Trivial considerations on good writing: Show, don’t tell.

[MatchaChocolate69]

While I wait for PoE2 to download, here are some simple considerations about good writing that crossed my mind today.

Writing well means saying things in the most indirect way possible, avoiding exposition at all costs.

The "show, don't tell" principle is the classic advice given to beginners: a mantra repeated endlessly in the educational world, where complex concepts are simplified into easily memorized notions.

It is, in fact, good advice, but it should be expanded upon and fully understood rather than applied literally in every situation.

Here’s an example of execution of "show, don’t tell." Apologies if it’s not perfect. I threw it together in a few minutes just for reference.

• Lisa is sad because her father died. (tell)
• The girl groans and trembles. A tear slips from her left eye, rolling down her reddened cheek before falling onto her dress—an azure maid’s uniform—leaving a wet stain on the fabric. Her pale hands shake as they clutch the silver-framed photo. In her glossy eyes, the reflection of the photo becomes visible: a bald man with a beard, whose features resemble the girl’s. Another tear wells up beneath her right eye. She sobs, then places the photo frame on the counter with a moan. She brings her hands to her eyes and, between sobs, rubs them, trying to wipe away the tears that keep streaming. One tear escapes her rubbing and slides down her reddened face before falling onto the golden badge pinned to her uniform, just above her heart. The droplet bounces off the metal, engraved with the name “Lisa.” (Show)

You see how costly it is to write in this way. The catch is that it should be used at the right moment—when you want to highlight specific details or emphasize a particular scene—because it can become overwhelming, especially for the reader.

You risk creating the "artsy French cinema" effect (and I’m exaggerating here; they’re not all like that). The kind of snobbish, artistic, nose-in-the-air films that receive thunderous applause at Cannes but are only watched by the actors’ and director’s relatives afterward...

I’m talking about extreme slowness, dead air, static shots, prolonged gazes, and awkward silences. Characters speaking few words, with plenty of facial expressions from which the audience is expected to infer all the subtext. As I’ve said, this can work in specific scenes and contexts, but an entire work in this style is exhausting, especially if the goal is to entertain.

All of this is to say:
You should neither overestimate nor underestimate your reader. You need to make them work because they have the tools to fill in what’s unsaid, but the process should be enjoyable for them, not a chore. And this is where good writing comes into play: finding the perfect balance between show and tell.

I told you it was mundane...

Sometimes, if it’s not crucial, it’s perfectly fine to just write, Lisa is sad because her father died.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

 

[LilRora]

I don't like your example. You're kinda making it look like showing requires a lot more words, while most of the time it can be comfortably fit into a similar length of text. Longer telling is an extremely useful tool when we want to convey specific detail.

Something like "[...] Lisa shuffled to her seat, head hanging low, and only shook her head in response." is a perfectly valid example of showing. There's not nearly as much information there as in your example, but it's generally enough.

Other than that, yup. Show in moderation. The amount of details should be adjusted dynamically depending on style, tone, and situation so that the pace is appropriate for the events, all the way from minimal, concise sentences for fast combat to lengthy, detailed descriptions of important static scenes.

 

[MatchaChocolate69]

I don't like your example. You're kinda making it look like showing requires a lot more words, while most of the time it can be comfortably fit into a similar length of text. Longer telling is an extremely useful tool when we want to convey specific detail.

Yes, you're right, the example wasn’t the best, but I wanted to show the two extremes to clearly illustrate, as always, that the truth lies somewhere in the middle. As you said, these are tools that can be used. "Show, don’t tell" could roughly be translated as "Screwdriver, not hammer." Sometimes, you need the hammer too.

 

[Story_Marc]

Man, if only there was some smart and handsome writer who has already tackled this beyond surface-level observations...