Eldoria

Eldoria

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  • Eldoria
    In the hands of a (competent, of course) storyteller, a trivial scene can be highly entertaining. They know how to manipulate the reader's psychology through storytelling (narration) to achieve a narrative goal. Consider how the steak-eating scene can be hilarious in Mr. Bean's hands, even without a single word. :blob_melt:
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    In my opinion, if we want to test how well we entertain readers, try narrating a simple scene to achieve the narrative goal (touching the reader's emotions). For example, if we can make readers laugh just by eating steak, then we've succeeded in being a good storyteller.
    Eldoria
    A narcissistic female protagonist has a (dense) older brother who is liked by many girls. But the younger sister wants him to marry her best friend, so she secretly arranges a matchmaking. My question is, is this fiction a harem genre or just a romance?

    Note: This fiction focuses on the life of a younger sister with her older brother.
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    AstreiaNyx
    AstreiaNyx
    Depends. Are the romantic candidates developed equally or is there only one serious relationship?
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    It's actually more like a rom-com, where the romance becomes a subplot rather than the main plot. After all, the older brother is a siscon, dedicated to the well-being of his younger sister. Furthermore, this fiction centers on the conflict between the older brother and younger sister (FMC) after their parents died.
    Eldoria
    People say dense protagonists (e.g., Bakarina) are just fantasy (not real) used as plot devices for romcom. I'd say it's realistic because the author of this post has experienced it. :blob_melt:
    Eldoria
    “Sofie…” a soft voice called out to me.

    I opened my eyes. A handsome, dark-haired man was staring at me. His eyes were teary. My index finger trembled as I wiped the corners of his eyes.

    “Brother…” my voice was soft.

    I sat on the bed, hugging him. Even though he was wearing a white t-shirt, he smelled of roses. Did you dress up to take care of me?
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    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    A whistling sound echoed. A woman in a black t-shirt leaned against the bedroom door, crossing her arms.

    “So sweet,” she took her cigarette from her lips. “Bram… your little angel sister. Fufu.”
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    My eyes widened, I gasped. I glanced at the woman for a moment, then looked at my Brother.

    “I told you. This is candy, not cigarettes,” the weeb woman interrupted.

    “I called Miss Betty to help take care of you,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll leave the women’s affairs to her.”
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    My forehead creased. “GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

    I hit him with a stuffed rabbit. Idiot Brother… don’t bring a strange woman into our family. I can take care of myself.

    My Brother, Stop Embarrassing Me! Chapter 29: Even A Little Angel Gets Feverish!
    Eldoria
    I tend to avoid poetic prose (if it's possible), not because I dislike its aesthetic, but I don't want the reader's focus to be diverted to understanding the beauty of the prose, instead of being immersed in the scene. :blob_pout:
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    Tsuru
    Tsuru
    Here is an example.

    Trying to make it "cooler" translation
    but the sole thing it does for me : Goddamnit its annoying to read. (enjoyment -1)

    ps : Picked random chapter of asura scans, this one was easy to read.
    Tsuru
    Tsuru
    Even this random strike looks "COOLER" than previous pic.
    858578


    I mean, sure, glowing eye/lightning-eye is now fucking cringe (because too much spam of it)
    but the "changed font" make it worse.

    Bc what i see isnt : Dude talking cooly
    But : I am a random 2d character in a manwha trying to look cool and my translator try to make it cooler
    Tsuru
    Tsuru
    trying to look cool and my translator try to make it cooler
    Click to expand...
    Double combo

    of pulling me out of "immersion". (again, is the biggest goal of any creator. ALL CREATORS OF ANY KIND AND GENRE)
    Eldoria
    Saiki no Kusuo is a great comedy anime for learning how to write comedic fiction. Its only flaw is that it lacks a central conflict that drives the plot. The episodes themselves are more like random sketches. There's no thematic thread that ties the episodes together into a coherent story. Gintama has a more solid plot.
    Eldoria
    Which heroine hairstyle do you prefer: (1) long flowing, (2) cropped, (3) braided, (4) ponytail, (5) twintail, (6) bun, (7) curly? :blob_melt:

