RepresentingWrath
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Hooman.
D
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Perhaps I should make more threads like this in the future. People have given a lot of good insight here, and having these discussions are good for reinforcing what we already know.You guys remember those stuff !!
Inner monologue - (need more lessons on how to chop up my problems into chapters it seems ..)
Midnight-Phantom
( Enigmatic-Entity )
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Which human has multitudes of question marks floating above them all the time ?
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By the way, since I mentioned it earlier there are also description tags.
Example: Envy was a vampire, "I am the Queen of the Night."
Not really a great example, but you get the point. You describe the character and then they speak.
Example: Envy was a vampire, "I am the Queen of the Night."
Not really a great example, but you get the point. You describe the character and then they speak.
Midnight-Phantom
( Enigmatic-Entity )
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Immortals have a lot of time in their hands to do those kinds of stuff, and as a vamp, it's understandable you notice those details, while simple mortals due to plagued with limited lifespan often overlook those things, I promptly implore you miss, take the responsibility and do the honours to mankind, for such scholarly task need dedication and a mind that only a being not touched by rivers of time can handle..
ps- I will rob a blood bank and will create crimson ember cookies for your repayment for this task ..
HelloHound
Hound of hell, lover of girls
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I use em if there's a motion or feeling behind the dialog, otherwise I leave em be
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From what I remember of your story, you primarily use action tags with a few "say" thrown in.
HelloHound
Hound of hell, lover of girls
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lotta emotions in that little body
D
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I don't follow the consensus, mainly because if other 'famous' authors can get away with not following the rules, then why should I?
Also, I put tags whenever needed, or the manuscript would be needlessly wordy.
Sebas_Guzman
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Hans, your story of choice is an isekai and your initial covers feature a busty woman.
You're following a general concensus regarding a hot genre and marketing trends in light novels XD
Even your cast pages are done in the style that kadokawa solidified
(That joke aside, I respect your work)
D
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Thanks my good man! ??
Though, latest volume features a man with a tank. ?
ConansWitchBaby
Da Scalie Whisperer
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I tend to like a snowballing effect, from simple "said" tags, going to action if it starts to get long. It is also heavily reliant on the scene and verbal cues that can't really be expressed by simple punctuation. The last part is for a more forced gap in immersion that simple periods can't do. Let's admit it, if not laziness, then impatience and efficiency makes most people ignore the "full breath of pause when a period appears" rule. That small "xx said" stops the story for a bit longer than usual. Let's the readers turn on their brains for a bit rather than being on a rail. They can fill up the small fluctuations that would be normal for the situation. Without having to add anything extra. Facial expressions, rate of breath, posture, etc. In other words, the boring parts to read without forcing yourself to become verbose.
It also clears up some speech patterns. Like the earlier magician example isn't a runoff splurge of information. It also sets more favorably how the monologue will be broken down in the text. A short, yet insignificant break with a larger more detailed exposition later that is less jarring than if no "said" pause was used.
Or how about, a scene where everything is tranquil and you can't just end the scene in emptiness. Some dialogue that would be wholly unneeded if the pacing was kept better?
A simple:
"The sky is nice," he said. "Very blue."
Instead of:
"The sky is nice. Very Blue."
A different feel is given with both. Why yes, it would be better if the second was split with a comma instead of a period. Thing is that it is not. It's on purpose. How much do people glance over that part and might imagine someone that is impatient, not having their heart into what they are saying, and so on?
Who reads about a sky and pictures it better with a forced pause? Where the reader stops to read a blank and empty portion of the text to visualize a sky in the extra split second they gloss over it. Just to read about it being blue? Might think along the lines of, "well, yeah. No shit it's blue," to "he took a breath to take it all in." Without being explicitly told by the author.
It also clears up some speech patterns. Like the earlier magician example isn't a runoff splurge of information. It also sets more favorably how the monologue will be broken down in the text. A short, yet insignificant break with a larger more detailed exposition later that is less jarring than if no "said" pause was used.
Or how about, a scene where everything is tranquil and you can't just end the scene in emptiness. Some dialogue that would be wholly unneeded if the pacing was kept better?
