Would you date someone with a history of cheating?

[Hans.Trondheim]

I date to marry. And my sperm donor (I can't call that man 'father') cheated and destroyed his family for some ugly hag.

So, as I don't want to destroy my child's life, I won't marry/date a cheater.

And no, I can proudly say I never cheated. Tis one of the few things I can boast about myself.

 

[BlissyMKW]

I would not. I already firmly believe those who cheat will only continue to do so, I wouldn't even consider the possibility of dating someone with a history of cheating. Cheating is not an "accidental" thing. It's a conscious decision, and if you're willfully making that decision, why should I ever trust you again?

But also, said history of cheating did not occur when they were a child, but when they were a late teen or older, so there are no excuses you can find to justify or explain why they cheated at the time.

In this scenario, would knowledge of this affect you dating this person? Would you expect to be informed? And if yes, when would you expect to be informed?

It would. I'd likely cut off all contact with this person. Even worse if they're trying to lie or hide the truth.

 

[Macha]

I don't want to destroy my child's life, I won't marry/date a cheater.

I wish more people are like you. No parents should destroy their child's life.

The only one who can destroy a child's life is the child.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

I wish more people are like you. No parents should destroy their child's life.

The only one who can destroy a child's life is the child.

The kid eventually gets to that part where he/she can choose if he/she wants to wreck his/her life.

But not under my watch. Heck, if I can talk my students out of committing suicide, why should I fail with my kids?

And yeah, I just don't want to happen to them what happened to my own family. A lot of parents nowadays fail to understand that once they made a family, it's not 'him' or 'her' anymore. They become 'we', and their happiness should be rooted in raising loving children instead of looking at their kids as future retirement plans.

Sorry I ranted. I'm just really disappointed with how parents my age act these days. They were blessed with their own families, yet they dare to destroy it coz of selfishness. I mean, I want to marry and raise good kids, but at my age and condition, I needed to be realistic. Lol

 

[Macha]

Sorry I ranted. I'm just really disappointed with how parents my age act these days. They were blessed with their own families, yet they dare to destroy it coz of selfishness. I mean, I want to marry and raise good kids, but at my age and condition, I needed to be realistic. Lol

It's okay, but don't it seems weird to you that people who deserve to or desperately desire kids don't get them but terrible parents do? Coincidence? I don't think so. Conspiracy? Maybe.

Spoiler

Hotel? Trivago.

 

[Corty]

Loyalty is my main pet peeve in everything. I respect those who leave a relationship and then start to look for a new one instead of looking for a new one while still in one.

 

[OokamiOkuri]

I already know everything about that person and choose to continue the relationship. I would be more concerned if that person never cheated once in the past.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Loyalty is my main pet peeve in everything. I respect those who leave a relationship and then start to look for a new one instead of looking for a new one while still in one.

I love the last part.

It's okay, but don't it seems weird to you that people who deserve to or desperately desire kids don't get them but terrible parents do? Coincidence? I don't think so. Conspiracy? Maybe.

Spoiler

Hotel? Trivago.

Tis like in Online Games. The more you desire aomething, the less it pops out. Desire meter, as the wise salt lords of old say.

 

[Shiriru_B]

They haven't cheated on you personally, or done anything close to it, even once.
They only did it to their exes in past relationships. And this cheating history was a long time ago. Many years have passed since then.

But also, said history of cheating did not occur when they were a child, but when they were a late teen or older, so there are no excuses you can find to justify or explain why they cheated at the time.

In this scenario, would knowledge of this affect you dating this person? Would you expect to be informed? And if yes, when would you expect to be informed?

No, I wouldn't date someone who has cheated on their "exes" as that's just a red flag, it also seems like they've cheated at least multiple times on different exes, if I'm reading this correctly.

Next I would expect to be informed before anything gets too serious, I don't like being used and I would prefer to break up graciously without my feelings being trampled on.

 

[Viator]

It really depends on who you each are as people. Trust is foundational to anything long lasting. If her past bothers you, but you believe she has matured and is trustworthy now, ask yourself if there is anything you can do as a couple to establish that trust despite the past. I will say going forward that if you know that you have been completely trustworthy, but your partner is consistently paranoid and suspects you of cheating a lot. That is a big red flag. For some reason people who cheat often project their own behaviors onto their partners in exagerated ways. If neither of you can establish a trust in each other as partners it's probably a sign you aren't right for one another in the long run. This is only my opinion, of course.

 

[laccoff_mawning]

From the poll options, it sounds like your expecting me to date a stranger tbh. I wouldn't date a person I wasn't confident of in the first place.

It wouldn't be impossible, so I'll go for option #2, but I don't think it would be very likely.

 

[AncestorDuck]

Let's be honest, nobody is going to admit to cheating beforehand. At least in 90% of the cases.

If I knew beforehand, I wouldn't date such a person. I prefer my mental health over a small "what if" this person changed.

 

[whitesculptor]

Once a cheater always a cheater. People don't change.

 

[DeepWater]

If she doesn't tell you she's a cheater, that makes her a rapist. ?

 

[CharlesEBrown]

If I know they're a serial cheater then no. Otherwise... well, I'm married so still no, but if I weren't, then probably.

 

[Navillus]

Nah no way in hell… I am a very loyal person so I am quite incompatible with people like that-nya.

 

[AncestorDuck]

Nah no way in hell… I am a very loyal person so I am quite incompatible with people like that-nya.

A cat dares to mutter about being loyal?

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

It's okay, but don't it seems weird to you that people who deserve to or desperately desire kids don't get them but terrible parents do? Coincidence? I don't think so. Conspiracy? Maybe.

Spoiler

Hotel? Trivago.

It's because the people who take children and family seriously are more cautious about it.
The one's who don't take it seriously go into it fast and make a mess of things.

 

[Daydreamers]

No, most cheaters are selfish if not all of them and there is no guarantee they won't choose themselves yet again; and worst, I won't be able to fully believe them, even if I want to; so, it’s probably better to avoid such misery for both of us

 

[Deleted member 84247]

No, I would not.