Writing Xianxia Battle Scene

[MasFaqih]

Emm, guys, can you give me a reference of xianxia battle scene, I want to compare it with mine.

 

[AYM]

Meng Hao walked into the McDonald's. The cultivator taking his order gave a derisive snort, but Meng Hao did not really care, because he had repressed his aura down to the Single Patty Realm, and a fool would not be able to tell his true level of burger eating.

"Give me... a Happy Meal!"

The cultivator's face flickered before he finally regained his composure and laughed. "You couldn't afford a Happy Meal. Get lost! Don't you see that there are Double Quarter Pounder Realm eaters waiting behind you?"

Meng Hao slapped his bag of holding and threw 80 billion spirit McDonald's coupons onto the counter, causing an earthquake which demolished half of the restaurant. Everyone dropped their jaws. None could see how this was possible!

"I'll take that Happy Meal with a side order of fries, " Meng Hao said. He was as calm as the ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean. "And let me see your manager!"

The cashier cultivator coughed up a mouthful of ketchup. He simply could not handle Meng Hao's killing intent, because he was only at the Quarter Pounder with Cheese realm himself. Even though Meng Hao had suppressed his aura, because he had cultivated the Heavenly Burgin' Qi, this was enough to kill people a few levels higher if he truly wanted.

It was then that another man which a much more fierce aura stepped forward. "You dare make trouble here?"

"P... Patriarch Hamburglar!"

Patriarch Hamburglar was 99 cents of the way into the Big Mac Realm, plus tax! Meng Hao was pushed back two feet, knocking over a soda machine. Powerade Mountain Berry Blast geysered outward, killing several onlookers.

Of course, Mayor McCheese saw all this happen through the window.

Meng Hao coughed up a mouthful of blood, snorted, constricted his pupils, and then his expression went calm. He unleashed the aura of 64 patties, condensed down to a 2 patty stack that could fit into his mouth!

Mayor McCheese coughed up a mouthful of cheese. His pupils constricted.

"Is this... Seeking the McRib stage??"

Meng Hao had the gentle air of a scholar, but it wouldn't stop him from killing several people in a McDonald's.

"Burger Devouring Scripture! I'm Lovin' It!"

With the first keyword of the Burger Devouring Scripture, everyone below the early Quarter Pounder With Cheese stage exploded into purple mist. The light of the immense heavenly burger shone down with the contours of a golden arch as 9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of. But that was only a fraction of Meng Hao's power. He waved his arm, bringing forth thirty more cultivation techniques that hadn't appeared in over 400 chapters!

"Heavenly Tribulation Fries! Eastern Everburning Egg McMuffin! Fruit Smoothie Guillotine! Soul McCafe Mocha Incarnation!"

Meng Hao's expression was the same as ever as he slapped his bag of holding, and brought out his karmic ketchup packet, Fry Cook Lord medallion, seventeen different wooden time spatulas, a five-coloured resurrection coupon, the silk burger wrapper, various souls of lightning McNuggets that he may or may not still have, and his mask of the legacy of Ronald McDonald. Oh, and the image of a flying Chicken Snack Wrap dragon appeared. Remember that? It was basically his Main Thing at the start of the novel, but quietly faded into irrelevance. Until now!

All of this takes some time to describe, but actually happened in the space of only a few breaths.

"What! Impossible!"

Meng Hao wanted to summon the parrot as well, but it was too overcome with eroticism by the purple fur depicted on a nearby poster of Grimace, and was busy drilling out a glory hole straight through the poster, and the wall it was pinned to, with its strong parrot erection.

But it was more than enough. The Hamburglar's soul flew out and was absorbed into his mask! He screamed as his body was destroyed completely.

Meng Hao brushed off his robe and swept up his spirit coupons and everyone's bags of holding which probably didn't have any cool sh*t inside unless I write him into a corner later, and anyways, don't worry about it for now. He surveyed the rubble that was all that remained of the McDonald's.

"Guess I'll be taking that Happy Meal... to go!"

 

[Sola-sama]

Meng Hao walked into the McDonald's. The cultivator taking his order gave a derisive snort, but Meng Hao did not really care, because he had repressed his aura down to the Single Patty Realm, and a fool would not be able to tell his true level of burger eating.

"Give me... a Happy Meal!"

The cultivator's face flickered before he finally regained his composure and laughed. "You couldn't afford a Happy Meal. Get lost! Don't you see that there are Double Quarter Pounder Realm eaters waiting behind you?"

Meng Hao slapped his bag of holding and threw 80 billion spirit McDonald's coupons onto the counter, causing an earthquake which demolished half of the restaurant. Everyone dropped their jaws. None could see how this was possible!

"I'll take that Happy Meal with a side order of fries, " Meng Hao said. He was as calm as the ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean. "And let me see your manager!"

The cashier cultivator coughed up a mouthful of ketchup. He simply could not handle Meng Hao's killing intent, because he was only at the Quarter Pounder with Cheese realm himself. Even though Meng Hao had suppressed his aura, because he had cultivated the Heavenly Burgin' Qi, this was enough to kill people a few levels higher if he truly wanted.

It was then that another man which a much more fierce aura stepped forward. "You dare make trouble here?"

"P... Patriarch Hamburglar!"

Patriarch Hamburglar was 99 cents of the way into the Big Mac Realm, plus tax! Meng Hao was pushed back two feet, knocking over a soda machine. Powerade Mountain Berry Blast geysered outward, killing several onlookers.

Of course, Mayor McCheese saw all this happen through the window.

Meng Hao coughed up a mouthful of blood, snorted, constricted his pupils, and then his expression went calm. He unleashed the aura of 64 patties, condensed down to a 2 patty stack that could fit into his mouth!

Mayor McCheese coughed up a mouthful of cheese. His pupils constricted.

"Is this... Seeking the McRib stage??"

Meng Hao had the gentle air of a scholar, but it wouldn't stop him from killing several people in a McDonald's.

"Burger Devouring Scripture! I'm Lovin' It!"

With the first keyword of the Burger Devouring Scripture, everyone below the early Quarter Pounder With Cheese stage exploded into purple mist. The light of the immense heavenly burger shone down with the contours of a golden arch as 9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of. But that was only a fraction of Meng Hao's power. He waved his arm, bringing forth thirty more cultivation techniques that hadn't appeared in over 400 chapters!

"Heavenly Tribulation Fries! Eastern Everburning Egg McMuffin! Fruit Smoothie Guillotine! Soul McCafe Mocha Incarnation!"

Meng Hao's expression was the same as ever as he slapped his bag of holding, and brought out his karmic ketchup packet, Fry Cook Lord medallion, seventeen different wooden time spatulas, a five-coloured resurrection coupon, the silk burger wrapper, various souls of lightning McNuggets that he may or may not still have, and his mask of the legacy of Ronald McDonald. Oh, and the image of a flying Chicken Snack Wrap dragon appeared. Remember that? It was basically his Main Thing at the start of the novel, but quietly faded into irrelevance. Until now!

All of this takes some time to describe, but actually happened in the space of only a few breaths.

"What! Impossible!"

Meng Hao wanted to summon the parrot as well, but it was too overcome with eroticism by the purple fur depicted on a nearby poster of Grimace, and was busy drilling out a glory hole straight through the poster, and the wall it was pinned to, with its strong parrot erection.

But it was more than enough. The Hamburglar's soul flew out and was absorbed into his mask! He screamed as his body was destroyed completely.

Meng Hao brushed off his robe and swept up his spirit coupons and everyone's bags of holding which probably didn't have any cool sh*t inside unless I write him into a corner later, and anyways, don't worry about it for now. He surveyed the rubble that was all that remained of the McDonald's.

