As someone said, my chapter 1 sucked. It had a soulless MC. My synopsis was also misleading. So, I've revised it and rewritten my synopsis.
I would appreciate your feedback on it. Thank you.
Synopsis: Aegis has no interest in destiny. All he wants is coins. In the infernal city of Inanitas, a cambion slave survives by gambling on arena blood and clawing for scraps in a world built on dominance. Power belongs to those who take it, and Aegis intends to take enough to stop feeling owned. When a battle-scarred necromancer arrives in the arena — silent and feared— Aegis sees an opportunity to buy his freedom.
Chapter 1 - A Brat Lost in Blood.
Ninety-four silver, six more, and I won’t be dragged back by the collar tonight.
Aegis, a young cambion with four horns, walked down a stone road. Gray-black buildings passed as his lean figure moved forward. His burning red pupils, swallowed by black sclera, followed the pouch in his hand.
CLANK.
Coins clanked as Aegis tossed the pouch into the air. It was small —Too small to matter to anyone but him. A low whistle slipped past his lips as the pouch landed neatly in his palm.
A roar reached his pointed ears. The ground trembled as if thousands of fiends marched in unison. The arena — the only place where his pouch could get heavier. But before he could reach it.
SPLAT
His tattered leather boots stepped on something. He lifted his feet up to see what it was— filth.
Great! A Klucking hound decided to grace me with its filth. He threw his arms up in irritation, wiping his boot against the stone.
Soon, metal stairs rose before him, stretching upward toward the arena gate. A colossal skull guarded the entrance, its jaw forever screaming. Its hollow eyes pierced Aegis’s soul.
The arena pulsed with snarls at the city’s heart. The Infernus runes pulsed like embers breathing beneath the black surface. “GLORY TO THE STRONG.”
The sound of steel rang across the arena as two fiends were locked in a ferocious duel. A wave of excited growls surrounded them. A wide smile spread across Aegis’s face, exposing two fangs. Blood sprayed into the air as the steel met flesh. His tunic tightened as his chest rose with anticipation.
“Yes, kill him!” he muttered as he felt his pouch getting heavier with each blow. He could feel it getting closer as the fiend he wagered on rained slashes. Six more silver!
The arena erupted as the head with two horns struck the sand. Blood sprayed into the air as the body knelt.
What the kluck? Aegis froze as his pouch suddenly felt lighter.
His palm covered his face as he mumbled. “No, no, not today!”
His voice dissolved into the roar. The arena descended into multiple levels. The crowd clawed at railings, howling for more blood.
“NORKHON!”
“NORKHON!”
“NORKHON!”
Norkhon brandished his battle axe, covered in blood, and roared.
“YGREAHHHH!”
The metal railings around the arena shook as thousands of spectators screamed. The ground trembled beneath their cheers. The dais trembled under bored applause from jewelled fiends. His gaze lingered on them. He wondered what it felt like to sit above everyone.
“There he is!” As soon as the words reached his ears, realisation struck Aegis. The blood wager pit collectors. He forgot he lost the bet and now owes money. Without looking back, Aegis slipped through the crowd like prey escaping. All he hoped was to escape.
Aegis rammed into someone as the crowd surged forward. His hand shot forward and caught something heavy, but before he could leave, the stranger shoved him into the wall beside him.
He let out a sharp grunt and looked up.
He kicked Aegis in the face, bruising his cheek, then spat on him, claws tightening around Aegis’s throat. “You bastard! If you touch me again, I’ll behead you.”
The fiend kicked him again, this time in his ribs. Aegis held his ribs and watched him leave. One day…but for now
He took out a pouch full of coins and shook it. The coins inside clanked. Fool.
He swallowed iron and kept moving. As he made his way toward the Blood Wager Pit, he kept eavesdropping. It had earned him quite a few coins before.
“A necromancer!”
The braziers around the arena flickered. Necromancer? Aegis froze mid-step.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you know? A corrupted Eldari arrived in the Inanitas a few months ago.”
“He made quite a name in other Dominions.” The voice paused for a moment before continuing, “I will be the one to disembowel him!” A snarl followed.
“Hold your claws, some say they saw wraiths around him while he was fighting.” Another fiend joined in.
An Eldari necromancer, huh? That sounded expensive.
Aegis reached the Blood Wager Pit. Claws slammed counters as fiends snarled over payouts. Since Aegis was still a teenager, he crouched and made his way to the counter. Inside the counter stood a slender fiend with a single horn on his forehead. He looked at Aegis through his gold-framed glasses. Aegis reached into his pouch and placed some coins on the counter.
“I see you brought the coins. I was afraid I’d have to dissect you and display your body parts as a warning.”
