random stuff

NotaNuffian

NotaNuffian

This does spark joy.
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dummycake said:
View attachment 20984
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Tempokai

Tempokai

The Overworked One
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A bedtime story.
Once upon a time, in a world where even the fairy tales had to comply with the rigorous standards of Health, Safety, Environment, and Quality, there were three pigs who decided to build houses. The first pig, not wanting to disturb the environment, chose to construct his house out of eco-friendly straw. "Well, at least it's biodegradable," he muttered to himself.

The second pig, who had a fondness for energy efficiency, opted for a house made of recycled sticks. "Reduce, reuse, and recycle," he sang, patting himself on the back for his sustainable choice.

Now, the third pig, clearly ahead of his time, recognized the importance of self-defense and proper property protection. He meticulously built his house out of reinforced concrete, equipped with a state-of-the-art security system and, of course, a gun. "Just in case," he said with a sly grin, as he polished the firearm.

Enter the wolf, a misunderstood carnivore with questionable intentions. He approached the first pig's straw house and huffed and puffed, which, in this health-conscious version, was accompanied by a warning sign stating "Breathing heavily may cause respiratory discomfort."

Needless to say, the straw house collapsed faster than you can say "organic compost." The first pig sneezed and went running to the second pig's house.

The wolf, now dealing with a mild case of panting, arrived at the second pig's stick house. With slightly less gusto due to the reduced lung capacity from his previous encounter, he huffed and puffed once more. The sticks held up a bit longer, but alas, they too succumbed to the huffing and puffing.

So, the two pigs, now homeless and questioning their life choices, hurried over to the third pig's fortified abode. The third pig greeted them smugly, polishing his gun with an air of superiority. The wolf, realizing he was dealing with a pig who was not only safety-conscious but also armed to the trotters, hesitated.

"Come out and face your fate!" demanded the wolf, his voice a little wheezy from all the huffing and puffing.

The third pig adjusted his gun and replied, "Stand back! I'm exercising my right to protect my property!"

And thus, in a tale that blended safety regulations, environmental responsibility, and the Second Amendment, the third pig managed to fend off the wolf in a "self-defense" incident that left everyone wondering just how the fairy tale world had become so complicated. As for the wolf, he retired to a cozy counseling den to explore non-confrontational methods of getting his carnivorous cravings satisfied. And they all lived safely ever after. The end.
 
NotaNuffian

NotaNuffian

This does spark joy.
Joined
Nov 26, 2019
Messages
5,292
Points
233
Tempokai said:
A bedtime story.
Once upon a time, in a world where even the fairy tales had to comply with the rigorous standards of Health, Safety, Environment, and Quality, there were three pigs who decided to build houses. The first pig, not wanting to disturb the environment, chose to construct his house out of eco-friendly straw. "Well, at least it's biodegradable," he muttered to himself.

The second pig, who had a fondness for energy efficiency, opted for a house made of recycled sticks. "Reduce, reuse, and recycle," he sang, patting himself on the back for his sustainable choice.

Now, the third pig, clearly ahead of his time, recognized the importance of self-defense and proper property protection. He meticulously built his house out of reinforced concrete, equipped with a state-of-the-art security system and, of course, a gun. "Just in case," he said with a sly grin, as he polished the firearm.

Enter the wolf, a misunderstood carnivore with questionable intentions. He approached the first pig's straw house and huffed and puffed, which, in this health-conscious version, was accompanied by a warning sign stating "Breathing heavily may cause respiratory discomfort."

Needless to say, the straw house collapsed faster than you can say "organic compost." The first pig sneezed and went running to the second pig's house.

The wolf, now dealing with a mild case of panting, arrived at the second pig's stick house. With slightly less gusto due to the reduced lung capacity from his previous encounter, he huffed and puffed once more. The sticks held up a bit longer, but alas, they too succumbed to the huffing and puffing.

So, the two pigs, now homeless and questioning their life choices, hurried over to the third pig's fortified abode. The third pig greeted them smugly, polishing his gun with an air of superiority. The wolf, realizing he was dealing with a pig who was not only safety-conscious but also armed to the trotters, hesitated.

"Come out and face your fate!" demanded the wolf, his voice a little wheezy from all the huffing and puffing.

The third pig adjusted his gun and replied, "Stand back! I'm exercising my right to protect my property!"

And thus, in a tale that blended safety regulations, environmental responsibility, and the Second Amendment, the third pig managed to fend off the wolf in a "self-defense" incident that left everyone wondering just how the fairy tale world had become so complicated. As for the wolf, he retired to a cozy counseling den to explore non-confrontational methods of getting his carnivorous cravings satisfied. And they all lived safely ever after. The end.
Click to expand...
I hate myself for reading it all.

So instead of a chimney, the third pig had another hot barrel for the wolf.
 
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