining men dropped his weapon, and flames appeared above his hands.

A Blessed. Szarel thought with disgust. To waste his gift on senseless cruelty. His invisible grip grabbed the fifth raider by the leg, stopping her attempt to escape. The woman was thrown into the forming plasma ball in her comrade’s arms, and the monstrous heat overloaded her generator, blowing it up. Szarel stopped the shockwave before it reached his men and heard torn-off legs falling.

The squad reached a fork in the road, with corridors leading to the bridge, recreation areas, and elevators to the lower decks. Szarel had no idea what the degenerates had turned the recreation areas into and raised his hand, ordering Butylin to form a defense.

Without waiting for any further instructions, the sergeant promptly ordered the soldiers to take up positions behind the statues, thrusting the medic into a small recess. The veil had already reached them, bringing dope into the open rooms, neutralizing opponents who did not have air filtration systems.

The rest got acquainted with the bullets flying through the veil. Butylin did not give the order to use grenade launchers, and the first mutant to stick his head out was riddled with concentrated bursts from several soldiers.

“Report,” Szarel said into his gorget. The bullet ricocheted off the hemisphere of solidified air around the magister.

“Storm A, we’ve taken the prison hold!” Chernogor’s trembling voice reported. Despite his age, the crusader’s speech was clear, but because of the potion, his words sounded drawn out, each syllable hanging in the air, caressing the magister’s eardrums, and forcing him to assemble the pieces of this unusual puzzle into a single whole. “There are about four hundred here… Copy that, Sergeant. Four hundred and nineteen prisoners of various ages. But ours are few. The medic woke up an adult. He said Latif had already sold some people.”

So that’s how it is. “Do we know who the buyer is? Or the place where the sale took place?”

“Negative. The kidnappers didn’t tell the poor guys anything.”

“Expected. Storms C, B, G, I?”

“The treasury has been taken,” said Commander Carde von Bülow. “The savages almost smashed a priceless slab from the Old World....”

“We have seized the elevators!” Jake el-Farah, the leader of Storm G, reported cheerfully. “Our forces met and destroyed the reinforcements heading for the magister.”

“We have encountered heavy resistance at the armory!” said the voice of Eloise de Menhir, accompanied by the grinding of maces on armor and the roar of shotguns. “Eight Blessed with forces and several dozen without them.”

“Storms C and G provide support to Storm I,” Szarel ordered.

“We are making our way to the engine room, pursuing the enemy,” El Satanini reported.

“Watch the Sariants, brothers and sister,” Szarel said. “Their inexperience and zeal are a dangerous combination.”

“I’ve noticed, Magister,” El Satanini said.

“Ruda?”

“Ruda. A sinner scratched her when she was saving a child. Don’t worry, I won’t let her soul fade away prematurely.”

Ringing his staff on the floor, Szarel left the ranks of soldiers, heading for the tall steel doors at the end of the corridor. The new owners had scrawled their gang’s badge on the undimmed surface, but under the grinning three-eyed skull spitting flames at the small black figures, the star of an unknown division of the past was still visible.

A pair of guards took aim at the approaching Szarel, glancing nervously at the entrance to the bridge. Without stopping, the magister snapped their necks and unleashed his power on the locked doors, tearing the foul symbol from them and throwing them open. A roar of pure hatred came from within.

“Why didn’t you warn me?! Answer me! Why did you...”

Inside was a long, narrow bridge leading to a gaudy throne, cobbled together from precious metals and stones, looming over the entire chamber. Just below the throne hung a metal sphere, held in place by cables. On either side of the bridge were recesses for operators. A motley crew sat in the chairs meant for true defenders, trying to coordinate the defense of their lair, while their displays went dark as the attackers blew up the cameras one by one. Several guards stood in the corners of the room, and turrets appeared in their hidden compartments on the ceiling, deploying with clicks.

A long bulk rose from the throne. Latif resembled a humanoid centipede, his segmented body with a series of sharp legs crowned by the upper part of the human torso. The flesh flowed smoothly into the hairy chitin, and sloppy, greenish, thick armor covered every part of the body. With a series of dry pops, the column twisted around, pointing the three-eyed face at the magister. In one hand, Latif held a shield, covering his human part of the body, and the other hand closed on a flamethrower.

“Lost?” Latif asked in a calm voice. Insect mandibles grew from his cheekbones, contracting in time with the words spoken.

Good thing Jake is not here. Shame, such a shame. Such venerable people, and this creature dares to disgrace them with his deeds. Szarel silently gripped the shaft of his staff, parting the stream of flame raining down on him from the flamethrower. He redirected the heat into the operators’ pits and tore the pins out of the grenades on the guards’ belts with his mind.

****

The battle raged in the corridor leading to the engine room. The raiders had piled up empty barrels and crates in an attempt to create a makeshift barricade. El Satanini kicked through it, bringing his mace down on the mutated machine gunner’s head. He fired a hand cannon, hitting the grenadier in the chest. The woman fell back, and a grenade without a pin rolled out of her limp hand. The commander stepped into an explosion that scattered the rabble in his path. He caught a flying-by bandit on his wrist and crushed his head against the wall.

Ruda squeezed past the knight, reaching Ney, and together they impaled the necks of the Blessed aimed at the commander’s back. El Satanini looked like a live firework, bullets ricocheting off the plates of his armor, his tabard catching fire, and a spear scraping across his chest in a jagged line.

But each time his mace rose, breaking limbs and crushing heads, bringing retribution upon the villains for the crimes they had committed. Clad in the finest power armor available to the orders, the crusaders cut a wedge-like path towards an open bay further down the corridor. Sensors picked up energy spikes emanating from this location, confirming the intelligence gathered by the ‘lucky’ man who had been fortunate enough to be sold out of this place.

Suddenly, the pincer pierced through the bulkhead, bursting out in clouds of steam and plunging into the commander’s side. Its blades pierced the weakened alamazoid section, biting deep into the grey flesh before splitting open, cracking a rib, and drawing a grunt from El Satanini.

“Scum!” Ruda’s pauldron sent sparks flying off the wall as she leapt forward, closing her hand on the pincer and pushing her mentor aside.

Her mace hit the bulkhead, punching a vast gap in it and landing on the shoulder of the canker-covered fat asshole who had escaped from her earlier. Tangled together, they fell into the engine room, where the raider kicked her in the helmet.

