You Shall Not Pass. --Gandalf

[IAmNotVoid]

Just wanted some advice and feedback. Really appreciate the kind souls who help???

Hunter Mania 「Hell And Heaven」

Out of nowhere, two towers emerged in the world. And inside the tower, a game had started. Those who took part in the Game of Angels were called Players, and those who rebelled were Hunters. In a wicked world, being kind is not courageous or heroic. It's pure ludicrous. If...

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The Angel of Death: Evolution of The Skeleton Who Walked Alone In A Dungeon{Revamped Version}

In this Age of Chivalry, A Necromancer had denounced the Entire World. To eradicate this menace, for the first time, kingdoms had united to make up a hero alliance. The necromancer summoned an army of skeletons during his battle. However, at the end of the battle, none survived except a...

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[Zirrboy]

Kind of really late, and only Angel of death for now, but here goes.

Your grammar and punctuation aren't bad to the point of being actively disengaging, but they could use some work. Find someone to proofread your chapters and it should be fine.

The LitRPG elements are well done, but you'll get my default lecture either way.

• Make sure the thing you're addressing is in focus. New skills could be italicized for example.
• Don't have the MC reiterate the obvious.

Story feedback is a bit more vague, since I can't be certain what direction you plan to go.
As long as you stay in the dungeon, the power creep is manageable, since every stage is self contained, but the outside would usually have to conform to some standard of strength.
Since you don't seem to focus on personal relationships looking at the tags, I highly suggest you to keep that balance in mind.
The MC can be overpowered by normal standards, but you need difficult opponents for engaging fights and there are only so many hidden powers until it turns a trope.

 

[IAmNotVoid]

Kind of really late, and only Angel of death for now, but here goes.

Your grammar and punctuation aren't bad to the point of being actively disengaging, but they could use some work. Find someone to proofread your chapters and it should be fine.

The LitRPG elements are well done, but you'll get my default lecture either way.

• Make sure the thing you're addressing is in focus. New skills could be italicized for example.
• Don't have the MC reiterate the obvious.

Story feedback is a bit more vague, since I can't be certain what direction you plan to go.
As long as you stay in the dungeon, the power creep is manageable, since every stage is self contained, but the outside would usually have to conform to some standard of strength.
Since you don't seem to focus on personal relationships looking at the tags, I highly suggest you to keep that balance in mind.
The MC can be overpowered by normal standards, but you need difficult opponents for engaging fights and there are only so many hidden powers until it turns a trope.

Wow, thanks for the feedback, and appreciate it. But Really curious, How did you find a thread posted like 3 months ago? Even I had forgotten, I posted a thread like this

 

[Zirrboy]

I went through older threads and looked for some with no replies/little actual feedback