Unreliable Biased Feedback

[Macha]

bruh you have nothing posted

You need more eyes. Eat slugs.

 

[greyblob]

You need more eyes. Eat slugs.

what am I missing

 

[Deleted member 57675]

what am I missing

Nothing really. From one fellow procrastinator to another, hello. XD
Here to waste seconds of your time to help you as you delay responsibilities.

 

[Zirrboy]

You need more eyes. Eat slugs.

Macha irl:

 

[greyblob]

Nothing really. From one fellow procrastinator to another, hello. XD
Here to waste seconds of your time to help you as you delay responsibilities.

thank you. i appreciate it, truly

 

[Deleted member 57675]

thank you. i appreciate it, truly

np. someday, someday...
its either that or the emergence of blobfish fanf...jk
anyhow, have fun procrastinating.

 

[greyblob]

emergence of blobfish fanf- smackdown.

do not speak those cursed words again..

 

[Macha]

what am I missing

Insight.

Macha irl:

 

[greyblob]

one of these is smut. one of these isn't. pick one,

Kapal

Something tore the old world apart. Nobody knows what, when, why, or how. All that's left are dried remnants of the past and the birth of a new, savage, cruel world. Subjek woke up right at the cusp of a turning age for this desolate landscape; two roaring factions vying...

www.scribblehub.com

The Problem Store

There was a guy who went by the name of Guy. He lives in a World, and has many stories to tell about it. Stories of relationships, indulgence, brotherhood, reconciliation, women, and skinship. Especially women and skinship. Guy has a lot of stories about women and skinship. You may or...

www.scribblehub.com

I picked Kapal

4.5/5: Great with a few flaws

It was a fun ride. The story is interesting and progresses smoothly, and the characters felt alive and animated. The scenes were painted nicely but often came in large chucky paragraphs and I honestly skipped more than a few.
The action at the start was very confusing, and hearing "the man something" was disorienting and got stale quickly, especially after knowing their names. The guards were the weakest characters imo - felt unnecessarily aggressive and a bit robotic. Also very rarely some of the characters spoke or acted uncharacteristically.
That's it. I'd have liked to see more. I was also looking forward for my boy slashing in the big fight.

also have you drawn MC's chest or face? I'd like to see the drawings if you have.

 

[BenJepheneT]

also have you drawn MC's chest or face? I'd like to see the drawings if you have.

It's been a while since I've drawn Subjek. I should be updating his look pretty soon, so take this as more of a visual concept than an actual piece.

 

[greyblob]

It's been a while since I've drawn Subjek. I should be updating his look pretty soon, so take this as more of a visual concept than an actual piece.

Thought the hatch and screen would be bigger and more rectangular. thanks

 

[BenJepheneT]

Thought the hatch and screen would be bigger and more rectangular. thanks

It is rectangular; it's just embedded into the chest, though I should've done a better job depicting that.

 

[greyblob]

Worldview

25 year old Aksel Liebert is thrown into a new world where Earth is dominated by a new system demanding each being take part in the 'scenarios'. Inspired by Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint.

www.scribblehub.com

Chapter 8
3/5: Average

I don't have much to offer here. It's a generic system apocalypse that failed to intrest me. The only thing to note is that you sometimes fail to use the right right word/expression.

 

[greyblob]

I'd really appreciate the feedback and welcome all the constructive criticisms.
Here's my novel~

Being A Mage Is Boring, So I Created A Class For Myself

'This fucking world…sigh…' Tsuriyama Ryoki had an eye-opening experience, betrayed by the close ones he grew up with. It matured him, realizing how fucked up the reality is. He no longer remained the happy go lucky kid, creating a thick wall around himself. 'If only I could be...

www.scribblehub.com

this is an odd one. I'm not a fan of the LN style writing and I really dislike the MC.

Chapter 12
5 Kirito /5 Shonen MCs

I think this is one of the highest quality LN styled novels I've read (I don't read much of them and most are horseshit).
The writing is simple and easy to digest. The characters are animated and expressive. I'm 100% sure if you added more fan service, a harem, and released chapters more consistently, you'd have four times your current readers.
Anyways, keep doing you - you've got the formula right.

 

[BluePheasant]

this is an odd one. I'm not a fan of the LN style writing and I really dislike the MC.

Chapter 12
5 Kirito /5 Shonen MCs

I think this is one of the highest quality LN styled novels I've read (I don't read much of them and most are horseshit).
The writing is simple and easy to digest. The characters are animated and expressive. I'm 100% sure if you added more fan service, a harem, and released chapters more consistently, you'd have four times your current readers.
Anyways, keep doing you - you've got the formula right.

Thanks a lot for the feedback... Yes, my story leans more toward the Japanese LN style. And I'll try to do what you have suggested.

 

[greyblob]

Thanks a lot for the feedback... Yes, my story leans more toward the Japanese LN style. And I'll try to do what you have suggested.

this isn't a suggestion just a remark. probably shouldn't drastically alter your novel on my whims

 

[ZeroX0666]

Since most feedback threads are dead right now, and I'm trying to ignore/delay my responsibilities I have some free time, I decided on making my own.

This will be from the viewpoint of a simple-minded reader with an increasingly short attention span. I'll read until I lose interest.

Requirements:

1. 10k+ words

Restrictions:

1. Gender bender and all its subgenres (unless it's a genderless monster)
2. Girls-love
3. Boys-love

wild my work surely doesn't fit this

 

[greyblob]

wild my work surely doesn't fit this

>girlslove

 

[ZeroX0666]

>girlslove

:)

 

[Nhatduongg]

Oh yea why not post it here too

The girl who liked to collect everything

Mai was a girl who would hoard everything in her house, she also had a habit of using the bare minimum to do the job. Like when she was hungry, she would never go and buy food. Instead, she leeched on others’ meals. But all that does not matter anymore...

www.scribblehub.com