She rolled away, noticing her surroundings for the first time. The oblong engine, once a proud work of art of the Old World, had undergone many mocking modifications, growing nearly three times its size and resembling a swollen boil, entangled in a mass of cables descending from the ceiling like parasitic worms. It occupied the entire middle of the elongated compartment, producing such a loud noise that workers had to use straps to hold tools on tables. Plumes of acrid steam swirled around the room, biting at the exposed flesh of Ruda’s wound. Her armor issued a warning of radioactive emissions from the engine. A narrow walkway ran almost to the ceiling. Vats of boiling substance hung beneath it, tended by hunched slaves wrapped in thick rags and wearing collars.

Shots cut through the fog, pounding her armor, and her fat opponent jumped up and rushed towards the flight of stairs leading up.

“Daulet! Where are you going?!” a bandit shouted.

“I’ll fucking boil them!” the tumorous fatso barked. He swept the startled slave out of his way, and the man crashed into the red-hot hull of the engine, screaming in agony as the heat licked the skin of his back through the fabric. “Never! Never will any filth defeat us!”

“Stop! Planet damn you, we’re not done, coward!” Ruda bellowed.

She jumped to her feet, ignoring the burning sensation in the pierced part of her armor or the gunshots tearing at her garments. Ruda raced after Daulet as he scrambled up, trusting her fighting brothers and sisters to clear the room. She paused, no more than a breath, to pull the wounded prisoner away from the engine and continued running, her boots leaving prints in the stairwells, her breath escaping in short growls.

Reaching the drawbridge, Daulet shoved the terrified prisoner out of the way, sending him straight into the boiling vat. Ruda let go of her gun and lunged upward with all her strength, grabbing the poor guy by the shoulder and prevent him from meeting a terrible fate.

He’s also important! She threw the man onto the landing behind her.

A kick landed on her head. Daulet stopped his escape and crashed into the staggering Ruda, smashing his machine gun into her helmet hard enough for her to crash into the railing, bending it. The mechanical pincer painfully pricked her chest, pinning her to the bridge, and a heavy foot landed on her hand holding the mace. Less than a hand’s breadth from her head, liquid was bubbling in a vat, and the muzzle of the raider’s weapon was pointed at her neck.

So soon? The thought flashed through her mind. Her helmet issued a notification, giving the rest of the crusaders access to her lenses.

“I’ll flood the decks and turn your buddies into soup, bastard,” Daulet croaked. “We’ve recovered from worse; the boss will understand. But you...” His yellow-drenched eye twitched nervously, trying to focus on the crusader. “I’ll boil you now, weakling. I’ve just about ripped enough holes in you...”

He raised his foot, intending to stomp.

“Hoof it!” Ney shouted from below.

Not today!

Ruda began moving before the mace reached them. She arched, feeling the pincer blades slice through her flesh. The shot had struck the denser armor on her upper chest instead of her neck, sparing her life. Her friend’s weapon slammed into Daulet’s pincer, right where the mechanism met the flesh, and tore off the limb.

The crusader’s hoof struck the overseer in the groin, her gun slid back into her hand, and she fired at the bastard. The bullet slid across his head, exposing part of his skull and throwing the overseer back against the creaking railings.

“Still... alive, you devil,” Daulet gurgled.

“Capital.” Ruda kicked him in the chest with both hooves. “Enjoy the dive.”

The railing cracked and broke under the onslaught. Daulet waved his hand in the hope of grabbing onto something and fell straight into the vat. He emerged once, emitting a barely audible, desperate hiss from his molten lips. Then his body disappeared beneath the boiling surface.

“For you and yours.” Ruda spat into the vat.

“Sariant!” El Satanini said, fighting with the remaining guards. “If you are done with reckless heroism, release the prisoners and ask if they know how to stop this unholy mess.”

His regeneration had already healed some of the damage, and the commander’s voice sounded clear and loud, without the slightest trace of hoarseness. No longer confined to the narrow corridor, the venerable knight turned into a deadly whirlwind, grabbing opponents with his long and elastic arm and yanking them off their feet, stopping any attempt by the bandits to form some semblance of a formation.

“And find my mace!” laughed Ney, firing from two hand cannons, his own and the commander’s. “Or I’ll take yours as compensation!”

“Yes, sir! Thanks, Ney, you’re the best!” Saluted Ruda.

“I know!”

“What will happen to us... mistress?” asked the prisoner she had saved earlier. The man prostrated himself, pressing his forehead to the floor.

Ruda reached out and tore the slave collar off him, flinging it into the vat of dissolved Daulet. Then she raised her new acquaintance to his feet and flicked him on the chin.

“Nose up. There are no masters here,” she said softly. “Let’s go get the others. We need to stop the engine and...” She hesitated. “...if you can find a mace similar to mine, I’d be very grateful.”

****

Szarel threw Latif past the hanging sphere and flattened him against the wall with such force that a crack appeared on it. The magister walked through the destroyed bridge, removing fire, corpses, and fragments from his path. There was not a scratch on his suit, and if not for the red dripping from his nose, ears and flowing from under his watery eyes, he would have appeared completely unharmed.

Apart from the two of them, there were no more living soldiers or combat-ready personnel left in the room. Several captives fled in terror and were caught in the sleep-inducing embrace of the veil.

“You...” The magister interrupted Latif, increasing the pressure, and the bulkhead of the carriage groaned, bending outward. Several of the raider’s legs broke and fell off, but his body withstood and forced its way out, hanging a few meters away from the moving car. “Let me go.”

“Answer my questions and I’ll do so,” promised Szarel, approaching the breach. “The people you enslaved from our lands. Who did you sell them to?”

“Yours? To be more precise, what country or tribe are you talking about? I have been to many places; it’s hard to recall them all…” The pressure crushed Latif’s helmet, tearing a mandible from his face, and his sneer turned into a panicked cry. “Enough! Draz! I sold the first batch to him.”

“Draz. His lair is not that far,” said Szarel. The story seemed plausible.

“Then you know that he controls the road leading to Paikan’s domain.” Latif regained his composure, and he jerked in an invisible grip. A smile appeared on his lips when one of his legs moved. “You may be a fanatic, but you’re not stupid. Paikan will wipe out your gang with his pinky and won’t wince. Insult Draz—and you’ll have to do it regardless of your intentions; he won’t give up anything just like that—and you’ll slap Paikan, whether you want to or not. He will pursue you without rest!”

“So why hasn’t he cornered you yet?”

“Ah, the local squabbles don’t bother him. What does he care about them? Outsiders are fascinating to him; that’s why he always takes tribute in meat. Once you fall into his clutches, there’s no escape, no future. But there is another way. In exchange for safety, I can act as a go-between, buying the slaves.”

“An intriguing proposition. Unfortunately, I’ve already promised to let you go,” Szarel said.