A simple:
"The sky is nice," he said. "Very blue."
Instead of:
"The sky is nice. Very Blue."
A different feel is given with both. Why yes, it would be better if the second was split with a comma instead of a period. Thing is that it is not. It's on purpose. How much do people glance over that part and might imagine someone that is impatient, not having their heart into what they are saying, and so on?
Who reads about a sky and pictures it better with a forced pause? Where the reader stops to read a blank and empty portion of the text to visualize a sky in the extra split second they gloss over it. Just to read about it being blue? Might think along the lines of, "well, yeah. No shit it's blue," to "he took a breath to take it all in." Without being explicitly told by the author.
D
Deleted member 84247
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Oh, thanks for the perspective. I really don't think enough about using dialogue tags as forced pauses or anything, but come to think of it, the magician example I used earlier and the example you provided do a great job of this.
Aaqil
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*pat pat*,
Sebas_Guzman
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Ahh, from Isekai to military fantasy. This man is targeting the male demographic pretty well.Thanks my good man! ??
Though, latest volume features a man with a tank. ?
D
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At least those who are tired of generic isekai, yes, and wanted a more 'human' and logical actions of characters in response to their situations.
D
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I agree that “said” or “asked” are optimal 90% of the time and there’s no need to come up with fancy ways to say it if dialogue tags are even needed. Most of the time, it’s better to use action tags or no tags at all. Once you link an actor’s dialogue to their corresponding actions, dialogue tags aren’t needed.
That’s worrying. In that case, I don’t think you’re using them as effectively. Here’s an example that doesn’t use dialogue tags at all.
So instead of:
“Hey, Maya,” Rachel called out, beckoning her over with a wave. “I had no idea you were enrolled in this class as well.”
The girl’s face lit up with a grin as she made her way over to Rachel’s desk. “Yeah, I thought it would be an interesting way to fulfill my history requirement,” she explained, and to which Rachel nodded in agreement.
She motioned toward the vacant desk beside her own. “Would you like to sit here?” she offered.
“Sure,” the girl replied, settling into the seat and pulling out her notebook. “Do you know anything about the professor teaching this course?”
Rachel shook her head. “No, this is my first time having him as an instructor.”
Do this:
"Hey, Maya," Rachel beckoned her over with a wave. “I had no idea you were enrolled in this class as well.”
The girl’s face lit up with a grin as she approached the desk. “Yeah, I thought it would be an interesting way to fulfill my history requirement.”
Rachel nodded sagely. She then motioned toward the vacant desk beside her own. “Want to sit here?”
“Sure. But–” Settling into her seat as Maya pulled out her notebooks–“Have you heard anything about the professor teaching this course?”
Rachel shook her head. “No, this is my first time having him as an instructor.”
While I'm not going to ask you to stop using dialogue tags (she said) completely, I still recommend using them sparingly. They are often unnecessary if it is already established who is speaking.
If you have to, try using action tags instead (overusing them, especially in long conversions, could distract the reader from the dialogue itself; it's something to keep in mind).
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D
Deleted member 84247
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I didn't even realize about the en-dash thing (despite being En-chan). HehI agree that “said” or “asked” are optimal 90% of the time and there’s no need to come up with fancy ways to say it if dialogue tags are needed at all. Most of the time, it’s better to use action tags or no tags at all. Once you link an actor’s dialogue to their corresponding actions, dialogue tags aren’t needed.
That’s worrying. In that case, I don’t think you’re using them as effectively. Here’s an example that doesn’t use dialogue tags at all.
So instead of:
“Hey, Maya,” Rachel called out, beckoning her over with a wave. “I had no idea you were enrolled in this class as well.”
The girl’s face lit up with a grin as she made her way over to Rachel’s desk. “Yeah, I thought it would be an interesting way to fulfill my history requirement,” she explained, and to which Rachel nodded in agreement.
She motioned toward the vacant desk beside her own. “Would you like to sit here?” she offered.
“Sure,” the girl replied, settling into the seat and pulling out her notebook. “Do you know anything about the professor teaching this course?”
