The Last to Comment Wins

RepresentingThree

RepresentingThree

Pedagogical Cannibalism?
Joined
Jun 20, 2020
Messages
241
Points
103
On a bustling street, our dashing, dapper, and debonair reporter presents a mircophone to a lucky gentleman. "Hello Sir, how excited are you to answer my mandatory question?"

"Actually, I am a lady." She interjects with a furrowed brown. "Really, I couldn't tell! Now on to the question. Mr?" Our favorite playboy enquires.

"Linda.."

"Right, so Larry, what would you do with a drunken sailor?"

"I'm leaving," Landon says wimpily.

Then the camera zooms in on reporter of the year winner and host of 1995 - 2000. "And that was not quite the ugliest person I've seen. Good morning and good night!"
 
JayMark

JayMark

It's Not Easy Being Nobody, But Somebody Has To.
Joined
Jul 31, 2024
Messages
1,711
Points
128
I go on one mindless video game binge and now it's this?
Time for head banging music.
 
Anemic_Vampire

Anemic_Vampire

Duchess of the Enpire
Joined
Jun 13, 2024
Messages
215
Points
108
Tempokai said:
Comfortably Dumb
(to the tune of "Comfortably Numb")


Hello? (echo)
Is there Wi-Fi in there?
Just blink if you can TikTok
Is there anyone (at) home?


Come on, (echo), now
I hear your brain’s gone numb
Well I can stream some memes,
Get you scrolling on your phone again


Relax (echo),
I'll need some context first
Just the basic facts:
Can you tell me what year it is?


There is no thought, you are retreating
A distant brain wave, buffering horizon
You are only mumbling through the haze
Your lips move,
But you're quoting BuzzFeed quizzes


When I was a child, I knew the capitals
Could name all planets — even Pluto
Now, I stare blank at the microwave,
I cannot explain — Google didn’t understand
This is not who I am...
I have become comfortably dumb


I have become... comfortably dumb


Okay (echo), just a little screen tap
There'll be no more "thinking"
But you may feel kinda dense


Can you look up (echo)?
I do believe you’re drooling
Good!
That’ll keep you tweeting through the show
Come on, it’s time to scroll


There is no clue, you are receding
A distant TikTok, flat-Earth horizon
You are only blinking through the gloom
Your lips move,
But you're lip-syncing to nonsense


When I was a child,
I had a fleeting glimpse
Of books... with pages made of trees
I turned to read, but then — a notification!
I can't recall what I was thinking now
The kid is gone, the mind is numb
I have become comfortably dumb


Hello? (echo)
Is there anyone who still reads?
Just nod if you remember
What critical thought means


Come on, (echo), now
I hear you’re out of brain
Well I can recommend
A podcast by a raccoon again


Relax (echo),
You’ll feel nothing at all
Just swipe, scroll, like —
It’s the new Neanderthal


There is no shame, we’re all receding
A sea of influencers selling crystals
We are only yelling through the screen
Your lips move,
But you’re quoting Reddit trolls


When I was young,
I questioned everything
Now I just share posts from my aunt
I can’t put my finger on a fact
The brain is fried, the soul is cracked
I have become comfortably dumb
Click to expand...
For a moment, I thought you were roasting me. :blob_melt:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top