The grip around the raider disappeared, and Latif fell. He twisted, silent and focused, his spiny legs reaching for the hull, but gravity pulled him down. He crashed near the base of the command tower and rolled off the wagon, landing on the sandy surface. To a Blessed such as himself, such a fall was nothing, but the crumbling depressions in the ground created by the wagon’s wheels acted as the slope of a pit full of quicksand. Latif roared, but despite his efforts, he slid down along with the sand, and first the end of his torso, then the rest of him, were caught and crushed by the wheel.

The raider who had slaughtered so many for his monstrous wagon had been killed by it. Szarel pushed the meaningless poetry from his mind and thought about the words he had heard. The Oathtakers had little information about Paikan. He had presumably retired several decades ago, yet no one in Volnitsa dared contradict him in anything. His unwritten laws were obeyed. So he was either strong or he had a powerful army. Perhaps both options were true.

Latif’s boldness after he jerked his leg hinted at Paikan’s physical attributes.…

A dull, barely audible gurgling distracted the magister. He turned towards the hanging sphere, sure that the sound came from it. Soot, rust, traces of blood, and jagged marks covered the brown surface. Szarel approached the object, touching it with his palm. His telekinesis penetrated inside without exerting significant pressure on anything, and tried to perceive the situation.

A sharp push. Another. Szarel stopped his power.

“Help...” The magister heard a weak sob filled with pain. “Dark. Hurts.”

“Everything will be fine, little one.” Szarel touched his gorget. “Escort a medic to me. Immediately.”


With his staff against the breached wall, Szarel placed his hands behind his back and watched as the Onyx Order’s cruiser, the Shroud of Darkness, descended next to the stopped wagon, its anti-gravity engines shutting down. Like ants from a busy colony, the Order’s mechanics and engineers swarmed the outer hull of the raider’s mobile base and filled the compartments. Anything that could be used was immediately disassembled and placed in containers, sent back to the cruiser.

A murmur of foul curses reached the magister’s ears. The barbaric abuse of rare engines and the savage methods of capturing such delicate lost technology dissatisfied the workers. The battle-damaged navigation panel behind Szarel vomited a flurry of sparks into the technician’s protective visor, and the man kicked it, cursing in frustration at the loss of a rare processor.

The sun had reached its zenith, shining brightly on such unusual works. Even stranger were the broken camps of local bandits, dotting the cliffs. Their drunken chants and hoots accompanied each supply convoy heading into the Shroud of Darkness. The rabble burst into joyful laughter every time a worker slid off the hull and dangled on a lifeline. Out of boredom, the scoundrels made bets and mockingly offered their help to the hapless climbers.

To their credit, they kept their word, not approaching the machines, although a few shots and cries of pain came from their side. The concoction wore off, and an itching withdrawal tormented the magister. Sounds were no longer as clear; the world dimmed, losing its colors; nerves throbbed, numb. The feeling of losing a part of himself refused to subside, and Szarel’s thoughts returned to the ampoules hidden inside his armor.

Another one wouldn’t hurt. Shouldn’t. I can regenerate, so what’s the harm? The button on his belt beckoned to him, begging him to press it, promising the return of the unique purity and fullness of sensations. Maybe these bastards are planning to slaughter us right now, and I don’t even hear them? Do I have the right to neglect our safety? Don’t I deserve such a small, insignificant pleasure...

Will existed to triumph over desire, and Szarel ignored the temptations, wiping away the drool. The mirrored surface of the back of his vambrace reflected his face, calm except for the twitching corner of his mouth. Desire could be suppressed, but it would never cease to tempt the character.

Szarel whistled, and a harpoon shot out from the cliffs, plunging into the thick hull of the wagon next to the breach. A rope connected the end of the harpoon to the top of the canyon hanging over the vehicles. A lone figure in a shimmering camouflage cloak slid quickly down, landing next to the magister.

The woman straightened, cracking her shoulder and pulling the darkened hood off her head, revealing a face disfigured by burns. The muzzle of a gun peeked out from behind her neck, smelling of smoke. Gray hair framed the sparse tufts of hair growing between the scars on her head.

“Greedy. We’ve cornered such a luxurious, luscious mountain of treasure, and you’re skimming off all the cream alone.” Hoarseness distorted Itil’s purring, contented voice. The leader of the gathering folded her hands behind her back and began to circle the magister, casting glances of her violet eyes at the working person.

“To the winner goes the spoils,” Szarel said.

Using telekinesis, he snatched up a chilled bottle and two goblets taken from the robbers’ supplies. The cork left the floating bottle, and a stream of rich, reddish-brown liquid flowed into the waiting goblets. One flew toward Itil, and he quaffed the second in one gulp. His companion followed suit, tossing the empty goblet over her shoulder.

Customs had their value, and a paper shield was preferable to none.

“That sounds very much like us. You would have made a fine raider, Szarel.” She brushed her shoulder against his cape and ran her fingers over his armored back. “Latif had two thousand thugs, give or take a hundred, serving him. The capture of such a colossus by two hundred men is quite impressive. And that’s not your entire gang. I didn’t know you were hiding an entire army in your pyramid. Tell me, how many Abnormals did you bring with you?”

“Enough to dispel any thoughts of reneging on the deal,” Szarel said.

Two knights had lost their lives in the battle for the armory. The sariant and the priestess sister, who served under Eloise. Their bodies were wrapped in cloaks with respect and carried out in secret from their new allies. Although losses in battle were inevitable, Szarel mourned the loss of another experienced fighter.

Many of the Crusaders had died in the war against the Chosen Prince, and now the ranks of the order were filled with recruited knights from vanished orders and new Blessed Ones not of Trolls descent. Even now, a core of their veterans were practicing combat coordination and creakily adopting new traditions in the safety of their country’s lands. Szarel had taken only the bare minimum of veterans with him on the mission, trusting in the abilities of his adopted kin.

He frowned, experiencing the strange sensation of being watched. The verminous rabble on the rocks grinned shamelessly at them, but the feeling of the lazy, disdainful gaze came from within the busy bridge.

“You know how to stir up a girl’s interest, my friend.” Itil smirked. “A couple of old farts were grumbling about you robbing us, insisting on the unfairness of the deal.”

“Idiots, right? My mother often told me about the need to respect elders; they know a lot and all... But a cretin who lives to gray hair remains the same cretin. I sent them on a well-deserved rest, since my word is no longer a law to them. Although it was assholish on your part to kill all the surrendered soldiers. We agreed on prisoners and young ones. Why did you need the rest?”

“Treat others the way you want to be treated,” Szarel quoted the third commandment of the Planet.

“Oh-ho! So if you were captured, you would want to be beaten to death?”

