Tell me the most absurd theories you've ever heard (for fun)

[Corty]

Your troll persona is expanding, just like Earth

 

[Nolff]

Not necessarily conspiracy ones, just those that you think are just plain absurd.

This isn't absurd for me, but someone said otherwise.

So, here it is. Feel free to laugh at how serious this is.

It is a message.

"You have the rights to be born to the world, but you are also obliged to be birthed out to the world."

 

[Rezcore]

My girlfriend's brother thinks I have yellow fever, my girlfriend is Korean. I have dated other races. So Def absurd

Flat earth
Government can save the economy
The Government is the good guy
The Government is here to help

There is a theory that the races of men are descendants of the 3 sons of Noah, as each son was racially different. They even use the fact that the Y chromosome can be traced back to 3 separate proto race individuals.

Moon landing being faked
The UK being able to extradite American trolls
Wmds in Iraq, 100% went in for poppy
Activision will make a good game... not since around 08
Banning tiktok is a bad thing, or hypocritical because [Insert America SNS]
R.R. Martin being a good writer.
Jesus being a Socialist

The Nazis were Christians, they weren't though they did use Christian pageantry. The regime was very skeptical and somewhat antagonistic towards religion, with many high rangers being genuine Satanist and occultist.

Stalin wasn't as bad as Hitler.

The Allies would have won without America, which is partially true. Assuming the US did the Lend-Lease. Had we not sold equipment, the Germans would have won. We sold weapons to everyone, including the soviets.

It's impossible to invade North Korea, the US and ROK could subjugate them in a week, but allow them to exist as a way to rally support for a broken ROK Government. That's my gfs contribution

China is stable. The natural state of China is a land of multiple nations, the China we know is a land of differing ethnicities that absolutely hate each other, but are being suppressed by the Han Government.

 

[mysterious_cube]

I've got three

New chronology: a bunch of historical events actually happened in an entirely different time period, and massive swathes of history were falsified

C decay: the speed of light used to be higher. It's a young earth creationist explanation for why certain faraway stars are visible, even though it takes longer for their light to reach us than the creationist timeline allows

Elite gender vision: a lot of celebrities, maybe even all of them, are secretly trans and part of some bizarre trans cult

 

[QuercusMalus]

I have a new theory I was introduced a moment ago:

All my threads on this forum were nothing but elaborate trolling attempts!

The next question- How does one observe(as is subjective)and measure 'trolling' so as to see if we can move this from a theory to a fact?

 

[Corty]

The next question- How does one observe(as is subjective)and measure 'trolling' so as to see if we can move this from a theory to a fact?

Reading all my messages... uh, good luck with that.

 

[Jocelyn_Uasal]

Anything that comes out of a One Piece fan's mouth.

View attachment 30902

"The one piece is nami's boobs"


My favorite one is that the moon is one big dragon egg, and that one day it'll hatch and we will be it's first meal; like a spider eating its own mother after birth.

 

[2wordsperminute]

"The one piece is nami's boobs"

I've heard a theory that it's joyboy's afro. There was a lot of evidence backing it up, too, and I think he may have even been right about where it is.

 

[CheertheSecond]

Phillipines is building up their hidden arsenal for world domination.

 

[SRB]

Australia isn't real. Everyone who claimes to be from Australia is a paied actor from Britain.

 

[Jocelyn_Uasal]

Australia isn't real. Everyone who claimes to be from Australia is a paied actor from Britain.

You're supposed to post stuff that isn't true

 

[SRB]

You're supposed to post stuff that isn't true

Oh, sorry about that.

I heard a funny thing once. There was a guy who claimed that France is a good country.

 

[BearlyAlive]

I heard a funny thing once. There was a guy who claimed that France is a good country.

Sure it wasn't "a good country to invade"?

People claim they've learned from history to not repeat the same mistakes again and again and again.

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

That Disney made the first Frozen movie so that Walt Disney being cryogenically frozen wouldn't be the first thing that popped up when people googled "Disney Frozen."

 

[SternenklarenRitter]

"Jewish lasers on a secret moon base will overthrow capitalism by making you eat want to eat bugs"

 

[Rezcore]

I developed a new Naruto fan theory, that caused chaos on a Naruto theory discord. In Naruto you meld spiritual energy and physical energy together to form chakra, the rasengan being pure shaped chakra. Then you add an elemental change to that chakra, now based on some shinobi not using hand signs, it's reasonable to assume that hand signs are mnemonic devices. Thus it's perfectly reasonable to assume you could use cantrips in place of hand signs, and use spells. Jutsus are just spells.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Australia isn't real. Everyone who claimes to be from Australia is a paied actor from Britain.

That's just to discourage tourists, becuase EVERYTHING in Australia wants to kill you. Everything. Kiwi birds? Yep. Crocodiles? Obviously. Koalas? Well they WOULD but they fall asleep halfway through the attack... Wombats? Well, except for that one that was struck by lightning and just runs in circles... Everything.