Want feedbacks from an amateur?

[RiverDain]

Hi! You can always train Chat GPT by sending in your text and asking it to correct your spelling without changing the originality of the text. Afterwards, read through the adjusted version and spot if there are any differences in the spelling. I used to change every word individually instead of copying and pasting the text for the same reason. It’s also a way for me to learn and improve my writing. I hope the command helps you to train the butler heh.

That said, I would like for you to bring back your original writing! The story is progressing nicely but the Chat GPT edits kinda ruined the reading experience for me. If you’re able to use AI editing to a minimum, that would be really great!

I'll definetly keep this in mind! Thank you! ?

 

[Valmond]

Be confused-nya.

Wait a minute, Hoshino…?

 

[Hoshino]

Wait a minute, Hoshino…?

No-nya.

 

[ImmortalBard]

Dump your links here and I’ll give you a wonderful bs review! (With sincerity! Straight from the heart!)

(I’m an inexperienced, unprofessional author/reader so take my words lightly. I’m doing this for fun because I’m bored. Feel free to disagree with my opinions, I just want to see how people write their stories)

I have no requirements. I read everything and anything (but I’m more familiar with BL lol)

And you can roast mine: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1161828/return-to-you-who-is-lost-bl/

Roots of Power

When Nemo woke to pain in his soul and whispers in his mind, he knew the truth: he had been cursed by the gods — tainted in the process known as rooting. Marked for an endless war, ripped from his friends, and thrown into a war against monsters and beings that...

www.scribblehub.com

Thank you for checking it out!

 

[Yuin]

Roots of Power

When Nemo woke to pain in his soul and whispers in his mind, he knew the truth: he had been cursed by the gods — tainted in the process known as rooting. Marked for an endless war, ripped from his friends, and thrown into a war against monsters and beings that...

www.scribblehub.com

Thank you for checking it out!

Hi! I just read your novel up to Chapter 5, and here are my thoughts:

- The book cover is exceptionally well done and very eye catching!
- The synopsis does a good job of summarising the story and establishing its philosophy.
- As I read Chapter 1, I noticed a similarity to how I write. Instead of starting with the usual name and appearance introduction, you took your time to explore the MC’s psychological state, using the mirror as a tool to reveal their character. I really liked that!
- I felt that Fen was mostly used as a plot device to show the consequences of the phenomenon called “rooting,” which is further explained in Chapter 2.
- The world where the story takes place feels very fantastical. Smth about the metal and subway imagery stood out. The language helped me visualise the setting clearly, and since I’ve played a lot of games, I could grasp the concept fairly quickly.
- That said, some parts felt overwritten and repetitive. The heavy focus on sensory details and info dumping might overwhelm readers and make them feel like they’re being talked down to.
- My first impression of “rooting” was that it might be linked to divine intervention by different gods representing human sins or concepts, but it turns out to be a phenomenon caused by the cataclysm. So I was a little confused about why the MC has three rootings if they’re supposedly of the same nature. Maybe I missed something?
- Chapters 3–4 were interesting. The climax with the train submerging into the Atlantis waters and the encounter with the creature was especially engaging.
- However, the connection between why Awakened individuals can’t enter the water and the creature’s appearance feels a bit weak. What makes rooting so attractive to the creatures? What is rooting, beyond it causing mental instability? The story doesn’t really explain the nature or laws behind the phenomenon.
- So… the MC actually ate part of the monster?
- Overall, the writing is very immersive. It keeps readers hooked even if they gloss over some of the denser information. However, I feel like the MC’s goals aren’t clear and personal from the start.

 

[ImmortalBard]

Hi! I just read your novel up to Chapter 5, and here are my thoughts:

- The book cover is exceptionally well done and very eye catching!
- The synopsis does a good job of summarising the story and establishing its philosophy.
- As I read Chapter 1, I noticed a similarity to how I write. Instead of starting with the usual name and appearance introduction, you took your time to explore the MC’s psychological state, using the mirror as a tool to reveal their character. I really liked that!
- I felt that Fen was mostly used as a plot device to show the consequences of the phenomenon called “rooting,” which is further explained in Chapter 2.
- The world where the story takes place feels very fantastical. Smth about the metal and subway imagery stood out. The language helped me visualise the setting clearly, and since I’ve played a lot of games, I could grasp the concept fairly quickly.
- That said, some parts felt overwritten and repetitive. The heavy focus on sensory details and info dumping might overwhelm readers and make them feel like they’re being talked down to.
- My first impression of “rooting” was that it might be linked to divine intervention by different gods representing human sins or concepts, but it turns out to be a phenomenon caused by the cataclysm. So I was a little confused about why the MC has three rootings if they’re supposedly of the same nature. Maybe I missed something?
- Chapters 3–4 were interesting. The climax with the train submerging into the Atlantis waters and the encounter with the creature was especially engaging.
- However, the connection between why Awakened individuals can’t enter the water and the creature’s appearance feels a bit weak. What makes rooting so attractive to the creatures? What is rooting, beyond it causing mental instability? The story doesn’t really explain the nature or laws behind the phenomenon.
- So… the MC actually ate part of the monster?
- Overall, the writing is very immersive. It keeps readers hooked even if they gloss over some of the denser information. However, I feel like the MC’s goals aren’t clear and personal from the start.