“Of course. I know all about skinning, and about prepared salt, and about needles, and about prepared fuel for starting a fire… Sometimes death is a mercy. Torture only humiliates the torturer.”

“Easy for you to say. You don’t know what Latif did to the locals.” Itil turned away, stared out, and spat down. Szarel caught a flash of irritation in her gaze.

Not her.

“Hey!” shouted an engineer, dismantling the launcher under the breach. He wiped the spittle from his helmet.

“Damn, you’re like fleas here, hiding everywhere!” Itil scratched her sweaty neck. “Didn’t mean to.”

“Are you saying you’ve never raided?” Szarel asked. “Never shot villagers in the back, never robbed merchants?”

“We’ve never stooped to the level of beasts.” Itil turned to the magister. “Lemme guess: we deserve punishment, too.”

“You do. But an eye for an eye brings blindness,” Szarel said. “Itil, Volnitsa, will not remain lawless or free for long. By kidnapping and refusing to return our people, the local rulers have attracted our attention. The Oath will come.” A small compartment opened in the sleeve of his armor, and the magister took out an ampoule. “And in the future, we will need loyal and law-abiding factotums.”

“Fak... facto... what?” Itil stared hard at the ampoule.

And the feeling of contempt did not disappear.

“Trusted persons willing to accept a new way of life to avoid retirement,” Szarel explained, holding out the ampoule, and she grabbed it. “Through an IV, this will buy him another five months. Upon return, I will report about your loyalty to the agreement, and you will be able to arrive for treatment, although my medic recommended placing the patient under our supervision…”

“No,” Itil snapped. “I haven’t been looking for him for so long to hand him over to strangers. And do not forget to mention to your bosses that it was he who provided you with the sketches of the insides of this wagon. He earned the best healing. The finest!”

“As you wish.” Szarel was glad of this outburst of emotion. Itil was capable of care and love. She wasn’t incorrigible, just tainted by growing up in the wild. “Itil, there is one more thing. I will need to infiltrate Draz’s lair. To ransom our kidnapped people, quietly, calmly, and without causing unnecessary disturbance.”

“Can’t really help here.” Itil drummed on the burns on her face. “His reward for the late tribute. Paikan didn’t give a damn, but Draz imagines himself to be the new ruler of Volnitsa and took offense on his behalf. Well, I took my displeasure out on his people. One thing followed another, and now, if the opportunity arises, he will rip my guts out and then strangle me with them. The bastard is as vengeful and vicious as he is cowardly.”

“Is there anyone here who is not at odds with the others?” asked Szarel.

“Oh, be simpler. You’re lucky, my dear; the safe return of your gang is in my best interests. My buddies will withhold information about you for a week or two and provide you with a map of the Empty. I send my payments to Paikan with them, so they know the area. You’ll have to exchange the currency to buy people with them yourself; I have no idea what your crosses are worth.”

He turned away from her. The sphere and its gentle captive were no longer on the bridge, and three technicians had reached up to their waists into the command panel near the throne, extracting everything valuable. All the cameras had long since been removed. The feeling of being watched had died down, vanished.

The magister spread his telekinesis across the room, creating a semblance of an invisible veil, thin and unobstructive. Every movement and even a simple breath violated its integrity, alerting him to the location of everyone present. Even an invisible spy could not hide from this effect without giving themselves away.

Nothing unusual.

“What’s the matter?” Itil asked, tucking the precious ampoule under a jumble of clothing and body armor. “I felt a tickle.”

“It seemed to me as if someone was spying on us. Looking at us with that look…”

“Yeah?”

“Full of disgust. As if we were bugs. I must be getting old and imagining things.”

“Try not to crumble.” Itil playfully nudged him with her elbow. “At least until you report how useful we were.”

****

“…I can also wash, cook, look after animals, sew, I know how to read and wash,” Sylvie chattered, walking next to a clicking woman in snow-white armor and a torn, bloody robe.

Soon after waking up in a strange place, Sylvie heard the other slaves offering their help to the servants of their masters. Their new overlords weren’t as scary or cruel as the previous ones. She was given several nutritious whitish bars and tasty chicken broth, a one-piece and warm jumpsuit of bright green color with orange crosses, a helmet, and soft clothes. The stupid and choking collar was removed from her neck, and the doctor treated her inflamed cuts and bruises while she greedily ate, swallowing the gray mass without chewing.

In truth, she wanted to hide under the blanket and rest, to get a good night’s sleep. But the girl learned how cruel the world was. Nothing good lasted long; sooner or later those who did not give their all would be punished. Sylvie intended to ensure an existence for herself and Rustam and wanted to prove her usefulness by any means necessary. She volunteered to help the new owners, and a strange woman with hooves instead of legs escorted her back to the wagon.

The sight of the damned machine that had devastated the settlement where Sylvie lived struck terror into her heart, and she even stumbled, surprised to find an encouraging gauntlet on her shoulder. The rest of the journey back was no longer so scary, especially after the girl noticed with vengeful pleasure the holes and melted cannons on the mechanical monster.

The creature is dead. You and your whole rabid pack. Now you will rot. All alone.

The passages no longer felt like narrow traps; no one was throwing her around, and there was no deafening noise pounding her ears and causing a constant headache. Even the air inside became cooler, not stuffy and without the slightest sourness.

“You are a very capable girl.” Crus-something-next gave her a thumbs up. “But you don’t have to talk so much; otherwise your throat will dry out.”

“Oh, I can be patient, lady. As long as you like.” Sylvie nodded, and the realization hit her like thunder. “If my voice irritates you, then I will shut up. Just tell me.”

They walked along the corridor where there had recently been a fight. Bullet holes covered the walls, one place looked like someone had punched their way through the partition, and they had to walk around the raider’s corpse covered with a tarp. Sylvie couldn’t help but kick the limp hand, wishing she could jump on him and hear the bones crack.

She hated these inhuman bastards.

“Chat as much as you like; it doesn’t bother me. I often can’t shut up myself.” The woman patted her head. “We’re already here. Here’s the door to the hold. If you want, we can chat over dinner later tonight, swap stories about traditions, maybe sing a few songs...”

“Ruda!” A roar filled the corridor.

With a clatter louder than Ruda’s hooves, a woman in bright scarlet robes hurried toward them. Taller than Sylvie’s escort by a full head and broader in the shoulders, the newcomer did not wear a helmet, and her brown hair, caught in a circlet, reached her shoulders, springing in time with her steps. Twisted cords and cables coming from the depths of the armor completely hid her neck, disappearing right into the lower jaw of a pale head.

“Sister Eloise...”

