Quote of the Day

[RepresentingCaution]

One of my best friends used to share funny out-of-context quotes from her life every day. She no longer does this, but we had a lot of fun with it while it lasted. I'd like to invite you to share whatever funny quotes you have, whether they come from your own life or somewhere else.

"My friend told me that there is a switch halfway down the front that I need to toggle."
― Kari Rakitan

"You need to push a bottom on your creature."
― Kari Rakitan's Husband

And now, a funny quote from a famous science fiction author:
“You have to give an editor something to change, or he gets frustrated. After he pees in it himself, he likes the flavor much better, so he buys it.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

If you don't have anything right now, spend your day observing your life as an outsider would and come back to share later. Feel free to share a new quote every day!

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
― Socrates

 

[Mihou]

"Live while enjoying yourself."
- Coconut

 

[weakwithwords]

Spoiler

Teasing between friends can be fun and tolerable if it is not always one-sided.

... and the spoilee:

After confiding my troubles with a friend, he texted back: "Hurry! Find a cliff and jump!"

He was no longer my friend after that.

 

[BenJepheneT]

"Enjoy it while it lasts. There's always someone out there, who's little faster than you are. And sooner or later they're gonna catch up. " - Darius to the Player at the end of Career Mode, Need for Speed: Carbon

For a B-rated racing game from 2007, that quote struck a real chord with me.

 

[DragonMage18]

"It just works" -Todd Howard

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

“Bank robbery is an initiative of amateurs. True professionals establish a bank.”

- Bertolt Brecht

 

[gaylolis]

"The only ones who hate Wonderwall are hipsters and Oasis."

-a Youtube comment

 

[BenJepheneT]

"The only ones who hate Wonderwall are hipsters and Oasis."

-a Youtube comment

holy shit my sides are in orbit

 

[AliceShiki]

People die when they are killed.
-Emiya Shirou

 

[latvis16]

"Gardener without knife is like whore without pussy"
- My internship supervisor when he gave me a knife.

 

[weakwithwords]

It is to my understanding, a miracle in and of itself, that what differentiates this thread from Discount_Blade's is that our quotes are supposedly lifted from our own experiences.

I recall my kindergarten days and *cough* a little after that, I would get NFDs (not following directions) during written tests because I tended to follow my instinct and intuition, whichever was less lazier to guide me on that day.

QftD: "NFD"

 

[RepresentingCaution]

"Gardener without knife is like whore without pussy"
- My internship supervisor when he gave me a knife.

OMG, I might use that!

 

[RepresentingCaution]

"That's because your owner fed you your noz and dingle."
- My dog, in a dream

 

[weakwithwords]

*mumble, mumble*
*mumble, mumble*
"... but don't pick your friend's nose."

"If others can do it, why can't I?"
// dramatic pause

"Because I can't!"
// heroic pose

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Husband: When we get married, we should say nonsense to each other every day.
Me: Always keep your pantry stocked with the bladders of your cats.

 

[GDLiZy]

"You can’t measure love with numbers, you can only measure it in terms of intensity. In terms of blind loyalty to the imperative."
"It’s death to settle for things in life."
"The individual case is always an indicator of a larger issue."

— Lenny Belardo, the Young Pope

 

[weakwithwords]

Cat urine is toxic but is good for UV special effects.

Some years ago, I casually asked in MAL IRC:

"What is the difference between smartass and dumbass?"

It sparked a fun chaotic debate for an hour or two.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

“Male is stuck in his own thing right now.” – Kari Rakitan’s husband

 

[weakwithwords]

Pacman cannot keep his ghosts in the closet.