Prince_Azmiran_Myrian
🐉Religious zealot exhorting Dragons for Jesus🐉
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2022
- Messages
- 2,837
- Points
- 153
This man deserves more likes.
I grew up in a very violent neighborhood. When I say violent, I mean sirens for both police and ambulances were a normal daily occurrence, and it was actually strange to NOT hear them. Where everyone in my friend-group had at least one relative that was murdered, incarcerated, or soon to be.
I say these things so it is understood when I say that I DID NOT understand the general idea of politeness until I reached around 20 years old.
What I mean by this, is that when I was growing up, if someone disliked you, you knew it. They didn't hide it. There was nothing subtle about it. If someone liked you, same thing. Politeness....was a weird gray-space that I wasn't very familiar with. You were friends/allies or you were enemies. Neutral characters were automatically treated with caution and suspicion. If you didn't know them, or knew someone else who knew them and could vouch for them, they were to be kept at arms length and observed from a distance.
If you had to socialize with unknowns/neutrals for some reason, there were unspoken rules. You never invited them to your home, and often enough, not even on the street you lived on. You didn't say the names of any of your own friends or relatives during conversation on the off-chance you sparked a conflict due to being associated with someone the neutral/unknown was an enemy/rival of. You don't give your own full name. Either have a nickname or a fake name for situations like this, but if you must give a first name, its better if it's a common name and nothing unique that can be zeroed in on. When meeting, choose a place both sides know, and are familiar with, but not personally associated with. Never come alone, or if you must, make sure at least two others are aware of where you are going.
There are far more, less obvious tidbits I could give as far as unspoken rules, but my point is that politeness for the sake of it....was not common. I experienced something of a culture shock when I went outside my city to a more rural area for work. People smiling and waving at me that I didn't know and would never know. It sent the alarm bells off in my head so violently that I actually quit my first job and more or less retreated back to my old neighborhood and it wasn't until another year or so before I left home again to find a job elsewhere.
Nowadays, I'm accustomed to casual politeness. The friendly greeting/wave. The nod as you pass by another guy. The smile a random woman might give you. But at first, it perplexed and low-key terrified me. I once actually thought I was going to be ambushed.
I say these things so it is understood when I say that I DID NOT understand the general idea of politeness until I reached around 20 years old.
What I mean by this, is that when I was growing up, if someone disliked you, you knew it. They didn't hide it. There was nothing subtle about it. If someone liked you, same thing. Politeness....was a weird gray-space that I wasn't very familiar with. You were friends/allies or you were enemies. Neutral characters were automatically treated with caution and suspicion. If you didn't know them, or knew someone else who knew them and could vouch for them, they were to be kept at arms length and observed from a distance.
If you had to socialize with unknowns/neutrals for some reason, there were unspoken rules. You never invited them to your home, and often enough, not even on the street you lived on. You didn't say the names of any of your own friends or relatives during conversation on the off-chance you sparked a conflict due to being associated with someone the neutral/unknown was an enemy/rival of. You don't give your own full name. Either have a nickname or a fake name for situations like this, but if you must give a first name, its better if it's a common name and nothing unique that can be zeroed in on. When meeting, choose a place both sides know, and are familiar with, but not personally associated with. Never come alone, or if you must, make sure at least two others are aware of where you are going.
There are far more, less obvious tidbits I could give as far as unspoken rules, but my point is that politeness for the sake of it....was not common. I experienced something of a culture shock when I went outside my city to a more rural area for work. People smiling and waving at me that I didn't know and would never know. It sent the alarm bells off in my head so violently that I actually quit my first job and more or less retreated back to my old neighborhood and it wasn't until another year or so before I left home again to find a job elsewhere.
Nowadays, I'm accustomed to casual politeness. The friendly greeting/wave. The nod as you pass by another guy. The smile a random woman might give you. But at first, it perplexed and low-key terrified me. I once actually thought I was going to be ambushed.
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