Thank you so much for your review! I have to agree with you about the info-dump and the repetition in Chapter 2. It’s an unfortunate leftover from a rewrite.

That said, I was wondering: did the fact that so many questions were raised without being answered right away take away from your enjoyment? Or did it make you want to keep reading to find out what was going on?

Either way, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review!

 

[Yuin]

Thank you so much for your review! I have to agree with you about the info-dump and the repetition in Chapter 2. It’s an unfortunate leftover from a rewrite.

That said, I was wondering: did the fact that so many questions were raised without being answered right away take away from your enjoyment? Or did it make you want to keep reading to find out what was going on?

Either way, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review!

Hi! Don’t worry about the questions I asked. It’s just me being curious and interested. I’m not sure if they get explained in the later chapters, but I’d feel a bit sad if they end up being neglected and the story just moves forward. Anyways, I can overlook that. I’m just a sucker for really detailed explanations!

 

[Deleted member 207087]

Dump your links here and I’ll give you a wonderful bs review! (With sincerity! Straight from the heart!)

(I’m an inexperienced, unprofessional author/reader so take my words lightly. I’m doing this for fun because I’m bored. Feel free to disagree with my opinions, I just want to see how people write their stories)

I have no requirements. I read everything and anything (but I’m more familiar with BL lol)

And you can roast mine: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1161828/return-to-you-who-is-lost-bl/

Hi, I just released my first book and I would love to get some feedback.

It's a Sci-fi / Action story.

Link: Redshade | Scribble Hub

 

[Yuin]

Hi, I just released my first book and I would love to get some feedback.

It's a Sci-fi / Action story.

Link: Redshade | Scribble Hub

Hi! I just read chapter 1 and here are my thoughts:

- The synopsis was well done! It didn’t completely reveal the plot and left room for readers to anticipate how Ethan becomes a hero. Will it be through power from another dimension or the asteroid? That curiosity definitely hooked me.
- Chapter 1 was an easy read since the language wasn’t overly descriptive or literary. It’s simple, though there were a few repetitive elements like Lila being angry. I was hoping for more variety in language and deeper descriptions, but it works as is.
- At first, the section about the project work felt a bit redundant. Ethan could’ve just been late to the meetup at the park to jumpstart the action. But I get that you wanted to show the trio’s dynamic, so I can overlook that.
- One thing I noticed was the sudden shift in setting. There was a format like “Meanwhile…” that made the transition feel abrupt. While it didn’t impact this chapter too much, I hope you explore with other ways to introduce scene changes later on, rather than sticking to just one format.
- That said, the story starts off strong with the meteor shower and the buildup around Ethan’s motivation to become a hero. I really hope nothing tragic happens to the family, it’s not going to be the classic “family dies” backstory, right?

 

[huitzer]

Dump your links here and I’ll give you a wonderful bs review! (With sincerity! Straight from the heart!)

(I’m an inexperienced, unprofessional author/reader so take my words lightly. I’m doing this for fun because I’m bored. Feel free to disagree with my opinions, I just want to see how people write their stories)

I have no requirements. I read everything and anything (but I’m more familiar with BL lol)

And you can roast mine: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1161828/return-to-you-who-is-lost-bl/

(Not) The Chosen One

A young man named Jak Nol is found by Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn on his remote planet, Torkek, in the Outer Rim. Intrigued by his natural affinity with the Force, Qui-Gon takes him back to Coruscant to see if the Jedi Council will allow him to train him as...

www.scribblehub.com

Short read for you, Star Wars fanfiction :D

 

[Sszh]

Hello ! I hope you're well, I would like to have some feedback on my work, on the language too because I am practicing my English at the same time. It is a mix of SF and Fantasy with a lot of mysteries.

Here !

