I've read from chapter 0 to chapter 4. They've written well (at least the retooled chapters), better than average webnovels in that genre, but have problems. Minor ones, thankfully. I'll write each chapter's issues.
Chapter 0: as overall prologue it's good. I like the intentional mystery, atmosphere and world-building is solid, and dialogue is good enough. Pacing, however is the problem. You need to tighten the "where do I want to go in the wilderness" part, it feels repetitive. And also the "reflecting my thoughts" bit slows down the pace, maybe add external action or sensory details to that.
Emotional depth is small. Sure, he's confused, has flashing memories, but emotions from those memories fall flat. You can use them by making the MC to give a small goal of uncovering them by going into city for example. The "temple of the storms" and "faith of the sun" in the dialogue bit feels abrupt, add some more details that MC sees before the dialogue, foreshadowing it.
Chapter 1: it's good for webnovel standards, but grammar and structural quality dropped a lot. It looks like first draft, I get it, you know how to fix it. The world is still immersive, and the subtle societal dynamic are shown well. Pacing, again is the problem, while each part has the place in the story, the shifts are too abrupt. Smooth them out by adding some sentences in between. There's some emotions that are told, like getting "agitated" by lying, try add more "show". And also, you missed the perfect chance of expanding the world-building through the dialogues with knights and priest. You could add more insight into the Faith of the Sun during talk with priest, therefore tying the MC to it more firmly. MC feels passive sometimes, which I get it by "amnesia" thingy, but MC could be more proactive in this chapter.
Chapter 2: The quality is the same as the chapter 1. Leera and Grog feel organic, which is good, but they feel one dimensional due to them being a surface trait characters. Add subtlety, however small to them. Action and conflict scenes are well made. Pacing here, again, feels abrupt in scene change, and then bogs down in the mundanity. More fluid transitions between high-action and lower-energy scenes could help maintain narrative momentum here, for example adding more world building. Taboo and demi-humans are cool, but they're not fully elaborated upon. MC is again passive, he just reacts, and has no plans outside of the boar hunt here. Tone consistency got hurt a little bit in this chapter, but it's minor.
Chapter 3: The quality is the same as previous two. Atmosphere and progression is good, feels realistic, but pacing, man it hurt. Cohesiveness is dying in the ditch. Smooth the transitions out. Motivations of Count and Ceryla can be made a little bit cleaner. Count scene feels a little bit rushed.
Chapter 4 (file you dropped on this thread): Quality went back to being good again. Characterization here is good, but you could add more emotional depth by adding flashback maybe, or physical reactions. Internal conflict portrayed well. World-building shines again, but can be added upon in the dialogue parts. Atmosphere and tone is awesome. Problem is again, pacing, feels abrupt again. Add more sentences between divine and mundane (in the apartment and exiting the apartment).
Overall: written good but not a masterpiece. Not in webnovel style though, but as fantasy book I would read if I had time to waste. Also, improve the synopsis by adding more clarification, it feels a little bit barren.
