Sexy vs Creepy?

[ThisAdamGuy]

I made a post a few days ago about how my WIP isn't sexually explicit, but still has some "spicy" moments in it. Rereading them now, I find myself going back and forth between thinking they're fun and well written, and them being...not that. You know how people complain about how the sexy parts of books were clearly written by men? I'm worried that's how mine are going to come across, and that it'll negatively impact how people see the book as a whole. So, people who are more experienced in this sort of thing than me, where do you think the line gets drawn between "fun and sexy" and "0.5 stars because the author writes like an incel"?

 

[zephyrtrillian]

Hello, I am Human with Woman parts. Plz to share spicy stuffs...I'd be happy to look it over and give you a hand.

What you wrote the last time I saw you post (when you were talking about RoyalRoad) was great. Wasn't too much, was spot on.

 

[bumblebeelz]

I poked into the other thread you made to give your excerpt a read, and I think it sounds fine. Nothing struck me as creepy.

Answering the last question on sexy vs incel vibes, the first thing that comes to my mind is the use of "female" instead of "woman." As nouns, "male" and "female" sound very clinical and detached. It's something you'd hear in a nature documentary when discussing an animal species, not individual people. And if the intent is to convey feelings of affection, "woman" sounds much more familiar than "female."

For example: "That's the woman he fell in love with," vs "that's the female he fell in love with."

Obviously, there are exceptions. Say you're using male and female as adjectives. "The male driver" or "the female server" are just helpful descriptors, and those don't raise flags in my book. But when "female" is used as a standalone noun, it gives off Ferengi vibes.