Story Feedback

[T.K._Paradox]

I was wondering if anyone would be willing to review my story 'Epic of a Dragonknight' I have finally released chapter five, due to being out of college currently, and was wondering if I could have feedback on what I currently have. That does mean all five chapters.

Epic of a Dragonknight | Scribble Hub

 

[melonpanwarrior]

"monsters typical found within" — typically
"adventures only to be described as epic will occur" — phrasing of sentence seems a bit off. What is this supposed to mean?
The synopsis doesn't seem to tell me anything about the story besides the isekai trope.

Chapter 1 is a whole block of MC's internal thoughts and actions which is heavy to read. Would be good to throw some variety to make it more interesting for the reader to read (e.g., dialogue [start in the middle of the party and use dialogue to convey the MC's appearance / the stuff at the start instead of starting in the forest, then create a line break between receiving the punch and MC being lost in the forest, rather than having MC hurl paragraphs of internal monologue at the reader for the entire chapter.], line breaks, varying sentence lengths, etc.)

 

[T.K._Paradox]

"monsters typical found within" — typically
"adventures only to be described as epic will occur" — phrasing of sentence seems a bit off. What is this supposed to mean?
The synopsis doesn't seem to tell me anything about the story besides the isekai trope.

Chapter 1 is a whole block of MC's internal thoughts and actions which is heavy to read. Would be good to throw some variety to make it more interesting for the reader to read (e.g., dialogue [start in the middle of the party and use dialogue to convey the MC's appearance / the stuff at the start instead of starting in the forest, then create a line break between receiving the punch and MC being lost in the forest, rather than having MC hurl paragraphs of internal monologue at the reader for the entire chapter.], line breaks, varying sentence lengths, etc.)

The story is based off the Epic's of old, meaning the story itself is going to be slow because of that.