Writing Rules about Character Maturity and Sexuality

MrTiemos

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I know it's kinda dark and gory, but try something that is meaningful. Your application is a visual horror, so your story might be a sole shocking theme, and readers won't like that at all.
Retro hentai? Gore hentai? Shocking theme?

Uhh, no. This isn’t nearly the whole story, not by a long shot. It’s important as the MC is an orc, yes, but even if I removed everything written in this thread I could make the story without any major hindrance beyond having to rewrite the orcs to be more... generic, which would be annoying but fairly simple.
 

MrTiemos

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In short, I think not many people would enjoy reading a story about such a flawed race/species.
At least, I don't want to.
Well, that’s the premise of the race, and it’s one of the MC’s goals to fix some of those flaws.
Did I mention god killing?
 

Nahrenne

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Well, that’s the premise of the race, and it’s one of the MC’s goals to fix some of those flaws.
Did I mention god killing?
God-killing does not appeal to me at all.
Also, I don't see how an MC from such a race could possess the intelligence, or lifespan to correct those flaws.
I'd rather just read Goblin Kingdom, tbh.
'-'
 

Ral

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Twins birthing strong warriors is in part the patron god being a dick, and another part because they couldn’t be bothered to give a proper blessing to the orcs. ‘The more orcs that are born will mean that strong warriors are more likely to be born’ is the gist of it.
But there aren't more orcs being born. Females can technically birth only one. The species only last a single generation, at most 20 years. This is more like the god wanted to end the orcs.
Three times larger than humans upon birth. This is because even when in the womb, they are affected by the aforementioned rapid physical development.
Kinda stupid. There is a reason why babies are born weak and helpless. Because it is the only way for them, mother and child, to survive. I mean, the baby has to come out first. If they are too big (sometimes it happens) then both mother and child would die.

And, this pokes a flaw. Why are the mother still alive to be raped by them? Did the tribe keep the mother alive somehow? For the sons to rape? Why waste resources for that?
They can FIGHT them, but hunting is about CATCHING. Prey will run, and orcs aren’t fast enough to catch most of them nor smart enough to use traps.
Nope. Many animals would actually not run but fight. They only have to choose those that would fight.

Not to mention, another flaw. They are both slow and stupid. One is bad enough, now both? People could easily just outrun them then and pared with being easily detected because they are so stupid, what is to fear from them?

Really, all this just makes your orcs not a threat at all.
Regular females? As in female orcs? Nope! Patron god again! ‘Strong warriors’ means only males are born. Hence the (curse).

Females who birth orcs will have two male children EVERY TIME; as stated above there are no female orcs anymore.
This species is going to die in a few decades. No question about it.
Of course the same thing is asked by the races within the story: “Why can’t we be rid of the orcs!!?” and that is because of dungeons. Orcs are ‘made’ in dungeons, and one of the few that can leave. A group that leaves at the same time will become an orc tribe on the ‘surface’.
Food? Nothing made in dungeons need to eat while within the dungeon. But once they leave that benefit is lost, and they cannot re-enter the dungeon.
Eh? Then they couldn't have lasted then. They don't need food right? Then suddenly they do . . . then they would starve to death. They can't hunt and lacking experience they should not know how to pillage (or even know what that is). In this situation, they most likely would just cannibalize each other.
Well, that’s the premise of the race, and it’s one of the MC’s goals to fix some of those flaws.
Did I mention god killing?
Uh . . . why should we be interested in fixing them? Why should we care about them? And how could a person like that come from there? Not to mention, he has to do it within just ten years (their life span)? How?

God killing . . . is this something we should care about especially when you consider who would do this?

There is something called Darkness-Induced Audience Apathy. This story seems to fit the bill perfectly.
 
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MrTiemos

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God-killing does not appeal to me at all.
Also, I don't see how an MC from such a race could possess the intelligence, or lifespan to correct those flaws.
I'd rather just read Goblin Kingdom, tbh.
'-'
God killing as in it being the solution to the problem, not a main focal point of the story.

