Writing The thing with pronouns

[Racosharko]

Do you have any tips or techniques or thoughts on how to avoid confusing narrative when multiple people have the same pronouns?

E.g.
Just randomly wrote some narration with lot of him and he.
----
Dave charged his opponent, and he kneed him in the stomach, in return he tackles him, both fell kicking and screaming. Quickly he got up and kicked the man then started to rain punches on him.
-----

You get the idea

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Do you have and tips or techniques or thoughts on how to avoid confusing narrative when multiple people have the same pronouns?

E.g.
Just randomly wrote some narration with lot of him and he.
----
Dave charged his opponent, and he kneed him in the stomach, in return he tackles him, both fell kicking and screaming. Quickly he got up and kicked the man then started to rain punches on him.
-----

You get the idea

Using names is the most effective method that I have found. Sometimes clarity is crucial.

 

[Cardon]

Look for ways to cut down on their usage without losing clarity, use names, use descriptions.

For example

Dave charged his opponent, and he kneed him in the stomach, in return he got tackled, and both fell kicking and screaming. Quickly he got up and kicked the man then started to rain punches on him.

 

[Eldoria]

Do you have and tips or techniques or thoughts on how to avoid confusing narrative when multiple people have the same pronouns?

Use identity to differentiate characters. I usually insert one unique trait as a narrative guide and a reader's compass. For example, the commander's violet eyes dimmed when an idealistic knight protested the city's destruction.

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

I also have certain speech patterns I will use with a few characters.

Like this old paladin calls my MC Lad, a lot.

doesn't need to be anything fancy, just as long as there is something indicating who is who.

 

[just_darkjazz]

As was mentioned above using names is the most effectrive method, though the repetition can be grating. Try pepering in descriptors about the characters. Their hair color for example, or their dress, or their job description. I've also seen mixing and matching first and last names to be effective, but I've not cracked that code yet.

 

[melchi]

The problem I think is not pronouns with this paragraph but the paragraphing itself.

1.) Each character in an action scene gets their own paragraph.
2.) Only put the actions of one character in that paragraph.

EX:

Dave charged his opponent, and he kneed him in the stomach

in return [Insert character name] tackled Dave, both fell kicking and screaming.

Dave got up and kicked the man then started to rain punches on him.

Action scenes should be like turns in an RPG. (Player 1 does x) (player 2 does x) (Monsters do ___ ) or whatever, don't mix them otherwise it makes it hard to read.

 

[Rachel_Leia_Cole]

Names are the easiest way. Or description. Like who is the man? Any identifying characteristics? Sometimes you can add those between pronouns so you won’t repeat them so close together.

 

[Envylope]

Put the subject as early on in the sentence as possible, and keep the subject in front for when they do something. Break down the sentences into their most basic parts.

Dave charged his opponent, and he kneed him in the stomach, in return he tackles him, both fell kicking and screaming. Quickly he got up and kicked the man then started to rain punches on him.

Dave charged his opponent. He kneed him in the stomach. The opponent tackled him. Both fell kicking and screaming. He got up. The kicked man rained punches on him.

Alright, you have a basic idea, and you put the subjects at the start of sentences.

Dave charged his opponent and kneed him in the stomach. The opponent tackled him to the ground and both fell kicking and screaming. Dave stood with his opponent, and the angry man rained punches on him.

Though, personally I dislike this. I prefer putting actors in separate paragraphs anytime I am doing action sequences. It would be more like this.

Dave charged his opponent like a raging bull---a real @JayMark---and kneed him in the stomach.

The opponent tackled him to the ground, and they both fell kicking and screaming. The angered man punched Dave in the face, bloodying his nose.

Dave saw stars as he tussled with the man, barely managing to get him away long enough to stand up.

Something like this.

 

[rileykifer]

I sometimes write MxM romances, so I have this problem a lot. I found it's easiest to just alternate between names and pronouns without thinking too much about it the first go around. Then, later on (at least a day or two- the longer the better), I reread the scene and, each time I get confused as to who's doing what, I replace the pronoun with their name. And if I've used a name where it would have been clear enough with a pronoun instead, I change it to a pronoun.

 

[Nolff]

Do you have and tips or techniques or thoughts on how to avoid confusing narrative when multiple people have the same pronouns?

First of all, are you ragebaiting me? Like, what do you mean by "Do you have and tips"? If this is that, then you've successfully turned my nice morning coffee into a damp tap water.

Second of all, yes, I do.

