Reading the synopsis is this an interesting story?

[nii07]

Read the synopsis and tell me if this is interesting. I have noticed there aren't really any infamous fanfiction. Would do you read it? Do you feel it's interesting?

Infamous Shifter’s Genesis

Damian Reed is an ordinary man trapped in the mundane cycle of a dead-end job he despises. His days are filled with monotonous tasks and a sense of unfulfilled potential. Empire City, his home, is a sprawling urban jungle where the extraordinary is rarely expected. One fateful afternoon, during...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[RepresentingWrath]

I don't read fanfics.

 

[Anonjohn20]

Read the synopsis and tell me if this is interesting. I have noticed there aren't really any infamous fanfiction. Would do you read it? Do you feel it's interesting?

Infamous Shifter’s Genesis

Damian Reed is an ordinary man trapped in the mundane cycle of a dead-end job he despises. His days are filled with monotonous tasks and a sense of unfulfilled potential. Empire City, his home, is a sprawling urban jungle where the extraordinary is rarely expected. One fateful afternoon, during...

www.scribblehub.com

I'm surprised people remember infamous. Early PS3 exclusives didn't get as much love as early Xbox 360 exclusives.

 

[Dieter]

I'm surprised people remember infamous. Early PS3 exclusives didn't get as much love as early Xbox 360 exclusives.

It was my childhood hype game. Second Sons was the coolest thing ever along with prototype.

 

[LilRora]

Now this is probably heavily biased, but I was actively deterred by this synopsis. It looks to me as if it was written by a publisher on a subpar paperback cover. I think the main issues for me are that it's very descriptive and tells a lot of unnecessary details.

First of all, too many things happening. I don't want my synopsis to tell me everything the story is about before I read it. I want key details I'll want to find out more about.

Second, you're attempting to force values and outside opinions on me before I judge for myself - words and phrases like catastrophic, mysterious, even more profound, startling, teetering on the edge of collapse, crucial information. For the author, those things are obvious. For me, looking for a good story? I want you to show me that world and characters through the story, not describe it all in two paragraphs.

Third related issue, you're using words and phrases that trigger immediate red alerts for me. The key to the new hidden powers, treacherous landscape of Empire City, uncovering hidden conspiracies, a web of intrigue, time running out. I don't want to say those are bad because they aren't really, but again, show me those things as they affect the cast, not as an empty description.

I could list out some more, but I think you see what I mean. The issue is not that your book has those things, the core issue is that your synopsis has so many and attempts to push all of them onto me before I see the story for myself. A few are fine. This, at least for me, is not.

 

[Anonjohn20]

Now this is probably heavily biased, but I was actively deterred by this synopsis. It looks to me as if it was written by a publisher on a subpar paperback cover. I think the main issues for me are that it's very descriptive and tells a lot of unnecessary details.

First of all, too many things happening. I don't want my synopsis to tell me everything the story is about before I read it. I want key details I'll want to find out more about.

Second, you're attempting to force values and outside opinions on me before I judge for myself - words and phrases like catastrophic, mysterious, even more profound, startling, teetering on the edge of collapse, crucial information. For the author, those things are obvious. For me, looking for a good story? I want you to show me that world and characters through the story, not describe it all in two paragraphs.

Third related issue, you're using words and phrases that trigger immediate red alerts for me. The key to the new hidden powers, treacherous landscape of Empire City, uncovering hidden conspiracies, a web of intrigue, time running out. I don't want to say those are bad because they aren't really, but again, show me those things as they affect the cast, not as an empty description.

I could list out some more, but I think you see what I mean. The issue is not that your book has those things, the core issue is that your synopsis has so many and attempts to push all of them onto me before I see the story for myself. A few are fine. This, at least for me, is not.

Much like Nii, I also don't know how to write a synopsis. Mine end up sounding like a summary.

 

[nii07]

I'm surprised people remember infamous. Early PS3 exclusives didn't get as much love as early Xbox 360 exclusives.

I like the game very much and I thought it needed a fanfic.

It was my childhood hype game. Second Sons was the coolest thing ever along with prototype.

I enjoyed the infamous and prototype series so I thought to put them together.

Now this is probably heavily biased, but I was actively deterred by this synopsis. It looks to me as if it was written by a publisher on a subpar paperback cover. I think the main issues for me are that it's very descriptive and tells a lot of unnecessary details.

First of all, too many things happening. I don't want my synopsis to tell me everything the story is about before I read it. I want key details I'll want to find out more about.

Second, you're attempting to force values and outside opinions on me before I judge for myself - words and phrases like catastrophic, mysterious, even more profound, startling, teetering on the edge of collapse, crucial information. For the author, those things are obvious. For me, looking for a good story? I want you to show me that world and characters through the story, not describe it all in two paragraphs.

Third related issue, you're using words and phrases that trigger immediate red alerts for me. The key to the new hidden powers, treacherous landscape of Empire City, uncovering hidden conspiracies, a web of intrigue, time running out. I don't want to say those are bad because they aren't really, but again, show me those things as they affect the cast, not as an empty description.

