Thoughts on how to improve my synopsis, and what you think of what I already have.

SeeCee

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Title: How Spartans Are Made

"In Sparta, we were taken from our homes as children and raised in the Agoge. We marched or we drowned. Fought for scraps or starved. Our elders beat us 'til we could not stand. At night we made our way home, alone; or were food for the wolves." Kratos, Sparta's God Of War.

His parents murdered by Persian spies, a bitter, weak and lifeless Athenian boy, Socrates, is picked up by a Noble Spartan Household out of pity and is adopted into an unfamiliar Spartan lifestyle.

Unfortunately, there is a cost for his adoption; he must become a Spartan Warrior.

Thirsting for revenge for his parent's death at the hands of the Persian King, he willingly enrolls in the Spartan Agoge, which trains boys into Spartan Warrior Men; but there are many within who are malcontent with his existence within Sparta, especially his classmates who are not unwilling to give him a very bad time.
 

Ararara

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Sounds good to me! The only thing I'd change is to shorten the sentences. Turn at least two or three of the commas (especially the dreaded semicolon) into normal periods. Sentences that are too long are harder to read and understand.~

I like how your description packs a punch and isn't overly long!
 

SeeCee

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Sounds good to me! The only thing I'd change is to shorten the sentences. Turn at least two or three of the commas (especially the dreaded semicolon) into normal periods. Sentences that are too long are harder to read and understand.~
Do you have something against Mr. Semicolon? He's crying cause of you.
I like how your description packs a punch and isn't overly long!
Thank you, I've been reading a lotta Ancient Rome novels lately, it's synopsis style rubbed into me lmao
 
D

Deleted member 93348

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Wow… the synopsis was a lot better than I expected! I legit imagined Gaia saying it line-by-line, but the end didn't really fit with her formal narration style, lol. That’s a good thing, though, because it means you have your own style.
 
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