Would like some feedback on a backstory

Which one do you prefer

  • Backstory 1

    Votes: 5 71.4%
  • Backstory 2

    Votes: 2 28.6%

  • Total voters
    7

Gryphon

The One who has the Eyes
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So, I'm writing this short story, and I'm stuck trying to decide one of my characters backstories. They're similar enough that if either happened the the character would remain the same with only minor changed, but different enough that I'm sure readers would react drastically different depending on which one I use. What are your thoughts on both of these potential backstories?

Kan-Yun was born into an impoverished family trying to live day by day. When she was five, she fell and broke her leg. Miraculously to her and her parents, her leg healed immediately. It turned out she had the power of near instantaneous regeneration. The country they lived in oppressed people born with powers as they were given by a demon's hand according to their religious texts. Not wanting to give up their daughter, however, they decided to keep her power hidden.

A few years passed, the family's financial situation grew worse and worse. It got to the point that they didn't have anything nutritious to eat besides bread crumbs for nearly two weeks. Starving and out of options, the parents took a drastic, and most may say an evil, option. Scrounging up old, nearly a year old liquor in a damp moldy cupboard, they forced Kan-Yun to drink it to numb her senses. After, they cut off her arm, only for it to grow back almost immediately. They did it two more times, ignoring her screams and pleas, until there was enough food to eat for the day.

This action of cannibalism went on for nearly a year. Even when they eventually found themselves in a situation to buy an actual meal again, they continued lopping off arm after arm of their own daughter. Eventually, her arm shriveled, turning a nasty gray, her veins pulsing out of her skin and bones thoroughly visible as the skin became slightly translucent. The pain also faded as time marched on; the chop of the blade never even registering in her mind.

Eventually, through a series of circumstances, the family's cannibalism and Kan-Yun's powers were revealed. The parents were arrested and judged for death, and the daughter was about to follow their lead. However, using her power wisely, she managed to escape and has been on the run ever since.
Kan-Yun is a single mother of one little boy of five years of age. She was impregnated by a customer of her night job which she took as a way to get just an extra little bit of money. When she got pregnant, she saw this as a sign from a higher being to restart her life and give her child a life she wished she could have had. She quit her night job, moved to a new place, and set up her life anew.

All of her life, she had been sheltered by her parents, never allowed to go outside or play with the other kids when she was a child. She didn't want the same to happen with her child so maybe he could grow up with a healthier mind. Though they were extremely poor, she vowed to not take up another night job again and live a simple, though mostly stressful life.

One day, however, she broke her leg. With the leg injury, she wouldn't be able to go to her job and support her child. Thinking this and desperately pleading for anyone to help her, her leg miraculously healed itself in a matter of minutes. She discovered that she had the power of regeneration, and in her time of need, it kicked into overdrive. She wanted to keep this a secret since if it was ever discovered, she wouldn't just be killed, but her own little boy would be at risk as well.

She kept it a secret, however, there came a series of horrible luck weeks. Fired from her job, she had to find a new job quickly. The search took way longer than she wanted, and eventually, the family was out of food entirely. Her child's stomach growling in starvation as he hadn't had anything to eat for days echoed in her ear. She came up with a plan.

Kan-Yun cut off her own arm and fed it to her son with a pretext of it being butcher bought meat. Successfully fooling her son, they continued to eat this way until she found a job. Eventually, she managed to find one, however, her arm had become disfigured; gray and shriveled, her veins and bones poking out of her skin. She attempted to hide it, but was eventually discovered. Shortly after, her cannibalism was found out as well as her powers. Her son was taken away and she found herself on the run from the law enforcement of the country.

These are merely summaries of the full backstory, so I left some details out, but this is basically it. I would like to know which one would resonate more with an audience and why.
 

Scaletalon

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Dec 11, 2024
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Tbh, I prefer the 1st one. Plenty of people in history resorted to cannibalism due to lack of food so it does feel realistic. It's also more tragic since she is being eaten alive by her own parents and makes us feel sorry for her and how it will affect her life in the long run.
 

LilRora

Mostly formless
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From a psychological perspective, the second one is way better, though it feels a bit overcomplicated; depending on the setting, there may be a big risk it will be unrealistc. The first is kind of cliché, but it's much simpler and more straightforward, which makes it believable and easy to adjust to any future developments.

For me personally, the first one is better because it gives readers an emotionally simpler, cleaner character, while the second one introduces more and more complex preconceived attachments and relationships, which make the character more distant in a sense (basically, instead of developing together with the character, the readers are lagging behind and have to catch up - it's not inherently a bad thing but the 1st is far easier to relate to; you should choose carefully between the two).

If I was in your place, I would either simplify and/or flesh out the 2nd one and cover any potential plot holes, or modify the 1st one to be less cliché and deeper than just abuse from her perspective.
 
Last edited:

3guanoff

Well-known memoir
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in 1) she is a victim, in 2) she is respectable, enduring pain for her son. I would always choose 2)as there are enough pitiful backstories out there already.
 

TPAB

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Nov 20, 2024
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I personally prefer the first story. If you execute it well enough, the depiction of a mother doing anything for her son is more often much more moving rather than a pitiful person living and trying to find their place in the world. But of course, that's just my personal opinion.
 
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