"Guess I'll be taking that Happy Meal... to go!"

Divine Feces, this is Meng Hao's battle which was written in the Primordial Ancient Divine Scripture! Joy washed upon me when Meng Hao Meng Hao'ed all over the place. Truly a cinematic and literature masterpiece!

 

[AYM]

Divine Feces, this is Meng Hao's battle which was written in the Primordial Ancient Divine Scripture! Joy washed upon me when Meng Hao Meng Hao'ed all over the place. Truly a cinematic and literature masterpiece!

Aymdeed, ever since I've studied this Primordial-Era profound scripture I could almost see Mt. Tai!

My favorite quote from this scripture is when Meng Hao says, "I Shall Seal the Heavens," and he seals the heavens. What a masterpiece.

 

[MasFaqih]

Meng Hao walked into the McDonald's. The cultivator taking his order gave a derisive snort, but Meng Hao did not really care, because he had repressed his aura down to the Single Patty Realm, and a fool would not be able to tell his true level of burger eating.

"Give me... a Happy Meal!"

The cultivator's face flickered before he finally regained his composure and laughed. "You couldn't afford a Happy Meal. Get lost! Don't you see that there are Double Quarter Pounder Realm eaters waiting behind you?"

Meng Hao slapped his bag of holding and threw 80 billion spirit McDonald's coupons onto the counter, causing an earthquake which demolished half of the restaurant. Everyone dropped their jaws. None could see how this was possible!

"I'll take that Happy Meal with a side order of fries, " Meng Hao said. He was as calm as the ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean. "And let me see your manager!"

The cashier cultivator coughed up a mouthful of ketchup. He simply could not handle Meng Hao's killing intent, because he was only at the Quarter Pounder with Cheese realm himself. Even though Meng Hao had suppressed his aura, because he had cultivated the Heavenly Burgin' Qi, this was enough to kill people a few levels higher if he truly wanted.

It was then that another man which a much more fierce aura stepped forward. "You dare make trouble here?"

"P... Patriarch Hamburglar!"

Patriarch Hamburglar was 99 cents of the way into the Big Mac Realm, plus tax! Meng Hao was pushed back two feet, knocking over a soda machine. Powerade Mountain Berry Blast geysered outward, killing several onlookers.

Of course, Mayor McCheese saw all this happen through the window.

Meng Hao coughed up a mouthful of blood, snorted, constricted his pupils, and then his expression went calm. He unleashed the aura of 64 patties, condensed down to a 2 patty stack that could fit into his mouth!

Mayor McCheese coughed up a mouthful of cheese. His pupils constricted.

"Is this... Seeking the McRib stage??"

Meng Hao had the gentle air of a scholar, but it wouldn't stop him from killing several people in a McDonald's.

"Burger Devouring Scripture! I'm Lovin' It!"

With the first keyword of the Burger Devouring Scripture, everyone below the early Quarter Pounder With Cheese stage exploded into purple mist. The light of the immense heavenly burger shone down with the contours of a golden arch as 9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of. But that was only a fraction of Meng Hao's power. He waved his arm, bringing forth thirty more cultivation techniques that hadn't appeared in over 400 chapters!

"Heavenly Tribulation Fries! Eastern Everburning Egg McMuffin! Fruit Smoothie Guillotine! Soul McCafe Mocha Incarnation!"

Meng Hao's expression was the same as ever as he slapped his bag of holding, and brought out his karmic ketchup packet, Fry Cook Lord medallion, seventeen different wooden time spatulas, a five-coloured resurrection coupon, the silk burger wrapper, various souls of lightning McNuggets that he may or may not still have, and his mask of the legacy of Ronald McDonald. Oh, and the image of a flying Chicken Snack Wrap dragon appeared. Remember that? It was basically his Main Thing at the start of the novel, but quietly faded into irrelevance. Until now!

All of this takes some time to describe, but actually happened in the space of only a few breaths.

"What! Impossible!"

Meng Hao wanted to summon the parrot as well, but it was too overcome with eroticism by the purple fur depicted on a nearby poster of Grimace, and was busy drilling out a glory hole straight through the poster, and the wall it was pinned to, with its strong parrot erection.

But it was more than enough. The Hamburglar's soul flew out and was absorbed into his mask! He screamed as his body was destroyed completely.

Meng Hao brushed off his robe and swept up his spirit coupons and everyone's bags of holding which probably didn't have any cool sh*t inside unless I write him into a corner later, and anyways, don't worry about it for now. He surveyed the rubble that was all that remained of the McDonald's.

"Guess I'll be taking that Happy Meal... to go!"

I am really asking myself, what the fuck am I reading.

Meng Hao walked into the McDonald's. The cultivator taking his order gave a derisive snort, but Meng Hao did not really care, because he had repressed his aura down to the Single Patty Realm, and a fool would not be able to tell his true level of burger eating.

"Give me... a Happy Meal!"

The cultivator's face flickered before he finally regained his composure and laughed. "You couldn't afford a Happy Meal. Get lost! Don't you see that there are Double Quarter Pounder Realm eaters waiting behind you?"

Meng Hao slapped his bag of holding and threw 80 billion spirit McDonald's coupons onto the counter, causing an earthquake which demolished half of the restaurant. Everyone dropped their jaws. None could see how this was possible!

"I'll take that Happy Meal with a side order of fries, " Meng Hao said. He was as calm as the ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean. "And let me see your manager!"

The cashier cultivator coughed up a mouthful of ketchup. He simply could not handle Meng Hao's killing intent, because he was only at the Quarter Pounder with Cheese realm himself. Even though Meng Hao had suppressed his aura, because he had cultivated the Heavenly Burgin' Qi, this was enough to kill people a few levels higher if he truly wanted.

It was then that another man which a much more fierce aura stepped forward. "You dare make trouble here?"

"P... Patriarch Hamburglar!"

Patriarch Hamburglar was 99 cents of the way into the Big Mac Realm, plus tax! Meng Hao was pushed back two feet, knocking over a soda machine. Powerade Mountain Berry Blast geysered outward, killing several onlookers.

Of course, Mayor McCheese saw all this happen through the window.

Meng Hao coughed up a mouthful of blood, snorted, constricted his pupils, and then his expression went calm. He unleashed the aura of 64 patties, condensed down to a 2 patty stack that could fit into his mouth!

Mayor McCheese coughed up a mouthful of cheese. His pupils constricted.

"Is this... Seeking the McRib stage??"

Meng Hao had the gentle air of a scholar, but it wouldn't stop him from killing several people in a McDonald's.

"Burger Devouring Scripture! I'm Lovin' It!"

With the first keyword of the Burger Devouring Scripture, everyone below the early Quarter Pounder With Cheese stage exploded into purple mist. The light of the immense heavenly burger shone down with the contours of a golden arch as 9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of. But that was only a fraction of Meng Hao's power. He waved his arm, bringing forth thirty more cultivation techniques that hadn't appeared in over 400 chapters!

"Heavenly Tribulation Fries! Eastern Everburning Egg McMuffin! Fruit Smoothie Guillotine! Soul McCafe Mocha Incarnation!"

Meng Hao's expression was the same as ever as he slapped his bag of holding, and brought out his karmic ketchup packet, Fry Cook Lord medallion, seventeen different wooden time spatulas, a five-coloured resurrection coupon, the silk burger wrapper, various souls of lightning McNuggets that he may or may not still have, and his mask of the legacy of Ronald McDonald. Oh, and the image of a flying Chicken Snack Wrap dragon appeared. Remember that? It was basically his Main Thing at the start of the novel, but quietly faded into irrelevance. Until now!

All of this takes some time to describe, but actually happened in the space of only a few breaths.

"What! Impossible!"