The slender fiend took the coins and sent Aegis away. It took a while for Aegis to crawl out of the crowd. His face tightened with disgust as the metallic smell of sweat hit his nose. His spine popped as he rose from the crowd. Just when he was about to leave, a voice spoke loudly, “The champion of Mistress Vakharath.” Anticipation sharpened his gaze.
“A MILLENNIUM OLD CHAMPION, BUTCHER OF ELDARI,” Aegis ran back into the arena and climbed the railing.
“THE KHRANE IS HERE!”
The arena was filled with snarls and roars.
Aegis’s voice roared along with the crowd.
“KHRANE”
“KHRANE”
“KHRANE”
His eyes brightened as a crimson-skinned fiend stepped forward to speak.
The crimson coat over his black tunic fluttered as the wind blew. The burning red suns in the sky made his gold belt shine bright. His matted, swept-back hair fell below his shoulders, threaded with a few gold studs.
Khrane waved his hand, a faint smile on his face exposed sharp, jagged fangs. Khrane looked in his direction. Aegis forgot to blink.
Had his idol noticed him, or was he going crazy? Below the dais, in the sand, twenty fighters stood. Khrane looked down.
“Champions of the Dominions!”
“I was told you were strong.”
“I was told you were feared.”
“I was told you were undefeated.”
He let the silence stretch… a low grumble escaped as he exhaled.
“So were the last hundred.”
“Do not bore me.”
His mouth parted without permission. My way to freedom…soon.
“I think you forgot it was not just your coin.” A low growl followed.
It was different. Almost as if a girl spoke—
As Aegis turned his head, a young fiend girl with dark-red skin stood to his right, her orange pupils seething with rage. Before Aegis could form a word, a fist landed with familiar affection. He bent and held his stomach and looked at her.
“We decided to bet on Norkhon! Why did you bet against him?” Her gaze softened despite herself.
“Yeah, you keep doing this,” Another voice spoke.
This time it was a young fiend boy with pale orange skin and short brown hair. His brown eyes were fixed on Aegis. Silence surrounded them for a moment.
Familiar disappointment crossed their faces.
Zerra and Kaelran. The only fiends he liked.
“Sorry?” Aegis offered the weakest apology imaginable.
“You will turn us into beggars, you dumbgrog,” Zerra smacked his arm with annoyance.
“Also, your master was looking for you, and he is not happy,” Kaelran added.
Aegis looked down. A moment later, he waved his hand dismissively “Ignore him.”
Zerra leaned closer, and her braided hair moved along with her. “Did you hear this? There is an Eldari necromancer among the twenty champions.”
“I thought necromancers died early?”
Kaelran tilted his head thoughtfully.
“Eh. Doesn’t matter, Eldari die easily anyway.” Aegis shrugged off.
“Look,” Kaelran nudged Aegis’s shoulder and pointed.
The elegantly dressed fiend atop the dais was about to speak.
Soon, a voice spoke loudly.
“CITIZENS OF INANITAS!”
Aegis, Zerra and Kaelran turned their heads toward the host.
“I KNOW YOUR BLOOD IS BOILING, YOUR EYES ARE BURNING. SOON YOUR THIRST WILL BE QUENCHED! THE WAIT FOR THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY IS OVER! THE TWENTY CHAMPIONS ALL ACROSS INANITAS STAND IN FRONT OF US,”
Aegis leaned in with his hand resting over Zerra’s shoulder.
“THE BUTCHERS, THE MARAUDERS, THE SLAYERS ACROSS THE INANITAS ARE HERE TO FIGHT THE LEGENDARY KHRANE!”
“It is happening!” Kaelran spoke.
“LET US WELCOME THE CHAMPIONS ONE BY ONE.”
Hunger radiated through the stands. The crowd stood waiting in anticipation, and a low grumble echoed across the arena.
The champions passed one after another as the host announced their names.
Tiredness found its way to Aegis, and he leaned on the railing. As Aegis raised his eyes, the host leaned toward the fiend beside him and whispered something.
"A CHAMPION BEYOND ABADDON, "
The crowd was ready to roar once again.
"... A CORRUPTED ELDARI. "
"HIS NAME IS ANANKE! "
A thunderous roar erupted but soon fell silent. Footsteps echoed around the arena. A Hooded Eldari stepped into the arena.
His blackened plate armour clanked as he made his way into the arena. Coins hung suspended between wagers. Cheers withered into murmurs.Braziers around the battle pit dimmed. Heat felt distant.
Zerra rubbed her palms together. Kaelran turned to his friends, “Isn’t it cold?” But Aegis's bright red eyes were fixed on the new champion.
Ananke removed his hood, revealing his face. His gaze swept the arena, emerald-green eyes scanning every face before halting on Aegis.
