So this is what it feels like.

[Hans.Trondheim]

Allow me to get this off my chest, since we're allowed (and even encouraged) to let off anything that bothers us here.

So yeah, I decided to put a stop to my writing.

"But Hans, you're being dramatic again. You'll delete your works again?"

Nah. I'd rather continue updating that and not remove it (in fact, I only keep deleting it because I'm hoping before), since I already have the chapters written down. Nevertheless, call it dramatic or whatever, IDGAF. My main reason for giving up is, well, I didn't 'grow' at all.

My works remain as it is years ago, few readers even look at it. And it's fine; pretty understandable. This is the way the world works. Fault falls on me for being a stubborn idiot. No matter how much hard work I put in, it's only wishful thinking that I kept on going, hoping what I did will be rewarded. I tried to develop and improve myself, on my own, but knowing how my 'ego' works, I can't bring myself to have it reviewed as often by others, since I'll be honest: I hate being called names, or insulted down to my very bone whenever I ask for help/feedback.

So, I gave up. Stopped writing whatever stories I have in the works. I'm glad I still have friends who are honest with me; though they may feel bad, they helped me form this decision of mine to stop. Just stop. Writing isn't for me, no matter how hard I try.

But, so much for that.

Days later, this is what it feels like, huh? When you give up something you wholeheartedly focused your energies for the last two decades. I feel empty. Been trying to sleep this out, but my motivation is lost for days. Honestly, something within me wants to get back, pick up the pen and write. But then again, I'm always reminded I suck, so I avoid it as much as I can.

No, I don't need encouragement to return, nor advice to 'git gud' or something similar. Feel free to make fun of me, I'm already a wreck. I'm just letting these emotions out so I can continue moving on. It sucks, really, but I have to give up writing coz it won't work for me.

 

[Agdistis]

As per your wishes, I won't try to convince you to start writing again. But I do hope that you find something that you are equally, if not more, passionate about. And I hope that you find immense success.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

 

[Y2N1]

I've been following your account for a year because of your art cover and stuff, never thought I would see this.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

 

[Hoshino]

If you don't have the passion to do something anymore, then it's better to give up.Don't feel so down, you will fell empty for a couple of weeks to months but it will go away soon and you will get over it and move to things you can find fun-nya.

 

[Deleted member 41774]

As a long time friend, I would like to be real honest with you here and let you hear what you should hear, but since you don't want an advice and encouragement atm, then I'll refrain from doing so. Besides, I can always have this talk with you irl anyway.

I do commend you for realizing that your stubbornness and ego did get in the way of your creative venture (this was something I've observed for a long time too). If this is what you decided on, then I'll respect it. It would suck, but eh life happens. It is what it is, so they say. I know the shit you go through everyday so I don't blame you for this. We're still buddies regardless.

But hey at least you wouldn't give up art-ing, right?

 

[Wanderrae]

Gawd dammit. Even if you won't listen to a goddamn word I say, please, don't kill your dreams. Take a step back. Walk away if you have to, but don't kill it, or you'll kill a part of yourself.

Growth is an abnormal thing. I didn't start growing until people criticized me. Move away from the screen, and observe. I don't know what your goal with writing was, perhaps the path you chose for it didn't work out. So, choose another one. Read some overrated classics, dissect language, study tropes, do something. Being self-aware is the first step to growth. You're at that threshold; you know something is wrong, just push through.

Few readers? If fame was your goal, slap a big titty image of an AI-generated lady on your covers, and watch the views stream in. Want financial success? Write for an audience. Write smut, maybe write shitty LitRPG with a twist. You have total creative freedom. I tried conforming to audiences, it sucked ass. So, I'm just writing what I want. And maybe the work you put in is hard, but it's not directed in the right places. So shift the focus.

You'd accept insults but would refuse advice. My man, you have to look inwards. This is it, you're at the crossroads. Whatever you do in the next few years will determine whether or not you can look back at this and be happy. I did that. I wasn't happy. I did that for the last 10 years. I can't do that anymore. Don't make a choice you'll come back to regret.

 

[melchi]

But hey at least you wouldn't give up art-ing, right?

Yeah, we still need more comic strips for scribble hub high school.

