Something insanely alienating

[Agentt]

For the first time, I find myself utterly confused by an author. His thought process couldn't be more different than that of an alien to me.

​

-Sylvie
​

The prompt is simple, write something which will achieve this reaction.
Rules are simple,
1. You cannot write gibberish
2. You cannot make it obvious that you are joking.


Here is an example by me,

"Both me and my husband has been encouraging our child that it is okay to be homosexual ever since he was born. Yet, despite being 13 years old now, he still is attracted to girls. Is this normal? Please tell me this is a phase, I don't want my son to be a homophobic hetero jerk."

 

[Deleted member 58005]

"Both me and my husband has been encouraging our child that it is okay to be homosexual ever since he was born. Yet, despite being 13 years old now, he still is attracted to girls. Is this normal? Please tell me this is a phase, I don't want my son to be a homophobic hetero jerk."

I just wanted to say this sounds like something a mom would ask on Reddit or Quora...

 

[Nhatduongg]

"Ah, humans. Such incredible creatures. We found there planet by chance yet we are fascinated by them. They sometimes do very wierd things with their puny information technologies. Oh hey, I remember that one time when there is a random human-cat hybrid group messing around a forum page for a novel website, what a world they are living in!"

I'm seriously sucks at this kind of things.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Well, I am doing a rewrite of my miscarriaged work, so here I go.

James had been screaming inwardly from dawn break to dusk set, yet nothing in the blue round world could topped the current scene of seeing a bipedal greyish white british shorthair with short limbs and big head bobbing his head in and out of magus Wilma's skirt.

Yes, he. Last time he checked, the self righteous, ever preaching chibi cat still has his balls that he forced everyone in the boys shower to an awkward gander.

"Wait, don't cats have sharp tongue?" Maybe one of the fuze had finally blown, but all the young college student could imagine was running a steel wool on his own penis as he sucked in the cold night air hard.

 

[Aaqil]

"Both me and my husband has been encouraging our child that it is okay to be homosexual ever since he was born. Yet, despite being 13 years old now, he still is attracted to girls. Is this normal? Please tell me this is a phase, I don't want my son to be a homophobic hetero jerk."

I could genuinely imagine a human being saying such a thing,

 

[Agentt]

I just wanted to say this sounds like something a mom would ask on Reddit or Quora...

I could genuinely imagine a human being saying such a thing,

^^
I did a good then~~

Well, I am doing a rewrite of my miscarriaged work, so here I go.

James had been screaming inwardly from dawn break to dusk set, yet nothing in the blue round world could topped the current scene of seeing a bipedal greyish white british shorthair with short limbs and big head bobbing his head in and out of magus Wilma's skirt.

Yes, he. Last time he checked, the self righteous, ever preaching chibi cat still has his balls that he forced everyone in the boys shower to an awkward gander.

"Wait, don't cats have sharp tongue?" Maybe one of the fuze had finally blown, but all the young college student could imagine was running a steel wool on his own penis as he sucked in the cold night air hard.

....
*blinks*
....
*inhales*
Firstly....where the commas! I can't read!
*focuses*
Ah, i mean, it might be weird to some, but getting sucked by a irl cat is pretty basic to me by now,
Let's see how others react to this

 

[NotaNuffian]

"Both me and my husband has been encouraging our child that it is okay to be homosexual ever since he was born. Yet, despite being 13 years old now, he still is attracted to girls. Is this normal? Please tell me this is a phase, I don't want my son to be a homophobic hetero jerk."​

I know that this isn't real, but if you appear in front of me,

 

[Agentt]

I know that this isn't real, but if you appear in front of me,

Reminds me of a care study we did in psychology where a mother, suffering from schizophrenia, forced her son to always tape his butt shut ever since he was born for she was afraid Satan would rape him

 

[darkpikacha]

"Every month I like to do a random theme for myself via darts. Shame that it hit my neighbor and his wife. Looks like I am stuck playing the game of Among Us this month's family gathering. Good thing I played at Among Us before and gotten really good at it. No one ever suspects a thing."

Reading it again. It makes me look like a psychopath that wears someone skin. I think I successfully got the alien part and random thought process. Not sure about the joking part. I did put among us.

 

[Daitengu]

Tbh, can't beat RL sometimes. Not me btw.

I'm a Christian mother and found out my son's teacher use to be a stripper. So I reported her to the principal and got her fired. I've come to learn she got another teaching job at another school. Should I report her?

PS: this got moved to 'am I the bad guy' subreddit.