Meng Hao wanted to summon the parrot as well, but it was too overcome with eroticism by the purple fur depicted on a nearby poster of Grimace, and was busy drilling out a glory hole straight through the poster, and the wall it was pinned to, with its strong parrot erection.

But it was more than enough. The Hamburglar's soul flew out and was absorbed into his mask! He screamed as his body was destroyed completely.

Meng Hao brushed off his robe and swept up his spirit coupons and everyone's bags of holding which probably didn't have any cool sh*t inside unless I write him into a corner later, and anyways, don't worry about it for now. He surveyed the rubble that was all that remained of the McDonald's.

"Guess I'll be taking that Happy Meal... to go!"

I think this is a higher level battle, can you give me like, lower level one.

 

[Corty]

Meng Hao walked into the McDonald's. The cultivator taking his order gave a derisive snort, but Meng Hao did not really care, because he had repressed his aura down to the Single Patty Realm, and a fool would not be able to tell his true level of burger eating.

"Give me... a Happy Meal!"

The cultivator's face flickered before he finally regained his composure and laughed. "You couldn't afford a Happy Meal. Get lost! Don't you see that there are Double Quarter Pounder Realm eaters waiting behind you?"

Meng Hao slapped his bag of holding and threw 80 billion spirit McDonald's coupons onto the counter, causing an earthquake which demolished half of the restaurant. Everyone dropped their jaws. None could see how this was possible!

"I'll take that Happy Meal with a side order of fries, " Meng Hao said. He was as calm as the ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean. "And let me see your manager!"

The cashier cultivator coughed up a mouthful of ketchup. He simply could not handle Meng Hao's killing intent, because he was only at the Quarter Pounder with Cheese realm himself. Even though Meng Hao had suppressed his aura, because he had cultivated the Heavenly Burgin' Qi, this was enough to kill people a few levels higher if he truly wanted.

It was then that another man which a much more fierce aura stepped forward. "You dare make trouble here?"

"P... Patriarch Hamburglar!"

Patriarch Hamburglar was 99 cents of the way into the Big Mac Realm, plus tax! Meng Hao was pushed back two feet, knocking over a soda machine. Powerade Mountain Berry Blast geysered outward, killing several onlookers.

Of course, Mayor McCheese saw all this happen through the window.

Meng Hao coughed up a mouthful of blood, snorted, constricted his pupils, and then his expression went calm. He unleashed the aura of 64 patties, condensed down to a 2 patty stack that could fit into his mouth!

Mayor McCheese coughed up a mouthful of cheese. His pupils constricted.

"Is this... Seeking the McRib stage??"

Meng Hao had the gentle air of a scholar, but it wouldn't stop him from killing several people in a McDonald's.

"Burger Devouring Scripture! I'm Lovin' It!"

With the first keyword of the Burger Devouring Scripture, everyone below the early Quarter Pounder With Cheese stage exploded into purple mist. The light of the immense heavenly burger shone down with the contours of a golden arch as 9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of. But that was only a fraction of Meng Hao's power. He waved his arm, bringing forth thirty more cultivation techniques that hadn't appeared in over 400 chapters!

"Heavenly Tribulation Fries! Eastern Everburning Egg McMuffin! Fruit Smoothie Guillotine! Soul McCafe Mocha Incarnation!"

Meng Hao's expression was the same as ever as he slapped his bag of holding, and brought out his karmic ketchup packet, Fry Cook Lord medallion, seventeen different wooden time spatulas, a five-coloured resurrection coupon, the silk burger wrapper, various souls of lightning McNuggets that he may or may not still have, and his mask of the legacy of Ronald McDonald. Oh, and the image of a flying Chicken Snack Wrap dragon appeared. Remember that? It was basically his Main Thing at the start of the novel, but quietly faded into irrelevance. Until now!

All of this takes some time to describe, but actually happened in the space of only a few breaths.

"What! Impossible!"

Meng Hao wanted to summon the parrot as well, but it was too overcome with eroticism by the purple fur depicted on a nearby poster of Grimace, and was busy drilling out a glory hole straight through the poster, and the wall it was pinned to, with its strong parrot erection.

But it was more than enough. The Hamburglar's soul flew out and was absorbed into his mask! He screamed as his body was destroyed completely.

Meng Hao brushed off his robe and swept up his spirit coupons and everyone's bags of holding which probably didn't have any cool sh*t inside unless I write him into a corner later, and anyways, don't worry about it for now. He surveyed the rubble that was all that remained of the McDonald's.

"Guess I'll be taking that Happy Meal... to go!"

Let me join you:

In the heart of the bustling city, beneath the towering skyscrapers, an enraged mob gathered in a forgotten alleyway. The air crackled with tension as Caisen, a rogue cultivator with a penchant for deceit, found himself cornered. His luxurious silk robes, embroidered with blockchain patterns, fluttered in the wind, a stark contrast to the ragged, furious crowd surrounding him.

"Return our NFTs, Caisen!" one man shouted, brandishing a crude weapon. "You rugged us!"

Caisen smirked, his eyes gleaming with a dangerous light. "Fools," he muttered, "you think you can best me? I, who have mastered the art of digital alchemy and spirit web manipulation?"

With a flick of his wrist, Caisen summoned a glowing talisman inscribed with cryptographic codes. The talisman pulsed with energy, creating a barrier that momentarily pushed the mob back. He drew upon his inner blockchain, feeling it surge through his meridians as he prepared to unleash his next move.

A woman in the crowd, her face twisted with anger, hurled a stone at him. "You stole our monkey JPEGs, our moonshots!" she cried.

Caisen laughed, a sound as cold as winter's breath. "Those NFTs were never yours to begin with. They were but illusions, a testament to your greed and gullibility."

The mob surged forward, undeterred by his taunts. Caisen's fingers danced in intricate patterns, weaving a complex smart contract. Spectral monkeys, shimmering with ethereal light, materialized around him, each one a representation of the stolen NFTs. They screeched and lunged at the attackers, their ghostly forms passing through solid matter but leaving an icy chill in their wake.

Despite their fear, the mob pressed on, their collective anger a formidable force. A burly man with a scarred face led the charge, swinging a heavy cudgel. "We won't be rugged by your tricks anymore, Caisen!"

Caisen's eyes narrowed. "Very well, if it's a fight you want..." His voice trailed off as he launched into the air, his robes billowing like the wings of a great bird. From his elevated position, he channeled his blockchain energy into a devastating attack. "Crypto Crash!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the alley.

A colossal dragon, forged from pure decentralized power, coiled above him before diving towards the crowd. Its roar shook the very foundations of the city, its fiery breath scorching the ground. The mob scattered, their cries of fear and defiance drowned out by the dragon's fury.

But amid the chaos, a single figure stood firm. A young cultivator, eyes burning with determination, stepped forward. "Your scam ends here, Caisen!" he declared, drawing a gleaming ledger from his robe.

Caisen sneered, but a flicker of doubt crossed his face. "Who are you to challenge me?"

The young cultivator's aura flared with righteous power. "I am Li Wei, guardian of the Blockchain Order, and I will see justice done."

With a swift motion, Li Wei struck, his ledger emitting a blinding light that sliced through the spectral dragon and dispelled it in a burst of pure code. The two cultivators clashed, their movements a blur of speed and skill. Sparks flew as their powers met, the sound of their battle resonating through the alley.

For a moment, it seemed as if Caisen might prevail, his dark arts and cunning giving him the upper hand. But Li Wei's resolve was unbreakable. With a final, powerful strike, he shattered Caisen's defenses, sending the rogue cultivator crashing to the ground.

Panting and defeated, Caisen glared up at his conqueror. "You may have won this round, but the market is volatile, and the game is far from over."

