How do you structure your dialogue?

[Deleted member 84247]

How do you structure your dialogue, and can you give an example of dialogue?

I may or may not make a long-form thread on dialogue, but for now, I want to collect opinions on the topic. Do you like more dialogue, or do you prefer more narration? What do you look for in dialogue? Do you put dialogue tags at the end, middle, and beginning? Do you only use action tags?

I use dialogue often, but I try not to make it exposition-y. Also, since I asked I will provide two examples of dialogues I use from different stories.

OP Witch:

Spoiler: Dialogue Example

“Is something wrong?” Sumire asked.

“No,” Riri said, “I was just thinking.”

“What is it?”

“How strong is Miss Witchhat?”

Eerie grinned, pointing at herself. “Me? I am a B-rank adventurer!”

Vampire Princess:

Spoiler: Dialogue Example

“You look beat, my poor En,” Mother said and hugged me. “Did Father do something crazy?”

“No. It’s just History. Is it true, Mother? Is there really an international magic school?”

“He told you that, too? In short, that is where you will be going in a few years.” She smiled and picked me up. “You have gotten much bigger in almost six years.”

 

[HuaiChi]

How do you structure your dialogue, and can you give an example of dialogue?

I may or may not make a long-form thread on dialogue, but for now, I want to collect opinions on the topic. Do you like more dialogue, or do you prefer more narration? What do you look for in dialogue? Do you put dialogue tags at the end, middle, and beginning? Do you only use action tags?

I use dialogue often, but I try not to make it exposition-y. Also, since I asked I will provide two examples of dialogues I use from different stories.

OP Witch:

Spoiler: Dialogue Example

“Is something wrong?” Sumire asked.

“No,” Riri said, “I was just thinking.”

“What is it?”

“How strong is Miss Witchhat?”

Eerie grinned, pointing at herself. “Me? I am a B-rank adventurer!”

Vampire Princess:

Spoiler: Dialogue Example

“You look beat, my poor En,” Mother said and hugged me. “Did Father do something crazy?”

“No. It’s just History. Is it true, Mother? Is there really an international magic school?”

“He told you that, too? In short, that is where you will be going in a few years.” She smiled and picked me up. “You have gotten much bigger in almost six years.”

At the beginning and at the ending is most common way. But smaller few words dialogue in the middle of expression or other things is good way to show urgency, or shock.

 

[LilRora]

I do virtually all of those depending on the situation. Sometimes, the reaction is more important than the words - then the tag comes first. Other times something happens while a person is speaking, or the words are more important than the character's actions at the moment. Then I put the narration into the middle, or at the end, or don't comment at all. The tags can also be a good way to separate sentences spoken by the same person with a more meaninful pause, or emphasize pauses between multiple peoples' lines.

I generally only use action tags though, unless there's a good reason to use something else. Narration can be very immersion-breaking in the middle of dialogue.

Spoiler: Shows kinda well what I usually do

The man pointed his other hand in the opposite direction, to the far end of the place. “New Frames are made there. For now you can forget about that. You won’t get a personalized Frame smaller than Valor class, unless you get an exception, so you can motivate them lazy bastards at most.”

“Is every bay built the same way?”

“Up to Valor class, yes. Above that there’s differences, but those beasts are a whole ‘nother can of worms.” He frowned as he stared at her. “Wait, you’re the one who got your own Midget?”

Jessica quirked her eyebrow. A gasp came from her side and she glanced at Kara, who was staring with wide eyes. “If I did, I haven’t heard nothing about that. What? Is that rare?”

“Over the whole base? No. For fresh recruits? Maybe we’ve had five as long as I’ve been working here.”

The girl raised another eyebrow.

“That would be twenty eight years.”

She shrugged in response. “I don’t know if it’s me yet.” Her eyes turned to Kara. “How much time do we have?”

She glanced at a watch on her wrist. “Ten minutes at most.”

“I’d like to see how they’re made?”

“Sure. Follow me. There’s not much to see though, that part is mostly off-limits.”

 

[Deleted member 84247]

I do virtually all of those depending on the situation. Sometimes, the reaction is more important than the words - then the tag comes first. Other times something happens while a person is speaking, or the words are more important than the character's actions at the moment. Then I put the narration into the middle, or at the end, or don't comment at all. The tags can also be a good way to separate sentences spoken by the same person with a more meaninful pause, or emphasize pauses between multiple peoples' lines.