Speaking of story, this thread doesn’t address much of the main story. This is all about the backstory behind a singular race (granted it’s the race that the MC is, so that’s fairly major). Yes it becomes somewhat of a focal point later on, but that’s like saying that the Otome genre is about the heroine getting good grades at the academy so that she can become part of the student council to get closer to a capture target.
 

Nahrenne

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God killing as in it being the solution to the problem, not a main focal point of the story.
Yeah, I gathered that was the point of it. It doesn't interest me at all.
Speaking of story, this thread doesn’t address much of the main story. This is all about the backstory behind a singular race (granted it’s the race that the MC is, so that’s fairly major). Yes it becomes somewhat of a focal point later on, but that’s like saying that the Otome genre is about the heroine getting good grades at the academy so that she can become part of the student council to get closer to a capture target.
You're saying the most fundamental part that makes up the race of your MC is an optional thing for the MC to push the plot towards a goal?
owO
Owo
That's just shoddy writing and poor plot and character development, then.
 

WaterBear6

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Honestly, write what you want and then censor when you're done. As you describe it, it doesn't really sound that bad. It's like describing how some animals eat after birth. It's gross, and used to be inconceivable for humans, now however, it's isn't that uncommon.

Anyway, hit me up when you start writing, I'm interested in your story.
 

Ral

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God killing as in it being the solution to the problem, not a main focal point of the story.

Speaking of story, this thread doesn’t address much of the main story. This is all about the backstory behind a singular race (granted it’s the race that the MC is, so that’s fairly major). Yes it becomes somewhat of a focal point later on, but that’s like saying that the Otome genre is about the heroine getting good grades at the academy so that she can become part of the student council to get closer to a capture target.
But it is a major part of the story. It would be there and color our perception of the story.

So you compared it to an Otome story. Bungle that part up, like say make the heroine pass without making any effort, and people would criticize it. I mean, you now can't be that interested with the result because it is easily solved. It would not feel like the heroine deserves to be part of the council and be closer to the capture target. It just would not feel satisfying.

Elements of your story should work together. Like, think of those stories of movies where the ending of the story ruined it all. The ending is a small part of the story but it is crucial to the overall story. Every part contributes to the whole.

Still, maybe you can make it work somehow. There are those stories that seems to be doomed to fail but works, like The Lego Movie. I will wait and see.
 

MrTiemos

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@Ral
Sorry, I meant three times as large as humans who are just born, not being born three times as large as humans. I really messed up with my wording.

Yes some animals do fight back (which is why they can still bring back food) but there are many that would run away as well. Also (this may just be me) I can’t imagine there are many animals that would make their nests next to a major predator?
The major races (humans, elves, etc) are absolutely smart enough to chose between fighting and running when facing orcs. But people don’t always make the best choices, for various reasons. Fear and pride poison one’s judgement.

You’re absolutely right here as well, but missing a few points. First, that’s just the orcs that are made in dungeons. Orcs born in tribes on the surface (as it was originally, when there were female orcs) learned to hunt. They were normal, or at least more normal.
The blessing(curse) practically forced them down a new path to survive as a species. They hunted less because they needed females to breed with, so they began pillaging. Time spent learning to hunt became time looking for more females or for training to fight those protecting those females.
The patron god screwed them over when neglecting to think about the blessing’s consequences.

Ah, the MC. Reincarnated as an orc. Unfortunate? Probably.
He mostly wants to prevent the orcs from becoming a major problem further down the line. Why? Sorry, but I’ll have to keep that one to myself since that’s actually a plot point that I’d rather not spoil.
As for the ten year lifespan, that’s just because orcs have forgotten about mana. MC on the other hand? Yeahhh, he’s gonna be fine.
 

