Torn Asunder (A Poem)

[Deleted member 84247]

Torn asunder, divided by hatred once more.
A blunder of our species, animosity to the core.
We look on to our loved ones and our brethren,
But with such abhorrence, how do we reach heaven?

Torn asunder, by the way of insults and curses.
This is the result of our betters who coerce us.
Wrapped around a spindle, so we are led.
Flames of revolution dwindle by the lies we are fed.

Torn asunder, we look on at the chaos of inaction.
Like a can of sardines we are all packed in.
This system we call “humanity’s nature”.
This is all a prelude, or so I’d wager.

Torn asunder, we reach the great divide.
Ideologies that do not fit, and so they collide.
Torn asunder, as they are pulled apart.
This is the blunder of the human heart.

 

[georgelee5786]

nice

 

[Kraken1]

Very good En chan.

 

[MarukiLikesMikey]

Very nice poem :>>>>> In fact, that inspires me to write a weirdcore themed poem.
Everything is fine, I tell myself
but the eyes always watch through the window

This house is decreppid, everything broken and unrecognizable...
I explore through it, seeing the eyes and shadow people stalk me as I take every step.

I told myself everything would be fine and id make it out... of this...dimension...
but how I lie, lie, lie...

Now I am in a very familiar but unsettling place from my childhood...a... OH GO-
*static*

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Use condom next time.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Use condom next time.

This is an obsession!

 

[RepresentingCaution]

This is an obsession!

Honestly, getting a second-degree tear was a pretty big relief to me. I'd take getting torn asunder over getting cut asunder by a C-section any day. Seriously, I hopped right off that bed and walked myself to the toilet within minutes of giving birth. Since I fought tooth and nail to avoid a C-section by keeping my blood sugar under control so my fetus wouldn't get too big, and I'm not ready to repeat that fight yet, condoms are very important.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Honestly, getting a second-degree tear was a pretty big relief to me. I'd take getting torn asunder over getting cut asunder by a C-section any day. Seriously, I hopped right off that bed and walked myself to the toilet within minutes of giving birth. Since I fought tooth and nail to avoid a C-section by keeping my blood sugar under control so my fetus wouldn't get too big, and I'm not ready to repeat that fight yet, condoms are very important.

This is why I will never have kids, among other reasons. It is too terrifying

 

[RepresentingCaution]

This is why I will never have kids, among other reasons. It is too terrifying

That is a very good choice!

Raising them is even more terrifying than having them. At first, you worry about every little rash and spot they develop. Then, they start climbing on things and you're terrified of them cracking their skulls if they fall because the little maggots have wormed their way into your heart.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Torn asunder, divided by hatred one more

I'd go with Once more, not one more.

Torn asunder, divided by hatred ONCE more

This implies this is an on going event where there has been sundering in the past. This is a cycle of events that is about to begin anew.


or if you insist on "one more", include a comma.

Torn asunder, divided by hatred, one more.

Which would then imply that this is happening to a group of people, and that you are about to sunder 'One More'.

One has the weight of history, the other implies a certain level of immediacy, but is a new process.

As is, it is confusing. Something is Divided by 'Hatred One More' which could be the name of a really edgy emo band, but just doesn't make sense grammatically in this context.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

I'd go with Once more, not one more.

This implies this is an on going event where there has been sundering in the past. This is a cycle of events that is about to begin anew.


or if you insist on "one more", include a comma.

Which would then imply that this is happening to a group of people, and that you are about to sunder 'One More'.

One has the weight of history, the other implies a certain level of immediacy, but is a new process.

As is, it is confusing. Something is Divided by 'Hatred One More' which could be the name of a really edgy emo band, but just doesn't make sense grammatically in this context.

Thank you. It was a typo

 

[RavenRunes]

I was torn asunder once. Never climbed another barb wire fence in my life again.