Write quotes/proverb (funny or not)

[RepresentingPride]

Invent or use existing quote/proverb be it funny or not. (I have a few funny quotes in the universe of cultivation story, some may be cringe I think? Well lets find who have the more cringe quote too.)


- A wise man once said, 'If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.' And that's how I became a master cultivator.

- The early bird may get the worm, but the late worm doesn't get eaten.

- They say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Well, I took that step and promptly tripped over a rock.

 

[HelloHound]

a.if you find yourself in a hole, quit digging
b. even after you stop digging, you're still in a hole

don't squat with your spurs on

 

[Syringe]

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.

 

[dummycake]

it's better to piss in the shower than shower in the piss

 

[RepresentingPride]

it's better to piss in the shower than shower in the piss

true

 

[Rhaps]

"Whatever you do, don't reveal all your techniques in a Youtube video, you fool, you moron" - Sun Tzu, the Art of War

 

[RepresentingPride]

- I have one brain cell left and it's dying.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Invent or use existing quote/proverb be it funny or not. (I have a few funny quotes in the universe of cultivation story, some may be cringe I think? Well lets find who have the more cringe quote too.)


- A wise man once said, 'If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.' And that's how I became a master cultivator.

- The early bird may get the worm, but the late worm doesn't get eaten.

- They say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Well, I took that step and promptly tripped over a rock.

"Better late than never" the last words of every child who thinks they're so smart.
Look before you leap, but squint your eyes when you do it for trust tests (that way they think your eyes are closed)
It takes two to tango... I don't know how to dance, sadly enough.

 

[Sikuati]

"First taste is like heaven. The second one will take you there."

 

[Tempokai]

"If the life doesn't give you lemons, reach for the citric acid and overpower your lemonade with it", Confusionus, probably

 

[Deleted member 84247]

-Endeed!

 

[RepresentingPride]

- I always thought cultivating would be more glamorous, but here I am covered in sweat and dirt.

- I'm not sure what kind of cultivation technique he's using, but it looks like he's just flailing his arms around and hoping for the best.

- I thought I was on the path to enlightenment, but it turns out I was just lost in a really dense fog.

- I used to think that the only thing scarier than a demonic beast was my mother-in-law. Then I met a demonic beast that looked like my mother-in-law.

 

[dummycake]

"Rejection is a part of any man's life. If you can't accept and move past rejection, or at least use it as writing material - you're not a real man."
– Jiraya

 

[Deleted member 84247]

-“Pizza!!”
-Enala Arris

 

[Stealthy_Enigma]

a.if you find yourself in a hole, quit digging
b. even after you stop digging, you're still in a hole

don't squat with your spurs on

Reminds me of when I read this... took a while to find it again.

First Law of Holes: The first step in getting out of the hole your dug for yourself is to stop digging.

Second Law of Holes: If a boss digs himself into a hole, all subordinates are expected to jump in with him.

Third Law of Holes: If a subordinate digs a hole, never expect the boss to jump in with him.

Fourth Law of Holes: If you expect to miss the holes others have left in your path to success, stop looking back at the ones you just climbed out of.

 

[Sola-sama]

 

[MintiLime]

New rule for holes: if the hole you’re in is deep enough, it might be easier just to dig to the other side

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, overfish the waters and lead to ecosystem collapse.

 

[Raymann]

"I cannot remember it clearly, was it 'the best defense is best offense,' or the other way around? Or was it 'the best offense is a good dessert'? Ah, well, in any case, as long as there's dessert involved, I'm on board!" --- #-_-#

 

[TheKillingAlice]

That's a game I can participate in, I believe. Though humor is subjective, of course, they are nothing if not silly at least.
Let me put them in quote boxes, so they are easier to separate.

'He's so gassed up, he needs to drop anchor before he takes off,' was the thought he actually instilled in her, 'he better work on those airplanes while he's up there.'

"What was that sound?"
"I think that's the sound of your brainwaves flatlining."

It works like a piggy bank. You just need to hit it until it's spilling all the money.

"Another metaphor, really?"
"As many as I need, to get you to understand what I'm trying to say without dancing it."

"It's kinda hard to explain."
"Put it in laymen terms."
"... Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff?"
"You're not fucking Dr. Who."
"And you're not Batman."

"Who are you, Mr Woodstock? Why do Vampires always have pretend to be the good person in the room?"
"Me? I'm not the good person in the room. In fact, I'm never a good person, I'm a vampire from a dark dimension", he clarified while getting up, opening his arms to the world, darkening the skies above them with his familiars, "I'm saying, just between you and me, I'm the better person."

Wait, my characters are either all stupid or all mean. I wonder why.

 

[RepresentingPride]

Ok, I stop sharing funny quotes( Are they even funny? No one know!)

- You are either on my side, by my side, or in my fucking way. Choose wisely.

- Scream all you like, no gods can hear you.

- I'm not rude. I just wasn't taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can't stand.