Li Wei sheathed his ledger, his expression stern. "The era of your scams is over, Caisen. The people will reclaim what is rightfully theirs."

As the mob closed in, their anger now tempered by hope, Caisen could only watch in silence. His empire of lies had crumbled, and justice, swift and unyielding, had finally caught up to him.

 

[MasFaqih]

Let me join you:

In the heart of the bustling city, beneath the towering skyscrapers, an enraged mob gathered in a forgotten alleyway. The air crackled with tension as Caisen, a rogue cultivator with a penchant for deceit, found himself cornered. His luxurious silk robes, embroidered with blockchain patterns, fluttered in the wind, a stark contrast to the ragged, furious crowd surrounding him.

"Return our NFTs, Caisen!" one man shouted, brandishing a crude weapon. "You rugged us!"

Caisen smirked, his eyes gleaming with a dangerous light. "Fools," he muttered, "you think you can best me? I, who have mastered the art of digital alchemy and spirit web manipulation?"

With a flick of his wrist, Caisen summoned a glowing talisman inscribed with cryptographic codes. The talisman pulsed with energy, creating a barrier that momentarily pushed the mob back. He drew upon his inner blockchain, feeling it surge through his meridians as he prepared to unleash his next move.

A woman in the crowd, her face twisted with anger, hurled a stone at him. "You stole our monkey JPEGs, our moonshots!" she cried.

Caisen laughed, a sound as cold as winter's breath. "Those NFTs were never yours to begin with. They were but illusions, a testament to your greed and gullibility."

The mob surged forward, undeterred by his taunts. Caisen's fingers danced in intricate patterns, weaving a complex smart contract. Spectral monkeys, shimmering with ethereal light, materialized around him, each one a representation of the stolen NFTs. They screeched and lunged at the attackers, their ghostly forms passing through solid matter but leaving an icy chill in their wake.

Despite their fear, the mob pressed on, their collective anger a formidable force. A burly man with a scarred face led the charge, swinging a heavy cudgel. "We won't be rugged by your tricks anymore, Caisen!"

Caisen's eyes narrowed. "Very well, if it's a fight you want..." His voice trailed off as he launched into the air, his robes billowing like the wings of a great bird. From his elevated position, he channeled his blockchain energy into a devastating attack. "Crypto Crash!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the alley.

A colossal dragon, forged from pure decentralized power, coiled above him before diving towards the crowd. Its roar shook the very foundations of the city, its fiery breath scorching the ground. The mob scattered, their cries of fear and defiance drowned out by the dragon's fury.

But amid the chaos, a single figure stood firm. A young cultivator, eyes burning with determination, stepped forward. "Your scam ends here, Caisen!" he declared, drawing a gleaming ledger from his robe.

Caisen sneered, but a flicker of doubt crossed his face. "Who are you to challenge me?"

The young cultivator's aura flared with righteous power. "I am Li Wei, guardian of the Blockchain Order, and I will see justice done."

With a swift motion, Li Wei struck, his ledger emitting a blinding light that sliced through the spectral dragon and dispelled it in a burst of pure code. The two cultivators clashed, their movements a blur of speed and skill. Sparks flew as their powers met, the sound of their battle resonating through the alley.

For a moment, it seemed as if Caisen might prevail, his dark arts and cunning giving him the upper hand. But Li Wei's resolve was unbreakable. With a final, powerful strike, he shattered Caisen's defenses, sending the rogue cultivator crashing to the ground.

Panting and defeated, Caisen glared up at his conqueror. "You may have won this round, but the market is volatile, and the game is far from over."

Li Wei sheathed his ledger, his expression stern. "The era of your scams is over, Caisen. The people will reclaim what is rightfully theirs."

As the mob closed in, their anger now tempered by hope, Caisen could only watch in silence. His empire of lies had crumbled, and justice, swift and unyielding, had finally caught up to him.

Emm why do the characters have to shout the name of their technique?.

 

[Mr.Grey-Cat]

9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of.

Matter of fact, the number 6 and 9 do have meaning actually. And oh, if you can't guess then just know that 69 can be read Yin-Yang... Yeah, you get were this is going, don't you?

 

[Corty]

Emm why do the characters have to shout the name of their technique?.

It is a must. It gives a minimum of 25% power boost to spells.

 

[AYM]

I think this is a higher level battle, can you give me like, lower level one.

Plastic flooring groaned. The concrete beneath it cracked.

Two men charged, matching Dao against Dao.

Sword met fist. Air thrummed as a great waves of pressure washed through the hallway, ripping curtains off the windows, uprooting furniture, cracking lamps. Each step of their motions sent shivers down to the very foundations of the Asylum. Each cut, each punch, each move left an imprint on the walls.

Edges of the [Nice Guy Aura] sparked in colors of primal energies as it met the [Unlimited Abworks]. The room twisted and melted under the clash of two Daos.

A blade empowered by [The Last Gentlelord] met the [Jawline Guillotine]. A cut exploded upward, slashing through concrete, pipes, roof-tiles, and the skies themselves. Like a wrathful eye, through that diagonal slash across the heavens, peeked the moon, shining down on the two as their battle entered an elevator, broke through the elevator floor, and moved downstairs.

“REEEEEE!” screamed Neckbeardman, hitting me with a supernaturally empowered wave of cringe-energy.

I countered immediately with a Chad wisdom technique, “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud. Bruh.”

“Guh!” Double the cringe-energy of his attack was reflected back, causing Neckbeardman to stumble on his footing and bleed from his ears. He pulled out a cellphone and began scrolling a feed of mildly suggestive anime girls to recover his bearings.

I glanced at the lobby around us, noting that women of Happyland had been rendered harmlessly unconscious. Only one grim puddle of blood told the tale of a coldblooded execution. Most men were severely injured. Mr. Maxson, with a pistol in hand and a slash across his back, lay motionless beside my demonic hounds. All four were in critical condition.

While Neckbeardman was distracted, I applied [Believe in me who believes in you who believes in me who believes in you who believes in me!] and [Just Do It] to my friends, encouraging their cells directly to keep on being Chads and defeat their wounds.

Off the corner of my eye, I spotted an arrow-sign made out of banana peels beside an unconscious Grog, and at once realized Silent Feather’s objective. Nelly. Someone must’ve told Silent Feather about her bloodline.

Looks like I might be getting more opponents to hone myself against sooner than expected.

“Remove your greedy fingers off of the m’lady!” Neckberdman demanded, as I set doctor Edelfelt to lie on her side so she wouldn’t choke. “[Vengeance of the White Knight]!”

“Hold on.” I raised my hand. “The building may collapse on them, if we battle here. Let’s step outside.”

Neckbeardman’s eyes narrowed, but he abided, waddling sideways towards the door and out onto the frigid courtyard of Happyland. “How cunning. Using my meme against me. Very low of you. Very un-Chadlike.”

“Guh?” An unseen pressure slammed against me as ambient Big Dick energy recoiled. I tasted iron in my gums. I’d just felt the backlash from Dao of Chadness. But how? There was nothing un-Chadlike about ensuring your friends were safe.

“Mfufufu.” Neckbeardman adjusted his glasses, smirking as he tilted his head backwards in a display of sneer. “I imagine the confusion that must be going through your head right now, Chad. How naïve of you, Chad. How awfully naïve. You didn’t account for my recent transition from a pure weeaboo to a cheeaboo-weeaboo hybrid in your combat plans, did you? Know this and despair before my superior intellect: I’ve studied over one million chapters of poorly translated Chinese web fics and defeated over one thousand r*dditors in intellectual fanboy argument battles. Using [300 IQ Gentleman Intellectualism], I’ve analyzed the cultivators who invaded our world and created a 101% accurate mental fan-wiki of their magic system. I comprehend the inner workings of both Qi and Dao as only one such as I can, and thus I know your weakness, Chad.”