I could list out some more, but I think you see what I mean. The issue is not that your book has those things, the core issue is that your synopsis has so many and attempts to push all of them onto me before I see the story for myself. A few are fine. This, at least for me, is not.

Yeah to be 100% honest I suck at writing synopses. They always end up like some book summaries. I'll take your advice and try to rewrite it. So let me know how the new version sounds.

 

[LilRora]

Yeah to be 100% honest I suck at writing synopses. They always end up like some book summaries. I'll take your advice and try to rewrite it. So let me know how the new version sounds.

A bit of advice, people aren't notified if you edit the message. The only reason I noticed was because I knew I wouldn't be notified and checked if you didn't add anything.

Also, one thing off the bat. Don't put too much effort into your synopsis. It's a very important part of your story when you're publishing online, but forcing something you think will sound better and trying to make it as good as it can be can very easily bite you in the ass as it will likely look artificial. The most important thing about the synopsis is capturing the character of the story.

 

[Anonjohn20]

Now this is probably heavily biased, but I was actively deterred by this synopsis. It looks to me as if it was written by a publisher on a subpar paperback cover. I think the main issues for me are that it's very descriptive and tells a lot of unnecessary details.

First of all, too many things happening. I don't want my synopsis to tell me everything the story is about before I read it. I want key details I'll want to find out more about.

Second, you're attempting to force values and outside opinions on me before I judge for myself - words and phrases like catastrophic, mysterious, even more profound, startling, teetering on the edge of collapse, crucial information. For the author, those things are obvious. For me, looking for a good story? I want you to show me that world and characters through the story, not describe it all in two paragraphs.

Third related issue, you're using words and phrases that trigger immediate red alerts for me. The key to the new hidden powers, treacherous landscape of Empire City, uncovering hidden conspiracies, a web of intrigue, time running out. I don't want to say those are bad because they aren't really, but again, show me those things as they affect the cast, not as an empty description.

I could list out some more, but I think you see what I mean. The issue is not that your book has those things, the core issue is that your synopsis has so many and attempts to push all of them onto me before I see the story for myself. A few are fine. This, at least for me, is not.

Would shortening his synopsis help ease your deterrence? I made a shorter version that still needs work. Clearly my changes are still a WIP and I'm sure Nii will make a better one later.

Damian Reed is an ordinary man trapped in a cycle of a dead-end job he despises, which leaves him feeling unfulfilled, as if he's wasting his potential.

One fateful afternoon, during his lunch break, Damian's world is violently shattered. A catastrophic event causes his life to change forever. The city is thrown into chaos, but for Damian, it does something even more profound: it unlocks some hidden memories within him. The memories are disjointed and scattered, but they carry knowledge about his past and the key to Damian unlocking his true potential.

Now, with Empire City becoming increasingly hostile, Damian must piece together his forgotten past to understand this new and dangerous world. With threats lurking around every corner, Damian must fight and survive in a battleground full of extraordinary people.

 

[LilRora]

Would shortening his synopsis help ease your deterrence? I made a shorter version that still needs work. Clearly my changes are still a WIP and I'm sure Nii will make a better one later.

Does help, but this is the lesser of the issues for me.

 

[nii07]

Don't worry I'm not trying too had to change it. It's just that I would like to be able to write a synopsis. I feel it's a necessary skill to have.

Damian Reed’s life was a grind of unremarkable days at a dead-end job in the sprawling urban jungle of Empire City. Everything changed when a sudden explosion rocks the city, caused by a mysterious object known as the Ray Sphere. Amid the chaos, Damian experienced a surge of fragmented memories that hint at a hidden, extraordinary past.

As Empire City descends into unrest, he discovers he’s more than he thought. The explosion awakens latent abilities within him, thrusting him into a world of superhuman conflict and hidden dangers. With his everyday life shattered Damian must grapple with his new reality and learn to navigate a city where nothing is as it seems.

Caught between his old life and his newfound powers, Damian struggles to piece together his past and find his place in a city now filled with allies and enemies.

This is what I came up with

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Read the synopsis and tell me if this is interesting. I have noticed there aren't really any infamous fanfiction. Would do you read it? Do you feel it's interesting?

Infamous Shifter’s Genesis

Damian Reed is an ordinary man trapped in the mundane cycle of a dead-end job he despises. His days are filled with monotonous tasks and a sense of unfulfilled potential. Empire City, his home, is a sprawling urban jungle where the extraordinary is rarely expected. One fateful afternoon, during...

www.scribblehub.com

On the plus side, the abbreviated version that showed up here interested me enough to read the full version. Unfortunately, the full version felt overlong and a more like ... well, what someone said upthread, what the marketing department decided to put on a paperback, and felt kind of like I already knew the story.

The second version in this thread is stronger to draw interest in the story I think.

 

[nii07]

On the plus side, the abbreviated version that showed up here interested me enough to read the full version. Unfortunately, the full version felt overlong and a more like ... well, what someone said upthread, what the marketing department decided to put on a paperback, and felt kind of like I already knew the story.

The second version in this thread is stronger to draw interest in the story I think.

Thanks I felt it was better too.