“Drop familiarity, Sariant. Commander Satanini ordered you to see the medics and recuperate,” the pale woman barked.

“I’m fine, and Sylvie needed a guide to Commander von Bülow …”

“You’ve already completed your objection.“ Eloise opened the door and pushed Sylvie forward. “Carde! Another worker. And you with me.” She dragged Ruda away by the shoulder.

“A volunteer? Come in, I’ll show you what to do,” a pleasant, flowing voice called from inside.

Sylvie stepped into the hold timidly, a little dazed by the activity within. Groups of adult slaves and newcomers were rummaging through piles of stolen treasure, setting the art objects apart from the precious metals. Instead of chopping off their hands for such impudence, as their previous owners had done, the current masters exchanged occasional jokes with their servants and even allowed them to drink from their own flasks, occasionally directing their work.

Gold, silver, and bronze coins jingled to the left and right and even underfoot. Marble statues of long-dead kings, stuck into waist-deep piles of treasure, stared sternly at the people. Some idols were covered in cracks; several were missing limbs. Besides them, there were scattered many things that were so incredible that the girl was breathless with delight. Music boxes sat next to slightly tattered paintings, belts decorated with emeralds hung from bright white candelabra, diamonds and rubies lay on precious fabrics and sparkled in the electric light.

And it was all stolen. Won by force and paid for with the tears of my kind. I am just a grain of sand, nothing serving the current robbers. Sylvie reminded herself. For her sake and Rustam’s, she must prove herself. Otherwise, they would face the whip, or worse.

A figure in dark black armor, kneeling by a huge stone slab, beckoned to her, and the girl rushed toward him, bowing immediately. Like her companion, he was too big for a human.

“Sylvie Bright, I am ready to do your bidding, lord!”

“Hush, child.” The man removed his helmet. His black skin had a slight ashen tint, and his hair was white, just like the serfs Dad bought for the farming seasons. “Calm down. Look. It was a plaque, a kind of chronicle, created by a civilization that dated its existence and disappearance long before the foundation of the Old World.”

Sylvie complied, not quite understanding what the strange man was talking about. At first glance, it was an ordinary, roughly carved slab, but then the light illuminated its surface, and she gasped. Like blooming bouquets of flowers, shells, somehow inserted inside, decorated the stone, creating circular patterns. The gold ore that framed the writing emphasized each letter of the unfamiliar language, and even in places where time or external influences had torn away part of the carving, the shape of the ore helped to guess the outline of a letter. The faded colors of the shells and gold shimmered, mixing into a single beautiful rainbow, and highlights of light reflected from other treasures ran along the edges of the writing like yellow stars.

“Beautiful...” Sylvie whispered.

“True,” agreed Carde. “The people who made this wonder lived on a series of islands in the middle of a vast ocean. They traded with their neighbors on land, exchanging fish for iron, and did not have a powerful army or a strong navy. Believe it or not, they and many others existed before the very first chain mail. And now we have a chance to admire their works of art. The language is not entirely clear to me; it is probably their old dialect, different from the later versions. No problem, we will soon decipher it and even bring back the mollusks if it is possible to restore or extract at least part of their DNA for cloning. Isn’t that fascinating?”

“Why return them?”

“Because they played their role in the ecosystem. And if we want to one day leave our descendants a worthy ocean, then we need to resurrect so many extinct life forms!”

“What is an ocean?” asked Sylvie.

Carde’s flawless face smiled. “A miracle of nature, which the Oath is already returning to our world. Remind me later, I’ll show you this majestic and wayward blue on the video. But first, we must deliver everything that is here to our cruiser.”

“How can I carry off such a heavy thing?!” Sylvie frowned and immediately bowed, scolding herself for her stupidity. She will be whipped, undoubtedly whipped or kicked! “Forgive me, sir! I am a fool; I should not have said anything. I’ll come up with something…”

“Sylvie.” Carde stood up, frightening the girl. “You shouldn’t berate yourself, even if you mistakenly think that it’s true. And don’t worry about the chronicle. I or the workers will take it. Your task here is different. You need to help us sort the objects in the hall without accidentally dropping anything in your pockets so that the inspectors will have less work later, Gosha.”

He glanced to the side, and a young mutant leaned over and dropped a few coins from his work overalls, picking up a small vase. The bit of skin visible between the bony growths turned red, either from shame or from being caught. The soldier standing next to him slapped him, anyway.

“Enough, enough,” Carde chided. “Young people wouldn’t be young if they didn’t do stupid things.”

“All the more reason to correct such behavior immediately, fighting brother,” the soldier responded. “That’s what we’re adults for.”

“A wise approach. Just remember that these guys have already taken more than enough blows for a lifetime.” The master spread his arms and clapped his hands, sending a light breeze in all directions. His cloak fluttered, and the workers turned to face him. “We don’t have free labor here. Your efforts will be adequately compensated with usable money. Continue.” He turned to Sylvie, ignoring the sound of coins falling and even a couple of bowls accompanied by the guards’ exasperated sighs. “You’ll need to sort things. Fragile to the left side of the hold, solid, like vases, dishes, and the like, to the right.”

“And if I am not sure whether an object is fragile or solid?” Sylvie looked at the luxurious carpet hanging from the closet. It was recently added, and she knew this green embroidery.

Scum. I hope you suffered. She wanted to go up and touch the fabric, to remember the good days, but she didn’t dare. The world was divided into slaves and rulers; no matter how sweet their current owners behaved, eventually they would show their true colors. All non-humans were monsters.

“In that case, it is better to err on the side of caution.” The master patted her neck.

At least animals prey on animals. A small justice. Sylvie began to examine the things, pulling some away and helping with the careful packing. It was not part of her job, but the girl tried to learn everything she could, and knowing how to tie strong knots and carefully stack boxes and plates, covering them with packing paper so that they would not break during transportation, could not hurt.

The ease with which the other slaves communicated with the guards was intimidating. She wanted to scream at them to stop provoking them and playing the owners’ cruel game, but that would give her away. She had to work, earning herself and Rustam a day tomorrow. From time to time, she glanced at Carde, tormented by curiosity.

“You have a question. Ask,” he said, without looking at her.

Sylvie froze, wanting only to disappear. Fool, I am such a moron! Speak, don’t be silent, otherwise they’ll beat you! Obey, obey!

“Master…” Carde raised a finger. “Lord?” The finger wobbled. “Mister,” she dared, and the hand dropped, and he turned to her. “You mentioned the return of the moll… well, those, what’s their name, creatures! Can people be returned in the same manner?”