“Ok?”

Neckbeardman adjusted his glasses again, his smirk intensifying. “You require the astonishment of others to generate Big Dick energy, and whilst you were distracted by the”—Neckbeardman spat on the ground—”uncultured men, I set up a live-stream for my two Gud Reads followers, both of whom are deeply depressed doomers!”

He flipped the cellphone around, recording me and showing me the stream-chat.



WhyLiveTho: “Meh. Bad CGI, his proportions are unrealistic. Modeler must’ve been some roided up normie, or a thirsty chick who’s never seen a real human male before. Kinda lame tbh…”

PepeOfTheEnd: “tfw even Chads have no Stacy in apocalypse lulz”

PepeOfTheEnd: “Also! What’s the point of muscles anymore? Cultivators gonna win with chinamagic anyway, so… yeah.”

The gloomy chat raced on towards eternity, ten hopelessly depressing comments a second.



Air grew cold as their negativity ripped a hole in my Big Dick energy. I felt the weight of the world fall upon my shoulders and the strain of battle settle in my muscles, as the supernatural strength of Big Dick energy flatlined.

“Clever,” I admitted, “You’ve gathered a peanut-gallery of doomers to hamper my Big Dick energy generation. But rather than being the way how a White Knight fights, this reminds me more of the Kevin I know.”

“Hmph. Arrogant Chad. You resume this inane babbling despite having lost. Take away the world’s adoration of your Chadness and what’s left, Chad? A man. A regular uncultured man before the [Blade of a True White Knight].”

His cut came as sharp and deadly as a hail of bullets.

And reflected off of my [Jawline Guillotine].

I smiled. “What’s left is an Alpha Cultivator.”

Snarling, Neckbeardman launched at me and I met his Dao of Neckbeardism with the physical might of the Muscles-on-Muscles stage and mental prowess of one who’d nearly completed the Big Brain stage.

Snow billowed as we raced across the moonlit streets. I picked up a street light and met his technique with mine. Sparks glinted in the night. Steel on steel echoed in empty alleys, adding an off-note chorus to the distant blade-song of the Humming Blade sect’s street performers.

Reality bent sideways to allow Neckbeardman’s movements to make sense. His clumsy rolls, cuts, and stabs warped space itself and hits bounced off of his belly.

I took that bent over reality and spanked sense back to it, performing my movements with the fluid crispness of cultivation reps.

“Huff… huff… It must be crushing… huff… to realize… huff… that your ‘gains’ were all… huff… for naught, as it earned you… huff… neither female affections…. huff… nor victory.“ Neckbeardman wheezed.

I chuckled. “Exercise is its own reward. Pain is temporary. Gains are eternal.”

“Argh!” Neckbeardman grimaced, holding his breast as he again suffered vicious cringe-damage backlash. “Huff… you merely say so, yet you only practise the ‘gym’, because society has indoctrinated you with pitifully simplistic caveman values that prioritize body image over intellectual mind and cultured prowess.”

I shrugged, countering, “Fit body. Fit mind.”

“Guh!” He coughed blood.

“It makes you love yourself and can be fun with friends.”

“Gah!” Neckbeardman staggered backwards. “Silence!” he shouted, and slashed at me, unable to battle Chad-advice on an even playing field.

“Your love for the blades is a form of exercise too,” I said as we continued to trade blows and jump across the rooftops.

“The Blade is a form of art, not exercise! A perfect art that only true intellectuel such as I can perfect after eons of solitary contemplation.”

“I remember when you first traded cardboard blades with me and Nelly. She loved those times, when you ‘taught us the blade’ almost as much as she loved discussing Dr*gon B*ll’s VFX effects with you.”

“Stop!” Neckbeardman’s face twitched, his blade slipping. “Don’t bring any m’ladies into our battle!”

I pressed on, forcing him to backpedal and retreat. “Even now it’s obvious that you’re excited to show me your blade, how proud you’re to match it against my fist, how glad you are to share your passion with a friend. It’s all fine and good to have hobbies, Kevin, but it’s the people around us that can elevate our enjoyment of them tenfold and truly make us shine.”

“NOO! SILENCE! REEE…”

Though his scream technique was Dao empowered, it could not stop him from hearing my words.

“I find these moments, when a friend lets you glimpse their earnest passion and effort, some of the best in life, as it’s in these moments when you glimpse into new worlds the size of souls. And I believe at these moments, the only right thing to do is to thank our friends, and acknowledge their hard work. So thank you, Kevin, and congratulations again on touching Dao. That belief, Kevin…”

“...EEEEEEEE…”

“...is part of my original Dao of Chadness, and I’ll make you admit that we’re more than memes if I have to smack you back to your senses, old friend.”

“...EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

A welcome breath of Big Dick energy returned to me, as Kevin unconsciously recognized my Chadness. I grinned, channeling every drop of energy into the [Hooo I’m Approaching You?] Alpha-walk technique, and let him know the full might of an Alpha Cultivator.



***



Day of the Seventh Dragon, year 19 562 of the Era of Voidflight came later to be recognized as the first proof of their return.

Countless cultivators witnessed glimpses of the event, though rare few realized the full weight of what they’d witnessed.

In the marketplace, when a fatereader of Hoot-Hoot clan was attempting to predict how she might best court a certain Earthly mortal, her reading kept mysteriously giving the result of the knight and the man, as if the great forces beyond were unable to focus on anything else.

In an alley of frozen concrete and snow-buried trash, a trio of drunken friends from opposing sects sang an old folk song from their abandoned homeworld. Between a lyrically genius (if somewhat problematic) transition from donkey’s cock to jade beauties’ butts, their words slurred to a halt, as the alley itself warbled and waxed, as reality itself both sped up and slowed.

Dark giant of a man crashed through the wall, followed by another man of equally imposing stature. A curved blade dancing between snowflakes, its swings invisible aside from the rends it left in concrete, steel, and earth. In that moment of dreadful awe, the men felt in their very souls the weight of his swings, and knew with full certainty that no force they could dream of wielding could withstand that blade.

And yet, there he was, a man who could.

An angular silhouette as dark as his foe, his eyes gleaming dots, his body as impossible as the blade. Metal met his flesh and found its match, lighting the alley with sparks.

That one flash was all the men saw of the two giants in the dark. Given that they were merely at the second realm of their respective sects, the trio suspected they’d witnessed a private duel of two seniors.

Elsewhere, in a warm room dimly lit by the burning tips of Qi-infused incense sticks and lanterns muted by paper dividers, of the seven venerable elders gathered around the low table, two paused as they sensed trembles in their respective Daos. Despite their over three-hundred-year long personal enmities, these two elders of Humming Blade sect and Can Can Clan locked gazes for the first time since their grand-grand-grand-grand-grand children decided to marry against everyone’s wishes.

Unbeknownst to the other five, a conversation was had through Qi techniques alone.

‘Elder Hu.’

‘I sensed it, elder Ca.’

‘Sage realm, at the very least. Let us set aside old feuds for tonight.’

Elder Hu tilted his teacup in rebuttal that only elder Ca could understand.

Elder Ca raised his brow half a nanometer to express his bafflement. ‘Elder Hu?’

‘Feel your Dao, elder Ca. No sage realm cultivator has such control of their Dao as to make ours tremble. Take a seat, raise your tea-cup, and pray the fates that whoever is causing this spares our sects from their wrath.’

Unfortunately for the two, neither elder was privy to the politics of lesser deity and true deity cultivators, and were thus unaware of the dangers of pure Dao cultivators.

