Romantic Drama - First Time

Xigil

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I'm primarily making this thread to talk about romance stories since it's a genre that I know I am not good at, but it's definitely a genre I want to explore. I feel that if I get good at it, I can get better at writing good characters better. I hope you guys look forward to it when I make it.

So, I'm planning to write about a romantic drama that involves eternal love, tragedy, and self-discovery. It's going to have at least 3 arcs that my main character will go through in his life. I call this story, Life is Boring Without You.

The characters that I have in Life is Boring Without You for the first arc
Major Character(s)
- Jin Thor, the main character who is having a tough time after his ex-girlfriend cheated on him
- Abigail Edwin, the new HR manager from Jin's workplace whom he starts to sharing feelings for
- Jennifer Corlis, Jin's ex-girlfriend who cheated on him
Minor Character(s)
- Jericho Skadi, Jin's coworker friend who is currently dating Jennifer
- Kendra Pattinson, Jin's friend
- Sierra Calm, Jin's meat manager
- Mei Thor, Jin's grandma


So this story that I thought of so far, is it starts with Jin in a dark realm where he finds a diabolical gate. He can't open it, and it talks to him, telling him that the gate will only open if his heart is perfectly align with someone else. The gate shows him three women (this is meant to be a foreshadow and symbolic of Jin's journey). Then he finds himself in a bridge. He witnesses Jennifer cheating on him for Jericho. Filled with sadness, he decides to commit suicide; however, to his surprise, he finds himself on the shore. He sees a woman in a white dress. She asks him why he is crying, and he tells her that his girlfriend cheated on him. The woman in the white dress assures him that she'll love him in their place, and she departs into the river. It turns out, Jin was dreaming this entire time. He goes back home and works at a grocery store. Everything seems fine until he sees Jennifer (prior to this, both Jin and Jennifer were coworkers and they started dating) walk by. All of his enthusiasm dies, and before he believes he'll be miserable for the whole day, he meets his new HR manager, Abigail, whose face resembles the same woman in his dream.

For the first arc, I wanted to explore self-healing and self-realization. Jin starts to move on from Jennifer's infidelity as he forges his bond with Abigail. He starts to express everything to his group of close friends, Sierra, and his grandmother. Little did he know, Sierra gossips amongst the coworkers about his affection for the new HR manager. His love for Abigail slowly becomes obsessive, and he realizes this obsessiveness when he learns about the rumors being spread about him. Even his closest friends start to scold him for this obsessive behavior, and he is encouraged to leave the grocery store. He learns that Abigail recently broke up with her boyfriend. Despite the delightful news, he chose the right decision for once and chooses to leave the workplace. The first arc ends with Jin leaving the grocery store and he undergoes on a journey to self improve.

That's what I have so far at the moment. Let me know what you guys think of the concept. I can go into further details on each characters' role as well. Otherwise, I would love to hear some tips and feedbacks on what I should do/focus when I'm working on this romance story.
 
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Raymann

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I am interested in the topic.
Anyways what do you mean by meat manager.?

"Sierra Calm, Jin's meat manager"
 
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Xigil

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I am interested in the topic.
Anyways what do you mean by meat manager.?
Sierra is the manager of the Meat Department of the grocery store (haven't thought of a name for the grocery store yet) that Jin works in. Jin is part of the Meat Department. I hoped that make sense
 

Lodur

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I am interested in the topic.
Anyways what do you mean by meat manager.?
Apparently, it's the type of grocery, that features meat department, and Jin works as a butcher, while Sierra works as a saleswoman in that department. :blob_hmm:
 

RinThao

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Interesting story, sounds like you got an idea what you're going for. Can't really say what you can improve on, or provide any decent feedback to be honest with you.
 

RepresentingPride

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I can't really help you with that topic but if I may say, you should change the name of your mc cause Jin Thor are weird. Jin is a chinese name and Thor are scandinav, they doesn't fit together but most of all Thor as a name sound a bit cringe and doesn't fit for a name and that come from someone who have the worst naming sense out of here (yes I talk about me).
 

Xigil

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I can't really help you with that topic but if I may say, you should change the name of your mc cause Jin Thor are weird. Jin is a chinese name and Thor are scandinav, they doesn't fit together but most of all Thor as a name sound a bit cringe and doesn't fit for a name and that come from someone who have the worst naming sense out of here (yes I talk about me).
I don't blame you for seeing the name combination weird. Thor is an uncommon surname for an Asian individual. Interesting fact, Thor is a last name for the Hmong tribe, which Jin is. And I wanted his Hmong heritage to play a huge role, especially in the first arc.
 

RepresentingPride

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I don't blame you for seeing the name combination weird. Thor is an uncommon surname for an Asian individual. Interesting fact, Thor is a last name for the Hmong tribe, which Jin is. And I wanted his Hmong heritage to play a huge role, especially in the first arc.
Sorry I didn't know about that, I just see Thor as the lightning god of scandinav and since you're going to publish in english website(I assume since you here) a lot of readers will link him to it and after a quick research I see that the writing and the spelling can be different changing/spelling Thor into Thoj/Thao/ Tao/ Toa
@Sleds , carefully... you can be striked by Mjölnir (lightning). :s_wink:
Ez come at me.:blob_thor:
 

Erios909

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The biggest possible issue I see is:
MC decides to commit suicide
> Is rewarded

This could come off as glorifying suicide if done improperly (even if it is framed in that it didn't really happen and was just a dream), which is a big no.

I'd consider dropping the suicide bit, as I don't think its really necessary to plumb the depths of utter despair, that can be done without adding in the suicidal thoughts.
 
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