 

[Ilikewaterkusa]

For the first time, I find myself utterly confused by an author. His thought process couldn't be more different than that of an alien to me.

​

-Sylvie
​

The prompt is simple, write something which will achieve this reaction.
Rules are simple,
1. You cannot write gibberish
2. You cannot make it obvious that you are joking.


Here is an example by me,

"Both me and my husband has been encouraging our child that it is okay to be homosexual ever since he was born. Yet, despite being 13 years old now, he still is attracted to girls. Is this normal? Please tell me this is a phase, I don't want my son to be a homophobic hetero jerk.

“The radical left for as radical as they may be are truly not radical as they are not allowing our children to enjoy radical youth! So they are false radicals!” - some 33 year old from the basement caucus

 

[RepresentingCaution]

"Both me and my husband has been encouraging our child that it is okay to be homosexual ever since he was born. Yet, despite being 13 years old now, he still is attracted to girls. Is this normal? Please tell me this is a phase, I don't want my son to be a homophobic hetero jerk."

You think you have it tough? Despite being a year old, my son hasn't figured out that buttplugs are for his anus, not his mouth. Our pediatrician said it would help, but maybe the ones we're giving him are too big.

https://www.amazon.com/Windi-Colic-Reliever-Babies-Count/dp/B007RAGALO

 

[Irl_Rat]

“The radical left for as radical as they may be are truly not radical as they are not allowing our children to enjoy radical youth! So they are false radicals!” - some 33 year old from the basement caucus

The most radical thing about the radical left is their radical lack of normal human interactions.

 

[Amok]

normal is just a flavor of brain bacon we scrub into our grey bits. don't scrub too hard, you might just remember the big empty beforeness, swirling into that stygian abyss like a plump duckling sucked into a jet engine, your entire being becoming, embracing the human smoothie.

 

[T.K._Paradox]

I sometimes wonder why sounds taste the way they do. The firm solid acoustics of a guitar taste green to me, but a tympani drum's sounds taste like blue.

Which in all honesty doesn't make sense, considering an electric guitar tastes turquoise with a hint of purple.

Is there something wrong with sense detecting orifices or am I just a duck?

 

[CarburetorThompson]

I’ve already gone through the proper channels to file my complaints with NAVNUPWRTRACOMORLINST (Naval Nuclear Power Training Command, Orlando Installation). I do not like being given the run around like this, and I would hate to have to bring the issue before Congress.

 

[Agentt]

You think you have it tough? Despite being a year old, my son hasn't figured out that buttplugs are for his anus, not his mouth. Our pediatrician said it would help, but maybe the ones we're giving him are too big.

https://www.amazon.com/Windi-Colic-Reliever-Babies-Count/dp/B007RAGALO

....you really topped it

I sometimes wonder why sounds taste the way they do. The firm solid acoustics of a guitar taste green to me, but a tympani drum's sounds taste like blue.

Which in all honesty doesn't make sense, considering an electric guitar tastes turquoise with a hint of purple.

Is there something wrong with sense detecting orifices or am I just a duck?

Well, seriously speaking, it is a rather unique psychological phenomenon, called synaesthesia, where two or more of the neurons associated with a sense organ become entangled, causing people to taste colours, or see temperature sometimes

 

[BearlyAlive]

I killed them all. I raised them with care, grooned them to perfection. All for this moment. I just killed them, peeled their skins and boiled them in thick red broth. Now I'll just have to cut them into little pieces and I'm finished.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Why the fuck is it about whether the milk or cereal comes first? Why is it about the chicken or the egg? Do people never realize about the bowl or the coop? Do people ever blame the tree for bearing the sinful fruit that tempted both Adam and Eve, or God himself who chose to plant such temptations to his pure creations? Why do people blame the solutions but never the catalyst? It isn't my fault I blew up the pre-school; it was the parents' fault that they put their children there in the first place.

 

[CheertheDead]

For the first time, I find myself utterly confused by an author. His thought process couldn't be more different than that of an alien to me.

​

-Sylvie
​

The prompt is simple, write something which will achieve this reaction.
Rules are simple,
1. You cannot write gibberish
2. You cannot make it obvious that you are joking.


Here is an example by me,

"Both me and my husband has been encouraging our child that it is okay to be homosexual ever since he was born. Yet, despite being 13 years old now, he still is attracted to girls. Is this normal? Please tell me this is a phase, I don't want my son to be a homophobic hetero jerk."

Also.
Do you remember the penis invasion story I told you long ago?