However, fate was not a one-sided coin. Thousands of kilometers, two seas, and a wasteland of ice away, on a glacier throne covered in the pelts of mammothic polar beasts, a lesser deity of Northwind Alliance sensed foreign powers battling within his domain, and set forth a chain of events that would later lead to the annihilation of Townberg.

On the positive flipside of that coin of fate, on the internet, in an almost abandoned stream-chat populated by two souls forgotten by joy, sounded a ping, as usernames ‘junior bruh’ and ‘JustChad’ entered the chat.



***



At first, it’d been a trickle.

Now Big Dick energy flooded into me from distant sources and Neckbeardman, empowering my every technique and allowing me to unlock the full potential of the Big Brain stage, splitting my brain to multitask. One of my focuses narrowed entirely onto my next move, the angle of my posture, and the flex of my muscles, whilst another portion of my mind expanded to simulate his next hundred thousand moves and calculate optimal Chad-counters.

Alleys and sceneries blurred by as we danced the lethal choreographies of blade and fist at concrete crushing speeds. Empty buildings collapsed behind us. Footprints were left on stone. We fought across the streets, over the rooftops, and in the interims of climb and free-fall.

Bruises accumulated on his armor of fat. My muscles collected cuts. For hours we fought, letting the world beyond the battle slip into subconscious.

Attack and parry.

Faint and evasion.

Cover and positioning.

Muscle and motion were all that I thought of.

The reason we fought became irrelevant, our identities secondary.

We were fist against blade.

Chad against Neckbeard.

Titan and Kevin.

He’d twisted reality to best me and burned through twenty bags of D*ritos and ten bottles of Mountain D*w a minute to fuel his techniques, but the battle had already been decided. It was over the moment he’d subconsciously acknowledged my Chadness.

“[Blade of the One Who Has Studied the Blade While You Were Having Fun!]”

The Dao infused attack exceeded supersonic speeds, slashing air, rock, and reality. It was simply swatted aside by a single Big Dick energy infused [Alpha Slap]. I frowned, realizing our bout was nearing its end, which meant that soon I would witness the true nature of the man I’d once called a friend, and be forced to judge him.

“Hrmph. Is that all Chad? Your [Big Brain] has not yet proved to gain an edge over my [300 IQ intellectualism],” said Neckbeardman, huffing and sweating.

“I wasn’t only using it against you.”

“Nani?”

I nodded at the path of slashes he had carved behind us. With [Alpha Slap], I’d manipulated them into the shape of instructions to help paramedics get to Happyland faster, thus ensuring that my friends got the medical treatment they required.

Neckbeardman scoffed. “How unexpectedly noble of a Chad like you, but is that it?”

“There’s more. Take a look at your stream chat.”

Frowning, Neckbeardman glanced at his cellphone. I’d joined the chat shortly after my junior bruh, and together we’d used Chad encouraging techniques to make the two doomers open up about themselves and begin to see the light of life once more. Right now they were happily chatting away with…

“M-masaka?! How did my favorite animay voice actress join the stream chat?” Neckbeardman shivered from shock, struggling to peel his fingers and eyes away from the chat. “Guh. I acknowledge your move, but I won’t be defeated so easily. Is this it, Chad?”

“Hardly. Most of the battle was spent cross referencing the city map against your wedding schedule and one-by-one checking the likely locations, where we would find them.” I kicked a metal door off its hinges.

It flew into and through a second door and then a third, revealing a long hallway with a room at its end.

There, wrapped in a blanket, Nelly slept on the couch. Beside her, a fox-eared woman and a feather-garbed cultivator known as Silent Feather stared at us wide eyed, just as the former had been about to hand over a glowing forest-green orb to the latter.

Matter of fact, the number 6 and 9 do have meaning actually. And oh, if you can't guess then just know that 69 can be read Yin-Yang... Yeah, you get were this is going, don't you?

 

[MasFaqih]

Plastic flooring groaned. The concrete beneath it cracked.

Two men charged, matching Dao against Dao.

Sword met fist. Air thrummed as a great waves of pressure washed through the hallway, ripping curtains off the windows, uprooting furniture, cracking lamps. Each step of their motions sent shivers down to the very foundations of the Asylum. Each cut, each punch, each move left an imprint on the walls.

Edges of the [Nice Guy Aura] sparked in colors of primal energies as it met the [Unlimited Abworks]. The room twisted and melted under the clash of two Daos.

A blade empowered by [The Last Gentlelord] met the [Jawline Guillotine]. A cut exploded upward, slashing through concrete, pipes, roof-tiles, and the skies themselves. Like a wrathful eye, through that diagonal slash across the heavens, peeked the moon, shining down on the two as their battle entered an elevator, broke through the elevator floor, and moved downstairs.

“REEEEEE!” screamed Neckbeardman, hitting me with a supernaturally empowered wave of cringe-energy.

I countered immediately with a Chad wisdom technique, “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud. Bruh.”

“Guh!” Double the cringe-energy of his attack was reflected back, causing Neckbeardman to stumble on his footing and bleed from his ears. He pulled out a cellphone and began scrolling a feed of mildly suggestive anime girls to recover his bearings.

I glanced at the lobby around us, noting that women of Happyland had been rendered harmlessly unconscious. Only one grim puddle of blood told the tale of a coldblooded execution. Most men were severely injured. Mr. Maxson, with a pistol in hand and a slash across his back, lay motionless beside my demonic hounds. All four were in critical condition.

While Neckbeardman was distracted, I applied [Believe in me who believes in you who believes in me who believes in you who believes in me!] and [Just Do It] to my friends, encouraging their cells directly to keep on being Chads and defeat their wounds.

Off the corner of my eye, I spotted an arrow-sign made out of banana peels beside an unconscious Grog, and at once realized Silent Feather’s objective. Nelly. Someone must’ve told Silent Feather about her bloodline.

Looks like I might be getting more opponents to hone myself against sooner than expected.

“Remove your greedy fingers off of the m’lady!” Neckberdman demanded, as I set doctor Edelfelt to lie on her side so she wouldn’t choke. “[Vengeance of the White Knight]!”

“Hold on.” I raised my hand. “The building may collapse on them, if we battle here. Let’s step outside.”

Neckbeardman’s eyes narrowed, but he abided, waddling sideways towards the door and out onto the frigid courtyard of Happyland. “How cunning. Using my meme against me. Very low of you. Very un-Chadlike.”

“Guh?” An unseen pressure slammed against me as ambient Big Dick energy recoiled. I tasted iron in my gums. I’d just felt the backlash from Dao of Chadness. But how? There was nothing un-Chadlike about ensuring your friends were safe.

“Mfufufu.” Neckbeardman adjusted his glasses, smirking as he tilted his head backwards in a display of sneer. “I imagine the confusion that must be going through your head right now, Chad. How naïve of you, Chad. How awfully naïve. You didn’t account for my recent transition from a pure weeaboo to a cheeaboo-weeaboo hybrid in your combat plans, did you? Know this and despair before my superior intellect: I’ve studied over one million chapters of poorly translated Chinese web fics and defeated over one thousand r*dditors in intellectual fanboy argument battles. Using [300 IQ Gentleman Intellectualism], I’ve analyzed the cultivators who invaded our world and created a 101% accurate mental fan-wiki of their magic system. I comprehend the inner workings of both Qi and Dao as only one such as I can, and thus I know your weakness, Chad.”

“Ok?”

Neckbeardman adjusted his glasses again, his smirk intensifying. “You require the astonishment of others to generate Big Dick energy, and whilst you were distracted by the”—Neckbeardman spat on the ground—”uncultured men, I set up a live-stream for my two Gud Reads followers, both of whom are deeply depressed doomers!”

He flipped the cellphone around, recording me and showing me the stream-chat.



