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I love fanfics, I love DB, and I love this particular theme. It has been done a lot of times, but it never gets old and can really showcase the author's knowledge about the DB lore and his creativity. However, major parts are infected with AI excrement. Since this is your first chapter, STOP...

When the red lines disappear, you've done the ABSOLUTELY BARE MINIMUM. I consider this to be an absolute minimum requirement, and any author who does not bother performing a basic spell check is not worth reading imo. It takes literally 5 minutes to do that for a chapter, and if the author...

Though I think the definition doesn't quite fit, as everyone is playing the game, not just a small group. They are also not secretive, lol...

The same happens here on SH. Earned myself a couple of 1-stars after I called out a few AI stories.

I think the RR forum can be a little hostile and toxic. It's also full of Shoutout/Review beggars and overall beggars. On the other hand, the SH forum is also very... particular. Constant AI authors begging for feedback, acting like they wrote the story when it turns out they can't even write...

Why did you add huge breaks between paragraphs in the middle for no reason? Also, sometimes you begin paragraphs with a break, but sometimes you don't. I can't get past the formatting to begin commenting on the content.

1. You don't have a signature. 2. Ban evading can get your account banned as far as I know. Just make sure you don't break the rules. Maybe I'm wrong, but reuploading your story for the sole purpose of evading your ban doesn't sound like good advice to me.

Just to be the mean spoilsport again. By now, everyone knows what I'm trying to say, so I'll spare you the drama this time.

Image is nice. Desperately wanted to find something to tear it apart, but it's a very cool image. The more important part is how you actually write this character, though... still, from the looks and style department, he's quite cool. Although he looks edgy and pretentious af, that's the...

It's totally not a genre I'd ever read but it's quite interesting. However you switch between present and past tense... or I'm just being mentally challenged again and I'm mistaken, which is quite likely. I also think your paragraphs are way too long and difficult to read. Like 2 or 3 times as...

Well, you already have a clear vision of the story, and it looks like you thought this through. Not like I agree, but hey, it's YOUR world, and I'd be really interested to see your vision of that world. Why don't you show us your vision of that world? All that's left is to put it in words. Why...

Their shields are so strong, NOTHING on Planet Earth, including HP spells, could break them. You could literally enter the jumper and then smash into every enemy with your shields up, and could defeat anyone.

Roflmao, you just got enough firepower, mobility, and defenses to blow up a fucking fleet with at least twenty to thirty motherships. He can fucking obliterate anything in his way. There is absolutely no balance in your story; your MC is invincible and has the firepower to obliterate anything...

Images are too small. You have to zoom in like crazy to see anything. Also, not wanting to shatter your dream... who the hell wants these generic AI images? You get the most generic scenes ever, and anyone who likes reading doesn't need them. It's fine to use AI to create a cover or a few...

Terrible. You could never turn this into a story without suffering through literal hell. So niche, so specific, so hard to write. Balance is totally dead, so this wouldn't be a story with any kind of suspense because the MC would be without any equals. This looks like a story with your...

There are like thousands of programs capable of detecting spelling mistakes. He can use whatever online tool, site, writing program, or AI helper, I don't care. He just needs to pick one.

Aside from that, it's a cool story. Why not turn it into a short story? A couple of chapters would be enough.

This is a feedback thread, not an Update thread. If you want to post Updates or discuss the story, check out the Reader section, though honestly, this Forum is not really suitable for advertising. I'll give it a read when I have some time, but after reading the first chapter, it's neither...

Uff.... Uff.... I like your goal. I read the first chapter, and I just want to give you my honest opinion, analyzing just this one, tiny end of the first major fight scene. To begin with, the result: Scale of 1-10. I'd rate it a 3 out of 10. I like a few ideas, but I hate how they're executed...

I think the LN style is not the main problem. You need to work on grammar... badly. Your sentence structure is not only awkward, but outright wrong... at least in some cases. A tool like Grammarly would work wonders. I also think your language comprehension isn't quite there, as some of your...