 

[LuoirM]

hi dere, mind giving me baby girl a shot

SSS-Rank Flame Brat Dominates The Academy With A System

'I will be the strongest sorcerer in the world!' Ash said, with her mom chasing right behind trying to spank her for not finishing the vegetables. In a world of 8 different elemental attributes, a girl was born with a humble and basic [Fire] attribute, yet she grew up to...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Yuin]

hi dere, mind giving me baby girl a shot

SSS-Rank Flame Brat Dominates The Academy With A System

'I will be the strongest sorcerer in the world!' Ash said, with her mom chasing right behind trying to spank her for not finishing the vegetables. In a world of 8 different elemental attributes, a girl was born with a humble and basic [Fire] attribute, yet she grew up to...

www.scribblehub.com

Mate, am I tripping or like did you post this story three times on my thread
Not sure if you missed my feedback on your story (which I’ve read on Webnovel), so I’m just gonna post it again here:

Hi! I just read your story until chapter 3 and here’s my thoughts:

- it’s not bad for a first timer (I assume). There wasn’t any info dumping and walls of text. Everything was explained through dialogues and actions. The paragraphing also made it easy for me to read and I enjoy the story format.
- In chapter 1, I have identified some sentence structure problems. The obvious ones have been highlighted by someone named TheDarkLiz.
For example:
“In the world of swords and magic, of invention and monarchy. A girl who was way over her head.”
This is a fragmented sentence. You can rephrase it as “In a world of swords and magic, of invention and monarchy, there was a girl in far over her head,” to make it a complete sentence.
Another one is the “Cecilia was mad, indeed she was,” this isn’t grammatically wrong but it will be smoother if you change it to “Cecilia was indeed mad.”
- There’s many elements that are repeated (like the spanking lol) but I understand it is to build the heartwarming relationship between the mother and daughter.
- chapter 2 was kinda abrupt with the introduction of the MC’s birth ummm. You also repeated words like “something” and “no one” in order to make the narration more dramatic, which I can tell but it disrupts the flow of the story.
- Okay but the interactions are funny and give a warm touch to the story.
- Lowkey, I feel like chapter 1 and 2 should switch around since chapter 3 is the continuation of chapter 1. But you can keep it the same, it’s just my opinion.
- Overall, it’s a very cute story. Chapter 1 is a bit of a rough start and chapter 2 did not help with that because there’s many elements that have been already introduced and mentioned in chapter 1 and chapter 2 just repeats it but with the support of the MC’s backstory and further elaboration. Chapter 3 finally set the story tone and chapter 4 continues it so it’s clearer and smoother to read.
- The name is creative and original so I’ll give you that. Otherwise, you have established the story’s genre well!

If you want me to read more chapters and give more feedback, I’m happy to help.
And congrats on posting your story on ScribbleHub!

 

[LuoirM]

Mate, am I tripping or like did you post this story three times on my thread
Not sure if you missed my feedback on your story (which I’ve read on Webnovel), so I’m just gonna post it again here:

Hi! I just read your story until chapter 3 and here’s my thoughts:

- it’s not bad for a first timer (I assume). There wasn’t any info dumping and walls of text. Everything was explained through dialogues and actions. The paragraphing also made it easy for me to read and I enjoy the story format.
- In chapter 1, I have identified some sentence structure problems. The obvious ones have been highlighted by someone named TheDarkLiz.
For example:
“In the world of swords and magic, of invention and monarchy. A girl who was way over her head.”
This is a fragmented sentence. You can rephrase it as “In a world of swords and magic, of invention and monarchy, there was a girl in far over her head,” to make it a complete sentence.
Another one is the “Cecilia was mad, indeed she was,” this isn’t grammatically wrong but it will be smoother if you change it to “Cecilia was indeed mad.”
- There’s many elements that are repeated (like the spanking lol) but I understand it is to build the heartwarming relationship between the mother and daughter.
- chapter 2 was kinda abrupt with the introduction of the MC’s birth ummm. You also repeated words like “something” and “no one” in order to make the narration more dramatic, which I can tell but it disrupts the flow of the story.
- Okay but the interactions are funny and give a warm touch to the story.
- Lowkey, I feel like chapter 1 and 2 should switch around since chapter 3 is the continuation of chapter 1. But you can keep it the same, it’s just my opinion.
- Overall, it’s a very cute story. Chapter 1 is a bit of a rough start and chapter 2 did not help with that because there’s many elements that have been already introduced and mentioned in chapter 1 and chapter 2 just repeats it but with the support of the MC’s backstory and further elaboration. Chapter 3 finally set the story tone and chapter 4 continues it so it’s clearer and smoother to read.
- The name is creative and original so I’ll give you that. Otherwise, you have established the story’s genre well!

If you want me to read more chapters and give more feedback, I’m happy to help.
And congrats on posting your story on ScribbleHub!

