Whitephantom
Active member
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2022
- Messages
- 29
- Points
- 43
So I was using this ai to help me practice up on my writing skill till all of a sudden I made this interesting little plot that I think could go somewhere.
It ain’t edited for a actual read since I was just writing purely for the writing pleasure but tell me your opinions on if I should pick this up or what I could do to make it into a tolerable story worth reading.
“The 12 daughters of Jordan, are said to be ruthless to the core, cunning enough to steal a country’s worth of gold, and powerful enough to litterally stop the outter gods alone, all 12 is dangerous as they are evil. By all means, do not wake them” ~ The Book of Proverbius
I read carefully looking at the 12 statues in my presence as I woke up from bed. I mean imagine this, you wake up from a long sound sleep, only to see 12 floating caskets with a damn serious note talking about ‘they can stop the outter gods alone’ l mean like what? And then it states there the ‘daughters of Jordan’ what? No seriously what the fuck does that even mean!! “I have to fucking sleep dammit!” it was late in the mourning and this better be some prank! Like how the fuck these big ass coffins even fit in this small dam room? I looked through the book more to find out the names of these 12 girls or something equally stupid, but all I saw were descriptions of their attributes. They had been born with great power and wisdom, one of them would be the most powerful of the 12 and was known to rule over her own kingdom. One of them is called ‘the queen bee’ for some reason. They all apparently held some name with ‘queen’ in it, like the youngest of the 12 was ‘The Slaughter Queen Rebbecca’ “The fuck! She has that badass name??” I yelled loudly, luckily I’m alone in my home. This shit really freaks me out. It doesn’t help either when this book talks about some other shit like how if you mess around with any of these girls they will take over the world, which, yeah, no shit they did but also who says that literally? Who is trying to scare me with that shit?! And yes, this world now has magic and what not, and yes…I haven’t awakened my abilities yet, but still! This can’t be something that just happens! Then all of a sudden I heard a small thud coming from the far left coffin. I calmed my self immensely, the book is in order of the coffins for some reason so I looked through the book to see the description of the fucking coffin that just made a sound ‘The Queen of Butterflies Renneta, She is a mutated butterfly species that can summon her hoard of butterflies to kill those from afar. The butterfly has a white/blue wings with a golden body. She is a evil blood sucking insect that can transform into a damn human form, she is clever as well-‘ I stopped reading, I’m too shocked to read her damn description “Oh hell no and it MOVED?!”
I screamed again, this time louder than before. Fuck the whole point of this thing is to protect us from evil shit, why is it moving!? If it moves in its sleep and kills me I am going to kick your ass and then take my place there who ever wrote this! I sigh a long long sigh, I get a hammer out the closet and walk up close to the coffin making a sound “ Please don’t move, please don’t move..” I whispered slowly, creaking towards the coffin. I get close enough to the coffin and I swear to gods I heard breathing! Holy shit! I quickly got away from the coffin shaking a little. My heart is pounding so loud in my chest. Is this an illusion? An elaborate game by someone who wants to make fun of me! I don’t know I feel sick to my stomach right now! I then realized that just in case I accidentally wake them up somehow, I should know how to wake them up…’To who ever is reading this, I beg you for the worlds safety don’t FUCKING wake these girls up! The array put on these coffins puts them into a deep sleep until a powerful source of energy hits the array directly for more then a minute, but no one is that powerful nor STUPID to wake these walking disasters up!’ as I was reading the sunlight was beaming at my eyes through the half opened shades, I put the book down to let in more sunlight. “Man the sun sure is bright! I fucking woke up now I’m gonna be sleepy as hell going to work!” then I looked at my sunlight powered phone charger, something clicked in my mind…isn’t the sun a certain powerful source of energy? Yeah…no way the array is weak enough to be broken right? All of the sudden this thick black smog engulfed my entire room completely. It made me cough a lot, hoping it’s not poisonous. “Oh shit shit shit!!!” the sun was beaming directly on the damn coffins! After a couple minutes, I was by my window with my hammer in hand ready! Then one of the coffins made sounds, then anouther, then they all was rumbling making eradic sounds as if they was being beaten with belts. Soon after about a minute in, one opened and I mean god damn was I scared! There was a girl dressed in a very simple green dress, but I could tell she was beautiful through the thick ass smog in the air as I was waving my hand. It cleared and sure enough I was right! Her face was soft and pale, she had blonde hair that was falling all around her head and it’s beautiful! She was stunningly gorgeous! Even though she was covered in dust she stood with a perfect posture, her skin was shining like a pearl and she looks as if a goddess has just descended. She had a glass bottle type of body too! Plump in the chest and ass with a slim waist! But I know better. This bitch ain’t the type to look like some princess in the fairy tale! She had this dense aura around her, then the others came out of the coffins. Oh fuck oh shit oh fuck what the fuck! They each have a different set of powers, to what the book stated anyway. The first one is the same size as the second girl coming out, but not nearly as suppressive as the first one coming out, which I assume was the Queen bee, which made I really don’t wanna die to! I thought. Next to be out came three women, one was tall and thin, another was short and fat, and the last one was quite…skinny. Like I’m not joking, she was litterally like a generic woman. Slim, blandly beautiful…nothing too much nothing too less. Her hair was black, like very dark. Her eyes was…let’s just leave it as unpleasant. She was wearing a red dress with a golden belt and a crown on her head. She looked like a queen, but she didn’t seem to be…looking like a royal type of person you know? She looked at me with disdain written on her face. “ Who art thou?” she spoke crudely “Uhhhh…” I was so scared I just mind blanked hard, so I tried to talk “ uh, I! uh…M-My name is Ishiki.” I said stuttering like the lousy man I was. The woman looked me up and down then back at the other girls coming out of the coffins
It ain’t edited for a actual read since I was just writing purely for the writing pleasure but tell me your opinions on if I should pick this up or what I could do to make it into a tolerable story worth reading.