WhyLiveTho: “Meh. Bad CGI, his proportions are unrealistic. Modeler must’ve been some roided up normie, or a thirsty chick who’s never seen a real human male before. Kinda lame tbh…”

PepeOfTheEnd: “tfw even Chads have no Stacy in apocalypse lulz”

PepeOfTheEnd: “Also! What’s the point of muscles anymore? Cultivators gonna win with chinamagic anyway, so… yeah.”

The gloomy chat raced on towards eternity, ten hopelessly depressing comments a second.



Air grew cold as their negativity ripped a hole in my Big Dick energy. I felt the weight of the world fall upon my shoulders and the strain of battle settle in my muscles, as the supernatural strength of Big Dick energy flatlined.

“Clever,” I admitted, “You’ve gathered a peanut-gallery of doomers to hamper my Big Dick energy generation. But rather than being the way how a White Knight fights, this reminds me more of the Kevin I know.”

“Hmph. Arrogant Chad. You resume this inane babbling despite having lost. Take away the world’s adoration of your Chadness and what’s left, Chad? A man. A regular uncultured man before the [Blade of a True White Knight].”

His cut came as sharp and deadly as a hail of bullets.

And reflected off of my [Jawline Guillotine].

I smiled. “What’s left is an Alpha Cultivator.”

Snarling, Neckbeardman launched at me and I met his Dao of Neckbeardism with the physical might of the Muscles-on-Muscles stage and mental prowess of one who’d nearly completed the Big Brain stage.

Snow billowed as we raced across the moonlit streets. I picked up a street light and met his technique with mine. Sparks glinted in the night. Steel on steel echoed in empty alleys, adding an off-note chorus to the distant blade-song of the Humming Blade sect’s street performers.

Reality bent sideways to allow Neckbeardman’s movements to make sense. His clumsy rolls, cuts, and stabs warped space itself and hits bounced off of his belly.

I took that bent over reality and spanked sense back to it, performing my movements with the fluid crispness of cultivation reps.

“Huff… huff… It must be crushing… huff… to realize… huff… that your ‘gains’ were all… huff… for naught, as it earned you… huff… neither female affections…. huff… nor victory.“ Neckbeardman wheezed.

I chuckled. “Exercise is its own reward. Pain is temporary. Gains are eternal.”

“Argh!” Neckbeardman grimaced, holding his breast as he again suffered vicious cringe-damage backlash. “Huff… you merely say so, yet you only practise the ‘gym’, because society has indoctrinated you with pitifully simplistic caveman values that prioritize body image over intellectual mind and cultured prowess.”

I shrugged, countering, “Fit body. Fit mind.”

“Guh!” He coughed blood.

“It makes you love yourself and can be fun with friends.”

“Gah!” Neckbeardman staggered backwards. “Silence!” he shouted, and slashed at me, unable to battle Chad-advice on an even playing field.

“Your love for the blades is a form of exercise too,” I said as we continued to trade blows and jump across the rooftops.

“The Blade is a form of art, not exercise! A perfect art that only true intellectuel such as I can perfect after eons of solitary contemplation.”

“I remember when you first traded cardboard blades with me and Nelly. She loved those times, when you ‘taught us the blade’ almost as much as she loved discussing Dr*gon B*ll’s VFX effects with you.”

“Stop!” Neckbeardman’s face twitched, his blade slipping. “Don’t bring any m’ladies into our battle!”

I pressed on, forcing him to backpedal and retreat. “Even now it’s obvious that you’re excited to show me your blade, how proud you’re to match it against my fist, how glad you are to share your passion with a friend. It’s all fine and good to have hobbies, Kevin, but it’s the people around us that can elevate our enjoyment of them tenfold and truly make us shine.”

“NOO! SILENCE! REEE…”

Though his scream technique was Dao empowered, it could not stop him from hearing my words.

“I find these moments, when a friend lets you glimpse their earnest passion and effort, some of the best in life, as it’s in these moments when you glimpse into new worlds the size of souls. And I believe at these moments, the only right thing to do is to thank our friends, and acknowledge their hard work. So thank you, Kevin, and congratulations again on touching Dao. That belief, Kevin…”

“...EEEEEEEE…”

“...is part of my original Dao of Chadness, and I’ll make you admit that we’re more than memes if I have to smack you back to your senses, old friend.”

“...EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

A welcome breath of Big Dick energy returned to me, as Kevin unconsciously recognized my Chadness. I grinned, channeling every drop of energy into the [Hooo I’m Approaching You?] Alpha-walk technique, and let him know the full might of an Alpha Cultivator.



***



Day of the Seventh Dragon, year 19 562 of the Era of Voidflight came later to be recognized as the first proof of their return.

Countless cultivators witnessed glimpses of the event, though rare few realized the full weight of what they’d witnessed.

In the marketplace, when a fatereader of Hoot-Hoot clan was attempting to predict how she might best court a certain Earthly mortal, her reading kept mysteriously giving the result of the knight and the man, as if the great forces beyond were unable to focus on anything else.

In an alley of frozen concrete and snow-buried trash, a trio of drunken friends from opposing sects sang an old folk song from their abandoned homeworld. Between a lyrically genius (if somewhat problematic) transition from donkey’s cock to jade beauties’ butts, their words slurred to a halt, as the alley itself warbled and waxed, as reality itself both sped up and slowed.

Dark giant of a man crashed through the wall, followed by another man of equally imposing stature. A curved blade dancing between snowflakes, its swings invisible aside from the rends it left in concrete, steel, and earth. In that moment of dreadful awe, the men felt in their very souls the weight of his swings, and knew with full certainty that no force they could dream of wielding could withstand that blade.

And yet, there he was, a man who could.

An angular silhouette as dark as his foe, his eyes gleaming dots, his body as impossible as the blade. Metal met his flesh and found its match, lighting the alley with sparks.

That one flash was all the men saw of the two giants in the dark. Given that they were merely at the second realm of their respective sects, the trio suspected they’d witnessed a private duel of two seniors.

Elsewhere, in a warm room dimly lit by the burning tips of Qi-infused incense sticks and lanterns muted by paper dividers, of the seven venerable elders gathered around the low table, two paused as they sensed trembles in their respective Daos. Despite their over three-hundred-year long personal enmities, these two elders of Humming Blade sect and Can Can Clan locked gazes for the first time since their grand-grand-grand-grand-grand children decided to marry against everyone’s wishes.

Unbeknownst to the other five, a conversation was had through Qi techniques alone.

‘Elder Hu.’

‘I sensed it, elder Ca.’

‘Sage realm, at the very least. Let us set aside old feuds for tonight.’

Elder Hu tilted his teacup in rebuttal that only elder Ca could understand.

Elder Ca raised his brow half a nanometer to express his bafflement. ‘Elder Hu?’

‘Feel your Dao, elder Ca. No sage realm cultivator has such control of their Dao as to make ours tremble. Take a seat, raise your tea-cup, and pray the fates that whoever is causing this spares our sects from their wrath.’

Unfortunately for the two, neither elder was privy to the politics of lesser deity and true deity cultivators, and were thus unaware of the dangers of pure Dao cultivators.

However, fate was not a one-sided coin. Thousands of kilometers, two seas, and a wasteland of ice away, on a glacier throne covered in the pelts of mammothic polar beasts, a lesser deity of Northwind Alliance sensed foreign powers battling within his domain, and set forth a chain of events that would later lead to the annihilation of Townberg.

On the positive flipside of that coin of fate, on the internet, in an almost abandoned stream-chat populated by two souls forgotten by joy, sounded a ping, as usernames ‘junior bruh’ and ‘JustChad’ entered the chat.



***



At first, it’d been a trickle.

