Reviewing

Nekouni

Active member
Joined
Mar 9, 2023
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29
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43
This is my latest series, and I want to know what can others understand from only 2 chapters as well what can I change.

 

MintiLime

Unofficial Class President, Author
Joined
Jul 1, 2023
Messages
619
Points
133
Cool! I’ll check it out :)
Just read the chapters and commented :) It’s good so far.

I got the sense that

1.Aris is strong and thoughtful, has swordsmanship and magic but does not want to use the latter

2. Her brother is regretful and may have been pressured as the eldest son

3. The mom knows her children but did not seem to help out with protecting the village or discussing their stressors

4. No sign of dad- either dead or waiting to pop up as a villain. Maybe he’s the origin of Aris’s magic?

5. Diana is strong and like Aris. Does not seem to be jealous or resentful, but does know about the magic. At risk for being kidnapped by bandits for plot purposes

I don’t think anything really needs changed. The brother’s letter read a little strangely but as a newbie author, been there done that. Sometimes you just can’t get around it when you want to convey information. Other than that, I think the story just needs time to progress further!
 
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