Would you write an autobiography of yourself? (Poll)

[minacia]

This is a sponsored poll

Basically the Magical Girl of You-Must-Publish-This appears in front of you and says that she really wants to see your published autobiography.​

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She wants to see it so badly that she'll pull all sorts of magical strings of fate so that (A) a publisher will definitely accept your manuscript and (B) it will definitely be sold in all the biggest bookstores. You get to keep all the profits as typical for most publishing deals.​

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However, she threatens that you can only write the truth. If you write something that's a lie, bad things will happen to you in the form of a curse.​

1. Would you agree? Why or why not?

2. How much would you include in your autobiography? Is there anything that you would leave out?

3. Do you think your life story would be interesting or popular for readers?

4. If you were allowed to "embellish" your life to make it more interesting, what would you do?

 

[Schwab]

1. Yes, because my life is literally the most interesting thing on the entire planet. Nothing else exists that could be more enticing than my life.

2. Good things. Interesting things. Things like how I slowly broke down after losing my job in construction and slowly fell away to alcohol, eventually causing a divorce between my wife of 18 years. She took everything. The kids, the house, my dignity. She was everything and now she's just gone I can't even-

I'd probably leave out my constant references to bird porn. That's a bit too much for readers.

3. Oh, most definitely. I am indeed the most popular quack-farting butt on the planet.

4. It's entirely impossible for me to do such a thing but if I could...I would. But again, entirely impossible because I'm already such an interesting person, you know?