“Cloning allows you to recreate the body. Sometimes down to the last scar, although this is still unattainable for the Oathtakers. There is only one country capable of this. But even they cannot restore a person’s personality, their soul, this mysterious gift from God. A human resurrected in this way will be an entirely different person, often without even the blessing of the original,” explained Carde.

Knew it. Mom won’t come back. Sylvie wiped her sweat, furtively wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “Were you also freed from the bandits?” she asked, hoping to distract the owner.

“No, the Bülows have served the Oath for eight generations. Traditionally, the third offspring of our family always goes into the army, and the second into business to earn a worthy inheritance without resorting to civil strife, so my father called archeology a science worthy of cowardly wives and kicked me into the order in the hope of making a real man out of me. I periodically send him photos and my history books, published at the national level. I enjoy keeping the old man in shape,” laughed Carde.

Oh, how it happens. Sylvie almost advised him to be more respectful to his parents but wisely kept her opinion to herself. He was just pretending. All non-humans were capable of cruelty, falsehood, and little else. If she ever saw her dad again, she would immediately apologize for all her pranks, becoming the best daughter in the world.

****

Rustam opened his glued eyelids, staring at the plain white ceiling, not quite believing that he was still alive and hearing light tapping, as if someone was sticking a spear into the grate. Surprisingly, he did not feel any pain, although he felt broken pieces of teeth in his gums. His uniform and weapons were gone, and in their place he was dressed in an unfamiliar green robe, marked with a black pentagram on the shoulder. The ear in which the eardrum had burst was covered with an unknown fabric, but the strangest thing was his cheek.

Instead of a torn hole, he had skin! Rough to the touch, and he could not see its color, no matter how hard he pulled his normal skin, but when his tongue touched it, he felt the touch, albeit a very numb one.

How long did I sleep? Marveled the boy, touching the new neck with his finger and worrying about tearing it. The ghosts of his family and pleasant smells evoked by the veil disappeared, and he realized how much he longed for the return of the intoxicating fog. These clouds of smoke allowed him to visit a place where everything was fine, where his family was with him...

Unreal. That’s what it was. Stop dreaming, coward.

He lay on the bed, covered with a thin blanket, with a spacious pillow behind his back. Nothing bothered him; even the bruises on his chest had dissolved, becoming barely noticeable dark spots. Discovering the absence of pants and underwear, he blushed, fearing the worst.

“Ow,” came a voice from the left, and Rustam heard plastic hitting the tray.

A palm’s length away from him, on exactly the same bed, sat a boy, leaning against pillows. They were both dressed similarly and were of similar age, but the stranger shocked Rustam with the color of his snow-white, almost transparent skin through which the threads of his veins were visible.

Untidy, long black locks covered the second boy like a cloak, reaching the floor. Gray eyes stared at Rustam in fear, and a thin, bird-foot-like hand tried to lift a spoon from the tray standing above the overbed table. A plate full of soup, smelling deliciously of cabbage and meat, was secured in the tray's recess.

“Hi. I’m Rustam.” Rustam introduced himself, holding out his hand and speaking with a whistle due to the air escaping through the hole where his front tooth had been. The second boy cringed, and he noticed the bandages that covered his arms and neck so tightly that from the side they looked like a white sweater. “Won’t hurt you. Honest. Do you know where we ended up?”

“Rescue... saved,” the boy answered, cheering up after hearing the words. He swallowed and pronounced the words syllable by syllable, pointing to his chest with his thumb, “Grisha.”

“Nice to meet you, Grisha.”

He was probably beaten until he became a dotard. Rustam thought with pity, carefully shaking Grisha’s hand. The boy had no calluses or normal muscles, and he was worried about accidentally hurting him.

Looking around, Rustam discovered they were at the end of an oblong room, smoothly fading past the door around the corner. The floor and walls were flat, without the slightest trace of rust or nicks. Identical beds stood in orderly rows along the entire length to the entrance. On several of them, slaves he knew were fast asleep.

The girl who served the artillerymen, always coughing up blood, was dozing near the front door, covered with a blanket. Next to her was an unusual device on which rubber expanded and contracted, driving air through a tube going into her throat. The scullion, scalded by the soup yesterday, resembled a fly swaddled in cobwebs because of the layer of bandages. Rustam did not know the others well, but there were three dozen people here. The strange knocking of sharp spears continued, coming without any rhythm.

Since my cheek and ear were treated, and the others are also alive, it doesn’t look like they plan to eat us. He calmed down, looking around. But where is Sylvie? And the rest?

“I’m not stupid,” Grisha suddenly said, frowning. “Not retarded. Just… taken. Locked.”

“I didn’t say…”

“You thought! Surely thought!” The spoon slipped from the boy’s fingers again.

Is he reading my mind? Rustam wasn’t even surprised by this. Anything could happen. “My bad. I shouldn’t have assumed that. I was kidnapped too. And now we’ve been stolen from our kidnappers,” he joked. “Do you need help to eat before the soup gets cold? It’s not difficult for me.”

“Yes,” Grisha said quietly. “Thank you.”

Rustam moved to the edge of the bed, took a spoon, and began feeding the kid. The smell made his stomach rumble, but the idea of stealing from the exhausted little one seemed unthinkable. He was strong; it was not his first time to wait a couple of days without food. The boys talked, and Rustam noticed Grisha’s manner of using simple or occasionally incorrect words. But in general, he really was not stupid, just scared.

“Grisha, do you know what will happen to us? And I was with a brown-haired girl; her name is Sylvie. I have not heard anything about her.”

The face of the long-haired boy twisted, and he swallowed with difficulty, scratching his temple. Rustam reached out to touch him, but Grisha broke out of a strange stupor and gulped more soup.

“There’s a 97.9 percent chance that you’ll have your teeth drilled in the next twenty minutes,” he said clearly and monotonously. “Based on most factors, there’s an 87 percent chance that Sylvie is in the destroyed land train. 13 percent point to her presence in the wardroom watching training videos.”

“What’s she doing in the damn behemoth?! And who and why will drill my teeth?!” Rustam exclaimed, stopping when a shadow of pain flashed across Grisha’s face. He clenched his teeth, hitting himself on the bulging vein on his head. “You with me? Should I call someone? Maybe you should lie down?”

“No. Want soup,” Grisha squeezed out. “Food, normal food. Delicious. Just... questions. It’s unpleasant to answer precisely. It’s pounding from within.”

“No need for precision. Eat and rest,” Rustam said quickly, puzzled. Precisely? What does he mean?

“But how will I repay your help then...”

“No need. You don’t owe me anything.” And I certainly don’t want to see your skull explode. “No need for any… percentages if they hurt you.”

“Work your jaw less, patient.”

