Eldoria

Eldoria

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  • Eldoria
    My vision blurred, a rough man's voice haunted my mind. "GET IN!"

    "No..." My eyes welled up, my hands clutching my head.

    "Sofie," a soft voice echoed in my ears.

    My brother held my shoulders. "Calm down! I'm here," his finger brushed the corners of my eyes.

    "Brother... I'm not crying."

    My brother nodded. "Now you understand... why I'm practicing, right?"

    "Prove it!"

    "Leave it to me," he patted his chest.
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    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    “99 pushes, 100 pushes,” my brother raised his arms above the grass, his shoulders shaking.

    A light thud sounded as his body fell face down. My brother looked up at me, his eyes like fish eyes. His chest heaved.

    “Brother… are you done?” I grabbed the edge of the window. “Excuse me—”

    “Wait!” My brother immediately jumped up.

    He bent down and tapped his heels. “I haven’t shown you my moves yet.”
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    I sighed. “Don’t disappoint me!”

    “Pay attention!” His eyes narrowed.

    My brother stood up straight. His feet pressed against the grass, forming a horse stance.

    “Gomu gomu no gatling gun,” he punched the air repeatedly.

    I stood there, my mouth wide open.

    “I didn’t see—” I closed my hand on the window.

    The sound of knocking echoed. “Sofie… open up! I’m not finished yet.”

    “Chuuni brother!"
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    My Brother, Stop Embarrassing Me! Chapter 7: Chuuni Brother!
    Eldoria
    Narrative techniques that create an organic comedy without cringe:

    (1) straight man vs funny man, pit 2 contrasting characters against each other to create a chaotic situation.

    (2) comic relief, use a misplaced clown character to reduce tension.

    (3) sitcom, build a serious setup, pay off absurdly.

    (4) unreliable narrator, create dramatic irony through the lens of a biased narrator.
    Eldoria
    A group of teenagers in black, cloud-patterned robes carried black sacks on the side of the road.

    I stopped in front of the black and white line. They walked across the zebra crossing.

    A teenager in an orange mask stopped in front of me. He held up a black metal bar. A stack of blood-stained papers was stuck to the end of the bar.

    I swallowed hard as he turned to me. Don't come any closer!
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    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    30 seconds… 31 seconds… chaos! My mind was also erratic. 28 seconds… 27 seconds…

    Oh my God… please speed up the red light. Don’t let the black-robed group ruin my weeb liberation project! I have to save my brother before he falls too far.
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    “Miss… Sofie, right?” a strange male voice called out to me.

    I instinctively turned to the source of the voice. A man was riding a white automatic motorcycle to my right.

    My brow furrowed. “Who?”

    “Donavan” he slapped his hand on his chest. “…still remember?”

    I looked away, “No!”

    3 seconds… 2 seconds… 1 second… I sped up my motorcycle.
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    My breath hitched… what could be worse than being greeted by a strange man who pretended to know me after meeting a group of weeb teenager at a red light?

    My Brother, Stop Embarrassing Me! Chapter 20: Journey to the Mall!
    Eldoria
    Mickael stared at me, his shoulders shaking. “Sofie… actually I—”

    “Let me guess,” I interrupted him.

    “You… already know?” Mickael’s cheeks flushed.

    “Of course I know,” my lips pursed. “You want to apologize to me for teasing me for three years, right? Now you want to apologize because you’re not sure you’ll ever see me after graduation.”

    Mickael stood there, his mouth agape.
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    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    “Am I right?” I tightened my grip on my bag. “Honestly… you’re really annoying. But I’m patient. I don’t repay evil with evil. I forgive you.”

    “Now you can go!” My lips curled into a friendly smile. “Don’t tease girls! You’ll have a hard time finding a partner, you know.”

    Air gushed from Mickael’s mouth. He crouched down and coughed.
    Eldoria
    Eldoria
    “Are you okay?” I stepped closer.

    Mickael turned his head away, his feet stomping the ground. “Stupid Sofie…”

    I stared at his back. “Has he taken his medicine?”

    My Brother, Stop Embarrassing Me! Chapter 17: Don't Take Me!
    Anonjohn20
    Anonjohn20
    Sofie gets as close as she possibly could and whispered into Mikael's ear:

    Eldoria
    I walked across the tiled floor, down the office corridor. A young man in a black suit slowed his pace as he passed me.

    Our eyes met briefly. He nodded and smiled. I returned the gesture with a brief nod

    The sound of a body collapsing echoed through the corridor.

    “HEY, WALK WITH YOUR EYES!” Mr. Rex snapped.

    “Sorry, sir." He quickly stood up, bowing.

    My lips pursed. Don’t blame me for being too beautiful, okay?
    Eldoria
    Ideally, a fiction contains 3 layers of narrative: (1) an entertainment layer, making a story feel light and can be enjoyed by readers, (e.g. wish fulfillment); (2) an emotional layer, which provides an emotional touch (heart warming, etc) that makes the scene have a related meaning for the reader; (3) a twist layer, which provides a revealing value that explains the depth of the theme of the story.
    Eldoria
    Have you ever felt like becoming a protagonist while and after narrating a chapter?

    For example, you're narrating a narcissistic female protagonist who feels beautiful. Then, you feel proud of your beauty when FMC compliments her beauty... especially if you're writing in the first POV.

    It's as if a fictional character has possessed you. :blob_pout:
    Eldoria
    The first POV dilemma: the more detailed the environmental description, the more rigid the narrator feels.

    The more in-depth the narrator's characterization, the more vague the environmental details become.

    The solution is to describe environmental details based on the narrator's reactions in the scene. Minimize the narrator's role as a passive observer, making narrator as an active commentator.
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    JayMark
    JayMark
    This seems more applicable to first person. Third person is more about striking a balance between description, action, and dialogue. I often restrict myself from my character's thoughts, letting their actions do the heavy lifting, and this method can become a nightmare when I'm outside of a character's head.:unsure:
    Eldoria
    I'm trying to push my writing limits. But it seems 3K words, or the equivalent of 2 standard chapters, is my daily writing capacity now. :blob_pout:
    Eldoria
    Giving unique habits to side characters can give a story a more colorful and alive. :blob_melt:
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    JayMark
    JayMark
    💯
    ShrimpShady
    ShrimpShady
    My 15 year old mind was blown when I watched Evangelion and saw Shinji playing the cello for like 1 scene

    Turns out you could just do that. Make your characters do something that has nothing directly to do with the plot
    ShrimpShady
    ShrimpShady
    Although of course Shinji is not a side character
    Eldoria
    Which is more difficult to write (subjectively) between realistic fiction (which takes worldbuilding in the real world) vs fantasy fiction (which takes worldbuilding in another world) assuming the genre is the same and without supranatural, magic and monster elements? :blob_melt:
    Eldoria
    In first-person perspective, you're forced to narrate through the character's head, body, and senses. Therefore, first POV is ideal for developing character depth. On the other hand, first POV is inherently weak in worldbuilding because you can only narrate as far as the character perception. Therefore, this perspective is less suitable for fast-paced action and epic battles.
    Eldoria
    Which unreliable narrator (first POV) is funnier? (1) naive MC, (2) innocent MC, (3) narcissistic MC, (4) lying MC, (5) crazy MC, (6) chuuni MC.
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