MrTiemos

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Edited the OP

You got a really huge rape fetish, didn't you?
Not a fan of rape. I’d say more but I’m aware that regardless of what I say there’ll be those that think otherwise.
You're saying the most fundamental part that makes up the race of your MC is an optional thing for the MC to push the plot towards a goal?
Not optional at all if he wants to accomplish his goal. Don’t know why you thought it’s optional.
Anyway, hit me up when you start writing, I'm interested in your story.
I’ll try to remember XD my memory is not great. Best I can do is make a note in the story’s synopsis that says “PM WaterBear6 about this novel being posted” with a link to this thread.
Elements of your story should work together. Like, think of those stories of movies where the ending of the story ruined it all. The ending is a small part of the story but it is crucial to the overall story. Every part contributes to the whole.
That... is the most genuine advice I have received in a while. Honestly, makes me second guess what I’ve got noted down. Definitely going to review and double check that the story is connected well enough and has a fairly good flow (not gonna put up hopes, so setting a realistic goal first).
 

Ral

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Yes some animals do fight back (which is why they can still bring back food) but there are many that would run away as well. Also (this may just be me) I can’t imagine there are many animals that would make their nests next to a major predator?
They do actually, not side-by-side but close to each other. Predator and prey often live together. You will often see this in videos like lions and wilderbeast just standing around side-by-side.

The thing is, there are fewer predators than prey. Most prey would actually feel safe, especially if it is obvious that the predator is sated.
The major races (humans, elves, etc) are absolutely smart enough to chose between fighting and running when facing orcs. But people don’t always make the best choices, for various reasons. Fear and pride poison one’s judgement.
Ehhh . . . Now you are making the other races stupid too.

Seriously, they don't need to abandoned their homes, just stay away until things clear.

Not to mention, they could just poison stuff and let the orcs poison themselves. Or considering what we have here, they could preempt it. Finding a tribe or Orcs, leave poisoned carcasses. End of story. Your orcs aren't a threat, at all.
You’re absolutely right here as well, but missing a few points. First, that’s just the orcs that are made in dungeons. Orcs born in tribes on the surface (as it was originally, when there were female orcs) learned to hunt. They were normal, or at least more normal.
You said they can't hunt, now they learned.

Not to mention. They can't go farther than the first generation. They can't birth females and females die after birth. Their race can only go in lesser than 20 years before they all disappear.

You could say that dungeons provide females for them but do you really think these females would not fight? Not to mention, they now are dependent on the dungeon to the point of immobility. One orc raid and people can easily retaliate destroying the orcs and then guarding the dungeon. Your orcs are becoming lesser and lesser of a threat to the point of being just jokes.
The blessing(curse) practically forced them down a new path to survive as a species. They hunted less because they needed females to breed with, so they began pillaging. Time spent learning to hunt became time looking for more females or for training to fight those protecting those females.
They are supposed to be stupid right?

And even if you consider that it goes like that. They began pillaging. Then the others would fight back. Considering they have nothing to them, even experience, other than pure strength. They are easy to take care of. As I said, they are really not a threat at all.
Ah, the MC. Reincarnated as an orc. Unfortunate? Probably.
Then the MC could just leave.

Seriously. The orcs are so fucked up that it is hard to care. There is nothing remotely beneficial in staying with them or keeping them.
He mostly wants to prevent the orcs from becoming a major problem further down the line. Why? Sorry, but I’ll have to keep that one to myself since that’s actually a plot point that I’d rather not spoil.
Then why not just kill them all? Poison the water they drink and they all will be dead.

Still, I will see if I will be satisfied with what you come up.
As for the ten year lifespan, that’s just because orcs have forgotten about mana. MC on the other hand? Yeahhh, he’s gonna be fine.
You are making more and more conveniences. Not that they are bad but you can't depend on them for everything.

And this pokes another flaw. In what way is mana important? Is it just to have long life? Mana often means magic. So orcs can't do magic while other species can? Not only does orcs have multiple weakness but other species have a major advantage over them?

You really need to think this through. I can't see your orcs as nothing but a joke. They are not remotely threatening. They are at most just pests. Goblins are more of a threat than them.
 
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Ral

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That... is the most genuine advice I have received in a while. Honestly, makes me second guess what I’ve got noted down. Definitely going to review and double check that the story is connected well enough and has a fairly good flow (not gonna put up hopes, so setting a realistic goal first).
Yeah. Many stories are often ruined by some small but important part of the story.

