Seeking Feedback & Constructive Criticism - The Math Research Club Eats Problem For Breakfast

[Hachiichi818]

Hello everyone,

I would like to share a project I’ve been working on, a series blending mathematics, science, and human drama, set against the backdrop of elite academic life in Kyoto. I’d really appreciate your honest feedback and constructive criticism to help me improve and deepen the story.

I’m particularly interested in feedback on:

• Character development and interactions
• Balancing technical/scientific content with storytelling
• Clarity and pacing of key plot points
• Overall readability and engagement, especially the mystery connection and development
• Suggestions for deepening themes or enhancing atmosphere

The Math Research Club Eats Problems For Breakfast

Main series: At Yūgen Academy, where prodigies gather, the Math Research Club is a place where complex problems are devoured for breakfast. Newcomer Kanzaki Seiya meets the calm and brilliant prodigy Kisaragi Akari, whose talent hides a secret no one knows. Under the guidance of...

www.scribblehub.com

Thank you very very much.

 

[Natsummer]

Interesting read so far. Good job.

The characters are interesting and very well-written. However, the teacher is stealing scenes. I assume she’s a side character? Your main characters are overshadowed by her presence. You need to tune her down if this isn’t your intention. The interactions are fun to read, especially the word play. I don’t think readers would understand them without proper cultural exposure though. I personally enjoyed it. I laughed a little too much, actually.

I have a science background, which makes the read enjoyable and fun. However, I strongly believe most people would get confused, especially in Chapters 3 and 4, as your exploration of math gets difficult. The sequences are smart and well-placed, but risking some readers lose interest completely. Lots of hidden cues and jokes only stem people would understand. If you are targeting a niche group, it will work, but I don’t think scribblehub is the right place. I think the amount of scientific content is between just-right and need reduction. Adding more would completely alienate normal readers. I suggest trimming down some math and technical terms in engineering, so it flows better and doesn’t overwhelm the readers.

Key plot points are clear but be careful of losing traction. Focus on the main plot. It is diverging from the initial mystery. It's hard to tell if the build-up is doing its work since there are not many chapters, but I think the short stories are doing their job. Again, watch out for overshadowing the main series. The short stories indeed have the promised depth you designed. However, the narrative styles are completely different, which makes them more memorable than the main narration. This could also be one of the factors that contributes to the issue of overshadowing characters. It could also be your publishing order issue too.

The rest is fine, the atmosphere from Chapter 1-4 is good. However, in the prologue, the pacing and atmosphere are weird. I am not sure if it is a translation issue or an LLM problem. Something is not right. You might want to rewrite the prologue since it is the first dramatic event to draw readers in. Why would we care ? Why is it important ? If it is the latter, based on your writing, I suggest you drop the use of LLM completely, since I don’t think you need it anyway, it would just taint your work. The themes are deep but could be explored more. It's promising though!

Keep up the good work!!

 

[Hachiichi818]

Interesting read so far. Good job.

The characters are interesting and very well-written. However, the teacher is stealing scenes. I assume she’s a side character? Your main characters are overshadowed by her presence. You need to tune her down if this isn’t your intention. The interactions are fun to read, especially the word play. I don’t think readers would understand them without proper cultural exposure though. I personally enjoyed it. I laughed a little too much, actually.

Thank you very much for your time and reading. I noticed the problem as I write, I'll try to balance the interaction carefully. My plan is to polish Chapter 1 to 4 as much as I could before completing chapter 5. I always find some parts that are not good enough and wanting to change. I would eventually add footnotes to some terms.

I have a science background, which makes the read enjoyable and fun. However, I strongly believe most people would get confused, especially in Chapters 3 and 4, as your exploration of math gets difficult. The sequences are smart and well-placed, but risking some readers lose interest completely. Lots of hidden cues and jokes only stem people would understand. If you are targeting a niche group, it will work, but I don’t think scribblehub is the right place. I think the amount of scientific content is between just-right and need reduction. Adding more would completely alienate normal readers. I suggest trimming down some math and technical terms in engineering, so it flows better and doesn’t overwhelm the readers.

My idea is to invite math and non-math readers to enjoy and understand the math-world. It is not written to alienate readers. I will keep this in mind and reduce some unnecessary content when I further polish the chapters. I do notice the works are mainly fantasy and romance on the platform.

The rest is fine, the atmosphere from Chapter 1-4 is good. However, in the prologue, the pacing and atmosphere are weird. I am not sure if it is a translation issue or an LLM problem. Something is not right. You might want to rewrite the prologue since it is the first dramatic event to draw readers in. Why would we care ? Why is it important ? If it is the latter, based on your writing, I suggest you drop the use of LLM completely, since I don’t think you need it anyway, it would just taint your work. The themes are deep but could be explored more. It's promising though!

Keep up the good work!!

You are right. I reread the prologue again and it is not smooth. I will rewrite the prologue sequence.

Thank you very much.