Request for feedback on the novel "Void Code"

[pankovski]

Hello! I've just added the first two chapters of my novel, and I'd like you to decide whether the story is interesting and if I should continue adding more chapters.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1603636/void-code--volume-/

Step into a world where the past has been erased-
and the future is written in blood.
"Void Code" is the first chapter of the monumental "Trilogy of the Future"-a story steeped in darkness, driven by action, saturated with cybernetic poetry, and layered with philosophical depth.
If you love the world of Blade Runner and the atmosphere of Ghost in the Shell, this story was written for you.
Now is the perfect moment to dive into a universe where there's no turning back.
Nova Praga never sleeps.
It breathes neon and speaks in languages long forgotten by humans, yet remembered by machines. Here, anyone can change their face, their memories, even their soul-if they still have one.

 

[Iassus-Rudera]

Description is good if a little too far. I know you're copying more established works and authors but you've already described the story. By the time it gets to around "He's seeking an answer." We already know what the story is about and whether or not we'll read it. You don't need to add anything else.

Speaking of descriptions, the first chapter is very description heavy. They're good descriptions, you've done really well setting the scene. They overstay their welcome a little but that's personal preference more than a criticism. Your description of the world is excellent and draws the reader into the story immediately.

That said you do tell a bit more than you show. Telling us about Ion Sket is fine in the beginning but I would recommend in future using the environment to tell us these things. Rather than just saying 'He was a code knight'. Perhaps describe a prominent feature. For example: "He wore a badge on his lapell, a crest that matched the one gleaming on the ship behind him. It was the symbol of the Code knights." That way you're not just telling, you're showing.

Good worldbuilding with the priests. Using them as a part of the environment really fleshes out the world right from the gate.

You're throwing a lot at the reader immediately upon opening the book. It can be intriguing if done right but in this case I think it's just overwhelming. knight's code, all these names, all the worldbuilding, it's all great stuff but it needs to be explained eventually and all these terms mean nothing if we don't have some context. For example, we know the knight's code is some sort of combat organisation. We know nothing about their 'code' or structure yet. How do people see them? Hated? Loved? Lost? Why?

Now I could go on but you didn't ask for a full review of your work and I've given you enough to start with. You asked if you should continue the book. I don't have that answer for you.

I could tell you that you did great and this is an excellent opening chapter. I could encourage you, saying you should write this book because it needs to get out there. If that's what you want to hear, there it is.

Ultimately though, the choice is on your head. Do you enjoy writing this book? If you don't, trust me it's going to be a pain to continue writing it for long enough to finish it. If you do, why are you even asking? You don't need validation from anyone else. Go be a writer and enjoy it.

All that said, I think it's way too early to decide whether you enjoy writing this particular book or not and ultimately it will take years to find your specific rhythm. I can't decide this for you but I can say that it will get better as you go. Writing is all about time and rhythm.

Hope this helped. :)