Still, maybe it would work out for you. Can't really be sure until it is out.
 

RaidenInfinity

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Well, you need to know why such rules exist. It's related to U.S. law (where the server of SH is hosted at) and it'll get the website hosting on trouble if illegal contents are allowed. So I suggest to spend some time and read up on how this sh*t works and try your best to make your work fit (related US law about minors in fiction or whatever), or just find another site that its rules work for you.

SH does allow explicit content (look at all the smut), but if you're posting things that might get the website in hot soup, then nope. If you spot any stories that you think don't fit the content guidelines, please use the Report button. (Yes, we had one case where the author needed to change a character's age from 16 to 18 before the work can be re-published.)
 

MrTiemos

DinoSir, thank you very much!
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You really need to think the through.
From the beginning.
Orcs were originally a normal tribal race with some appearing in dungeons throughout the lands. The major races hunted them because of competition for resources; a common problem that gave them reason to kill a ‘barbaric race’.
Being slowly driven to more barren lands the orcs began to pray to their patron god for help. What they prayed for varied but the majority wanted strength. They wanted stronger warriors who could push back other races, or for the strength to enact revenge.
Their patron God’s answer was to manipulate their reproduction, where from then on the orcs will only be born as males and as twins.
At first this proved effective, the great numbers from the new generation proving to help with their opposition. But of course, problems arose as they began to run short of supplies for they had yet to reclaim their original hunting grounds and could no longer birth females. They would pray but their patron god kept silent.
With most of the female orcs passing on, and those currently living being in no shape to bear more than another generation, the orcs has to resort to other females; humans, elves, dwarves, beastkin, and fairy. They began capturing the females to breed with, but only male orcs were born.
Then another problem arose. The newer generations seemed to desire battle, to spill blood in combat; something that the blessing(curse) didn’t initially show. Those who wanted battle went and fought against the races. Those who tried to keep them at bay were cut down.

As time passed, the orcs became essentially a different race. They no longer cared about hunting nor gathering, favoring pillaging as they would be rewarded with women in addition to food; splitting into small tribes helped them keep hidden in the major race’s territories and prevented extinction at the hands of the major races. The teachings of magic were all but forgotten, to the point that orcs no longer remembered how to manipulate mana- which in turn became akin to a poison, severely reducing their lifespan.
Strange traditions arose with the basis of survival and instinct, and cannibalism becoming commonplace. Tribes began to fight each other for survival, the victors eating the fallen and taking the women.
There was never truly a lack of orcs as tribes would emerge from the dungeons.

Then the MC was born.
 

Ral

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From the beginning.
Orcs were originally a normal tribal race with some appearing in dungeons throughout the lands. The major races hunted them because of competition for resources; a common problem that gave them reason to kill a ‘barbaric race’.
Being slowly driven to more barren lands the orcs began to pray to their patron god for help. What they prayed for varied but the majority wanted strength. They wanted stronger warriors who could push back other races, or for the strength to enact revenge.
Their patron God’s answer was to manipulate their reproduction, where from then on the orcs will only be born as males and as twins.
At first this proved effective, the great numbers from the new generation proving to help with their opposition. But of course, problems arose as they began to run short of supplies for they had yet to reclaim their original hunting grounds and could no longer birth females. They would pray but their patron god kept silent.
With most of the female orcs passing on, and those currently living being in no shape to bear more than another generation, the orcs has to resort to other females; humans, elves, dwarves, beastkin, and fairy. They began capturing the females to breed with, but only male orcs were born.
Then another problem arose. The newer generations seemed to desire battle, to spill blood in combat; something that the blessing(curse) didn’t initially show. Those who wanted battle went and fought against the races. Those who tried to keep them at bay were cut down.