“The 12 daughters of Jordan, are said to be ruthless to the core, cunning enough to steal a country’s worth of gold, and powerful enough to litterally stop the outter gods alone, all 12 is dangerous as they are evil. By all means, do not wake them” ~ The Book of Proverbius
I read carefully looking at the 12 statues in my presence as I woke up from bed. I mean imagine this, you wake up from a long sound sleep, only to see 12 floating caskets with a damn serious note talking about ‘they can stop the outter gods alone’ l mean like what? And then it states there the ‘daughters of Jordan’ what? No seriously what the fuck does that even mean!! “I have to fucking sleep dammit!” it was late in the mourning and this better be some prank! Like how the fuck these big ass coffins even fit in this small dam room? I looked through the book more to find out the names of these 12 girls or something equally stupid, but all I saw were descriptions of their attributes. They had been born with great power and wisdom, one of them would be the most powerful of the 12 and was known to rule over her own kingdom. One of them is called ‘the queen bee’ for some reason. They all apparently held some name with ‘queen’ in it, like the youngest of the 12 was ‘The Slaughter Queen Rebbecca’ “The fuck! She has that badass name??” I yelled loudly, luckily I’m alone in my home. This shit really freaks me out. It doesn’t help either when this book talks about some other shit like how if you mess around with any of these girls they will take over the world, which, yeah, no shit they did but also who says that literally? Who is trying to scare me with that shit?! And yes, this world now has magic and what not, and yes…I haven’t awakened my abilities yet, but still! This can’t be something that just happens! Then all of a sudden I heard a small thud coming from the far left coffin. I calmed my self immensely, the book is in order of the coffins for some reason so I looked through the book to see the description of the fucking coffin that just made a sound ‘The Queen of Butterflies Renneta, She is a mutated butterfly species that can summon her hoard of butterflies to kill those from afar. The butterfly has a white/blue wings with a golden body. She is a evil blood sucking insect that can transform into a damn human form, she is clever as well-‘ I stopped reading, I’m too shocked to read her damn description “Oh hell no and it MOVED?!”
I screamed again, this time louder than before. Fuck the whole point of this thing is to protect us from evil shit, why is it moving!? If it moves in its sleep and kills me I am going to kick your ass and then take my place there who ever wrote this! I sigh a long long sigh, I get a hammer out the closet and walk up close to the coffin making a sound “ Please don’t move, please don’t move..” I whispered slowly, creaking towards the coffin. I get close enough to the coffin and I swear to gods I heard breathing! Holy shit! I quickly got away from the coffin shaking a little. My heart is pounding so loud in my chest. Is this an illusion? An elaborate game by someone who wants to make fun of me! I don’t know I feel sick to my stomach right now! I then realized that just in case I accidentally wake them up somehow, I should know how to wake them up…’To who ever is reading this, I beg you for the worlds safety don’t FUCKING wake these girls up! The array put on these coffins puts them into a deep sleep until a powerful source of energy hits the array directly for more then a minute, but no one is that powerful nor STUPID to wake these walking disasters up!’ as I was reading the sunlight was beaming at my eyes through the half opened shades, I put the book down to let in more sunlight. “Man the sun sure is bright! I fucking woke up now I’m gonna be sleepy as hell going to work!” then I looked at my sunlight powered phone charger, something clicked in my mind…isn’t the sun a certain powerful source of energy? Yeah…no way the array is weak enough to be broken right? All of the sudden this thick black smog engulfed my entire room completely. It made me cough a lot, hoping it’s not poisonous. “Oh shit shit shit!!!” the sun was beaming directly on the damn coffins! After a couple minutes, I was by my window with my hammer in hand ready! Then one of the coffins made sounds, then anouther, then they all was rumbling making eradic sounds as if they was being beaten with belts. Soon after about a minute in, one opened and I mean god damn was I scared! There was a girl dressed in a very simple green dress, but I could tell she was beautiful through the thick ass smog in the air as I was waving my hand. It cleared and sure enough I was right! Her face was soft and pale, she had blonde hair that was falling all around her head and it’s beautiful! She was stunningly gorgeous! Even though she was covered in dust she stood with a perfect posture, her skin was shining like a pearl and she looks as if a goddess has just descended. She had a glass bottle type of body too! Plump in the chest and ass with a slim waist! But I know better. This bitch ain’t the type to look like some princess in the fairy tale! She had this dense aura around her, then the others came out of the coffins. Oh fuck oh shit oh fuck what the fuck! They each have a different set of powers, to what the book stated anyway. The first one is the same size as the second girl coming out, but not nearly as suppressive as the first one coming out, which I assume was the Queen bee, which made I really don’t wanna die to! I thought. Next to be out came three women, one was tall and thin, another was short and fat, and the last one was quite…skinny. Like I’m not joking, she was litterally like a generic woman. Slim, blandly beautiful…nothing too much nothing too less. Her hair was black, like very dark. Her eyes was…let’s just leave it as unpleasant. She was wearing a red dress with a golden belt and a crown on her head. She looked like a queen, but she didn’t seem to be…looking like a royal type of person you know? She looked at me with disdain written on her face. “ Who art thou?” she spoke crudely “Uhhhh…” I was so scared I just mind blanked hard, so I tried to talk “ uh, I! uh…M-My name is Ishiki.” I said stuttering like the lousy man I was. The woman looked me up and down then back at the other girls coming out of the coffins