 

[Golden_Hyde]

Ah, I get this feeling. This is practically the reason why I stopped writing fanfictions altogether since 2020, until I got myself back into writing once again in 2023, this time it's an original one. While yes, I haven't published at least one story as of now in this site, I will look into how well my story will take off (after I get myself a new laptop for further editing and proofreading that is)

 

[Fakeminsk]

As someone who doesn't know you and hasn't read your work--but who has come very close, many times, to giving up on writing--and who did stop, for over a decade--my only question would be: why did you start writing in the first place?

If it was for financial success, and after twenty years that didn't happen, then sure, maybe quiting makes sense. If it was to be part of a community, and that's happening then that sounds like success. If you simply enjoy it, if writing brings you happiness, then why stop?

Writing is a weird hobby, there's this weird assumption that if you do it, you should be going somewhere with it, monetizing it somehow. But why? I enjoy playing obscure boardgames but nobody's ever pressured me to "git gud" or 'go' somewhere with that hobby, it exists purely for enjoyment.

And finally, if you're writing because you've got a story gnawing at you then good luck, but you probably won't be able to stop. Five, ten years from now, you'll pick up your pen and be back at it again.

 

[tiaf]

Do whatever you feel like. But remember that you don’t have to go the cold turkey path. If your fingers ever itch to type it’s ok to give in to the temptation.

 

[Bartun]

I just hope you are fine.

 

[LordAstrea]

I won't pretend to know the full circumstances, but I feel this. I have been writing for many years as well. I also gave up writing for a while due to being discouraged, lack of enthusiasm and people trying to bring my work down. There can be so many factors. I was unable to handle insults and feedback that was just plain condescending.
It does suck, but success with writing, even with hard work, takes vastly different amounts of time for each person. A harsh reality. And it is so sad to think sometimes that the success may never happen no matter how much work is put in.
I got back into a new draft after about a year. Maybe something similar can happen for you where that spark gets lit again out of nowhere. We don't know what makes that spark, but it just kind of happens. Or maybe that spark will be for something else?
Write what you want to write. If you're writing something that you would want to read, then I believe that's worth it.
I hope after some time you can find that passion for writing again or anything else that brings enjoyment. :)

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Allow me to get this off my chest, since we're allowed (and even encouraged) to let off anything that bothers us here.

So yeah, I decided to put a stop to my writing.

"But Hans, you're being dramatic again. You'll delete your works again?"

Nah. I'd rather continue updating that and not remove it (in fact, I only keep deleting it because I'm hoping before), since I already have the chapters written down. Nevertheless, call it dramatic or whatever, IDGAF. My main reason for giving up is, well, I didn't 'grow' at all.

My works remain as it is years ago, few readers even look at it. And it's fine; pretty understandable. This is the way the world works. Fault falls on me for being a stubborn idiot. No matter how much hard work I put in, it's only wishful thinking that I kept on going, hoping what I did will be rewarded. I tried to develop and improve myself, on my own, but knowing how my 'ego' works, I can't bring myself to have it reviewed as often by others, since I'll be honest: I hate being called names, or insulted down to my very bone whenever I ask for help/feedback.

So, I gave up. Stopped writing whatever stories I have in the works. I'm glad I still have friends who are honest with me; though they may feel bad, they helped me form this decision of mine to stop. Just stop. Writing isn't for me, no matter how hard I try.

But, so much for that.

Days later, this is what it feels like, huh? When you give up something you wholeheartedly focused your energies for the last two decades. I feel empty. Been trying to sleep this out, but my motivation is lost for days. Honestly, something within me wants to get back, pick up the pen and write. But then again, I'm always reminded I suck, so I avoid it as much as I can.

No, I don't need encouragement to return, nor advice to 'git gud' or something similar. Feel free to make fun of me, I'm already a wreck. I'm just letting these emotions out so I can continue moving on. It sucks, really, but I have to give up writing coz it won't work for me.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

But hey at least you wouldn't give up art-ing, right?

It's part of my creative process, so I have to give up on that as well. I'm just there to teach that coz it's part of our next SY lessons. I also lost motivation in drawing stuff. This one came before than the writing itself. I even lost my interest in anime/manga, which is way ahead before I considered dropping drawing and writing.