As time passed, the orcs became essentially a different race. They no longer cared about hunting nor gathering, favoring pillaging as they would be rewarded with women in addition to food; splitting into small tribes helped them keep hidden in the major race’s territories and prevented extinction at the hands of the major races. The teachings of magic were all but forgotten, to the point that orcs no longer remembered how to manipulate mana- which in turn became akin to a poison, severely reducing their lifespan.
Strange traditions arose with the basis of survival and instinct, and cannibalism becoming commonplace. Tribes began to fight each other for survival, the victors eating the fallen and taking the women.
There was never truly a lack of orcs as tribes would emerge from the dungeons.

Then the MC was born.
Nice history as to why they become thus; still it is just an explanation of how things comes to be. The concept is still the same and the issues remains. The orcs are still stupid, slow, have a short life span, unable to use magic, can't hunt . . . The issues don't get resolved or disappear just because there is an explanation as to why it becomes so.

And so they took women for breeding. Remember, you make their babies grow three larger than human babies and always born as twins. There is no way these other race would survive the pregnancy and that also means the offspring. Ignoring other things like inability to carry such kind of baby to term, it is just not possible for a human to deliver a baby three times as large as normal. It practically won't fit . . . and now you have two of them. It is just an impossibility.

And, say even if the impossible is possible, even then, your orcs are still rather pathetic. Dumb, slow, large (with small birthrate). . .. It is just so easily to defeat them. I don't think they could actually pillage easily given how pathetic they are.

And your excuse for them avoiding extinction by splitting is kinda bogus. Splitting only makes it easier to hunt them and defend against them since they are now smaller in numbers; and hiding requires intelligence which they don't have. Even a single animal can be tracked, especially the large ones. A decent tracker could easily track them and find them.

Not to mention, by the history you provided, they are already driven to extinction. Now there are more forces (their curse) against their survival. They should logically cease to exist.

And as I said with dungeons, their existence becomes dependent on dungeons. Considering what dungeons are, other species would be cautious about it and would guard it heavily. So a tribe comes out of it, easy to kill with all the infrastructure set around the dungeon. Not to mention, they are dumb and slow. You probably just need to set traps in front of the dungeon or just release poison gas that they can't possibly outrun or just rain arrows and other such things. It is really just that easy to kill slow dumb large targets.

Admittedly, this is a very nice backstory but there is still the need to fix the issues with the concept. You stacked so many things against the orcs that there is just no logical way they could have survived.
 
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weakwithwords

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Whoa! This is like a Feature Request thread. I wouldn't even have to share my opinions. I just choose and Like the ones that coincide with mine.

Refer to re:monster and goblin slayer for goblins.

Refer to legendary moonlight sculptor, praise the orc, and slime tensei for orcs.

I chanced upon a novel with its author praising it for being revolutionary and fixing the flaws found in typical cultinovs. I don't know if it actually fixed anything, but it sure introduced more. One is currency denominations being separated by a thousand and even ten thousand. Imagine having to lug several sacks of coins to exchange for a single one.

When they were designing E.T., the creators were asking very pertinent questions amongst themselves. How does he breathe? What does he eat? Is he a he or an it? Even if those factors never fully get demonstrated in the movie, they wanted to make a convincingly realistic extra-terrestrial.

Decomposition and fermentation are basically the same process, but the results speak for themselves.
 

AliceShiki

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Then there are a few~ stories that wouldn’t follow said guidelines, and need to be taken down.

‘Consent’, ‘Between people’; Could be argued that orcs aren’t people, and since the act is them raping women who are 18+ (since they need to be breed-able, otherwise their corpses become rations), then would that not follow the guidelines?

This is why I’m asking.
Scribblehub Guidelines exist mostly for legal reasons and advertising reasons.

Both of those don't care if your orcs are mature or not by the time they're 10.

So... Yeah, if you are explicitly depicting them having sex while having less than 18 years old, your story might be against the guidelines and might be taken down.
 

Nahrenne

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Not optional at all if he wants to accomplish his goal. Don’t know why you thought it’s optional.
I said that because you compared the lore for your orcs to a heroine in an otome game choosing to study hard to get into the council for a capture target - implying that other capture targets don't need the council - thus, you ended up pragmatically suggesting the lore for orcs was optional.
'-'
 
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