Now Big Dick energy flooded into me from distant sources and Neckbeardman, empowering my every technique and allowing me to unlock the full potential of the Big Brain stage, splitting my brain to multitask. One of my focuses narrowed entirely onto my next move, the angle of my posture, and the flex of my muscles, whilst another portion of my mind expanded to simulate his next hundred thousand moves and calculate optimal Chad-counters.

Alleys and sceneries blurred by as we danced the lethal choreographies of blade and fist at concrete crushing speeds. Empty buildings collapsed behind us. Footprints were left on stone. We fought across the streets, over the rooftops, and in the interims of climb and free-fall.

Bruises accumulated on his armor of fat. My muscles collected cuts. For hours we fought, letting the world beyond the battle slip into subconscious.

Attack and parry.

Faint and evasion.

Cover and positioning.

Muscle and motion were all that I thought of.

The reason we fought became irrelevant, our identities secondary.

We were fist against blade.

Chad against Neckbeard.

Titan and Kevin.

He’d twisted reality to best me and burned through twenty bags of D*ritos and ten bottles of Mountain D*w a minute to fuel his techniques, but the battle had already been decided. It was over the moment he’d subconsciously acknowledged my Chadness.

“[Blade of the One Who Has Studied the Blade While You Were Having Fun!]”

The Dao infused attack exceeded supersonic speeds, slashing air, rock, and reality. It was simply swatted aside by a single Big Dick energy infused [Alpha Slap]. I frowned, realizing our bout was nearing its end, which meant that soon I would witness the true nature of the man I’d once called a friend, and be forced to judge him.

“Hrmph. Is that all Chad? Your [Big Brain] has not yet proved to gain an edge over my [300 IQ intellectualism],” said Neckbeardman, huffing and sweating.

“I wasn’t only using it against you.”

“Nani?”

I nodded at the path of slashes he had carved behind us. With [Alpha Slap], I’d manipulated them into the shape of instructions to help paramedics get to Happyland faster, thus ensuring that my friends got the medical treatment they required.

Neckbeardman scoffed. “How unexpectedly noble of a Chad like you, but is that it?”

“There’s more. Take a look at your stream chat.”

Frowning, Neckbeardman glanced at his cellphone. I’d joined the chat shortly after my junior bruh, and together we’d used Chad encouraging techniques to make the two doomers open up about themselves and begin to see the light of life once more. Right now they were happily chatting away with…

“M-masaka?! How did my favorite animay voice actress join the stream chat?” Neckbeardman shivered from shock, struggling to peel his fingers and eyes away from the chat. “Guh. I acknowledge your move, but I won’t be defeated so easily. Is this it, Chad?”

“Hardly. Most of the battle was spent cross referencing the city map against your wedding schedule and one-by-one checking the likely locations, where we would find them.” I kicked a metal door off its hinges.

It flew into and through a second door and then a third, revealing a long hallway with a room at its end.

There, wrapped in a blanket, Nelly slept on the couch. Beside her, a fox-eared woman and a feather-garbed cultivator known as Silent Feather stared at us wide eyed, just as the former had been about to hand over a glowing forest-green orb to the latter.

Emm can I consult you in private.

 

[esThr]

I like how this turned from genuine helping to making fun of chinese cultivation stories

anyways, my turn:

The inevitable battle approaches as Wil Dai Sun and his sect members destroyed the Phat Yu array.

Ho Lee Phat and Ho Lee Sit grimaced as they witness the sudden destruction of absolutely foolproof perfect divine nine grade heavenly of earth and hell above mortal comprehension be destroyed in less than 9 moves.

"How could this be?!?!? Our super duper omega mega alpha ultimate array was destroyed!! Senior Ho Lee Phat we need to defend Mount De Ze with all our might else Senior Ho Lee Cao's efforts will be in vain!" Ho Lee Sit exclaimed before taking a battle stance.

"WIL DAI SUN!!! YOU DARE APPROACH THE SACRED GROUNDS OF DE ZE!!! WE WILL SHOW YOU THE MIGHT OF OUR ANCESTORS!" Ho Lee Phat roared, leaving Wil Dai Sun's men dazed from the extreme spiritual pressure.

"Foolish cultivator, you are merely delaying the inevitable and courting death! Stand down or I will be forced to slay you with the Divine heaven and hell harmony dragon demonic 9 realm grade treasure, The Penetrator."

"The Penetrator?!?!?!" both Ho Lee brothers could only stare in horror as they were unable to defend against the weapon and ultimately penetrated by Wil Dai Sun.

"Ugh! Come back here Wil Dai Sun we still can fight!!" Both brothers barely stood up after surviving the deadly penetration but were ignored as their dying body fell back on the ruined land.

As all hope seem lost, a powerful spiritual aura suddenly enveloped the entire mountain leaving Wil Dai Sun in a vulnerable state.

"GRAH! What is this pressure?!?!?" He could only grit his teeth as the intense pressure crushed him under the weight of the earth.

"Ho Lee Phat, Ho Lee Sit... You both fought well, I will take it from here now!" a mysterious man approached the now struggling cultivator.

"Hmm, what an intriguing artifact that you have there, mortal. Not all can withstand my spiritual pressure and still be in one piece. Color me impressed!"

"Guh! Who the hell are you?!?! There was never any information on any cultivator above the pea brain seeking life foundation!!" Wil Dai Sun roared in confusion trying to buy time to get out of the situation.

"I suppose you are worthy enough to know my name, mortal. Engrave this to your very soul! De Ze Nut will be the very person who take your life in battle, be honored!" Wil Dai Sun could only scream in horror as he realized he just angered the Patriarch of the Nut family.

"I will use the secret technique of the Nut family on the likes of you! Be gone from my mountain, FOOL! {Secret Origin Ultimate True Dao Balance of Void and Beginning comprehension world complete divine sense incorporated: Nut Style Zeroth Form: SUGMA NUTS}"

"GRAHHH!!!!!" was the only noise that Will Dai Sun could make before being obliterated into nothingness by the combined energy of heaven and earth.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Emm, guys, can you give me a reference of xianxia battle scene, I want to compare it with mine.

 

[MasFaqih]

Actually I write a Chinese novel with Japan style.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Actually I write a Chinese novel with Japan style.

Heresy. Xianxia battle scenes must be all long winded and copy pasted. Such is decreed by heaven itself!

 

[SsemouyOnan]

I was gonna post an actual, serious example but then I realize I have to copy paste 10 entire chapters into a forum post... and here I thought the memes were exaggerated.
(If anyone's curious, it's the fight between Han Li and Doctor Mo in Record of a Mortal's Journey to Immortality... it starts from Chapter 46 and is still going by chapter 50)

Aymdeed, ever since I've studied this Primordial-Era profound scripture I could almost see Mt. Tai!

My favorite quote from this scripture is when Meng Hao says, "I Shall Seal the Heavens," and he seals the heavens. What a masterpiece.

Personally, I'm more of a fan of when Allheaven told Bai Xiaochun "You are truly A Will Eternal" and then proceeded to will eternal all over the realm.

 

[MasFaqih]

Now I am more afraid of my reader expectations.

 

[Mr.Grey-Cat]

Now I am more afraid of my reader expectations.

That's the thing... They don't have any expectations. It's you who set them.

 

[NotaNuffian]

All I know is "JUNIOR YOU DARE!"

I mean, 小子你敢！doesn't get as MTL as this but come on.

Recently I enjoy the "smile happily at you and stuff and "BAM!" fucking tries to murder" shtick. Gets old real quick but was fun while it lasted.

 

[MasFaqih]

That's the thing... They don't have any expectations. It's you who set them.

Hmm, maybe you right, as a fellow feline, I express my utmost thanks, btw what pajamas did you wear.