Rachel shook her head. “No, this is my first time having him as an instructor.”
Do this:
"Hey, Maya" Rachel called out, beckoning her over with a wave. “I had no idea you were enrolled in this class as well.”
The girl’s face lit up with a grin as she approached the desk. “Yeah, I thought it would be an interesting way to fulfill my history requirement.”
Rachel nodded sagely. She then motioned toward the vacant desk beside her own. “Want to sit here?”
“Sure. But–” Settling into her seat as Maya pulled out her notebooks–“Have you heard anything about the professor teaching this course?”
Rachel shook her head. “No, this is my first time having him as an instructor.”
While I'm not going to ask you to stop using dialogue tags (she said) completely, I still recommend using them sparingly. They are often unnecessary if it is already established who is speaking.
If you have to, try using action tags instead (overusing them, especially in long conversions, could distract the reader from the dialogue itself; it's something to keep in mind).
APieceOfRock
Yuri Lover, endeed!
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because you've been in your room for so long. Go out and en-dash around your neighborhood.
Don't worry, it's nighttime.
Sebas_Guzman
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I agree that “said” or “asked” are optimal 90% of the time and there’s no need to come up with fancy ways to say it if dialogue tags are even needed. Most of the time, it’s better to use action tags or no tags at all. Once you link an actor’s dialogue to their corresponding actions, dialogue tags aren’t needed.
That’s worrying. In that case, I don’t think you’re using them as effectively. Here’s an example that doesn’t use dialogue tags at all.
So instead of:
“Hey, Maya,” Rachel called out, beckoning her over with a wave. “I had no idea you were enrolled in this class as well.”
The girl’s face lit up with a grin as she made her way over to Rachel’s desk. “Yeah, I thought it would be an interesting way to fulfill my history requirement,” she explained, and to which Rachel nodded in agreement.
She motioned toward the vacant desk beside her own. “Would you like to sit here?” she offered.
“Sure,” the girl replied, settling into the seat and pulling out her notebook. “Do you know anything about the professor teaching this course?”
Rachel shook her head. “No, this is my first time having him as an instructor.”
Do this:
"Hey, Maya," Rachel beckoned her over with a wave. “I had no idea you were enrolled in this class as well.”
The girl’s face lit up with a grin as she approached the desk. “Yeah, I thought it would be an interesting way to fulfill my history requirement.”
Rachel nodded sagely. She then motioned toward the vacant desk beside her own. “Want to sit here?”
“Sure. But–” Settling into her seat as Maya pulled out her notebooks–“Have you heard anything about the professor teaching this course?”
Rachel shook her head. “No, this is my first time having him as an instructor.”
While I'm not going to ask you to stop using dialogue tags (she said) completely, I still recommend using them sparingly. They are often unnecessary if it is already established who is speaking.
If you have to, try using action tags instead (overusing them, especially in long conversions, could distract the reader from the dialogue itself; it's something to keep in mind).
Watch this, En-chan. I'm about to show you the incredibly dangerous battlefield we just stepped into. Its name is "Arcane Punctuation Rules."
First--
The "en dash" should not be used here. You need to use the "em dash." The tumblr example is wrong. Furthermore, they are using an incorrect implementation of the dash.
This should be:
"Sure. But"–Maya pulled out her notebooks–"have you heard anything about the professor teaching this course?"
Note the placement of the dashes. The tumblr example mixed two different implementations.
The dash only goes inside the quotation when someone's dialogue is being iteruppted by independant actions like so:
"This is the way to model photosythesis–"
"What a snooze fest, huh, Maya?"
"–effectively. I recommend you all learn this."
Another example of the same idea.
"This is the way to model photosythesis–"
"Hey, shut up, old man! Maya knows more than you ever could–"
"She knows nothing!"
The first example is what is done when you're incorporating an action within the dialogue. Again, do not mix the implementations. If you need sources, I can give you a list of sites that coorberate what I say... And I come into this battlefield fully ready to get shanked by an even more arcane rule.
The best thing about arcane dashes is that most readers won't notice what's going on.
P.S I'm also a bit sad @Story_Marc hasn't see this thread.
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