I generally only use action tags though, unless there's a good reason to use something else. Narration can be very immersion-breaking if used in the middle of dialogue.

Spoiler: Shows kinda well what I usually do

The man pointed his other hand in the opposite direction, to the far end of the place. “New Frames are made there. For now you can forget about that. You won’t get a personalized Frame smaller than Valor class, unless you get an exception, so you can motivate them lazy bastards at most.”

“Is every bay built the same way?”

“Up to Valor class, yes. Above that there’s differences, but those beasts are a whole ‘nother can of worms.” He frowned as he stared at her. “Wait, you’re the one who got your own Midget?”

Jessica quirked her eyebrow. A gasp came from her side and she glanced at Kara, who was staring with wide eyes. “If I did, I haven’t heard nothing about that. What? Is that rare?”

“Over the whole base? No. For fresh recruits? Maybe we’ve had five as long as I’ve been working here.”

The girl raised another eyebrow.

“That would be twenty eight years.”

She shrugged in response. “I don’t know if it’s me yet.” Her eyes turned to Kara. “How much time do we have?”

She glanced at a watch on her wrist. “Ten minutes at most.”

“I’d like to see how they’re made?”

“Sure. Follow me. There’s not much to see though, that part is mostly off-limits.”

I agree with that. It can be immersion-breaking, and that's why I try to put something simple and small, like a gesture or movement. Though, sometimes if there is a time where there is a long pause I use narration to do the pause. You can say that someone paused, but putting narration puts an actual pause. The only problem with that is you can't be too long. If you are long, readers will have to go back to even know what started the dialogue.

 

[greyblob]

i look for dialogue the most (what I spend most time on when writing as well). if there are walls of talks, i skim those and look for the quotation marks. i don't see long dialogues that often. usually it's none english novels.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

i look for dialogue the most (what I spend most time on when writing as well). if there are walls of talks, i skim those and look for the quotation marks. i don't see long dialogues that often. usually it's none english novels.

I have found myself doing that exact same thing. Skimming and looking for dialogue.

 

[Sylver]

Beginning, end, or both.

Just doesn't feel right putting it in the middle, because the reader is more likely to miss the dialogue when its kept in the center of text describing actions or movement.

You want your dialogue to stand out, an easy way to achieve that is to have it either separate, or act as the start or conclusion.

Unfortunately people skip the larger texts, I say unfortunate because I write those texts to convey emotion or set the scene of something happening. It's a bit painful when people ask you why this or that doesn't make sense when you spent several hours writing a text to set that mood only for them to skip it. Sigh.

 

[Sagacious_Punk]

I think I've shared this video on the forums before, but repetition is the mother of remembrance, as they say.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Just doesn't feel right putting it in the middle, because the reader is more likely to miss the dialogue when its kept in the center of text describing actions or movement.

I think you misunderstood, maybe? I was not talking about putting dialogue in the middle. I was talking about putting dialogue tags in the middle.

 

[Sylver]

I think you misunderstood, maybe? I was not talking about putting dialogue in the middle. I was talking about putting dialogue tags in the middle.

Ah. Then anywhere works fine I guess.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

DEPENDS.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

How do you structure your dialogue, and can you give an example of dialogue?

I may or may not make a long-form thread on dialogue, but for now, I want to collect opinions on the topic. Do you like more dialogue, or do you prefer more narration? What do you look for in dialogue? Do you put dialogue tags at the end, middle, and beginning? Do you only use action tags?

I use dialogue often, but I try not to make it exposition-y. Also, since I asked I will provide two examples of dialogues I use from different stories.

OP Witch:

Spoiler: Dialogue Example

“Is something wrong?” Sumire asked.

“No,” Riri said, “I was just thinking.”

“What is it?”

“How strong is Miss Witchhat?”

Eerie grinned, pointing at herself. “Me? I am a B-rank adventurer!”

Vampire Princess:

Spoiler: Dialogue Example

“You look beat, my poor En,” Mother said and hugged me. “Did Father do something crazy?”

“No. It’s just History. Is it true, Mother? Is there really an international magic school?”

“He told you that, too? In short, that is where you will be going in a few years.” She smiled and picked me up. “You have gotten much bigger in almost six years.”

