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Tempokai

Tempokai

The Overworked One
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Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel of Ultimate BS: The Battle of Unchecked Nonsense​

[Setting]​

A grand, overly dramatic duel arena with massive holograms that somehow defy the laws of physics. Two duelists stand across from each other, glaring like they’ve both sworn a blood vendetta over a children’s card game.
  • Duelist 1: Rex Von Liesington – A master of deception and nonsense, known for bluffing his way to victory in every duel.
  • Duelist 2: Duke Fabuloso – A strategist who counters pure BS with even more absurd BS.
Both know exactly how the cards work, but they’re determined to out-BS each other so hard that the laws of reality bend to their will.

[Turn 1: Rex Von Liesington]​

Rex slaps his card onto the Duel Disk with unnecessary force. The entire stadium shakes.
Rex: “I summon DARK VOID TYRANT DRAGON in attack mode!”
A massive, dragon-like entity materializes, its wings stretching into the sky. It roars so loudly that nearby birds spontaneously combust.
Duke: “Hah! A weak opening move.”
Rex: “Oh, you fool! Dark Void Tyrant Dragon gains 3000 ATK points for every card in my graveyard, and since I thought about discarding 15 cards earlier, I technically did!”
Duke: “That’s... not how the game works.”
Rex: “Yes it is! I played Thought-Discard—an invisible Spell Card that lets me use the power of imagination to count cards as discarded!”
Duke: “That card doesn’t exist.”
Rex: “It does if I believe it does.”
The dragon’s ATK skyrockets to 47,000.
Duke: “…Tch. That’s a lot of damage.”

[Turn 2: Duke Fabuloso]​

Duke smirks and dramatically draws a card, despite already having the perfect counter in his hand.
Duke: “A fine move, but you’ve triggered my Trap Card: Universal Reversal Hex!”
Rex gasps. The audience gasps. A dog somewhere in the city gasps.
Rex: “Impossible! That card reverses all battle outcomes for the rest of the game!”
Duke: “Exactly. Now, every time you deal damage to me, you instead take damage equal to twice that amount! So by attacking me, you’d be obliterating yourself!”
Rex: “Hah! A simple-minded fool’s ploy! You activated MY Trap Card: Quantum Bullshifter!”
Duke: “WHAT?!”
Rex: “It allows me to ignore the effects of your trap only if I say it fast enough for you to be confused for three seconds!”
Duke: “…That’s not even a real rul—”
Rex (talking rapidly): “Youalreadylostbecausequantumshiftinghasshiftedyourtrapintothegraveyardbeforeitresolvedhahahaha!”
Duke blinks. The Trap Card disappears.
Duke: “No. NO! That’s not even—”
Rex: “TOO LATE! DARK VOID TYRANT DRAGON, ATTACK!”
The dragon inhales, preparing to obliterate Duke and possibly several bystanders with its cosmic fire.

[Counter-BS: Duke’s Turnabout]​

But Duke merely smirks.
Duke: “Ah, but you’ve activated my OTHER Trap Card: Reverse-Reversal Anti-Quantum Mirror!”
Rex staggers backward.
Rex: “WHAT?! But that card was banned in seven dimensions!”
Duke: “And yet… here it is.”
The Trap glows, and suddenly, Duke’s previous trap is back as if nothing happened.
Duke: “That means your attack still reverses—sending 94,000 damage back to YOU!”
Rex screams in slow motion.
Rex: “NOOOOOOOOOO—”
His Life Points plummet from 4000 to negative infinity.

[Victory? Not So Fast]​

As the dust settles, Duke crosses his arms smugly.
Duke: “And with that… I win.”
But then…
Rex (grinning weakly): “You… fell for it.”
Duke: “…What?”
Rex slowly reveals one last card from his sleeve. Dramatic orchestra music swells for no reason.
Rex: “I played… The Legendary Plot Armor Card before the duel even started!”
Duke: “IMPOSSIBLE!”
Rex: “This card states that ‘If the user is about to lose due to absolute nonsense, instead, they win the duel immediately because of sheer audacity!’”
Lightning crashes. The sky turns purple. The universe itself groans in protest.
Duke: “NOOOOOOOO!!!”
Rex’s Life Points shoot back to 1. Meanwhile, Duke’s Life Points plummet to -999,999,999,999.
The duel disk explodes. Duke is launched into the stratosphere.

[Post-Duel Aftermath]​

As Duke plummets back to Earth, he lands in a crater of his own shattered pride.
Duke: “…You win this time… but I’ll be back… with even greater BS.”
Rex flips his cape dramatically.
Rex: “Until then, my friend… until then.”
The screen freezes mid-motion as a narrator voice announces, "NEXT TIME ON YU-GI-OH!... Will Duke return with an even more absurd counter-strategy? Will Rex finally be banned from all sanctioned tournaments? FIND OUT… NEXT DUEL!"
[TO BE CONTINUED…]
 
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