Rustam froze, his heart skipping a beat from the inhuman bulk looming over him. Attached to a long, flower-like stalk ending in a sharp sting was a semblance of a human torso, turned towards the children, on which were two three-fingered hands and a head stretched back, tapering towards the temple. Six bunches of window-like eyes hung over mandibles that completely covered the mouth.

The creature moved on six flexible, hairy, multi-jointed legs, sticking them into the ceiling and producing the sound of a spear strike. With inhuman grace, the creature, covered in blue chitin, moved to hang over the children, studying them with its black eyes. In its hand, covered in transparent tape, it held scissors.

“Judging by the slow breathing and shock, you have never met an Insectone?” The insect’s mandibles snapped, producing ordinary human speech.

“Don’t... don’t eat us, Master,” Rustam asked weakly. “I can do the work of two. Three! Give Grisha a little while, and he’ll too...”

“Ah, you’ve already become friends! Commendable, socialization helps improve your mood.” The looming monster nodded, and three of its limbs, two legs and a free arm, descended on Rustam and turned his head, exposing his injured cheek. When touched, the limbs turned out to be hard, like the branches of a dry tree. “The synthetic skin took root adequately. The artificial nerves have already connected with the natural endings, and even the burn mark has fallen off. Over time, this patch will disappear. It’ll be absorbed by your biological tissues, but until then, be moderate in opening your mouth.”

“Hello, Officer Cenfus,” Grisha said syllable by syllable.

“Chief Physician Cenfus. How are you feeling, Grishechka? No abdominal pain, involuntary emptiness of the stomach, or urination?” the creature asked, speaking in a male voice.

Still stupefied, Rustam did not resist as Cenfus unceremoniously examined him like a doll. Hearing Grisha calmly answer questions about his well-being, the boy’s heartbeat calmed down a little from the knowledge that they would not be killed. For now, anyway.

“My name is...”

“Rustam, yes, I know. Young Sylvie buzzed to us about you, how you saved her, what a good worker and soldier you are, and then she took off.“ Cenfus let him go. “As far as I know, you had a rather unpleasant encounter with Sariant Ruda.”

Ruda? Ah, that bitch who wanted to off me. His hand trembled with remembered fear. “You could say that, master.”

“Stop this nonsense. Masters.” Cenfus’s mandibles opened wide, revealing a round mouth without teeth. He snorted, completely indistinguishable from a human. “Your masters are dead. Every single one of them. That’s it, you’re free. Now we will treat you, fatten you up—no, not for that, don’t googly your eyes, fool—and send you back to your families.”

“I doubt it’ll happen,” Rustam said grimly, clenching his fists. A few weeks. Just a few damn weeks earlier, and he wouldn’t have been alone.

Cenfus stopped his tirade, looked at him, and patted him on the shoulder. “My condolences. Don’t give up; claw out your own happiness. At the orphanage you’ll be helped. Now about you, Grisha. It’s time to trim your hair; otherwise, you’ll stumble at every step.”

Grisha leaned back on the pillows, trying to move away from the approaching doctor, and stared at the scissors in his hand. “No need to cut,” he babbled with whitened lips. “No cuts, please, no more.”

“It doesn’t hurt!” Rustam said quickly. He pulled a hair from his balding head and showed it to the boy. “No blood, nothing. I promise you won’t even feel anything. Cenfus, is it okay if I cut it? Grisha seems afraid of strangers.”

“Yeah, and he knows you,” the hanging insect mocked. He handed the scissors to Rustam and helped him stand up. “Well, your legs are fine. Your posture is terrible; one shoulder is much lower than the other, and there is a slight limp.” He pulled out a small black rectangular object from the hollow between his leg joints and began typing, nodding as Rustam cut two strands of hair from the seated boy’s head. “There is no tremor in the fingers; coordination is not impaired. Do you feel any tangible side effects of the drug? Dizziness, disorientation, itching...”

Over the next few minutes, Rustam answered incessant questions, working on Grisha’s head with all possible care. He did not strive for beauty; the boy himself could adjust his hair later as he needed.

“You mentioned a word. Insectone. Well, I have seen a creature similar to you,” said Rustam. “Latif was an insect, too.”

“A human. As much as I’d like to think of him as a nit, his ancestors, and mine, are descended from humans,” declared Cenfus. “Oh, it’s a shame they didn’t let me join the boarders to shake off the old dust. I wanted to skin a certain bastard so much.”

“He would have killed you,” said Grisha. The veins on his temples bulged. “If you and he had clashed, Latif would have torn you apart.”

“Do you think I would have gone at him bare-handed?” The doctor inclined his head. “Without my assortment of poisons, without weapons or armor?”

“Ouch.” Grisha grimaced, pressing his hand to his face. “Yes, you wouldn’t. In that case, you would have won with an 86 percent probability.” He shuddered, sobbing.

“It hurts Grisha to answer precise questions,” Ruslan butted in. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but his head throbs when he tries to do calculations.”

“I noticed,” said the doctor. “I am specifically assessing the approximate capabilities and limits of his gift. He seems to be a precog, limited by his perception. First, Grisha asked his power the wrong question and received an inaccurate answer. A rare gift and potentially useful, but in no way valuable enough to justify years of isolation in that damned prison.”

Cenfus lowered his face to Grisha’s eye level and raised his hand, showing the boys a simple dark-colored pill.

“Let’s set some rules. As my patient, you will not use your power. Not for thanks, not for appeasement. Just forget about it and recover.”

“So I can never use it?”

“Did I say that? You are no longer connected to the life support system that relieved most of the stress associated with using your power. Now you will need to learn how to wield it safely. But that will be later, after full recovery. Otherwise, I will feed you a power suppression pill. It is not a pleasant thing, and I do not mean the taste. You will still have the ability; you will still know how to use it.” His faceted eyes did not reflect anything. “But you will not be able to use it. This oppressive, disgusting feeling is akin to paralysis, but for the sake of your health, I will do it. Do you believe me, Grisha?“ The boy nodded convulsively, grabbing himself by the shoulders. “Excellent. So we understood each other. Eat, rest, sleep, and talk. Explore the world.”

“Do you really need to scare a child, Cenfus?” asked a voice from the entrance.

Only now did Rustam notice a tall Long Arms entering the medical bay. With the exception of the mirrored vambraces, his armor was painted in a dark tone, on which the outlines of strange inscriptions were discernible, made in such a black color that it seemed as if they absorbed the light itself. His arms were so long that he not only folded them behind his back but also grabbed his shoulders from behind, holding up a black cape embroidered with silver thread. Gray, alien, taut skin covered the stranger’s earless head.

