*in a dimension where there is no perma-death:*
[Setting: School Cherry Blossom Festival]
*Tentacles form from the air and rapidly assemble a small building from materials obtained from unknown locations. It looks like a stage with a curtain. The curtain is pulled open, revealing a simple wooden three legged stool with a fist sized cartoon octopus floating a few inches above it. there is an X painted on the floor in red. The "Quagma's Mallet Market" is now open*
Come one, come all! While you're out there playing games, getting hit on by weirdos in masks and eating questionable amounts of fried foods, why don't you try Our hammer strength test game?
"ooh, ooh! i wanna go first!" said a hapless student
What's your name, student?
"Don't got one," the nameless student said. "Rhaps traded me a bag of corn chips for it. worth it, though. those were the best dang corn chips i've ever had."
anyways, get in here.
they do so.
a quagma appears and draws the curtain.
stand right here on this red x. the idiot complies.
*we manifest our Matcha-mallet, a cosmic weapon forged from the soul and body of legally not willy wonka, neutron star metal, and a half dozen stickers featuring cartoon cats.*
they're not ours, we explain hastily. the neighbor's kid must have been playing with it.
alright, hold still. here comes the strength test.
We swing the mallet at the nameless student, crushing them into a greasy red x shaped stain on the floor.
the quagma at the curtain pull starts reeling in the rope, opening the curtains.
who's next in line? we ask the clueless students thronging around the newest attraction.
You admitted it! You're off the list, and congrats on the confession, you kuu(tsun?)dere