Oh god I'm so sorry, lmao, I posted this before on my wall and not in this thread I believe! Sorry for the truble wvjikwrbjorwwrjiwoijwjovwjlz thank you again

 

[ThirstyForEarl]

I'm new to posting my writing online. Please give me your feedback! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1611567/promise/

 

[Yuin]

(Not) The Chosen One

A young man named Jak Nol is found by Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn on his remote planet, Torkek, in the Outer Rim. Intrigued by his natural affinity with the Force, Qui-Gon takes him back to Coruscant to see if the Jedi Council will allow him to train him as...

www.scribblehub.com

Short read for you, Star Wars fanfiction :D

Hi! I just read your story and here are my thoughts:

- Disclaimer: I know nothing about Star Wars, so the funky names kinda mess up my brain, lol. I even searched it up to find out their appearances!
- The synopsis is great! It took me a few tries to understand the terms, but I got the overall plot.
- Chapter 1 immediately roped the reader into the setting before it got derailed into the backstory of the MC. While I did enjoy the goofy death scene (not like the usual isekai truck) and the MC’s frustration about his situation, it felt disconnected to the start of the chapter.
- Perhaps you can write about the MC waking up to God after he slipped on the banana peel, and instead of telling the reader, you can show the comedy through dialogue exchanges between God and the MC. Then you introduce where the MC ended up (the blackwater planet) and finally the festival. I think this will make the sequence of events smoother and more immersive!
- In Chapter 2, the whole thought process about his parents and his desire to explore the universe dragged a bit. While readers can empathise with the MC’s deliberation, the sentences are repetitive and can be summarised in a better, more emotional way.
- The fighting scene was well written! I feel like you’re better at action scenes, and I enjoyed the MC’s character development.
- The reference to the “Star Wars lore YouTubers” was fine by me and I think it added a comedic element to the fight scene. Especially when the MC is from our universe, it’s something that readers can relate to.
- I also read the comments on your story and I get the feeling that your main goal is to write something entertaining and self-indulgent— more for fun than formal storytelling. That’s totally valid! It feels like a comedic, personal take on the Star Wars universe, with some self-aware humour and pop culture thrown in.
- Hence, I felt the other reader’s feedback on your story was a bit harsh. While it gave a deeper perspective than mine, I still think there are elements worth keeping because they reflect your writing style.
- Overall, a fun read with an unserious and comedic writing style about the MC’s struggles! Keep up the writing and improve along the way!

 

[CharlesEBrown]

No worries! Please take your time to improve and write more despite the low rating

Hi! I just read your story and here are my thoughts:

- Disclaimer: I know nothing about Star Wars, so the funky names kinda mess up my brain, lol. I even searched it up to find out their appearances!
- The synopsis is great! It took me a few tries to understand the terms, but I got the overall plot.

About 60% of the names in the five of the first six Star Wars movies (from '77 to '88) were created by the kids of George Lucas, ages 3 to 7 at the time. The first movie were all names he came up with on his own (got married and had first child while filming IIRC), going back to his teen years (the main hero went from Mace Windu to Luke Starkiller and finally Luke Skywalker, for example - and originally was a cyborg with a mechanical HEAD and arm, not a farm kid).
That should tell you all you need to know about Star Wars names... :D (back in the 90s, I was part of a group that ran a long running RPG campaign in the setting, and often was called upon to come up with "proper sounding" names for the game...)

 

[Juan19977]

Hi. Would you be willing to check out my story? I'm new to writing, and I would appreciate any feedback on it.

Fate is a Bit*h

James Von Berkshire was the sole survivor of one of the most prominent families that ruled his realm. The once-legendary family was among the first to discover the secrets of their world and amass an army of PLAYERS. But the mistake of one idiot destroyed the entire family; even exiled...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[TheHakd]

Hi, first time replying on these types of forum, I usually don't engage on forums but it doesn't hurt to post my story here.

I write for fun and this is actually the first story where I would actually try to finish it for once, so my focuses is on the actual chapters, sorry if the short and bad synopsis, unoriginal title and the nonexistent cover bother you. (Also with the plot I'm thinking of, I have no idea how to write the synopsis without giving spoilers.)

In Another World

An Author's Thoughts.

www.scribblehub.com

 

[A_veil_of_red_ink]

The Pristine

In a world torn apart by war and shrouded in fog, Arkam, a seasoned supersoldier, descends into an abandoned bunker to complete a mission. Haunted by visions of a violent past, his biting sarcasm conceals a tired heart.

www.scribblehub.com

Hey, I'm new here and just started writing. I plan to remove this chapter after receiving some feedback. So, feel free to critique it or praise it; just be honest. Enjoy it if you can.