The railing felt colder under his grip. “…Mistake.” The cold breath of air brushed him again.
I would appreciate your feedback on it. Thank you.
Synopsis: Aegis has no interest in destiny. All he wants is coins. In the infernal city of Inanitas, a cambion slave survives by gambling on arena blood and clawing for scraps in a world built on dominance. Power belongs to those who take it, and Aegis intends to take enough to stop feeling owned. When a battle-scarred necromancer arrives in the arena — silent and feared— Aegis sees an opportunity to buy his freedom.
Chapter 1 - A Brat Lost in Blood.
Ninety-four silver, six more, and I won’t be dragged back by the collar tonight.
Aegis, a young cambion with four horns, walked down a stone road. Gray-black buildings passed as his lean figure moved forward. His burning red pupils, swallowed by black sclera, followed the pouch in his hand.
CLANK.
Coins clanked as Aegis tossed the pouch into the air. It was small —Too small to matter to anyone but him. A low whistle slipped past his lips as the pouch landed neatly in his palm.
A roar reached his pointed ears. The ground trembled as if thousands of fiends marched in unison. The arena — the only place where his pouch could get heavier. But before he could reach it.
SPLAT
His tattered leather boots stepped on something. He lifted his feet up to see what it was— filth.
Great! A Klucking hound decided to grace me with its filth. He threw his arms up in irritation, wiping his boot against the stone.
Soon, metal stairs rose before him, stretching upward toward the arena gate. A colossal skull guarded the entrance, its jaw forever screaming. Its hollow eyes pierced Aegis’s soul.
The arena pulsed with snarls at the city’s heart. The Infernus runes pulsed like embers breathing beneath the black surface. “GLORY TO THE STRONG.”
The sound of steel rang across the arena as two fiends were locked in a ferocious duel. A wave of excited growls surrounded them. A wide smile spread across Aegis’s face, exposing two fangs. Blood sprayed into the air as the steel met flesh. His tunic tightened as his chest rose with anticipation.
“Yes, kill him!” he muttered as he felt his pouch getting heavier with each blow. He could feel it getting closer as the fiend he wagered on rained slashes. Six more silver!
The arena erupted as the head with two horns struck the sand. Blood sprayed into the air as the body knelt.
What the kluck? Aegis froze as his pouch suddenly felt lighter.
His palm covered his face as he mumbled. “No, no, not today!”
His voice dissolved into the roar. The arena descended into multiple levels. The crowd clawed at railings, howling for more blood.
“NORKHON!”
“NORKHON!”
“NORKHON!”
Norkhon brandished his battle axe, covered in blood, and roared.
“YGREAHHHH!”
The metal railings around the arena shook as thousands of spectators screamed. The ground trembled beneath their cheers. The dais trembled under bored applause from jewelled fiends. His gaze lingered on them. He wondered what it felt like to sit above everyone.
“There he is!” As soon as the words reached his ears, realisation struck Aegis. The blood wager pit collectors. He forgot he lost the bet and now owes money. Without looking back, Aegis slipped through the crowd like prey escaping. All he hoped was to escape.
Aegis rammed into someone as the crowd surged forward. His hand shot forward and caught something heavy, but before he could leave, the stranger shoved him into the wall beside him.
He let out a sharp grunt and looked up.
He kicked Aegis in the face, bruising his cheek, then spat on him, claws tightening around Aegis’s throat. “You bastard! If you touch me again, I’ll behead you.”
The fiend kicked him again, this time in his ribs. Aegis held his ribs and watched him leave. One day…but for now
He took out a pouch full of coins and shook it. The coins inside clanked. Fool.
He swallowed iron and kept moving. As he made his way toward the Blood Wager Pit, he kept eavesdropping. It had earned him quite a few coins before.
“A necromancer!”
The braziers around the arena flickered. Necromancer? Aegis froze mid-step.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you know? A corrupted Eldari arrived in the Inanitas a few months ago.”
“He made quite a name in other Dominions.” The voice paused for a moment before continuing, “I will be the one to disembowel him!” A snarl followed.
“Hold your claws, some say they saw wraiths around him while he was fighting.” Another fiend joined in.
An Eldari necromancer, huh? That sounded expensive.
Aegis reached the Blood Wager Pit. Claws slammed counters as fiends snarled over payouts. Since Aegis was still a teenager, he crouched and made his way to the counter. Inside the counter stood a slender fiend with a single horn on his forehead. He looked at Aegis through his gold-framed glasses. Aegis reached into his pouch and placed some coins on the counter.
“I see you brought the coins. I was afraid I’d have to dissect you and display your body parts as a warning.”
