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Representing_Tromba

Representing_Tromba

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melchi said:
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Professor Biblebane
 
Tempokai

Tempokai

The Overworked One
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A bedtime story:
In a realm where the laws of physics were as fickle as the stock market and dragons had more Twitter followers than celebrities, Jerry found himself quite literally dropped into the middle of a prophecy. This wasn’t the kind of epic arrival you’d expect from someone destined to dethrone a demon king. No, Jerry fell out of the sky, crashed through the ornate ceiling of a sacred temple, and landed on a congregation of bewildered priests mid-chant. Talk about making an entrance.

As the dust settled and the last bits of ceiling decor ceased their pitiful attempt at defying gravity, Jerry stood up, dusted off his jeans—which were now a curious blend of modern casual and ancient rubble chic—and stared blankly at the gaping faces around him. The head priest, a man whose beard seemed to have more authority than his entire body, stepped forward, scrolls in hand, and proclaimed, “The Chosen One has arrived! Just as the prophecy foretold!”

Jerry, who up until three seconds ago was just another guy who thought ‘isekai’ was a type of sushi, blinked. “I’m sorry, what? I was just on my way to grab a coffee. There’s a Starbucks around here, right?”

The priests exchanged glances, their faith in prophecies slightly shaken by the mention of a foreign deity named Starbucks. Nevertheless, they proceeded to explain to Jerry the grand destiny that awaited him: to defeat the demon king who terrorized the lands, bringing peace and harmony once again.

Jerry listened, his expression a perfect blend of confusion and irritation. “Look, I don’t know what kind of LARPing stuff this is, but I have a job interview on Monday, and I really can’t afford to miss it. So, if you could just point me to the nearest portal, subway station, whatever you have here, that’d be great.”

The priests, however, were insistent. There was no going back until the demon king was defeated. That’s when Jerry’s irritation morphed into resolve. “Fine. If speedrunning this demon king nonsense is what it takes to get back, then let’s get this over with.”

Thus began Jerry’s quest, a rampage through a fantasy world he didn’t understand, powered by sheer annoyance and the pressing need to not miss his job interview. He approached every challenge with the same strategy: brute force and blissful ignorance. Why bother learning the intricacies of magic when you could just punch things? This was Jerry’s philosophy, and surprisingly, it worked.

Three days into his involuntary isekai adventure, after speedrunning through quests that were supposed to take weeks, Jerry found himself standing before the demon king’s fortress. It was less ‘fortress of doom’ and more ‘overcompensating for something’, but Jerry wasn’t there to critique architectural choices.

The final battle was anticlimactic, to say the least. Jerry, who by now had acquired a legendary sword (found it lying next to a dumpster, of all places), barged into the throne room, interrupted the demon king’s monologue about darkness and despair, and with a well-aimed swing that would’ve made any baseball coach proud, sent the demon king’s head flying.

“As the prophecy foretold,” Jerry muttered sarcastically, sheathing the sword that he’d decided to name Kevin. Why Kevin? Because why not.

The realm rejoiced, the skies cleared, and the priests heralded the dawn of a new era. Jerry, however, was just checking his watch. “Cool. So, about that portal?”

As if on cue, a portal shimmered into existence. Jerry stepped through without hesitation, finding himself back on the street he’d been taken from, just in time to catch the barista at Starbucks writing ‘Gerry’ on his cup. Some things never change.

And so, Jerry’s isekai adventure came to an end. He made it to his job interview, landed the position, and occasionally told the tale of how he got the job thanks to a detour through another dimension. No one believed him, of course, but Jerry didn’t mind. After all, who would believe a story about speedrunning a demon king over a weekend?
 
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