Replacing swearing

[Alski]

Oh fiddlesticks, what now?

*Fiddlesticks cast Terrify*
*Fiddlesticks cast Crowstorm*

 

[Nolff]

*Fiddlesticks cast Terrify*
*Fiddlesticks cast Crowstorm*

We love casting spells.

 

[QuercusMalus]

So, for a fanfic I'm writing, the MC doesn't swear. I can't think of what words to replace that kind of crass intensity and youthful expression of shock.

Do you guys have examples?

A 1950's author I like, James H. Schmitz would use 'Great Day in the Morning!' as a substitute for things like 'holy shit' or 'goddamn'.

My mother uses 'I'm Fine', as a substitute for 'Fuck off'.

Edit: I think just deleting the swear word actually still works in the sentence I was thinking of (emotional impact is still preserved without it), but I'm still curious. How would you go about creating the same vibe swearing can create without actually swearing?

It's all about setting the scene and describing the tone and emotion behind it.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

You scrofulous snotrag, go die in agony! Your malarial mosquito whining annoys me, so shut your pie hole! If you can't curse without F-bombs you're an imbecile -- and the more elegant the language the better. Now go take a bath, you reek like roadkill skunk!

Ah yes, the Doctor Zachary Smith method... :D

Actually Lost in Space and the original Star Trek series are good places to go for creative alternatives to swear words, come to think of it.

Use made-up words. Like how in Judge Dredd they use the word "Drek" a lot.

Or Farscape used "Frell" or the Known Universe novels of Larry Niven used TANJ (an acronym for "There Ain't No Justice"). IIRC, the original Battlestar Galactica had some similar words, the novel and movie of A Clockwork Orange used Russian and Yiddish words in place of "conventional" swears (like Yarbles)

It could easily look like this instead with intense profanity:

“If that’s the case then why -the ef- did you even call this meeting?”

Back in college, we read a few South African novels for one class. They all used the word "Effing" as a generic swear word. Most of the class assumed that was done by editorial, but the teacher said: "No, that actually IS the word they use."

 

[aj.canaan]

Curses

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

I like coming up with my own swear words. In Henry Rider, Henry thinks any unimaginative dipstick can cuss with swear words, but it takes a creative and sharp mind to use foods. "What the mustard smoothie? You chocolate dipped pretzel on a stick! Mothercrumpet!"

In Juryokine, they use smite and dropper. Smite covers a lot of the usual swears. "Smite you! I can't smiting believe it! Oh, smite!" Dropper is something you call other people. You're more or less calling them animal crap...you dropper.

The Gray Ranger: Unforgiven has d'yargo, which is pretty much they're version of "damn." The interesting thing about it (to me, at least) is how that word became a swear. D'yargo was a really bad guy, almost antichrist levels of bad. Then their god, Embin, came down and no diffed him. The last thing Embin said to him was that his name would never be forgotten, but in the worst way possible. So now people cuss with it lol.

Anyway, I hope that helps. But since you're writing a fanfic, maybe it won't and I just wasted the last ten minutes writing this.

I think this helps a lot! Don't worry! You didn't just waste 10 minutes! Super interesting to learn about other stories' avoidance of swearing.

I remember one of my all-time favorite fictions, Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm A Supervillain, would use things like "Tesla's overengineered hairdryers! Tesla's famous freezerays!" and other Tesla-related anecdotes like that. It was one of the parts that gave the main character so much pizazz and style to her nerdy, fun self.

 

[SRB]

@TreasureHouse Wazzat?

A British car show where "three idiots" (a direct quote from one of the idiots) talk about cars and call eachother muppets.

 

[Nolff]

Bruh.

What a masterpiece of an insult!

 

[CharlesEBrown]

A British car show where "three idiots" (a direct quote from one of the idiots) talk about cars and call eachother muppets.

Didn't an American idiot replace one of the British idiots after said Brit Idjit got into some legal problems?

 

[LoneQuack]

A British car show where "three idiots" (a direct quote from one of the idiots) talk about cars and call eachother muppets.

I'm confident Rhymestyle, DotoDoya and SeeReax are American. These three are the only "three idiots' I know, at least.

 

[SRB]

Didn't an American idiot replace one of the British idiots after said Brit Idjit got into some legal problems?

They tried to replace all three, than the two others said "Fuck all y'all" and quit to make another car show on Amazon.

 

[Kenjona]

Boomer

 

[QuercusMalus]

Go with a classic- 'Blathering blatherskite'.

 

[Stealthy_Enigma]

Growing up in a religious family, swear words were forbidden. It's been a while since I pulled this list out, hopefully this helps~

˝/\__/\˝
(❀≖‿⁠<)✨️

Spoiler: Enigma's Alternative Swear Word List

• Balderdash!
• Darn it!
• Drats!
• Corn Nuts!
• Dagnabbit!
• Son of a monkey!
• Barnacles!
• Holy cow!
• Poo on a stick!
• Sugar!
• Sufferin’ succotash!
• Oh, snap!
• Phooey!
• Great Scott!
• Bullspit!
• Leapin' lizards!
• Cheese and crackers!
• Crappity!
• Shitake mushrooms!
• Shut the front door!
• Gee willikers!
• Mother of pearl!
• Son of a gun!
• Tartar sauce!
• Gadzooks!
• Schnikes!
• Crikey!
• Peas/cheese and rice!
• Jeepers!
• Blimey!
• Galloping gremlins!
• Oh, ship!
• Zoinks!
• Malarkey!
• Merlin’s beard!
• Holy guacamole!
• Oh, coconuts!
• H-E-double hockey sticks!
• Drat(s)!
• Ay, caramba!
• Horse Feathers
• Geez Louise
• Oh for Pete's Sake!
• For Cryin' Out Loud
• Golly Gee Willikers
• Fiddlesticks
• For Heaven's Sake
• What the Hey
• Gosh darn it!
• The heck!!!

 

[melchi]

Boomer

Okay?

 

[Fox-Trot-9]

Oh, my fluff!

You fluffy flucking flucker!

I'll fluff you up!

You son-of-a-fluff!

Fluff!

We will, we will FLUFF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *awesome guitar solo*

 

[QuercusMalus]

Do you consider 'pissed' as swearing? I have heard 'miffed' as a substitute for that one, both in books and real life.

Oh, one last question: What region is the character from (if based in some version of this world), as even between English speaking countries like American, Australia and Great Britain, you have variations in both what are considered curses, their uses, and how bad they are in context.

 

[Samsonchui]

Brownie nosed, bum sniffer.

Mother Of dogs

For Freaks sake

Oh, my fluff!

You fluffy flucking flucker!

I'll fluff you up!

You son-of-a-fluff!

Fluff!

We will, we will FLUFF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *awesome guitar solo*

That’s fluffing hilarious…..I’m imagining a pillow factory worker

 

[Gray_Mann]

If you can't flamin curse like a normal man, what kind of flag-scrapin, ball-chasin yellow-bellied muckflacker are you then?
I swear, people grow more sky-dropped as they days go by. Next thing you know, they'll be telling me I need to flamin change the way I say flamin!! Imagine the kind of muddle-swoggin, carp-slidin, eel-drinkin fool it'd take to do that!!?

 

[theInmara]

Look up Captain Haddock from the Adventures of Tintin for another example.