The slender fiend took the coins and sent Aegis away. It took a while for Aegis to crawl out of the crowd. His face tightened with disgust as the metallic smell of sweat hit his nose. His spine popped as he rose from the crowd. Just when he was about to leave, a voice spoke loudly, “The champion of Mistress Vakharath.” Anticipation sharpened his gaze.
“A MILLENNIUM OLD CHAMPION, BUTCHER OF ELDARI,” Aegis ran back into the arena and climbed the railing.
“THE KHRANE IS HERE!”
The arena was filled with snarls and roars.
Aegis’s voice roared along with the crowd.
“KHRANE”
“KHRANE”
“KHRANE”
His eyes brightened as a crimson-skinned fiend stepped forward to speak.
The crimson coat over his black tunic fluttered as the wind blew. The burning red suns in the sky made his gold belt shine bright. His matted, swept-back hair fell below his shoulders, threaded with a few gold studs.
Khrane waved his hand, a faint smile on his face exposed sharp, jagged fangs. Khrane looked in his direction. Aegis forgot to blink.
Had his idol noticed him, or was he going crazy? Below the dais, in the sand, twenty fighters stood. Khrane looked down.
“Champions of the Dominions!”
“I was told you were strong.”
“I was told you were feared.”
“I was told you were undefeated.”
He let the silence stretch… a low grumble escaped as he exhaled.
“So were the last hundred.”
“Do not bore me.”
His mouth parted without permission. My way to freedom…soon.
“I think you forgot it was not just your coin.” A low growl followed.
It was different. Almost as if a girl spoke—
As Aegis turned his head, a young fiend girl with dark-red skin stood to his right, her orange pupils seething with rage. Before Aegis could form a word, a fist landed with familiar affection. He bent and held his stomach and looked at her.
“We decided to bet on Norkhon! Why did you bet against him?” Her gaze softened despite herself.
“Yeah, you keep doing this,” Another voice spoke.
This time it was a young fiend boy with pale orange skin and short brown hair. His brown eyes were fixed on Aegis. Silence surrounded them for a moment.
Familiar disappointment crossed their faces.
Zerra and Kaelran. The only fiends he liked.
“Sorry?” Aegis offered the weakest apology imaginable.
“You will turn us into beggars, you dumbgrog,” Zerra smacked his arm with annoyance.
“Also, your master was looking for you, and he is not happy,” Kaelran added.
Aegis looked down. A moment later, he waved his hand dismissively “Ignore him.”
Zerra leaned closer, and her braided hair moved along with her. “Did you hear this? There is an Eldari necromancer among the twenty champions.”
“I thought necromancers died early?”
Kaelran tilted his head thoughtfully.
“Eh. Doesn’t matter, Eldari die easily anyway.” Aegis shrugged off.
“Look,” Kaelran nudged Aegis’s shoulder and pointed.
The elegantly dressed fiend atop the dais was about to speak.
Soon, a voice spoke loudly.
“CITIZENS OF INANITAS!”
Aegis, Zerra and Kaelran turned their heads toward the host.
“I KNOW YOUR BLOOD IS BOILING, YOUR EYES ARE BURNING. SOON YOUR THIRST WILL BE QUENCHED! THE WAIT FOR THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY IS OVER! THE TWENTY CHAMPIONS ALL ACROSS INANITAS STAND IN FRONT OF US,”
Aegis leaned in with his hand resting over Zerra’s shoulder.
“THE BUTCHERS, THE MARAUDERS, THE SLAYERS ACROSS THE INANITAS ARE HERE TO FIGHT THE LEGENDARY KHRANE!”
“It is happening!” Kaelran spoke.
“LET US WELCOME THE CHAMPIONS ONE BY ONE.”
Hunger radiated through the stands. The crowd stood waiting in anticipation, and a low grumble echoed across the arena.
The champions passed one after another as the host announced their names.
Tiredness found its way to Aegis, and he leaned on the railing. As Aegis raised his eyes, the host leaned toward the fiend beside him and whispered something.
"A CHAMPION BEYOND ABADDON, "
The crowd was ready to roar once again.
"... A CORRUPTED ELDARI. "
"HIS NAME IS ANANKE! "
A thunderous roar erupted but soon fell silent. Footsteps echoed around the arena. A Hooded Eldari stepped into the arena.
His blackened plate armour clanked as he made his way into the arena. Coins hung suspended between wagers. Cheers withered into murmurs.Braziers around the battle pit dimmed. Heat felt distant.
Zerra rubbed her palms together. Kaelran turned to his friends, “Isn’t it cold?” But Aegis's bright red eyes were fixed on the new champion.
Ananke removed his hood, revealing his face. His gaze swept the arena, emerald-green eyes scanning every face before halting on Aegis.
The railing felt colder under his grip. “…Mistake.” The cold breath of air brushed him again.
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