Writing [Tutorial] Objective Correlative (The Core Tool of Show, Don't Tell)

[Macha]

Alright, so you know that writing rule "show, don't tell"? There's a fancy term for the best tool to do that called the Objective Correlative.

Don't just tell me a character is sad. Show me the things that make up that sadness. Use a set of objects, a scene, or a chain of events that make readers feel the emotion without you ever naming it when they sees them.

Telling:

"Hoshino felt lonely and forgotten."

Showing with an Objective Correlative:

"On the kitchen table, Hoshino's plate sat covered in plastic wrap. A single birthday card from his dentist leaned against the toaster. Outside, the neighbor's laughter echoed through his closed window."

See? You used objects (the wrapped plate, the dentist card), sounds (distant laughter), and a situation (sitting alone). You didn't say "lonely," but those details makes the reader feel it directly.

This is how you use it:
1. Identify the emotion you want the reader to feel.
2. Brainstorm the "stuff" attached to that feeling.
3. Put those details together in a scene.
4. Let the reader's brain do the work of feeling the emotion.
5. If the reader has no brain or they are a sociopathic psychopath who can't feel emotion like my mom, then all of this is pointless.

Why am I writing this? Because someone said my writing reads like AI. That's like saying T.S. Eliot who popularized this in 1919 is AI. Now your writing can reads like AI too!

Hope this helps!

 

[foxes]

Without a character's perspective or even a hint of their perception, it's just a "dead" description. If there's no better option, I would combine these. "Show" doesn't mean dismissing the character's immediate feelings.

"The morning was too bright to leave unattended. But Hoshino stood by the toaster, staring at the single postcard from the dentist. The neighbor's laughter, filtering through the wall, seemed like a recording from a different time, where she was still a part of something."

In general, this advice seems harmful to me. It makes it difficult to write concisely and succinctly. Feelings themselves can be expressed through a plot event rather than a separate description. Sometimes, direct "telling" enhances the impact.

"She was alone. Really alone, for the first time in twenty years."

Hemingway is a master of "showing," but even he sometimes writes, "He was lonely." And it works. Good prose is a balance between showing and telling.

If a character lost their family in a disaster, we don't need to "show" their loneliness through a postcard by the toaster. The event itself already conveys an emotion.

 

[Macha]

Without a character's perspective or even a hint of their perception, it's just a "dead" description. If there's no better option, I would combine these. "Show" doesn't mean dismissing the character's immediate feelings.

"The morning was too bright to leave unattended. But Hoshino stood by the toaster, staring at the single postcard from the dentist. The neighbor's laughter, filtering through the wall, seemed like a recording from a different time, where she was still a part of something."

In general, this advice seems harmful to me. It makes it difficult to write concisely and succinctly. Feelings themselves can be expressed through a plot event rather than a separate description. Sometimes, direct "telling" enhances the impact.

"She was alone. Really alone, for the first time in twenty years."

Hemingway is a master of "showing," but even he sometimes writes, "He was lonely." And it works. Good prose is a balance between showing and telling.

If a character lost their family in a disaster, we don't need to "show" their loneliness through a postcard by the toaster. The event itself already conveys an emotion.

Exactly. Moderation is key. I have a guide about that too. This also applies to every concepts in writing.

Writing - [Tutorial] Stop Overusing Drugs

Rhetorical devices are great. They add punch, rhythm, and sparkle. But when you use one in every sentence, they stop being clever and start being cringe. This guide is about moderation. Because the difference between a cure and a poison is usually the dose. Every Gu cultivator learns this early...

forum.scribblehub.com

 

[foxes]

I would rather think about what led the writer to such a dilemma. Perhaps the problem is not in this text, but in what came before it. The "show or tell" dilemma almost never occurs within a single sentence on its own. It is a symptom of a deeper problem in the narrative structure. If there was no breakup in the text, no ignoring by loved ones, and no unanswered attempts to communicate, then neither a postcard from the dentist nor cold tea will elicit the desired response from the reader. Etc.

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

Today I learned that T.S. Eliot was an AI.

 

[Eldoria]

Well, my advice might be a bit off-base. But I don't make the principle of "show it, don't tell it" absolute in all fictional narratives. Showing it provides immersion and makes the world and characters feel alive.

But, sometimes telling it is not wrong either. Tell it can be used in several situations, including:

(1) Summarizing the previous plot to explain the context in the new chapter. Why?

Because often web novel readers do not read from chapter 1 but randomly and reactively, usually clicking directly to the latest chapter. The summary will provide a complete picture of the plot and conflict.

(2) Speeding up the pacing to avoid repeating daily routines. For example, telling a time skip with "several years later...", "Days turned into weeks, Harry was still busy filing homework...", etc.

(3) Thickening the tension and emotions of the characters after the depiction of an intense scene. For example:

Harry curled up under the wheat straw. His mouth covered with his palm. His breath held as the wolf monster passed the wheat barn.

"Aaauuu..." A howling sound shrieked.

When the sound faded. Harry removed his palm. His shoulders did not stop shaking.

"My friend... I'm sorry-" he said softly, shedding tears.

His friend had just been killed by a wolf monster, leaving him alone to survive.

The key is to use the principle of tell it or show it flexibly and proportionally. A good story is one that lives in the reader's mind.

 

[Louhi]

Why is @Hoshino feeling lonely and forgotten?

 

[unlaumy]

Wanted to try a paragraph from the first example and using objects, but I don't want Hoshino to catch a stray, so I changed the name:

Sarah didn't have a room that could be proud of. It had a just enough space. Just enough for her small bedframe, just enough for her study desk, and she so wished for more steel nails stabbed into the wall for her used clothes to hang on. She used the not so much leftover space as a never-ending walk path. To the door, to the window, to the door, to the window. Strands of brown hair scattering on the floor. She heard those people talking through the door and thin wall. Their hushed tone made her wonder if they were talking about her. When they laughed too loud, there was this painful sting in her ears. Those people were her family, and her ceramic floor was cold. Her feet were sore and cold from all the circling. Sarah didn't know if she deserved to claim this emotion: this forgotten shape and its lonely feeling.

 

[Eldoria]

Sarah didn't have a room that could be proud of. It had a just enough space. Just enough for her small bedframe, just enough for her study desk, and she so wished for more steel nails stabbed into the wall for her used clothes to hang on. She used the not so much leftover space as a never-ending walk path. To the door, to the window, to the door, to the window. Strands of brown hair scattering on the floor. She heard those people talking through the door and thin wall. Their hushed tone made her wonder if they were talking about her. When they laughed too loud, there was this painful sting in her ears. Those people were her family, and her ceramic floor was cold. Her feet were sore and cold from all the circling. Sarah didn't know if she deserved to claim this emotion: this forgotten shape and its lonely feeling.

Giant paragraph?! My eyes are burning... arrgghh-

 

[Macha]

Why is @Hoshino feeling lonely and forgotten?

He lives in Korea.

Wanted to try a paragraph from the first example and using objects, but I don't want Hoshino to catch a stray, so I changed the name:

Aren't you and Louhi the same person?