Adulting sucks, @Ron-Ran I need to focus on matters that bring actual money to my wallet coz my mum isn't getting support from my sperm donor. I'm the one supporting her now, and these things only get in my way (like time) without any good/profitable returns.

I cannot see the point in continuing on with those things, honestly. Feel free to get mad at me, but yeah so as you say, shit happens.

As a long time friend, I would like to be real honest with you here and let you hear what you should hear, but since you don't want an advice and encouragement atm, then I'll refrain from doing so. Besides, I can always have this talk with you irl anyway.

Also, I don't like seeing/talking to people right now. Even irl. Dropped a three-day on-site seminar so I can just stay at home.

You'd accept insults but would refuse advice.

Lots of insults are masqueraded as advice/feedback/comment. My workplace has a lot of it already, in addition to discouragements. I don't plan on adding more, since I also have troubles back at home.

Been searching for feedback and advice before. No one did give me actual useful advice, other than the ones I followed, and still nothing. No 'growth' and that did it for me. I suck at this. Even my irl friend says I suck, and my attitude got in the way of 'development'. Well, I'm not cut out for this, so fuck it. I give up. Writing/Drawing is a brutal world, and I'm not up for suffering.

 

[owotrucked]

Art kinda sucks when you do it for money. I would never have lasted as long as you lol

Making commission or writing stuff that compromise your taste for the customers' is annoying. For example, it's not accidental if anime and manga style has shifted over the years. There's a nostalgic appeal to 90s art, and we see few indie games with Saint Seya or Sailor Moon aesthetics once in a while, but mainstream consummers will prefer cuter style like what you see in Genshin Impact.

Feeling empty after dropping something has a bit of liberating feeling. No next thing to chase, no big plan to dominate the world. It's time to take a nap, take a walk under the sun.

Once you're bored, you can always look for new hobbies, who knows there might be better stuff to monetize. You could even pick up writing and drawing again but with different expectations and goals

 

[BloodCeremony]

I think your concern generally relatable to everyone who dabbles in creative scene. I myself could relate on that defeatism you felt, no joke. But, to choose that drastic option, to hung your pen once and for all, I can't really understand. Well, I have no grand ambition other than just because, so it may be obvious. But I'm quite serious about writing tho. It's my only lifeline.

 

[Paul__Michaels]

I don't know what words I can offer that could help you, Hans. All I can say is I've been in a similar situation as you, but mine was trying to get into the Video Game as an 3D character artist with very little success. So, I know that disappointment you feel when you get little to no reaction on your work. I've even tried working with Indie companies pretty much with no pay most of the time in hopes to get something out in the world.

Over time you feel deflated and jaded with the world that doesn't seem to want to give you a chance. But taking a break will give you an opportunity to reflect on what you want to do.

Me personally, I took a year off from doing 3D. Felt a little bitter at first but that feeling faded a bit when doing my day job at the time. I didn't realize it at first but I did become a better artist when I was ready to come back. And was finally making some money out of it.

But at some point I had to stop for a whole another reason. I started a family and my partner is the breadwinner in my relationship so it made more sense for me to take care of the children since my freelancing wasn't bringing enough for daycare. So, I started writing to keep my creative side alive until my kids are old enough to go to school and never expected for this hobby to pay for itself while being will stay at home dad. Frankly, it would be weird if I started making more money as an author then an 3d artist. Life is weird sometimes.

My suggestion is take a break and find something to bring you self-worth or peace of mind. Sort of a pallet cleanser. It might take weeks, months, or a year before you are ready to get back on the saddle, that is if you want to get back.

And while you're taking this time off, don't look at everything you've done and learned a "sunk cost fallacy." Because it can be applied in your life, whether it be for work or fun and it might trigger something in you that you might not have thought about. Sunken cost fallacy only becomes true if you don't use what you have learned.

The last thing I want to say is you are talented. But you need to focus on a craft and I think you are stronger as an 2D artist than a writer. If you do come back focus on that. But take my opinion with a grain of salt because at the end of the day. I'm just some schmuck on the Internet give out free advice.

Best of luck.

 

[Fox-Trot-9]