Depends on the needs of my scene, so mine always vary.

 

[Story_Marc]

The right way.

I actually do breakdown all that in the part I link to in that video.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

The right way.

I actually do breakdown all that in the part I link to in that video.

Based.

 

[John_Owl]

Beginning, end, or both.

Just doesn't feel right putting it in the middle, because the reader is more likely to miss the dialogue when its kept in the center of text describing actions or movement.

You want your dialogue to stand out, an easy way to achieve that is to have it either separate, or act as the start or conclusion.

Unfortunately people skip the larger texts, I say unfortunate because I write those texts to convey emotion or set the scene of something happening. It's a bit painful when people ask you why this or that doesn't make sense when you spent several hours writing a text to set that mood only for them to skip it. Sigh.

I think she was referring to the dialogue tag. "He said" type things.

And example of each:
"I don't know what to write," He said.
She groaned, "Just write whatever's in your mind!"
"Alright!" He recoiled, "Jeez, I thought you'd be kinder!"

In order: End, Beginning, Middle.

 

[unr3321]

Speaker tags won't seem awkward if you know how to format them properly and use grammar. I place speaker tags anywhere that will fit the dialogue. All the same formatting of dialogue may seem like bad narration to some, so I keep a more diverse and flexible formatting.

 

[Corty]

I don't know the rules; I just go with what feels right.

"Was he... awake when I talked with Sakku? Most likely... huh, oh well, it isn't the end of the world." He thought, slightly smiling, speaking as an older brother would talk to his younger sibling when he was caught doing something naughty. "Hey, Sammy... what did you mean by it?"

"N-nothing!"

"Why are you not looking at me?" he asked again, but by now, Sammy was looking everywhere but at him.

"I wasn't able to sleep... I didn't eavesdrop on purpose... it was an accident! I swear! Please don't hate me..." He mumbled at the end of a minute-long silence.

"It's okay!"

"Haaaauh, we were careless, Elian!" Sakku yelled, hopping into his lap, agitated and shaking her round, pink body.

"As I said, it's okay." Elian repeated, not getting angry. "I just want to keep it on the low side of things because the previously summoned Hero turned out to be why I also ended up here. I think you can understand what I am trying to say, yes?" He asked, looking at Sammy, who was now nodding like a pigeon, bobbing his head up and down.

"I won't tell it to anybody! Promise! But... Shouldn't the Princess, I mean, the Commander, know? I think they and the rest of the Knights would be delighted..."

"I think she already does..." Elian answered, whispering and leaning back on his bunk, scratching Sakku behind her ears, quickly making her melt away. "And, of course, I will tell her. But I want her to know she can trust me. I am afraid that if many people learn what I am, they won't trust me... I wouldn't."

 

[greyliliy]

All three! Including a magical forth: No tag at all if it's clear who is speaking without it.

 

[Tsuru]

How do you structure your dialogue, and can you give an example of dialogue?

I may or may not make a long-form thread on dialogue, but for now, I want to collect opinions on the topic. Do you like more dialogue, or do you prefer more narration? What do you look for in dialogue? Do you put dialogue tags at the end, middle, and beginning? Do you only use action tags?

I use dialogue often, but I try not to make it exposition-y. Also, since I asked I will provide two examples of dialogues I use from different stories.

OP Witch:

Spoiler: Dialogue Example

“Is something wrong?” Sumire asked.

“No,” Riri said, “I was just thinking.”

“What is it?”

“How strong is Miss Witchhat?”

Eerie grinned, pointing at herself. “Me? I am a B-rank adventurer!”

Vampire Princess:

Spoiler: Dialogue Example

“You look beat, my poor En,” Mother said and hugged me. “Did Father do something crazy?”

“No. It’s just History. Is it true, Mother? Is there really an international magic school?”

“He told you that, too? In short, that is where you will be going in a few years.” She smiled and picked me up. “You have gotten much bigger in almost six years.”

1) First one seems JPish WN
2) High quality details chinese novel

Is what i feel from both your examples.
I pick 2nd one.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

1) First one seems JPish WN
2) High quality details chinese novel

Is what i feel from both your examples.
I pick 2nd one.

Well the first one is from the novel I spend very little time thinking about.

Well the first one is from the novel I spend very little time thinking about.

I also don’t read Chinese novels, so it’s a coincidence.