A soldier stopped behind him, an ordinary-looking man. He held horizontally a richly decorated staff, ending in a predatory, gleaming sword-shaped head.

The armored giant stomped towards the company without worrying about the passages being too narrow. Beds with sleeping children moved out of his way on their own, seamlessly returning to their previous positions as he passed by. Out of surprise and fear of the inhuman, Rustam dropped the scissors, and they hung in the air. Trying not to look defiant, he took them and stood in front of Grisha. Just in case.

“Yes. Grisha lived for ten or more years in pitch darkness. He developed a habit of using his strength to avoid punishment with electric shocks and in exchange for conversations, no matter how short or rude they were. Add to this the fact that he saw the outside world through his power, and we are dealing with a subconscious addiction. And we will break it for his own well-being... Halt! Get out of the infirmary with this stick!” Cenfus rushed towards the entrance, almost hitting Grey Face.

“Tradition demands that the magister and his weapon must be inseparable…” the soldier began.

“Shove them up your ass, soft-skinned,” the doctor whispered furiously, hanging from the ceiling above the fearless soldier. “I have patients here! What if one of them twitches or runs into this glorified skewer? Outside, now. And lift this shit point up, for the Planet’s sake.”

“Don’t you dare call the sword-staff a skewer, you overgrown cockroach.”

“Where’s your staff, Cenfus?” Grey Face asked emotionlessly.

“Practicing. You made me take a bunch of untested recruits with me. All the serious cases have already been handled, and currently the greenhorns are training under the supervision of their betters.” Cenfus distracted from his squabble with the soldier. “We’ll make proper nurses and doctors out of this fainting, chicken-hearted bunch yet.”

“No wonder you’re so jumpy,” the soldier said with feigned sympathy. “You had to work with your hands for the first time in the last decade.”

“Don’t forget who prescribes your vitamins, Butylin.”

“Thanks for the reminder; I’ll say greetings to her later.”

“And how is our guest?” asked the magister.

“Muscles on the verge of atrophy, several poorly healing abscesses, we managed to prevent blood poisoning and save his leg. His thoughts are clear; he has not yet shown any addiction to the drugs, no allergies, he has an appetite. Not bad, considering what he had to go through,” reported Cenfus. “You were right, he has a superpower. Prediction. Nothing impressive, but it is not for me to evaluate his strength. For now he needs injections...”

“No!” Grisha screamed, trying to roll out of bed. “No needles! No tubes! Please, no, please...”

“Grisha, everything is fine.” Rustam hugged him.

“Stop the hysteria, patient,” the doctor clicked his mandibles in irritation. “There is nothing to worry about.”

“No! I will be good, I will do anything, just don’t prick me...”

“Is it possible to treat him without syringes?” asked Grey Face.

“Szarel, don’t participate in this stupidity.” The magister turned around and looked at the doctor. He clicked his tongue. “Yes. It is neither optimal nor reasonable, but yes. Doable.”

“Then let’s make a concession to our young patient,” said Szarel, and Grisha fell silent and smiled with hope.

“Wonderful. Why did I take psychology courses and study and still study medicine? Everyone here knows better than me what patients need.” Cenfus threw up his hands. In his performance, his hands went down, slapping the panel near the door and closing it, cutting off the soldier’s laughter. “Why overcome internal fears, let’s indulge them. What do I know, after all? I only served three magisters of the order. An ignoramus, nothing more.”

“So... there won’t be any injections?” Grisha asked timidly.

“There will be none,” Szarel assured dryly. “And do not think ill of Cenfus. He is prone to grumbling, but since he left the ranks of the Crusaders for a more noble aspiration, he has saved thousands of lives. He is a noble and caring man...”

With the speed of a released arrow, Cenfus ran across the ceiling, reaching and grabbing Rustam.

“All this commotion knocked me off my train of thought.” His film-covered hands caught Rustam, lifting him with ease. “It’s time to take care of your teeth and put in dentures.”

Nothing impressive, sure. Rustam held back the urge to scream. He still didn’t believe that this creature could be considered a human, but a slight toothache certainly couldn’t be anything too unbearable. He was much more worried about his new acquaintance. On the other hand, Szarel, or whatever his name was, didn’t inspire him with any sense of danger like that scum with hooves.

“In the meantime, I’ll ask Grisha a few questions,” Szarel said.

“If he tries to force you to use the power, shout. I’ll kick his butt,” Cenfus told the boy, carrying Rustam to the turn.

“Chief Physician Cenfus, watch your language. Kindergarten may have fallen on our heads, but this is no excuse for us to fall into childhood ourselves and demonstrate behavior unworthy of a venerable servant of the Oath.”

Any input is welcomed. And apologies for the poor quality of the work, I'm still learning how to be a writer and so far the worst writer around these parts. If that is important, my end goal is not to make money with my work but to write something I enjoy and am proud of and earn comments from readers.
 
Last edited:

TheTaintedOne

New member
Joined
Feb 7, 2025
Messages
25
Points
3
I would appreciate it for you to read my novel. It's epic fantasy with dark theme, if you love show burn with raw emotions, then you would probably like it.

Name: The Dragon's Blood

 

LeilaniOtter

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2025
Messages
1,185
Points
113
Does this only go for stories that have been posted? Or are you looking at stories that havent been posted yet (i.e. through google drive or somesuch)?
I'd prefer ones already here online at ScribbleHub, where I can see them, like them, and maybe add to my reading list.
I would appreciate it for you to read my novel. It's epic fantasy with dark theme, if you love show burn with raw emotions, then you would probably like it.

Name: The Dragon's Blood

Sure can. I've got three people ahead of you but I can read your first chapter in a day or so. *^^*
 

LeilaniOtter

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2025
Messages
1,185
Points
113
I'm curious too. What bug are you talking about? :)

And if you don't mind smut, my only novel - at the moment - is the one in my signature. Thank you!


For some reason, all but one of my books won't show up in search results nor are present in "Latest updates" I've sent a note to Tony asking for an explanation, so I'm not posting anything else until this gets worked out.

And of course, I'll have time to look at yours today or tomorrow.
 

velvetvertigo

Member
Joined
Apr 26, 2025
Messages
33
Points
18
For some reason, all but one of my books won't show up in search results nor are present in "Latest updates" I've sent a note to Tony asking for an explanation, so I'm not posting anything else until this gets worked out.

And of course, I'll have time to look at yours today or tomorrow.
There's no rush at all. I hope they'll fix your problem :)
 

JoshA

New member
Joined
May 30, 2025
Messages
10
Points
3
Could you please check out mine though I haven't written much I want to have a review of the first chapter
 
Top