    * Please don't ask about bald! :blob_pout:
    Eldoria
    Environmental descriptions can have narrative layers in the form of: (1) setting, when and where the event occurs; (2) worldbuilding, how the world works; (3) atmosphere, what the characters feel in the environment; (4) lore, what background is contained in the environment; (5) symbolism, what philosophical meaning is implied in the scene.
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    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    Instead of narrating the environment in detail (info dump), you can narrate the environment in a multi-functional way. It will make the narrative more efficient and effective.
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    Kurayami
    Kurayami
    :blobtaco:
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    Tsuru
    To be a good author, sometimes being knowledgeable in psychology is very helpful.




    PS : Even if you dont know jackshit about it. AT LEAST, have the bare minimum IQ to know how to dodge "pitfalls".
    Example : Novel MC is brother of Jackie-Chan. Heroine got cancer.
    Last chapter before hiatus, the heroine had few days to live (and not hint of solution) and author asking : why is everyone suddenly downvoting
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    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    An author shouldn't focus solely on the narrative, but rather on the comprehensive picture of how the narrative affects the reader's psychology. Separating the reader from the narrative is like writing for empty space. Fiction, in essence, is a medium of communication between the author and the reader through storytelling.
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    Tsuru
    Tsuru
    kunimi tama (heaven burns red) drawn by tanigawa_kent
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    I didn't see... I didn't read the last message... :blob_pout:
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    Eldoria
    Psychology says people who are kind but have no close friends often spent decades as the one everyone called in a crisis, and the loneliness they carry now isn’t about having no one to talk to, it’s about having no one who calls back.
    Eldoria
    “Let me go!” I struggled.

    My teeth clenched. Ugly old man… don’t just grab a girl’s arm. Only my family is allowed to touch my arm.

    “UGLY OLD MAN!” Tendo shouted coldly and heavily.

    The old man turned around. Tendo squeezed the man’s shoulder, glaring sharply.

    The ugly man let go of my arm. “Who… are you?” his voice trembled.

    “Basho Tenin!” Tendo throwed him backward. The sound of his body collapsing echoed.
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    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    In the basement ceiling, the neon lights came back on one by one as Tendo slowly walked. The old man tried to stand but fell backwards.

    “Old man,” he stomped on his loafers. “...what are you trying to say?”

    The old man turned and ran away. “I’m sorry…”

    Tendo stood silently as the old man walked away from my sight. Water dripped from the basement ceiling, wetting his head. His orange hair faded to black.
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    “...”

    It was silent. People stood frozen beside their motorcycles and cars.

    A round of applause echoed, followed by another round of applause. The crowd cheered, chanting the name of the ninja god.

    My jaw dropped. My Weeb Brother… your disciple is going to take the internet by storm.
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    My Brother, Stop Embarrassing Me! Chapter 27: Getting Caught in the Rain at the Mall
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    Eldoria
    Which wholesome family story are you more likely to read: (1) an older brother and younger sister relationship vs. (2) an older sister and younger sister relationship vs. (3) an older brother and younger brother relationship vs. (4) an older sister and younger brother relationship? :blob_aww:
    Eldoria
    Which are you more likely to read between (1) pure comedic fiction (a story that aims to make the reader laugh) vs. (2) comedic fiction that hides a psychological thriller within the narrative layers (a dark story disguised in laughter)? :blob_melt:
    Eldoria
    In fictional worlds, especially anime, shouting out ultimate moves (Chidori, Shinra Tensei, Bankai, etc) feels cool.

    In the real world, real people don't shout out moves during fights. If they did, it would be cringeworthy.

    This is why chuuni scenes feel both absurd and funny, as they feel like characters on the wrong server. It can actually be cringe comedy. :blob_melt:
    Eldoria
    If you inherited a good-looking physique, what would you do? :blob_melt:

    a) Admire your beauty and take care of yourself.

    b) Let your beauty be what it is and care for it as needed.

    c) Don't care about your beauty until people laugh at you.

    d) Destroy your beauty with bad habbits.
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