Started writing for the first time!!

[OtakuKen]

I've started writing a few days ago and I was hoping to gain some traction as well as some feedback. If anyone would like to read my novel it would be appreciated very much!

Legends of Sol: The Journeys of a Warrior

Sol, a young boy grows up in the slums knowing nothing of the world but the smell of piss, shit, and decayed corpses. He escapes from the depth of the abyss, a world with no past nor future, only to find that darkness reigns over reality, a reality he must...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[EternalSunset0]

I checked the prologue and the first two chapters out. First thing that stuck out to me is how the sentences feel repetitive if that's the right way to put it. They are short and feel choppy, especially in the prologue, all while having the same patterns. I think a good way to remedy that would be to change the structures up a bit.

Instead of the same "He did something" pattern, you could probably add some transitional words here and there, so don't start multiple sentences in a row in the same pattern. You can also join two sentenced together with a conjunction (don't forget the comma before the conjunction)

As for the premise, I'm cool with it. I more or less have an idea where the story is headed, so I was able to enjoy the whole "fight for freedom" aspect of it that I think you're headed towards. I think things happened a bit quickly at the start (chapter 1) but that might just be my stylistic preferences.

The first few chapters kinda gave me some first episode Seraph of the End vibes. Or Fairy Tail's Tower of Heaven. I'm not so sure what else to compare it to because I haven't actually watched that much anime or read books (probably just a few dozens that I'm just super passionate about) to have a wide library of comparisons. But yeah, vibes check out.

 

[NikkuNii]

I've started writing a few days ago and I was hoping to gain some traction as well as some feedback. If anyone would like to read my novel it would be appreciated very much!

Legends of Sol: The Journeys of a Warrior

Sol, a young boy grows up in the slums knowing nothing of the world but the smell of piss, shit, and decayed corpses. He escapes from the depth of the abyss, a world with no past nor future, only to find that darkness reigns over reality, a reality he must...

www.scribblehub.com

??????????

 

[OtakuKen]

I checked the prologue and the first two chapters out. First thing that stuck out to me is how the sentences feel repetitive if that's the right way to put it. They are short and feel choppy, especially in the prologue, all while having the same patterns. I think a good way to remedy that would be to change the structures up a bit.

Instead of the same "He did something" pattern, you could probably add some transitional words here and there, so don't start multiple sentences in a row in the same pattern. You can also join two sentenced together with a conjunction (don't forget the comma before the conjunction)

As for the premise, I'm cool with it. I more or less have an idea where the story is headed, so I was able to enjoy the whole "fight for freedom" aspect of it that I think you're headed towards. I think things happened a bit quickly at the start (chapter 1) but that might just be my stylistic preferences.

The first few chapters kinda gave me some first episode Seraph of the End vibes. Or Fairy Tail's Tower of Heaven. I'm not so sure what else to compare it to because I haven't actually watched that much anime or read books (probably just a few dozens that I'm just super passionate about) to have a wide library of comparisons. But yeah, vibes check out.

I tried fixing it up a little bit by moving some words around. Thanks for the critique! I hope you continue to read if you enjoyed it!