Shameless Feedback Thread [OPEN]

[TheGreatOne6000]

Made a romance/slice of life with a self deprecating protagonist in the 2nd best school in the US. Focuses on the mental struggles him and his friends deal with.

A Promise from Me to You

Talent and change, those two define humanity. Yet, Elliot had neither. As a freshman at Laxus Flare Academy, Elliot Elanderin is surrounded by brilliance and exellence you couldn't find anywhere else. Compared to them, or anyone really, Elliot is pathetically ordinary—someone without a defining...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[treze]

Dream Dungeon – Earth’s Induction Trial LitRPG

Seventeen-year-old Mike Valencia only feels free when he’s asleep. Until now. Every night, at exactly 10:00pm, a faceless System drags him into the Dream Dungeon — a deadly evaluation designed to determine whether Earth deserves induction into the multiverse. Each floor is a test. Each fight...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[jean-marc21]

Your synopsis read as if it was written by a politician from East Europe, Latin America, and South-East Asia. It is long, but the only important information it give reader is what you just told me in your post. Too many filler words. For a synopsis, the shorter the better. Most authors limit theirs to 150 words.



That one is much better than than your current synopsis. When writing a synopsis, make sure your already readers know what they are reading on the first paragraph.

Replace your current synopsis with a variation of that like this.

Thank you for this precise and helpful feedback. You're right — my current synopsis is too vague and too long. I'll replace it with a shorter, clearer version based on what I wrote in my post.

Would something like this work, in your opinion?

Reincarnated into a noble family of fire mages, Ciel is expected to be a prodigy. But when his magic fails in a spectacular way, he's cast out by his own family. Years later, he must find his own path—and discover what his flames are truly capable of.

Or should I just use your suggestion directly?

Thanks again for the feedback. This is exactly the kind of outside perspective I needed.

 

[Sunsetinapainting]

Could you checked boys gang I want to know what people thought

 

[c37]

The cover approval bot is bugged. It will reject anything and everything. You will have to wait for a human to manually approve the change.

Hey I've fixed my cover to some extent. But it is awaiting approval. I'll put it here, can you tell if it is still burning your eyes or not?

 

[harrydouthwaite]

Here is my little work-in-progress. I have 5 chapters completed so far, for a rough total of 30k words.

Sixes and Sevens

A Trains On The Brain series story. When you're all at sixes and sevens, you feel overwhelmed and unable to cope. That's how twelve-year old Robin feels a lot of the time, but as he enters his preteen years in 2006 his world begins to change in many ways which leads...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[L1aei]

Hey I've fixed my cover to some extent. But it is awaiting approval. I'll put it here, can you tell if it is still burning your eyes or not?
View attachment 46927

Your title being enveloped in a background of white does burn the eyes, but that's because my pupils are dilated right now.

 

[c37]

Your title being enveloped in a background of white does burn the eyes, but that's because my pupils are dilated right now.

Sorry , I forgot people usually read these in night.