Thinking of writing a story, Any Opinions on my premise?

[Comatoast]

I've written a story here before but pestered out due to a lack of solid structure and purpose.

With renewed vigor, I'm back to write out a vision that I've had and I'm excited to try to write toward whatever niche may genuinely like to listen!

Here is the Premise;
Man has created a Mega-Country called Utopia but nature is coming back to punish their hubris.
A cosmic force known as the Hive has arisen, Representing the repression of nature and its extraordinary adaptability in a new, Sanitized modern terrain.
The Hive is not a physical being, Or at least it wasn't until Man began to produce it's own natural resources like Water, Oxygen and Bacterias, Rendering nature obsolete and Wiping it to near extinction.

Nature's order has been condensed so much that it has manifested physically offers the gift of Superhuman abilities to those willing to tear up society and restore the balance.

In response to the sudden apocalyptic outbreak of plants and superhuman hybrids, The government created a branch of enforces known as Terminators who are sent to extinguish all anomalous life using futuristic weapons coated in a bio-engineered Anti-Bacteria designed to counteract the Hive's immense healing factors and adaptability.

The protagonist is an Ex-Terminator who is a Hive Sympathyzer and the story opens with his public execution alongside all the others captured in a night raid.

Any ideas, Comments or if you'd like to see this story?

 

[MarekSusicky]

I have a few thoughts.

Starting with the execution is a ... brave hook! It immediately grabs attention and raises questions like 'Why is this happening?' However, it might limit initial character development. What if the story begins with the protagonist still working as a Terminator? You could foreshadow their eventual sympathies with the Hive, maybe they hesitate during a mission, witness something that changes them, or form a connection with someone tied to the Hive. How it all started? The betrayal leading to their capture could add tension and depth. Was it a trusted comrade in the Terminator force who leaked the meeting? Or just random someone? That betrayal could become a key emotional hook! And create a concrete specific antagonist than "evil Terminator bad".

This technology needs serious energy consumption. Without natural resources, where does this energy come from? Fusion? Dyson Sphere? Hope so, nature is super efficient, so without it... Not even type I civ could do it, I think.

I hope there are limits to the Hive's "gifts", and the energy to fuel the abilities is some magic mumbo-jumbo and not calories xD, because how can you battle someone healing as you tear them down? Poor Terminators!

 

[Carrigan2121]

add KFC to your story

 

[wresch]

I also like the idea of starting with an execution. And I like the general situation. My one concern? Character development. I want to care about the characters I am reading about. I think you have thought seriously about the situation in this world. It is an interesting world. Now make me care if people live or die.

 

[Comatoast]

I also like the idea of starting with an execution. And I like the general situation. My one concern? Character development. I want to care about the characters I am reading about. I think you have thought seriously about the situation in this world. It is an interesting world. Now make me care if people live or die.

The idea is that the main character isn't actually loveable.
The character is able to be sympathized with but isn't a hero and will hurt people and make poor decisions and it's made very clear by the opening sequence.
I'm not sure if I should write it though because a lot of people in Authors General said my idea wasn't good or well thought out at all.