Thoughts about this non-smut chapter?

[Arilia]

I mostly have experience writing romance/smut, not action or drama, so I'd love to hear any thoughts you have about this chapter!

Refuge 2.1: Beginning of the End

This occurs after the characters were introduced in earlier chapters, but that probably won't be necessary to understand what's going on here.

I think the opening dialogue is a bit weak, in particular. I think my writing gets stronger once the characters are on the road. Maybe I need to ditch the current opening and rewrite for a different scene/setting that could start things off better? I'm not sure.

 

[StoneInky]

I agree the writing gets stronger once the characters are on the road. Before that, there's a bunch of paragraphs that only consist of one or two words, and I just don't like the pacing.

Ditching the opening, though? Hm... I'm not sure either. If it were me, I would attempt to edit the opening to get the pacing right; and I'll only ditch it for something different if it still doesn't work, even after I edit.

Good luck, lmao.

 

[Arilia]

I agree the writing gets stronger once the characters are on the road. Before that, there's a bunch of paragraphs that only consist of one or two words, and I just don't like the pacing.

Ditching the opening, though? Hm... I'm not sure either. If it were me, I would attempt to edit the opening to get the pacing right; and I'll only ditch it for something different if it still doesn't work, even after I edit.

Good luck, lmao.

Thank you for pointing out the pacing issue! I'll think it over, and see what I can do to rewrite the opening.