When writing a scene, pay attention to the amount of characters present in the scene, the setting, the place where they're in. Count how many characters are there and show the readers which characters they should pay attention to. If there's two characters in the location of the scene, then, usually, it's easy to differentiate which is which. For example:

Garion rushed forward, eyes locked to his opponent, Jack. His spear nudged first, trying to hit him in the torso, which the latter avoided with ease. He saw his machete came down and reflexively dodged to the left, before sweeping the floor with a kick, trying to take him down.

"His spear nudged first, trying to hit him in the torso, which the latter avoided with ease." The first his refers to Garion, showing that he holds a spear and is launching an attack to Jack, while him refers to Jack. I avoided using him to refer to Jack in the "which the latter avoided with ease", because that would confuse the reader when they're thinking about the scene for at lease a few seconds. If I were to use him, then the reader would spend a second, thinking like "Wait, who's with the spear and who's evading?". Imagine telling your friend that you've just witnessed a fierce battle, and when you said "His spear nudged first, trying to hit him in the torso, which he avoided with ease", will he understand that or will he ask you to stop and re-tell him what you've just said? You get my point.

"He saw his machete came down and reflexively dodged to the left, before sweeping the floor with a kick, trying to take him down." Here, you can see that Garion is the one doing the dodge. How so? Because I never put Jack as the person I refer to with the first he, and I made it that way until stated otherwise. You can see that the first he is Garion and the his after that is Jack, who's swinging a machete down towards Garion. Garion dodged the attack, and then swept the floor with his leg, doing a low kick, trying to hit Jack. The reader could understand this well because there's not much characters to count in the scene, hastening the process of replicating the scene in their mind. It's just them two, easy to discern who is who.

Now, what if there's more than two characters?

Then, avoid using too much he/him/she/her, and use another way to refer to them. Be it calling their appearances, accessories, characteristic, title, their names, or use "First, latter."

I'm too lazy to make an example of this, so pardon me if you're expecting more. I got sour after my granny screamed about me peeping too much into my family's problem. So, that's all of them.

Feel free to ask me. I'll be sure to help as much as I can.

 

[Racosharko]

Do you have and tips

I don't know what you are talking about, that didnt happen, it must have been a terrible knightmare you were having, thank God you woke up.

 

[Nolff]

I don't know what you are talking about, that didnt happen, it must have been a terrible knightmare you were having, thank God you woke up.

Oh don't you think I don't see that, ya small looking Winnie.

 

[Placeholder]

Dave charged his opponent, and he kneed him in the stomach, in return he tackles him, both fell kicking and screaming.

Dave charged his opponent, kneeing him in the stomach. In return the noun tackled him, dragging him to the ground where ...

 

[JayMark]

Pronouns are funny. They pretend to like nouns but are always trying to replace them. They are not pro-noun, they are anti-noun.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

english grammar humor, is few and far between. good job.
if that isnt proof you like puns, wordplay, and are good at it? I'm a monkey's uncle.
I'd bet you have some gallows humor at times in your writing, eh?

 

[CheertheSecond]

Look for ways to cut down on their usage without losing clarity, use names, use descriptions.

For example

Dave charged his opponent, and he kneed him in the stomach, in return he got tackled, and both fell kicking and screaming. Quickly he got up and kicked the man then started to rain punches on him.

I prefer this one too.

Racosharko​

Remember. Every paragraph is dedicated to the action of a character.

Never have 2 characters being the main subjects in one paragraph.

If I have to edit the original paragraph, it will be like this.

Dave charged his opponent, and he kneed him in the stomach.

In return he tackles him, both fell kicking and screaming.

Quickly he got up and kicked the man then started to rain punches on him.

Never try to place a different character as the subject of another character's action.

Therefore, shit like this is pretty horrendous in my opinion.

"Did you do it?" Matta asked, and in return, the man answered. "Yes." His voice, too whispery for a person of his stature.

Each person should speak in a separate paragraph.

 

[DireBadger]

I prefer this one too.

Racosharko​

Remember. Every paragraph is dedicated to the action of a character.

Never have 2 characters being the main subjects in one paragraph.

If I have to edit the original paragraph, it will be like this.







Never try to place a different character as the subject of another character's action.

Therefore, shit like this is pretty horrendous in my opinion.



Each person should speak in a separate paragraph.

This is almost always true when it comes to speaking, except when specifically reacting or interrupting. Reactions and interruptions, however, are something you definitely have to learn by reading.

Actions, however, are often a bit more complicated.

Good writers are ALWAYS frequent readers.